I have no issues with the cooking, but you can't expect me to miss my job just to cook for people who can cook for themselves, especially if the husband wants nothing to do with my own family... He'll cook for them.

It's not like they'll pay me one million for cooking for them.

I'll be busy working so that I can have enough money to financially support my own family if ever the time comes for them to require financially assistance.

komzy589:

Trust me, when the time comes, you’ll beg to cook for them.

So let me get this straight... Are you telling me that according to the Nigerian culture, it is viewed as a normal thing for a man to disrespect and not love his wife while expecting the opposite from the same wife just because he paid the bride price?

And if want to do away with Western ideas, why are you using a western language and western products? Why not go live in the forest away from the western life? Can you even speak your native language fluently?

Gajagojo:

It has everything to do with Nationality
The way we operate marriage in Nigeria is different from other places where they have no sense of ancestry or identity and want to act like white people
That may be your issue
What is love? What does that mean?
We do not marry for love that is a Western idea
We marry out of a sense of responsibility to community and ancestors.You won't understand
We are not responsible To just ourselves
we have a duty To make babies and keep life going in harmony
All this nonsense you are saying is not for us in Nigeria

Samantha124:
So let me get this straight... Are you telling me that according to the Nigerian culture, it is viewed as a normal thing for a man to disrespect and not love his wife while expecting the opposite from the same wife just because he paid the bride price?

And if want to do away with Western ideas, why are you using a western language and western products? Why not go live in the forest away from the western life? Can you even speak your native language fluently?

That is your own formulation of the situation
I never said anything like that
All this emotional summarization is your own not mine
You seem to reason in binaries ....If it is not white it must be black...well there is a lot more nuance to the World.
Again I never said do away with Western ideas. or anything remotely like that
All I.am.saying is we know who we are and where we are going
All that talk about using western language is irrelevant,childish and unintelligent.
You can wake up.and say because a man does not give you his salary at the end of the month he does not love you or he disrespected you . There is no limit to stupidity . The law.allows for you to be foolish . That is your right. What we are discussing here is whether it is a man's responsibility to be financially responsible for his inlaws. How that now translates into disrespect or lack of love is a testament to the limitless foolishness in the world
A.man can and should support his wife's family If he can but it is not his responsibility in Nigerian culture of even the Christian and Islamic cultures that have been imposed on us

You're the one who said we shouldn't let the western culture influence us, yet you're using the western language and western products, I'm sure you'll also do anything to live in a western country too... You see how you're contradicting yourself?

You know who you are and where you're going by being selfish? Is that how your tradition is like? The men want their women to do everything for them by being submissive, yet they don't want to be the providers?

I also stated that a woman can cook for her husband, but it's not her responsibility to cook for his family... She should only do it if she can, but it's not her responsibility.

Gajagojo:

That is your own formulation of the situation
I never said anything like that
All this emotional summarization is your own not mine
You seem to reason in binaries ....If it is not white it must be black...well there is a lot more nuance to the World.
Again I never said do away with Western ideas. or anything remotely like that
All I.am.saying is we know who we are and where we are going
All that talk about using western language is irrelevant,childish and unintelligent.
You can wake up.and say because a man does not give you his salary at the end of the month he does not love you or he disrespected you . There is no limit to stupidity . The law.allows for you to be foolish . That is your right. What we are discussing here is whether it is a man's responsibility to be financially responsible for his inlaws. How that now translates into disrespect or lack of love is a testament to the limitless foolishness in the world
A.man can and should support his wife's family If he can but it is not his responsibility in Nigerian culture of even the Christian and Islamic cultures that have been imposed on us

Samantha124:
You're the one who said we shouldn't let the western culture influence us, yet you're using the western language and western products, I'm sure you'll also do anything to live in a western country too... You see how you're contradicting yourself?

You know who you are and where you're going by being selfish? Is that how your tradition is like? The men want their women to do everything for them by being submissive, yet they don't want to be the providers?

I also stated that a woman can cook for her husband, but it's not her responsibility to cook for his family... She should only do it if she can, but it's not her responsibility.

Where did I say we shouldn't let Western culture influence us?
Please show the quote

Go check your quotes yourself, I can't be showing you something you said yourself.

If you have issues with Western ideas, then do away with everything that has to do with the western culture.

Gajagojo:


Where did I say we shouldn't let Western culture influence us?
Please show the quote

Samantha124:
Go check your quotes yourself, I can't be showing you something you said yourself.

If you have issues with Western ideas, then do away with everything that has to do with the western culture.

Well I never said that if you have a problem with reading and comprehending simple English how Is that my problem or responsibility Your inchoate education is you and your family's responsibility not mine

It seem your problem is about being responsible for your selfYou want someone to pay the bills for you and your family in the name of love. What a parasite .

Once again You cannot make silly and false claims and then deny responsibility when called out.
YOU ARE A LIAR. A childish and silly one at that.

You are sounding quite foolish. I never said so if you have evidence bring it or shut your ignorant gob

Ideas are cross fertilised that is the nature of humanity and history

Everyone takes ideas from.someone that does not mean denying your self or becoming another person. By your warped logic because American men are now marrying men we should start doing that in Nigeria?

.

ednut1:
🙄 . My policy is dont start what you can’t finish lol

Alright bro.Have a pleasant day.cheers

omooba969:


Daddy freeze has told you guys to leave struggling girls alone, let them marry their mates.

It's a common occurrence seeing a rich guy pick a girl from the gutter and clean her up, but it's so rare for our loaded women to do so.

Let the poor marry the poor & the rich, the rich...says the preacher!

Alright bro.He who have ear let them hear.

Lol... So you've now resorted to using insults? Most of you Nigerian men are such cry babies and can easily get emotional...🤣🤣🤣

Immediately you guys start going off topic and using insults, I know that I hit a nerve...💃💃💃.. is that also part of your culture?🤭🤭🤭

Like I said, do away with everything that has to do with Western culture if you have issues with Western ideas...

Gajagojo:

Well I never said that if you have a problem with reading and comprehending simple English how Is that my problem or responsibility Your inchoate education is you and your family's responsibility not mine

It seem your problem is about being responsible for your selfYou want someone to pay the bills for you and your family in the name of love. What a parasite .

Once again You cannot make silly and false claims and then deny responsibility when called out.
YOU ARE A LIAR. A childish and silly one at that.

You are sounding quite foolish. I never said so if you have evidence bring it or shut your ignorant gob

Ideas are cross fertilised that is the nature of humanity and history

Everyone takes ideas from.someone that does not mean denying your self or becoming another person. By your warped logic because American men are now marrying men we should start doing that in Nigeria?

Samantha124:
I have no issues with the cooking, but you can't expect me to miss my job just to cook for people who can cook for themselves, especially if the husband wants nothing to do with my own family... He'll cook for them.

It's not like they'll pay me one million for cooking for them.

I'll be busy working so that I can have enough money to financially support my own family if ever the time comes for them to require financially assistance.

Remove bitterness and competition out of the context and see what Reno meant.
You’re your husbands priority, not your family or extended one. If your extended family is having financial issues, your husband is not obligated to help. Just as you are not obligated to cook and clean for your husband’s family in their different homes.
But if they come to visit you in your house, you will be honored and over-joyed to cook for everybody instead of your husbands younger sister.
You forget that your surname is now your husbands family name.
Competition for supremacy will not do you any good because God has designed it this way.

Samantha124:
Lol... So you've now resorted to using insults? Most of you Nigerian men are such cry babies and can easily get emotional...🤣🤣🤣

Immediately you guys start going off topic and using insults, I know that I hit a nerve...💃💃💃.. is that also part of your culture?🤭🤭🤭

Like I said, do away with everything that has to do with Western culture if you have issues with Western ideas...

I don't have time for idiotic back and forths

You woke up this morning and came for me

You said I said something which I maintain I did not
So show the evidence
If you cannot do that shut up and naff off.
You seem to be an expert on Nigerian men
If they are all those things you say? Why the obsession
Let us not be emotional.Let us be objective
Bring out the evidence to back up your claim and stop blackmailing us with stupid talk

If his family comes to the house, I'll only cook for them if I can because I'll be busy working so that I can financially support my own family when they require financial assistance... Because I'll be obligated to help them when the time comes.

Don't be bringing God into this because this is neither the religious section or church... And that same God said thou shall not fornicate, but y'all are fornicating... That same God also said men should be the providers while the women should be submissive... Immedialtely you stop fulfilling your duty as a man, I'll also stop fulfilling my duty as a woman.

I can't miss my job to cook for people who can cook for themselves... Their son will cook for them... I'm not obligated to ditch my job to cook for people who can cook... Must I I risk losing my job because of a mere surname that won't be making me any money?

komzy589:

Remove bitterness and competition out of the context and see what Reno meant.
You’re your husbands priority, not your family or extended one. If your extended family is having financial issues, your husband is not obligated to help. Just as you are not obligated to cook and clean for your husband’s family in their different homes.
But if they come to visit you in your house, you will be honored and over-joyed to cook for everybody instead of your husbands younger sister.
You forget that your surname is now your husbands family name.
Competition for supremacy will not do you any good because God has designed it this way.

I dedicate Justin Timberlake's "cry me a river" to you... Enjoy..💃💃💃

Gajagojo:


I don't have time for idiotic back and forths

You woke up this morning and came for me

You said I said something which I maintain I did not
So show the evidence
If you cannot do that shut up and naff off.
You seem to be an expert on Nigerian men
If they are all those things you say? Why the obsession
Let us not be emotional.Let us be objective
Bring out the evidence to back up your claim and stop blackmailing us with stupid talk

Samantha124:
I dedicate Justin Timberlake's "cry me a river" to you... Enjoy..💃💃💃

Go and wash you are dirty and stinky

And go and cry me a river...💃💃💃

Gajagojo:

Go and wash you are dirty and stinky

Samantha124:
And go and cry me a river...💃💃💃

boring irritant

💃💃💃💃

Gajagojo:
boring irritant

Samantha124:
So what you're telling me is that Nigerian men don't love and respect their in-laws, yet they expect their wives to love and respect their in-laws just because a bride price was paid for them

That's not what I'm saying

So what you're telling me is that a man being overburdened, slaving or made compulsorily to provide for his in-laws and not out of his personal will is your definition of him being loving and respectful?

Samantha124:
If his family comes to the house, I'll only cook for them if I can because I'll be busy working so that I can financially support my own family when they require financial assistance... Because I'll be obligated to help them when the time comes.

Don't be bringing God into this because this is neither the religious section or church... And that same God said thou shall not fornicate, but y'all are fornicating... That same God also said men should be the providers while the women should be submissive... Immedialtely you stop fulfilling your duty as a man, I'll also stop fulfilling my duty as a woman.

I can't miss my job to cook for people who can cook for themselves... Their son will cook for them... I'm not obligated to ditch my job to cook for people who can cook... Must I I risk losing my job because of a mere surname that won't be making me any money?

Lol..you’re just letting me know you’re a child.

Okay...

komzy589:

Lol..you’re just letting me know you’re a child.

Like I said, I'm against it the same way I'm against a woman being made a slave for her in-laws.

Theama:


That's not what I'm saying

So what you're telling me is that a man being overburdened, slaving or made compulsorily to provide for his in-laws and not out of his personal will is your definition of him being loving and respectful?

Samantha124:
Like I said, I'm against it the same way I'm against a woman being made a slave for her in-laws.

Didn't sound like you were against it.

Besides since when did being hospitable e.g cooking for family, friends and guests when they visit become slavery? It's not like they're staying forever.

Clearly you didn't read my first comment.

And since when is helping your in-laws financially a burden and slavery? it's not like they'll be asking for financial assistance forever too.

Theama:


Didn't sound like you were against it.

Besides since when did being hospitable e.g cooking for family, friends and guests when they visit become slavery? It's not like they're staying forever.

Samantha124:
Clearly you didn't read my first comment.

And since when is helping your in-laws financially a burden and slavery? it's not like they'll be asking for financial assistance forever too.

My point exactly

Helping them isn't slavery the same thing as being hospitable isn't slavery . Give if you're able to and not be forced to is the point.

They requesting financial assistance and demanding for it constantly and by force is slavery. That is abuse and is different from if he decides to be constantly sending it by his own will. This is the point.

You get?

The same way cooking/being hospitable when people come to your house isn't slavery. You can't chase them back to where they're coming from.

You being forced to go to their house to cook and nurse them is slavery and abuse. This is different from if you decided willingly/agree to go there.

Now, assuming the couple's distance from their relatives is long.


Yes, the relatives can ask for financial assistance forever over the phone ( e.g every week, month); it is possible. No, they cannot visit your house (every week, month)

Read to understand and not always to argue

Now, do you understand?

You're the one who should read to understand and not to argue... Even after I told you that I'm not against the man not financially supporting his in-laws, you're still trying to force your ideology on me.

You're entitled to your own opinion, so stop trying to project it on me.

Theama:


My point exactly

Helping them isn't slavery the same thing as being hospitable isn't slavery . Give if you're able to and not be forced to is the point.

They requesting financial assistance and demanding for it constantly and by force is slavery. That is abuse and is different from if he decides to be constantly sending it by his own will. This is the point.

You get?

The same way cooking/being hospitable when people come to your house isn't slavery. You can't chase them back to where they're coming from.

You being forced to go to their house to cook and nurse them is slavery and abuse. This is different from if you decided willingly/agree to go there.

Now, assuming the couple's distance from their relatives is long.


Yes, the relatives can ask for financial assistance forever over the phone ( e.g every week, month); it is possible. No, they cannot visit your house (every week, month)

Read to understand and not always to argue

Now, do you understand?

Samantha124:
You're the one who should read to understand and not to argue... Even after I told you that I'm not against the man not financially supporting his in-laws, you're still trying to force your ideology on me.

You're entitled to your own opinion, so stop trying to project it on me.

Toh!

Samantha124:
You're the one who should read to understand and not to argue... Even after I told you that I'm not against the man not financially supporting his in-laws, you're still trying to force your ideology on me.

You're entitled to your own opinion, so stop trying to project it on me.

I just went through and re-read from the initial post.

"When they visit, they should cook for themselves..." This was what I was trying to address aif you go through my responses.

I didn't pay attention to the ''whenever the wife is busy," part. Re-reading it, I assume busy means when at work.

Apparently, admittedly, I read out of context including your initial(also actual) view on the financial support stuff.