That marriage is ruined except there are good reasons(trust), even then she should disclose after buying the land.

Free2Fly:
You always rush to dish out stupid responses in the name of being the first to comment, just to get some likes from some idiots. If you don't understand what marriage is and how it should work, you should just get out from such threads.

Are you obsessed with who comments first? Anyways, it is good that I "rush" to comment so that you will always "rush" to read it to your consternation.

Meanwhile, my philosophy and attitude inspire my comments. Your own philosophy and attitude inspire your own comments. Suit yourself.

Starships4u:
Are yhu married at all? Do yhu really understand what is secret in marriage at all?

Forget my marital status. Use facts to counter my comment.

That's her business as long as it's not be my money.

HeadNigga:
I will jejely ask her to move to her new house. We are done.

Lazy youth.

I’ll be offended that she couldn’t trust me with the information and I’ll be even more devastated that I could not account for her whereabouts while building .
But once she apologizes. I’ll help when and if I can and hope that such an occurrence will not happen

Meaning she doesn't trust her husband and the husband shouldn't trust her too....

If he has money he should secretly building a house or establish some businesses elsewhere without her notice simple...

Build your own as well

emmanuelewumi:




Na wife you marry no be slave


I don't see any big deal in this if she is making her own money and also contributing her own quota towards the running of the house

But Epa .. she's building it secretly oo

I will be happy

baralatie:

What happens as you leave
She become commissioner
Is it that time you will the lov

Whatsoever she becomes is non of my business.
For the fact that she hides things for me, I don't see that marriage working again.

Makamatic:


But Epa .. she's building it secretly oo

Do you know why she is doing it secretly. At least her children will inherit the property


The man should also build his own secretly.

emmanuelewumi:




Do you know why she is doing it secretly. At least her children will inherit the property


The man should also build his own secretly.

Ok sir

latiephwald:


Whatsoever she becomes is non of my business.
For the fact that she hides things for me, I don't see that marriage working again.

Yinmu

ZIMDRILL:


its a very complex issue, first of all
we need to know the dynamics in her marriage, remember a men can be the head of the house, but might be a poor person in creating a future for the kids

She is not sincere in the marriage, she is only doing this because most probably her husband have other children before marrying her. The only bad thing here is if she is sinfully syphoning monies from her husband to build the house and as soon as her house is ready she will probably quit the marriage.

Executive729:


She is not sincere in the marriage, she is only doing this because most probably her husband have other children before marrying her. The only bad thing here is if she is sinfully syphoning monies from her husband to build the house and as soon as her house is ready she will probably quit the marriage.

Siphoning monies from her husband
Really?
As in the wife siphon monies running into millions from the husband account?

No big deal but keeping it a secret is not good enough.

Naijabad:
What will you do if your wife is secretly building a house in her fathers compound.

Secretly marry another wife

emmanuelewumi:
Smart woman .


An average Nigerian man can't handle this type of woman. They want a consumer and not a producer, yet they will be complaining why they can't create generational wealth for their children and family.

You miss the point. The point is not about the gender of the party doing the building but the fact of non-disclosure to the other person,

zoedew:

You miss the point. The point is not about the gender of the party doing the building but the fact of non-disclosure to the other person,

Do you know the reason for the non disclosure?


The guy should build his own house and not disclose, tit for tat.


What most men don't know is that women play this marriage business better than men. It is usually more profitable for women.

So nothing should come as a surprise to any man


Na man dey love woman unconditionally, woman love conditionally. They only love what they are still getting from the man, when it stops the love stops

☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️

Maybe it's got to do with your cultural
background and your people..

In some places, if anything happens to
the husband, his people will come and
takeover any property that he and wife
developed and drive the kids away &
leave them homeless.

She is giving herself and children security,
so that she doesn't become homeless in
case of any unforeseen circumstances❗️❗️

Jewessgratitud3:
You people have come again with this secret house matter. For crying out loud, let the secret builders breeefffff.. it's their money they are using to build, not yours and every one has a right to how they use their money and what they use it for and do not owe any body papa any explanation; be you husband or wife. Haba!

As long as your Money is not in the equation, face front.

As long as the house is not posing a threat to you as the wife or husband, you have the right to face front!!!

As long as it doesn't make your spouse reduce their love and respect for you, 👉👉👉 ⏩⏩.

Let's stop making a mountain out of a molehill. Nothing there and if it bothers you, go and build your own!

This is why it's not a good idea to bring marriage matters to Nairalanders.
Even the unmarried go dey use you shine all in the name of advice.

When you marry, your mentality go change.

I Know one woman who has done such

emmanuelewumi:



Do you know the reason for the non disclosure?


The guy should build his own house and not disclose, tit for tat.


What most men don't know is that women play this marriage business better than men. It is usually more profitable for women.

So nothing should come as a surprise to any man


Na man dey love woman unconditionally, woman love conditionally. They only love what they are still getting from the man, when it stops the love stops

Even when you do what you can it can be shocking the bad things they say to the children about the man. My advise is for every man out there to have a close relationship with God. When you are done in by folks who should be there for you God will be more than enough for you! Also plan and save towards hiring a cook. These days women see cooking as laborious and men get pilloried for asking for a meal. Some men suffer hunger at the hands of their wives who do meals at the time it suits them!😭. A man in such situations must be careful to not get involved with other women in the bid to get to eat regular meals.

zoedew:

Even when you do what you can it can be shocking the bad things they say to the children about the man. My advise is for every man out there to have a close relationship with God. When you are done in by folks who should be there for you God will be more than enough for you! Also plan and save towards hiring a cook. These days women see cooking as laborious and men get pilloried for asking for a meal. Some men suffer hunger at the hands of their wives who do meals at the time it suits them!😭. A man in such situations must be careful to not get involved with other women in the bid to get to eat regular meals.

Okay ooooo. Are you married?


If you know what majority of God fearing husbands are suffering courtesy of their wives.

Men of God are not excluded from this.

nickyvil:


I don't have anything against her building a house secretly but I have a problem building it in her father's compound, first this is not a wise choice considering the future of her kids.

what do you mean considering the future of the kids?

if she wise enough to built a house there is a high chance to think of the future of the kids

The kids can benefit both from mum's side where the house is and from the family house (mum &daddy)

The only issue which needs clarity is that is the house in her children name or development done considering that the children have the right to be included in the share of the compound in the event grandpa and mum dies

I'll congratulate her. And focus on building our own house. She's got every right to build for her dad. He made her just like your dad made you

ZIMDRILL:


what do you mean considering the future of the kids?

if she wise enough to built a house there is a high chance to think of the future of the kids

The kids can benefit both from mum's side where the house is and from the family house (mum &daddy)

The only issue which needs clarity is that is the house in her children name or development done considering that the children have the right to be included in the share of the compound in the event grandpa and mum dies

Now you are asking the real question
The woman that is running from shark in laws on the husband side inorder to protect her children.
How safe is this approach if infact her own side are also shark in waiting

First let me clarity something's to you, first we are in Nigeria doing things in family house especially the female child is 50/50 chance, what if tomorrow there is a dispute on the said land after her father pass away, what if her sibling are not on the same page, we are having the same issues, my grandfather had so many properties which after his death, some of my Dad's siblings are not cool with the will which they contest. The case is in the court, my father had his properties away from his dads own and I have my own away from my dad, the house I build in our home town is simply a family house so to avoid family issues the best is to acquire your own properties and build, that is an investment for your kids but anything you build in your fathers house is a 50/50 unless if your father attest to giving you the land and before he died , you acquired the document for the landed properties if not its risky. I'm in support of her having her own properties but I'm not in support of her in her family house.

ZIMDRILL:


what do you mean considering the future of the kids?

if she wise enough to built a house there is a high chance to think of the future of the kids

The kids can benefit both from mum's side where the house is and from the family house (mum &daddy)

The only issue which needs clarity is that is the house in her children name or development done considering that the children have the right to be included in the share of the compound in the event grandpa and mum dies

nickyvil:
First let me clarity something's to you, first we are in Nigeria doing things in family house especially the female child is 50/50 chance, what if tomorrow there is a dispute on the said land after her father pass away, what if her sibling are not on the same page, we are having the same issues, my grandfather had so many properties which after his death, some of my Dad's siblings are not cool with the will which they contest. The case is in the court, my father had his properties away from his dads own and I have my own away from my dad, the house I build in our home town is simply a family house so to avoid family issues the best is to acquire your own properties and build, that is an investment for your kids but anything you build in your fathers house is a 50/50 unless if your father attest to giving you the land and before he died , you acquired the document for the landed properties if not its risky. I'm in support of her having her own properties but I'm not in support of her in her family house.

i understand all that, the fact that the women went to built a house in her father's compound, it means she doesnt see the dynamics that might came later

Then we also have to question the leadership of the house aka husband why the wife chose that route, roughly meaning their is lack of communication, future plans between the two. Or wife is reacting to something we dont know hence i responded that its complex becoz we dont know the dynamics in the house

Blackdisciple:
Meaning she doesn't trust her husband and the husband shouldn't trust her too....

If he has money he should secretly building a house or establish some businesses elsewhere without her notice simple...

thats one side of things, i agree

but the otherside is that she just helped to develop the compound of her father nothing more.

Yes we might question why she hide it from
hubby, to me its just a reflection of how are things in the house or someone poisoned her to hide it from hubby