kobikwelu: personally, a man should be responsible for major expenses in the house....major renovations, major car parts change, feeding for the month..while a woman should be responsible for the petty stuff, such as clothes for the kids, minor home assessories etc...that does not mean the lady should not contribute when more is needed of her...

sunky-show:
Hello wonderful people, There's something i stil have not understand especially when it comes to "financial responsibilities" of a relationship or the family altogether.
my wife argues: A wife SHOULD NOT have any financial commitment in the relationship/family ONLY IF SHE VOLUNTARILY WILL., then she can contribute. BUT NOT MANDATORY!

my own agruement: I believe d husband should take about 70% of d financial responsibilities while his wife should assist 30% of it due to d economic situation of country. since d husband and d wife are working.

I hope everyone understands my point here? howeva i believe nobody knws it all.
Am willing to hear ur take on it.
Thanks n cheers

spyder880: Pardon my dissenting voice but I think a responsible man should look at the marriage with an eye of total responsibility for ALL financial expenses in the house, very hard but possible, while the wife takes care of every other thing that does not involve bringing in money. The responsible man should note that this is his God assigned obligation and should not shy away from it.

He also has a responsibility to respect his wife and kids, care for them and provide ALL succor for their upkeep. Buy the clothes, the surprise gifts, the eat outs and any other thing necessary for the family happiness.
He should build a house for them, even if its a manual intensive mud hut that he can afford to build, or rent a house and pay the bills. He should pay the school fees of all kids and even train the wife in school if she has educational deficiencies. (if he cannot, he should have as few kids as he can cater for)

The man should feed his children and wife, cmon, what respect will I have if I cannot ensure my wife and children are well fed and happy? I will work till I drop just to make them happy, if the worse comes to worse, even barrow pushing is not excluded from what I will do to make sure I live up to my manly obligations which I stated for myself in my teens.
The man should ensure security, plan ahead for everyone and make sure he is a role model for which the wife and children are proud of.

If you think the marriage is about the man alone, you are wrong. The woman has very heavy burdens placed on them by nature, so should not be bothered with making money for the husband. Pregnancy, child care, house care, etc. The woman should be strong and active to make the house work perfectly, providing a clean surrounding in the home.
She should clean, wash, scrub and arrange all items in the house. She should cook, store, preserve and act as accountant general of the home, spending domestic budgets with utmost wisdom, arranging all purchases of food and other household items while the husband will have more time to make the money.

All the points I mentioned for the woman notwithstanding, she should provide one vital ingredient in the home, PEACE. A ready smile, a listening ear and a pillar of support for the husband. Make sure he longs to return home everyday, make sure you prepare and launch him out to go out next day for his business/work with a smile on his face, recharge his emotional battery, give him the confidence he needs to believe in himself continually.

I cannot bear the thought of my wife working under someone else, who in this world can shout on my wife or make her work harder than I will want for her, for how much sef? How about those her soft smooth hands getting hurt while she is trying to make money, how much sef? I swore to care for her, why should she care for me.

Sometimes the men are lazy, (not all men) and I have seen cases where men marry for the money which the wife can make. Men should start from their teen years to prepare for marriage, save enough because this is one expensive venture that will last forever. Build your house even before you marry, make plans for a happy home as long as 10 years before marriage. Marry a wife to treasure, not to work for you.

An exception to this is where the women has itchy fingers to work, well, she can work but make sure it is not for the money, just for the fun of getting up and going to work to mix with others as she is not in prison.

dayokanu: If I as the man pick all the bill in the house then what is the womans stake in the house?

How is she better than a piece of furniture that just occupy space?

If he pick all the bills then he has a right to do as he want in the house without being questioned. Just like the chairs and table cant question the owner.

If he come into the house even with lipstick stains all over his body and you ask him, He would simply reply, Its those lipsticks on his shirt that feed house and clothe your lazy arse since you contribute nada to it.

Even contributing to your own childrens school fees, upkeep etc.

I can never have anything to do with any woman with such mentality

spyder880: Pardon my dissenting voice but I think a responsible man should look at the marriage with an eye of total responsibility for ALL financial expenses in the house, very hard but possible, while the wife takes care of every other thing that does not involve bringing in money. The responsible man should note that this is his God assigned obligation and should not shy away from it.

He also has a responsibility to respect his wife and kids, care for them and provide ALL succor for their upkeep. Buy the clothes, the surprise gifts, the eat outs and any other thing necessary for the family happiness.
He should build a house for them, even if its a manual intensive mud hut that he can afford to build, or rent a house and pay the bills. He should pay the school fees of all kids and even train the wife in school if she has educational deficiencies. (if he cannot, he should have as few kids as he can cater for)

The man should feed his children and wife, cmon, what respect will I have if I cannot ensure my wife and children are well fed and happy? I will work till I drop just to make them happy, if the worse comes to worse, even barrow pushing is not excluded from what I will do to make sure I live up to my manly obligations which I stated for myself in my teens.
The man should ensure security, plan ahead for everyone and make sure he is a role model for which the wife and children are proud of.

If you think the marriage is about the man alone, you are wrong. The woman has very heavy burdens placed on them by nature, so should not be bothered with making money for the husband. Pregnancy, child care, house care, etc. The woman should be strong and active to make the house work perfectly, providing a clean surrounding in the home.
She should clean, wash, scrub and arrange all items in the house. She should cook, store, preserve and act as accountant general of the home, spending domestic budgets with utmost wisdom, arranging all purchases of food and other household items while the husband will have more time to make the money.

All the points I mentioned for the woman notwithstanding, she should provide one vital ingredient in the home, PEACE. A ready smile, a listening ear and a pillar of support for the husband. Make sure he longs to return home everyday, make sure you prepare and launch him out to go out next day for his business/work with a smile on his face, recharge his emotional battery, give him the confidence he needs to believe in himself continually.

I cannot bear the thought of my wife working under someone else, who in this world can shout on my wife or make her work harder than I will want for her, for how much sef? How about those her soft smooth hands getting hurt while she is trying to make money, how much sef? I swore to care for her, why should she care for me.

Sometimes the men are lazy, (not all men) and I have seen cases where men marry for the money which the wife can make. Men should start from their teen years to prepare for marriage, save enough because this is one expensive venture that will last forever. Build your house even before you marry, make plans for a happy home as long as 10 years before marriage. Marry a wife to treasure, not to work for you.

An exception to this is where the women has itchy fingers to work, well, she can work but make sure it is not for the money, just for the fun of getting up and going to work to mix with others as she is not in prison.

Wislet: that is why i like u. A real man there.
Wish we'll have more sensible men like you.
A woman shouldn't work because she HAS TO help the man with finances. How could she have that burden with all the other roles nature naturally bestows on her?
Her contributing financially to the home should be something she does out of pleasure...something she consciously decides to do because she wants to....because she wants to make use of her degree, And NOT because she is OBLIGATED to help you the man(who should be the provider for your home!).
May laziness not overtake the men of this generation.
And someone said 50/50.
50/50? Then what is your role as a 'man?'.
The man that said this(if he meant that) should cover his face for shame .

spyder880: Pardon my dissenting voice but I think a responsible man should look at the marriage with an eye of total responsibility for ALL financial expenses in the house, very hard but possible, while the wife takes care of every other thing that does not involve bringing in money. The responsible man should note that this is his God assigned obligation and should not shy away from it.

He also has a responsibility to respect his wife and kids, care for them and provide ALL succor for their upkeep. Buy the clothes, the surprise gifts, the eat outs and any other thing necessary for the family happiness.
He should build a house for them, even if its a manual intensive mud hut that he can afford to build, or rent a house and pay the bills. He should pay the school fees of all kids and even train the wife in school if she has educational deficiencies. (if he cannot, he should have as few kids as he can cater for)

The man should feed his children and wife, cmon, what respect will I have if I cannot ensure my wife and children are well fed and happy? I will work till I drop just to make them happy, if the worse comes to worse, even barrow pushing is not excluded from what I will do to make sure I live up to my manly obligations which I stated for myself in my teens.
The man should ensure security, plan ahead for everyone and make sure he is a role model for which the wife and children are proud of.

If you think the marriage is about the man alone, you are wrong. The woman has very heavy burdens placed on them by nature, so should not be bothered with making money for the husband. Pregnancy, child care, house care, etc. The woman should be strong and active to make the house work perfectly, providing a clean surrounding in the home.
She should clean, wash, scrub and arrange all items in the house. She should cook, store, preserve and act as accountant general of the home, spending domestic budgets with utmost wisdom, arranging all purchases of food and other household items while the husband will have more time to make the money.

All the points I mentioned for the woman notwithstanding, she should provide one vital ingredient in the home, PEACE. A ready smile, a listening ear and a pillar of support for the husband. Make sure he longs to return home everyday, make sure you prepare and launch him out to go out next day for his business/work with a smile on his face, recharge his emotional battery, give him the confidence he needs to believe in himself continually.

I cannot bear the thought of my wife working under someone else, who in this world can shout on my wife or make her work harder than I will want for her, for how much sef? How about those her soft smooth hands getting hurt while she is trying to make money, how much sef? I swore to care for her, why should she care for me.

Sometimes the men are lazy, (not all men) and I have seen cases where men marry for the money which the wife can make. Men should start from their teen years to prepare for marriage, save enough because this is one expensive venture that will last forever. Build your house even before you marry, make plans for a happy home as long as 10 years before marriage. Marry a wife to treasure, not to work for you.

An exception to this is where the women has itchy fingers to work, well, she can work but make sure it is not for the money, just for the fun of getting up and going to work to mix with others as she is not in prison.

WhyAWhy: ^^^ really?

She doesn't make babies all her life

She's not a stay at home mum- we got house help

Things have moved on. Realistically a lot of men don't even make enough to solely pack all the family responsibilities. Not many people have a dangote or adenuga as a hubby. Typically there is the average baba taju or the average civil servant

spyder880: Pardon my dissenting voice but I think a responsible man should look at the marriage with an eye of total responsibility for ALL financial expenses in the house, very hard but possible, while the wife takes care of every other thing that does not involve bringing in money. The responsible man should note that this is his God assigned obligation and should not shy away from it.

He also has a responsibility to respect his wife and kids, care for them and provide ALL succor for their upkeep. Buy the clothes, the surprise gifts, the eat outs and any other thing necessary for the family happiness.
He should build a house for them, even if its a manual intensive mud hut that he can afford to build, or rent a house and pay the bills. He should pay the school fees of all kids and even train the wife in school if she has educational deficiencies. (if he cannot, he should have as few kids as he can cater for)

The man should feed his children and wife, cmon, what respect will I have if I cannot ensure my wife and children are well fed and happy? I will work till I drop just to make them happy, if the worse comes to worse, even barrow pushing is not excluded from what I will do to make sure I live up to my manly obligations which I stated for myself in my teens.
The man should ensure security, plan ahead for everyone and make sure he is a role model for which the wife and children are proud of.

If you think the marriage is about the man alone, you are wrong. The woman has very heavy burdens placed on them by nature, so should not be bothered with making money for the husband. Pregnancy, child care, house care, etc. The woman should be strong and active to make the house work perfectly, providing a clean surrounding in the home.
She should clean, wash, scrub and arrange all items in the house. She should cook, store, preserve and act as accountant general of the home, spending domestic budgets with utmost wisdom, arranging all purchases of food and other household items while the husband will have more time to make the money.

All the points I mentioned for the woman notwithstanding, she should provide one vital ingredient in the home, PEACE. A ready smile, a listening ear and a pillar of support for the husband. Make sure he longs to return home everyday, make sure you prepare and launch him out to go out next day for his business/work with a smile on his face, recharge his emotional battery, give him the confidence he needs to believe in himself continually.

I cannot bear the thought of my wife working under someone else, who in this world can shout on my wife or make her work harder than I will want for her, for how much sef? How about those her soft smooth hands getting hurt while she is trying to make money, how much sef? I swore to care for her, why should she care for me.

Sometimes the men are lazy, (not all men) and I have seen cases where men marry for the money which the wife can make. Men should start from their teen years to prepare for marriage, save enough because this is one expensive venture that will last forever. Build your house even before you marry, make plans for a happy home as long as 10 years before marriage. Marry a wife to treasure, not to work for you.

An exception to this is where the women has itchy fingers to work, well, she can work but make sure it is not for the money, just for the fun of getting up and going to work to mix with others as she is not in prison.

Ujujoan:

It's funny how you think a woman's 'stake' can ONLY be fnancial in nature . . .

sexywifey: @poster, dude, please read your Bible. You will understand that it is your duty to fund your home 100% (failure to do so makes you worse than an slowpoke). Your wife may contribute if she wants to, but it is not mandatory for her to! What is 70:30 sef? Is that how you share her own house chores in that manner? Abeg, grow some muscles and provide for your family irrespective of whether your wife ontributes to it or not.

Proverbs 31:10-31
King James Version (KJV)

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates

Ujujoan:

I agree with you. Realistically, men need financial support from their wives. But I want it to be understood that it's a 'support', not a responsibility!

spyder880: Pardon my dissenting voice but I think a responsible man should look at the marriage with an eye of total responsibility for ALL financial expenses in the house, very hard but possible, while the wife takes care of every other thing that does not involve bringing in money. The responsible man should note that this is his God assigned obligation and should not shy away from it.

He also has a responsibility to respect his wife and kids, care for them and provide ALL succor for their upkeep. Buy the clothes, the surprise gifts, the eat outs and any other thing necessary for the family happiness.
He should build a house for them, even if its a manual intensive mud hut that he can afford to build, or rent a house and pay the bills. He should pay the school fees of all kids and even train the wife in school if she has educational deficiencies. (if he cannot, he should have as few kids as he can cater for)

The man should feed his children and wife, cmon, what respect will I have if I cannot ensure my wife and children are well fed and happy? I will work till I drop just to make them happy, if the worse comes to worse, even barrow pushing is not excluded from what I will do to make sure I live up to my manly obligations which I stated for myself in my teens.
The man should ensure security, plan ahead for everyone and make sure he is a role model for which the wife and children are proud of.

If you think the marriage is about the man alone, you are wrong. The woman has very heavy burdens placed on them by nature, so should not be bothered with making money for the husband. Pregnancy, child care, house care, etc. The woman should be strong and active to make the house work perfectly, providing a clean surrounding in the home.
She should clean, wash, scrub and arrange all items in the house. She should cook, store, preserve and act as accountant general of the home, spending domestic budgets with utmost wisdom, arranging all purchases of food and other household items while the husband will have more time to make the money.

All the points I mentioned for the woman notwithstanding, she should provide one vital ingredient in the home, PEACE. A ready smile, a listening ear and a pillar of support for the husband. Make sure he longs to return home everyday, make sure you prepare and launch him out to go out next day for his business/work with a smile on his face, recharge his emotional battery, give him the confidence he needs to believe in himself continually.

I cannot bear the thought of my wife working under someone else, who in this world can shout on my wife or make her work harder than I will want for her, for how much sef? How about those her soft smooth hands getting hurt while she is trying to make money, how much sef? I swore to care for her, why should she care for me.

Sometimes the men are lazy, (not all men) and I have seen cases where men marry for the money which the wife can make. Men should start from their teen years to prepare for marriage, save enough because this is one expensive venture that will last forever. Build your house even before you marry, make plans for a happy home as long as 10 years before marriage. Marry a wife to treasure, not to work for you.

An exception to this is where the women has itchy fingers to work, well, she can work but make sure it is not for the money, just for the fun of getting up and going to work to mix with others as she is not in prison.

ronkebp: If a woman loves her family dearly, she would be willing to contribute whatever she has for the financial growth of that family, irrespective of the rule, 50-50, 80-20 or whatever. And same goes for the man, if he truely loves his home, wife and children, he will do whatever and spend whatever, irrespective of the ratio involved. It is when love is not enough that we start to see loopholes and dents.

dayokanu:

I know you are saying this to seduce me. So i no gree.

Wetin you bring come from Naija? Or you think say I no go knw say you travel? Iya Mukaila said she saw you at Bodija

Nashville:

Well, we have heard people like you talk as if you hold the world in your hands. Do you know what it means to have a family and planning for the future? People like you just talk based on traditional beliefs without real understanding about life. I have seen man guys who probably had a good job/business tell their wives to stop working only for them to loose their sources of income one way or another. Loosing your source of income could be through retrenchment, business losses, sickness or even death. What happens to the wife and kids in that case.

Young people be wise, I am talking to you from the perspective of an investment adviser. Plan your future wisely, both spouses should generate income if possible. I used the phrase "generate income". It helps alot. You do not know tomorrow, you can be doing so well today and you think you have it all figured out, but you cannot predict the next ten years unless you are alredy a billionaire. Its not about ego or being macho, it is about being wise. Both man and wife need to know how to make and manage money. It should not be only the man's responsibility. What if something happens to him? And something can be anything.

An acquintance of mine died receptly. He was about 40 years old and the sole breadwinner of the family. Someone made a comment that his children are economic orphans. I initially corrected the person that the kids have a mum. But the person said, the wife died in an economic sense 10 years ago when she stopped working. Think about that!

spyder880:

The world in my hands? Naa, nobody can claim to know tomorrow, even the next minute is unpredictable. But one thing is certain in life, that running a family will always be expensive, but with advance preparation of your finances and emotions, you can make it seem easy. Your inference that I talk with only traditional beliefs and no real understanding of life is very wrong. What I say today is what I was telling friends when I was 19, today I am in my late 30s, married for 9 years of flawless relationship devoid of misunderstandings. 4 lovely kids and a wife that respects me. I respect her also.

A real man should be aware that things can change, and without warning sef, but your job is to make sure you are ready for the change. As an investment adviser, what do you really tell your clients? Have you ever heard of stocks of shares in good companies bought in your wife and kids names, cheap land investments in their name now that things are rosy, don't you tell your clients about residual income from rents that outlives the man that invested in them? The will should take care your family inherit your possessions and not suffer when you are gone. Death? it will come when it will, but only a stupid man will not make plans about what happens after he is gone.

The only point I like in your write up is about both couple learning how to manage money, very necessary for every woman. Some women are experts with funds, those that are always ready to spend should please think of investing first.