They were in each other. . . . . as in ?

coogar:
an eye for an eye. . . .
get busy and "touch" your friend's wife too.

Ur response reminds me of my girlfrnd's, she alwys tels me, if she catches her man cheatin, she'l do same n trust me, she meant every word of it.

psquare --omo see danger danger wahala dey!!

Call a meeting of your friend and your wife to clarify issues (if u talk to your wife alone she might deny),afterwards let ur friends wife knw wats up.

I like emmatok's point of view and I have been giving thumbs-up for it.

What kind of woman goes to another man's house to sleep when she has disagreement with her husband?



She has the option of sleeping at friends' house, relatives' house etc.. Why did she go to your best friend's house?


Is it also a coincidence that she went there and they started playing with each other?

My advice is that you talk to her about it, get the truth from her and if you are happy with her answers and actions, forgive her and move on.

Sad story.If you love your wife and consider what her absent would cost the family then keep her but if not let her go.As for your so called friend forget about him.
danny1670@gmail.com

http:///GK6ZCX
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I have read the reponse to the OP's seek for advise and it seems most peeps are not married,you say forgive and forget,forgive and forget your wife's infidelity with a friend,it takes the grace of God oh,and those of you saying he should have gone to beg her to come back,so that each time their is an arguement she will live the house and be begged to come back abi.They were into each other on two diffrent occassions meaning he kisssed her,sucked her booobs,probably suucked her pu-ssy too and also finger phucked her,while on her side she probaly stroked and played with his pe-nis probably sucked it and moaned passionately on 2 diffrent occasions,what the OP meant by into each other is that they did everything except putting his pe-nis into her pusssy,if she was your wife what would u do? do you think that marriage can ever be the same again?can he erase this from his memory?can he trust her again?do you knw what it takes for a married woman to allow somebody else to smoooche her?And when it happened the fisrt time,she did not run home but she waited till it happened the second time,and it would have probably happened the third,fourth time and continously if family did not resolve it.My advise is this,you knw youself more,what you can take,can you still love and respect her,can you still make love to her like nothing happened? if you can then forgive but if you cant my brother its all up to you.Buy kitchen cabinet instead of paying a daughter's school fees,and leaving the house cos ur husband got angry and shouted on you,and away for about 30 days,ridiculous,like someobody said you dont have a good wife and i agree.

@OP,
from what i gathered in your story, your wife left your house for a friend's cos u were angry with her. **she and your friend have an eye for each other before then**

You went and picked your daughter and your friend dint dint persuade you to carry your wife. **this confirms point one above**

even if he did and maybe u fell deaf ears cos u were angry, he shld have drove her to ur house d next day or ask her to go stay with her aunt, parents or something, cos she is some1's wife. We are africans and we knw the traditions.

Then your wife had d impetus to stay there for more dan 28long days without missing neither her husband nor her DAUGHTER **She is far more promiscuse dan i tot** and also a proof that she enjoyed every bit of the hot romance that went on there.

she came back for two years and kept it away from you ** she is unrepentant and and there is possibility of repeat of events, if nt wit ur friend, wit sm oda guy.**

this are my view on how you should handle this matter.
1. Call your wife and talk with her about it, get all the facts you need from the story.

2. During the course of dialogue, critically analyse her attitude to observe if she is truely sorry for what she did. Dont confuse being sorry with bieng scared or ashamed.

3. If she is truely sori, den forgive her and keep your distance with that friend of yours, if she is not.. Hmm consult nairaland wolves, dey'l advice u beta.

4. After you must have forgiven her, consult a psychiatrist to help you recorver, because surely it must affect the way you see your wife, no matter the level of forgivness u .

5. Five and the most important, dont forget to keep us posted here! Cos i hate action films without part 2...

Women! Women !! Women !!! How many times did I call u people. why did I even get married chai? Last time my wife took of her clothes and left the house with the so call anger. She came back in the night begging and I opened door for her. She is claiming that she went o her friends place. Who knows if she went to my friends place and my friend touched her. Chai I dont die. Well as I am writing now, she is back in my house and had earlier deleted my phone number from her phone. I believe she has deleted her marriage to me. The part two of the whole film now is that I will be the one that will make the running in the next movie.
Bad women, una dey craze. Vagabons.

Story sounds fictional to me. More like the ops piece of imagination. It could even be an intending nollywood script( stories like this are not far-fetched). As such, the views and comments here may just serve to fuel the op's development of the story into something clearer and suitable for motion picture.

Ninapha: Something tells me the man is telling you this either because your wife is refusing his advances for another "being Into" now and he fears she might tell you or he is an agent of destruction. Because its not in his position to make such confession to u especially now your family is restored. Please avoid him like Egyptian plague. That your friend is wicked in all areas. After "touching" ur wife he now comes up to tell u. What a wicked man. Well you already have the knowledge, discuss it with your wife first. if she agrees to it then you are in the best position to decide your next action. Don't forgive because people said you should only to make your marriage more miserable. Search your heart and decides what makes you happy.

hmm

Nice point.

That friend is up to no good for that confession.

Maybe he his OKAFOR'S LAW is not working on your wife, so he deicide to blackmail her by telling you.

bhusayor:

Smh, so why is he the head of his house if he cannot put his house in place. So if u were in this poster's shoes, you'd have done the same.

I hope you don't intend to get married with this weak mentality of yours, cos before you know it, you'll be the 'wife' in your marriage.

SMH, i pity person wey go marry dis one.

Somone just told u dat his wife abandoned their matrimonial home willingly because of an arguement dat doesnt even have muscle, den he have to involve family to get her back which he said 'he hated' but have to do it as last option.. Would he have dragged her?

I love NL family section. So many mature and *cough* some funny heads here.
@OP. That ur friend is one silly backstabber! He didnt just slept with ur wife,he still had to come and tell you. Which silly conscience is troublin him? Does he not a pastor he can confess to if he must confess? I think you should cut all ties with him.
As for ur wife,if not for the sake of children that would bear the brunt of a broken home,i'd said you should send her out of ur home. But all the same you need to place her under thorough observation. If you see any obvious sign of continued infidelity,then send her away. She's beyond redemption. I dont think u should tell her anythin lest she run away. Let the knowledge you've give you power over her.

Hmm, that's why Smith & Wessons must open a franchise in Nigeria.

Be slow †☺ harsh decisions.Temper justice with mercy.

Reference: Hmm, that's why Smith & Wessons must open a franchise in Nigeria.

Oga, CAC no go allow them come here o. Its better they dont come cos we might just pull that ball due to a small rage. Oga poster, its hard to do, but forgive your wife. but am of the opinion that an eye for an eye is good. Make your friend feel the same pain you have felt. You know how to do it. Figure it out. Inflict that pain on him that he will look for tears and not see.

Maxidoe: I have read the reponse to the OP's seek for advise and it seems most peeps are not married,you say forgive and forget,forgive and forget your wife's infidelity with a friend,it takes the grace of God oh,and those of you saying he should have gone to beg her to come back,so that each time their is an arguement she will live the house and be begged to come back abi.They were into each other on two diffrent occassions meaning he kisssed her,sucked her booobs,probably suucked her pu-ssy too and also finger phucked her,while on her side she probaly stroked and played with his pe-nis probably sucked it and moaned passionately on 2 diffrent occasions,what the OP meant by into each other is that they did everything except putting his pe-nis into her pusssy,if she was your wife what would u do? do you think that marriage can ever be the same again?can he erase this from his memory?can he trust her again?do you knw what it takes for a married woman to allow somebody else to smoooche her?And when it happened the fisrt time,she did not run home but she waited till it happened the second time,and it would have probably happened the third,fourth time and continously if family did not resolve it.My advise is this,you knw youself more,what you can take,can you still love and respect her,can you still make love to her like nothing happened? if you can then forgive but if you cant my brother its all up to you.Buy kitchen cabinet instead of paying a daughter's school fees,and leaving the house cos ur husband got angry and shouted on you,and away for about 30 days,ridiculous,like someobody said you dont have a good wife and i agree.

Damn!!!

What goes on in that mind of yours?

Too much por.n.!!!

Sadly... ...dere mAy be more to dis story...
I want. To. Believe ur friend hasn't told u d main story.....
He definitely threw advances at her... Maybe she left d house when d advances were becoming too much to tolerate...
Maybe ur friend is playing defence by telling u first....
Maybe they did d act... Most women act best after dey've commited a sin.

Sad story and impending end...

Such a painful story but it happens to be true. The fact that your wife went to your friend's house to stay there means something, and the fact that she also stayed there for more than the expected hours not to talk of days and even weeks means another thing, that friend of yours is evil and your wife could be capable of doing an undo. I also blame you for the fact that your may have tried to satisfy your anger which your action which drove your wife to nuts. There are ways to solve issues like this. I encourage you to confront your wife and speak to her like you have never done before, I believe she will tell you the whole truth what transpire and learn how to forgive her because no one is perfect.

Some great advices,some really odd ones! We'd be married a yr before all these happenend,and back then she was really a piece of work! But over time we'v been better,believe me we'r so cool this days and she's more of a woman now than the girl in the hey days,ok she went to my friend's cos we'r like family,known him for 17yrs..but seriously even if he had to house her,HE SHOULDN'T have gone that far! Friends stand by each other! They don't tear you apart..i'd talk to her tomorrow after work,when my kid leaves for her holidays..xx Thanks u all

cowgurl: Ur response reminds me of my girlfrnd's, she alwys tels me, if she catches a man cheatin, she'l do same n trust me, she means every word of it.

that's the way it should be.
the poster is seeking for help on nairaland and wasting time.
by now, i would have called his wife - tell her what her hubby did to my wife.

Op the three of u are wrong. expeciacially u and ur wife.
As for ur friend who is so dump to have kept a married woman for 4weeks in his home without reconciling her with her husband is not a good friend.
after two good years he came to confess, of what use is this confession apart from tearing ur family apart. he should have kept his confession to himself and God and ask him for forgivness if it borthers him.
Well, ask ur wife if she is sincere abt it u will know and forgive her cos if it's u she'l forgive u. Also, to forgive is devine.

dare2think:

Damn!!!

What goes on in that mind of yours?

Too much por.n.!!!

You need to grow up,i just wanted people asking for forgiveness to understand what pobably transpired and unfortunately for you all you could dicipher is porn,the hypocrisy of nigerians knows no bound,pretence,holier than thou attitude,nothing wrong in what wrote,supposed to e for 18 and above,lets not derail the thread.

Jay Alex: Some great advices,some really odd ones! We'd be married a yr before all these happenend,and back then she was really a piece of work! But over time we'v been better,believe me we'r so cool this days and she's more of a woman now than the girl in the hey days,ok she went to my friend's cos we'r like family,known him for 17yrs..but seriously even if he had to house her,HE SHOULDN'T have gone that far! Friends stand by each other! They don't tear you apart..i'd talk to her tomorrow after work,when my kid leaves for her holidays..xx Thanks u all

What planet are you from.

You are still trusting friends at this age? Seriously!!!

Every human being is selfish and they show it at every opportunity.

Since your wife has improved, just calmly discuss the issue with her, then watch her reaction.

Beync: Op the three of u are wrong. expeciacially u and ur wife.
As for ur friend who is so dump to have kept a married woman for 4weeks in his home without reconciling her with her husband is not a good friend.
after two good years he came to confess, of what use is this confession apart from tearing ur family apart. he should have kept his confession to himself and God and ask him for forgivness if it borthers him.
Well, ask ur wife if she is sincere abt it u will know and forgive her cos if it's u she'l forgive u. Also, to forgive is devine.

i do not blame the friend from confessing - it's the most logical thing to do.
if the wife had confessed first, how do you think the husband would see his friend?
in naija - whoever reports first is the innocent party.

ifyalways: Your friend is pathetic,what or why exactly did his "revelation" do for him or you?What a foooolish home wrecker.which type of friend would even accept and keep a married pals wife in his home for weeks when she was not running from domestic violence

OP,for all u know,this might not be true.You know the woman you married but if you have doubts then casually talk about it with her.

With firends like this who needs any enemy?

This is the kind of reply you get from a prospective pathological cheating wife. Yes you! Let me tell you something guys and the author of the this post, women, most women inherently when it comes to cheating, will never say the truth even when you catch them in the act. They never admit to cheating. Guys admit to cheating and most instances are propelled to speak out but women, their heart is very mindless when it comes to cheating.

Thank your friend and that's a good friend. The question you ought to be asking yourself, why did your friend break the silence before your wife? She got separated from you for some months, when you needed her the most(had surgery and she was letting your friend touch her; tells me she is heartless in my judgement)and when it dawned on her that she couldn't find a guy like you, you came back running back to you (back-up husband), typical cheating woman. Only needs you for security and if she find another guy like you, she will bail with him.

I will advise you not to confront her but afford some time to see if she would confess on her own and if after 3-6 months she didn't say anything to you about this, then I pretty sure you have a devil's incarnate living with you and you have no business living with a spouse who is a liar and dishonest. What's the essence of having a wife or a husband he or she doesn't tell you the truth? Better being single in my mind!

Wat sort of frend wuld do such?..he touchd ur nd confesd 2 u...wat does he realy want u do,2 snd ur wife parkin? 2 hav ur wife as his?or 2 destroy ur mariage?...dear u realy nid 2 sit down nd tink,knw wat ur wife is upto nd luk into de eyes of ur frend 2 knw de fact abut dat

Ol boythat person you call your friend is a bad friend. What was his motive for coming to tell u? After messing around he came to tell you so you can kick her out. So he can take her in and continue from where he stopped? He might even be lying! Talk to your wife and let her know.

Danka7777:


I will advise you not to confront her but afford some time to see if she would confess on her own and if after 3-6 months she didn't say anything to you about this, then I pretty sure you have a devil's incarnate living with you and you have no business living with a spouse who is a liar and dishonest.

If after 2 whole years she's said nothing is it this new deadline of yours she'll own up? Someone that prefers kitchen cabinet to paying her daughter's fees?
She didn't leave after the first episode. A second also happened & it took family members to get her back home for an argument that wasn't even supposed to take her outside her room? To me, this is either a movie story or the OP should know there were clear intentions from onset in this his story!

@OP, just b4 the operation, were u sexually viable?
If yes, then your wife needs to be divorced, even the Bible permits divorce of an adulterous wife.
If no, take it that u were temporarily unable to provide what she wants (nd might no be able to live without) nd she stupidly went to get it elsewhere; forgive her.

@poster,from what I can deduce from ur story,either of these things happened:
1. Ur friend has truly repented,and is obeying God.
2. Ur friend wants ur wife,and doesn't want ur family to be happy.
3. Ur friend wants u to know the kind of woman u married,he wants u to be cautious,and watch ur back,cos she may still be cheating.
I would advise u to consider all options carefully b4 taking a step.