Why keeping it secret is my major concern

Innobee99:
Easier said than done. How will ur wife be building a house without ur consent? This ur write up is just to get accolades

How is your consent required for her to build her own house in her father's compound

hopexter:


On the same page of building a house on her father’s land? Don’t be a simp

The problem with most of u immature men here is that,u can't differentiate between opinion and conclusion.

See u that isn't a Simp.

Just don't grow up,but grow with ur brain,there is a reason for that.

ZIMDRILL:


its a very complex issue, first of all
we need to know the dynamics in her marriage, remember a men can be the head of the house, but might be a poor person in creating a future for the kids

Shhh. Too much sense is nonsense

Lamasta:
Why keeping it secret is my major concern

🤔
Maybe she found out revealing in the vegiymight be counterproductive

baralatie:

How is your consent required for her to build her own house in her father's compound

Keep shut u oh ye SIMP

PedoBear:
Beat her black and blue not for informing me

Thank God
She is building the house because she has a place to run to
🤣

Depends. If she had been contributing her quota to the running of the home such that it allows me have excess for my own plan B, I would do nothing. On the other hand, if the responsibility of the home rest solely on me whereby I hardly have anything left for my own personal enjoyment or plan B and I made this discovery, I'm dissolving whatever we share together as a fraud would have been committed. A woman I have been paying her rent for donkey years decides to become a landlord secretly behind my back? Like, the money she should have used to support me in paying rent or getting our own apartment she instead decided to use it all for herself? After all I was foolish to continue to allow her live with me rent free, or foolish enough not to have considered a smaller, cheaper and maybe less convenient apartment so that I too can use the excess to start building a house secretly?

I just think this can't be me because from the first time I meet you I let you know it is going to be 50-50. Arrangements like this prevent a situation where the man will be denying himself comfort and delaying his growth/plans all because of his wife and kids. Then, there will be his wife who will be using her own money to either sponsor her siblings education or secretly acquiring properties that even her husband cannot afford simply because of her and her kids.

immortalcrown:
I will pray and work to be able to build our own house in my compound.

Any of her belongings that she does not willingly give to me is not worth fighting for, because what is gotten through violence may easily massage ego but can hardly give real happiness. I want to live long. You will die young if you don't overlook or endure certain things in marriage.

I don't understand all this rubbish sha. Why would a family be doing things in secret? How is that a family in thr first place? I will end marriage with immediate effect. It is not about her giving you the property

emmanuelewumi:



There is a woman who used to leave in my area, the husband opened a catering business for her. When she saved money, she asked me to assist her to get a land that she would love to surprise her husband by building a house.


I asked her to inform the husband who opened the business for her. When he told the man, he collected the money from the wive bought a bigger car, moved to a bigger apartment.


Husband was an Electrical Engineer.


The next time she saved money, she bought a land without telling the husband and also built a 3 bedroom apartment on it at Sango Otta


It was after the husband was retired and couldn't afford rent, that the wife opened up to the husband that she had built a house where the family could relocate to.

A wise woman she is, in this case the husband cannot fault her secrecy

Innobee99:
Keep shut u oh ye SIMP

Maybe that is why the woman would never consider even informing that she wants to build a house
Because of such inferior thinking

loswhite:
I don't understand all this rubbish sha. Why would a family be doing things in secret? How is that a family in thr first place? I will end marriage with immediate effect. It is not about her giving you the property

You can't because you don't know how things turned out

jmoore:
I will do nothing. She used her money, not mine.

You don’t have a family so definitely you don't need to do anything.

Waffarianman:
That's deep for me I'll just let it be don't worth fighting for. Then rearrange myself and keep more secrets to myself

Of what benefits will that be to the family? If we cannot be family then there is no reason to be together.

Naijabad:
What will you do if your wife is secretly building a house in her fathers compound.

Will secretly send a QS to go and give me estimate of finishing it and i will secretly send the money into her account and send a screenshot of the payment leaving a comment" to support the completion of the building project. Love you."

sammiewrite:
Depends. If she had been contributing her quota to the running of the home such that it allows me have excess for my own plan B, I would do nothing. On the other hand, if the responsibility of the home rest solely on me whereby I hardly have anything left for my own personal enjoyment or plan B and I made this discovery, I'm dissolving whatever we share together as a fraud would have been committed. A woman I have been paying her rent for donkey years decides to become a landlord secretly behind my back? Like, the money she should have used to support me in paying rent or getting our own apartment she instead decided to use it all for herself? After all I was foolish to continue to allow her live with me rent free, or foolish enough not to have considered a smaller, cheaper and maybe less convenient apartment so that I too can use the excess to start building a house secretly?

I just think this can't be me because from the first time I meet you I let you know it is going to be 50-50. Arrangements like this prevent a situation where the man will be denying himself comfort and delaying his growth/plans all because of his wife and kids. Then, there will be his wife who will be using her own money to either sponsor her siblings education or secretly acquiring properties that even her husband cannot afford simply because of her and her kids.

What happens even your 50:50 arrangement sharing of house financial responsibilities
She is secretly building the house in her father's compound

qtx:

Will secretly send a QS to go and give me estimate of finishing it and i will secretly send the money into her account and send a screenshot of the payment leaving a comment" to support the completion of the building project. Love you."

😲😲
Psychological warfare🤣🤣

madridguy:
I will support her with a trailer of dangote cement.

It is called significant contribution in the high court

tetula123:
you still didn’t answer my question. Let me help you out. Is is ok for couples to keep secrets? Now the op didn’t say this or that happened. So we will assume it’s a stable home. Now I ask again. Is it right for couples to keep secrets?

How will you react to the secret? Some secrets are better kept for you to have a good mental health.


Do you know that some so called stable family is because of boundaries set and secret kept by the partners

Jewessgratitud3:
You people have come again with this secret house matter. For crying loud, let the secret builders breeefffff.. it's their money they are using to build, not yours and every one has a right to how they use their money and what they use it for and do not owe any body papa any explanation; be you husband or wife. Haba!

As long as your Money is not in the equation, face front.

As long as the house is not posing a threat to you as the wife or husband, you have the right to face front!!!

As long as it doesn't make your spouse reduce their love and respect for you, 👉👉👉 ⏩⏩.

Let's stop making a mountain out of a molehill. Nothing there and if it bothers you, go and build your own!

If you are not married just keep quiet. All this nonsense you type here show you have zero knowledge of what marriage and family is all about. If ppl want to be individuals after marriage why decide to get married? You guys can just have agreement to have kids and move on

loswhite:
Of what benefits will that be to the family? If we cannot be family then there is no reason to be together.

No stress your choice

latiephwald:
I think the marriage is no more safe for me. I will have to get it dissolved so that I can leave long.

What happens as you leave
She become commissioner
Is it that time you will the lov

baralatie:

Maybe that is why the woman would never consider even informing that she wants to build a house
Because of such inferior thinking

I give u now till 2pm to ask 5 men how they'll feel if such situation comes up and give me feedback.

Question the source of the money.

Innobee99:
I give u now till 2pm to ask 5 men how they'll feel if such situation comes up and give me feedback.

Rather I want to go state by state.Ask women who are married and have built their own houses and those who built houses in the husbands father compound
What happened to those houses on the demise of the husband?

scrupulousblog:
Question the source of the money.

She earns #1.5 m per month

Wish her well and ensure you have a roof over your head in your own name. She signals she prefers to live her life independently of you. Do not buy own anything jointly or in her name!

immortalcrown:
I will pray and work to be able to build our own house in my compound.

Any of her belongings that she does not willingly give to me is not worth fighting for, because what is gotten through violence may easily massage ego but can hardly give real happiness. I want to live long. You will die young if you don't overlook or endure certain things in marriage.

Correct! A wise husband is advised to not look to the things of his wife. Believe God to financially empower you to do your financial responsibilities in the home. Meanwhile create a family WhatsApp group where all expenses you make in the home, on her and the children is posted for them to see especially because the wife might be inclined to misinform the children to the intent that you are irresponsible! Only God is a true friend worth calling one!!

Nice2023:
It could be because both of u aren't on the same page.

Which page? Is it not clear already that she is not even reading the same book with husband let alone the same page.

madridguy:
I will support her with a trailer of dangote cement.

You will e encouraging her to do more things on her own. I wish you well.

Smart woman .


An average Nigerian man can't handle this type of woman. They want a consumer and not a producer, yet they will be complaining why they can't create generational wealth for their children and family.

Innobee99:
Easier said than done. How will ur wife be building a house without ur consent? This ur write up is just to get accolades

My philosophy and attitude inspire my comments. Your own philosophy and attitude inspire your own comments. Suit yourself.