What causes this and how do we stop this shameful act?

I think men have to realize that it's inexcusable to beat your wife - no matter what she does. There are other ways to resolve conflicts other than resorting to violence. The ability to beat up a woman is not a proof of manhood - it's just barbaric behaviour.

A man that beats his wife is a bastard.
I pray 4 every woman to have brothers to show the bastard what its like .
I will not even allow a slap.
well i slapped my husband once he slapped me back , i called his dad and sisters and told everyone about it. (i did not even feel the slap) but i claimed i did.
If he had slapped me hard that would have been the end.
My daughter dated a boy once they had just been 2 weeks together and he once told her he will "break a bottle on her head if she dances with another guy.
I made her break up with him (the fool had even gotten her expensive presant to say sorry).
But I warned her from the start then the signals are always there , she did not believe me calming i did not even know the boy . But what she had been Telling me was enough for me.

No one can claim they did not see it comming.

Well if my (future) wife slaps me I reserve the right to slap her back. Inasmuch as I do not support violence against women, this position is not intended to give women a monopoly on violence. I will also not accept that.

Seun:

Well if my (future) wife slaps me I reserve the right to slap her back. Inasmuch as I do not support violence against women, this position is not intended to give women a monopoly on violence. I will also not accept that.

I would think that a Man one slap every ten years don't you.

i mean a[b] Man [/b] can take one slap every ten years not that many A Be

Some women actually beat their husbands daily. How? They don't slap or punch them like sacks or puch bags, but they say the vilest of words to their husbands that sometimes the man may decide to commit suicide.

Some women have used their mouths to beat their husbands to the point where the man decides to quit coming home again.

In as much as I detest men beating their women, I think such case should be thoroughly investigated to know who fired the first missile, and why the man had to condescend so low as to beating up the woman! That's my view on this.

Ok, Ono, that's enough. A lot of men are also very nasty with the way they talk, and the way they routinely threaten violence, and the women don't beat them because of that. I have also personally experienced more nasty words and behaviours from the mouths of men than the mouths of women.

And even though some women have said nasty things to me, I have never slapped a woman - or a man. I have been slapped by a girl once - I was in JSS2.

So I have heard enough. Just make sure you tell your girlfriend how many times a month you will be beating her before you trick her into marriage. That's enough. You are still in the 18th century when women were considered as being just a step above children and slaves.

Seun, remember I attended Ijebu Grams. My Principal then, Mr Oluwole Kujore was the Principal of Mayflower School, Ikenne. IOGS is a boys only school. All through my JSS years, I received one beating or the other for some lousy offence from the senior boys. So, when I got to SS1, I thought I'll begin to do same to junior boys.

But, Mr. Kujore changed our orientation completely. It became an offence for anyone no matter how high or low in the school to beat anyone. Beating became the exclusive rights of teachers. Our Principal told us that it's only animals that men should beat. Not their fellow humans. All through my SSS years, I cannot remember any occasion where I beat up any junior boy.

I am happily married for your information, and I have told my wife that there's nothing she will do in this world that will make me raise my hands against her. I'm fortunate to have married a woman who knows and understands me.

I have lived in areas where the words from some women are really so nasty that the men just cannot bear to control themselves. They resort to beating up the woman.

At a stage, there was this woman who told my mum that: Is it not ordinary beating the husband will do to her, she will go ahead and do what displeases the man, she will put too much salt in his food, etc etc. Some women can be devilish, I know.

Ono you really believe that every woman deserves being beaten?
Well I was not rude nor was O doing anything to provike him.
I was constantly looking for ways to keep him happy and content.

Let me simplify what I am saying for you Ono. A man must not beat a woman even if he finds her in bed with another man. Are now you satisfied? If she put salt in your food, go and cook the food yourself. Afterall salt is not poison. And if she poisons you, report to the police. This is not the dark ages my brother. If my sister's or friend's husband says he wants to beat her because she did one thing or the other, he will see pepper no be small.

Well let me simplify it this way for you.


Go and get married.

Ono na which IOGS you go cos you no talk like an ogbonge member of our prestigeous JOGS family. Haba! How you go say because some women get razor mouth, that one be excuse to take beat them. You have a right to your opinion, I just dey disappointed say na my family member dey talk like this. Even if you find her in bed with another man, that one no be excuse.

Seun, even if the woman slaps you, its still no excuse for you to raise your fist and strike her back. Wetin you sef stand there dey look till the woman go woz you? Make I tell you wetin I learn growing up with my mum, Women's hands are so fast that Jackie Chan sef no fit dodge their slap. So if katakata burst and I see say mecury don dey rise no be say I go shoot my head forward; I give her some distance.

Ha Seun! How you go say if she poison me make I report to police, after I don die finish? Abi you never hear say "No be person wey moto jam dey write number." Wetin I dey look till she put poison for my food? E be like say you dey too tey for where smoke dey commot.

No woman deserves being beating. Beating a woman (be it your wife or any other woman out there) is a sign of weakness. As a man, you are supposed to have total control over yourself; you are supposed to be in control of whatever situation lead to that confrontation, When this is not the case in-security sets in and this leads to violence. You feel the only way to prove you are a man or you are in control is to abuse her physically. You don't gain respect that way, you are only ruling by fear.

Have you exploited all possible ways of resolving conflicts? As mamaput said, no one can claim they didn't see it coming. In that case, no one can claim it cannot be avoided.

Ono you mentioned the woman being devlish or "razor-mouthed". Was she not like thet before you married her? What are you doing to make her change? How come you cannot cope with her attitude any longer? And if she was not like that before marriage, what you have to investigate/address is the cause of the change and not the change. Maybe na the man turn her to "Osoronga" sef. If the cause of the change is identified and tackled, it saves you you all the hassles. Another thing I'll advice guys is that once arguement starts and it seem to be getting out of hand, you too get out of sight. Leave the house, let things cool off and make sure when you get back, all issues are resolved before you guys go to sleep. Never let the matter go un-resolved. If she is so bad-mouted or hot tempered and you get pushed to the wall, behave like a typical nigerian -make a hole in the wall and keep moving.

If at all you need to flex some muscles, go find Bash Alli or Mike Tyson rather than turning your wife into a punching-bag. Abusing a woman is simply not allowed.

My brother Kasali,
I no say make man dey beat woman. In fact if you read all my entries on divorce and this beating of a thing, me I no like am at all, at all. I even stated in one of my entries that it's better to stay away from a tongue-lashing and abusive woman. Stay away from her until she's her normal self. All that should make you understand that I'm not in support of men beating their wifes or men beating women.

You have a kind of balanced view on this one. Thank you.

On this marriage to an abusive woman, abeg, the thing pass me o. You need to visit the Divorce question and make an entry there.

Up JOGS!

i am against all men who beat their wives and i think that they are insane!!! if my husby ever beats me then i am gone for good!!
i aint no drum and either is any other woman if you want something to beat why not buy a drum instead of turning me into one,

Wimps, Stupid, Morons. That have nothing better to do. They are not real Men.

I think men who beat women are punks.How about they fight someone as strong as men they give people like me a bad rep.If you hit women i don't consider you a man.

ono:

My brother Kasali, I no say make man dey beat woman. ,

Up JOGS!

Up JOGS!

No vex o jare, Na sleep make me loose concentration. I hail una for warri o!

Domestic violence is wrong, where he is beating her or in the rare event that she is doing the beating(it happens).
Beating someone who is physically not as strong as you is a sign of weakness, and serious insecurities.
The signs are always there as a previous poster has said, and each time it gets worse,
But, never mind the bully doing the beating, what is that makes some women feel they deserve to be beaten? Or that it's proof that he loves them?!Even when they do it in front of the children?
I know all about the razor tongue/acid tongue, but you know what they say, "sticks and stones,, "
I think to stop it, the victim has to be willing first to speak up and let other people support them,  and then stand up to or/and  to walk away from the bully.

Note to the women: if you tolerate a husband that beats you, your sons will grow up to be wife-beaters. If you tolerate a domineering man, your boys will grow up to believe that women are inferior. Wouldn't that be sad?

Seun I agree with you, Its not just the boys, the girls too grow up with that in mind. I have these friends. The first -Biola, believes any guy she dates that does not beat her does not truly love her. She believes he is a weak guy. You must beat her -serious pounding o! I've seen some of these guys drag her on the floor b4. Thats what she likes. Nimiye -My other friend, will hand me a belt and expect me to flog her anytime she misbehaves. She talks a lot about how her any of her brother's girlfriends/wives who dare mess-up receives beating. I once asked her if she thinks its normal, and her reply shocked me, "Na so our papa dey beat us and our mum should any of us mess-up, he does not tolerate nonesense at all."

That's what you call being messed up by your father! Goodness!

Biola and Nimiye are not in their right senses.

Skidoc:

Biola and Nimiye are not in their right senses.

I don't quite agree, Its more about their up-bringing -as in their background. To us, women abuse is barbaric, to them, its ok as corrective measure.

Men who beat their wives do not worth their testicles!!!

rikkyjen:

Men who beat their wives do not worth their testicles!!!

CHINEKE!!

I read a qoute sometimes ago.'ONE SHOULD NEVER BEAT A WOMAN,NOT EVEN WITH A FLOWER!'
and I believe it.
Granted, some women could be impossible,'razor mouth'and all,but I still like to think a man that beats his wife is a brute(for want of a more acceptable word)

men who hit woman are devlish cowards
thatz all i can say

@kasali, your entry on Biola and Nimiye is really thought provoking. And how have you been coping with these friends of yours? I see they've developed thick skin for beating.

its silly for a man to beat his wife but believe mi i come from a polygamous home some women deserve it

husband who beats their wives are cowards,
-not real men, (shame shame shame)