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Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by sandrahot(f): 3:14am On Nov 12, 2012
FlowerPower:

Sandra I am very well traveled, so I am aware that there is a world outside of the US. However the US is my home. As for my friend, who by the way is not my partner, he is a proud Nigerian man. He loves his country, but he also knows that he can make more money with his education in the US. Is Nigeria's economy more stable than the US? Are jobs more plentiful in Nigeria? undecided The man is using common sense. Many of my Nigerian associates want to return home one day, but they have no desire to go home until they have made their fortune here. Dangote is an exception and not the norm. Let's not be so harsh on each other sister. Now if I based my opinion of Nigerian women on what other people say, I would think that they were all ruthless golddiggers. Since I personally know some very wonderful Nigerian women, I know this isn't true. I still think you should consider giving him a chance. He is quite the catch. Pitter Patter away.


I did say I was walking away, but.... Your opinion of Nigerian women whatever that is is your prerogative (I'm unsure how that was inserted here). My comment stated before is based on my perception of condescension in your description of your friend and what I have noticed from reading posts & discussions by American ladies (some of) and not some conjectural information distilled from others that I have to balance with people I know. He does not have to be your partner to afford him some respect. Anyways I am not interested in him winknor have anything against you and I hope I don't come across like I do smiley. Feel free to continue to describe your friends as you deem fit while they cook and stuff. I know I get the best from my man and friends because I treat and talk good about them. Cheers!
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by GoldenLady1: 4:11am On Nov 12, 2012
Oh gosh, another one of these threads that seems to have diminished into an argument.
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by Nobody: 4:18am On Nov 12, 2012
I will judge her as an individual and see if our views click.
E.g if she feels it is belittling to cook for her man, we have nothing in common!.... etc.
One thing for sure though, the wedding will be less expensive. Thank God for that. undecided
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by Nobody: 8:02am On Nov 12, 2012
Golden Lady: Oh gosh, another one of these threads that seems to have diminished into an argument.

I think it's a healthy discussion. Ms. Sandra's feathers seem a bit ruffled because of some things she has read here on Nairaland (or maybe some American woman usurped her beau). I don't think she knows many American women offline, because if she did, I think her opinion would be quite different. As for me, I still stand by what I said before. I will gladly date a Nigerian man, but marrying one is not for me.

Regardless of our online banter, Ms. Sandra "abeg, no vex." You are still cool with me. kiss
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by MrsChima(f): 10:57am On Nov 12, 2012
It is good for people to keep it real without being ignorant and people need not to wear their emotions on sleeves in chat....as long as you live there would always be harsh and truthful things said.
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by Nobody: 5:22pm On Nov 12, 2012
Mrs.Chima:
It is good for people to keep it real without being ignorant and people need not to wear their emotions on sleeves in chat....as long as you live there would always be harsh and truthful things said.

AMEN!
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by Nobody: 12:15am On Dec 19, 2012
I am half AA.
But honestly I don't really date AA men like that. TBH, I feel the AA bloodline in my family will end with me. tongue

I prefer foreign guys. I don't know if it's the way I was raised or what, but
for some reason I just can't "click" with AA guys - at least not the ones I've met.

Again, they are my ppl so there's no hate. But dating wise...I don't think so. undecided
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by cklass(f): 3:00am On Dec 19, 2012
*Kails*:
I am half AA.
But honestly I don't really date AA men like that. TBH, I feel the AA bloodline in my family will end with me. tongue

I prefer foreign guys. I don't know if it's the way I was raised or what, but
for some reason I just can't "click" with AA guys - at least not the ones I've met.

Again, they are my ppl so there's no hate. But dating wise...I don't think so. undecided


undecided undecided
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by SAFO(m): 3:15am On Dec 19, 2012
tpia1: i think if the AA man has spent some time outside of his country- preferably in nigeria, there might be some kind of common ground between him and a nigerian woman?

if he hasnt, its rather risky but never say never.

btw, all the half Nigerian half AA males- who are they marrying? Fellow Americans?

I married an AA woman but that's mainly because I spent most of my adult years In America whereas my childhood years were in Nigeria . Had it been the other way round, I probably would have married a nice Nigerian girl. I think it just has to do with the environment your surrounded by.
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by MrsChima(f): 3:46am On Dec 19, 2012
SAFO:

I married an AA woman but that's mainly because I spent most of my adult years In America whereas my childhood years were in Nigeria . Had it been the other way round, I probably would have married a nice Nigerian girl. I think it just has to do with the environment your surrounded by.

There are people who marry folks simply because they love them and not make excuses why they marry them.

If my husband was from Mars....I would marry him still
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by birdman(m): 4:41am On Dec 19, 2012
obo_man: marry/date anyone you like, as long as you happy.................


Happiness is all that matters, you only live once....... My experience with an African-American might be different from yours. Also bear in mind that we are all different, and should be treated individually, not as a group....



Love and happiness should be number 1, where they come from should be relegated to dustbin.

what makes you happy at 25 is not the same as at 45. Little wonder divorce rate is 50% and rising. I personally have no issues marrying an AA, as long as we are both open minded enough to embrace each other's cultures willingly.

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Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by SAFO(m): 4:54am On Dec 19, 2012
Mrs.Chima:


There are people who marry folks simply because they love them and not make excuses why they marry them.

If my husband was from Mars....I would marry him still

I think you missed my point. When you're surrounded by one demographic as opposed to another one, chances are that you will associate/mingle more with that certain demographic. So there's more of a likelihood that you will fall in love with someone from said demographic.

It's not like I'm saying I married my wife because she's AA, that would be ridiculous.
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by stantob(m): 7:09am On Dec 19, 2012
Mrs.Chima:


Scammer!!!!! What makes him a scammer,because he said the truth of what he needs.Dreams are different,wake up and stop calling people names about their own views and needs.
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by MrsChima(f): 4:49pm On Dec 19, 2012
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by MrsChima(f): 4:50pm On Dec 19, 2012
SAFO:

I think you missed my point. When you're surrounded by one demographic as opposed to another one, chances are that you will associate/mingle more with that certain demographic. So there's more of a likelihood that you will fall in love with someone from said demographic.

It's not like I'm saying I married my wife because she's AA, that would be ridiculous.

I got ur point. I still say love has no rules.
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by Nobody: 6:11pm On Dec 19, 2012
My mom was born in the U.S., raised around African Americans, so when she found the right guy, she married him. I'm half african american and half nigerian and for the most part the guys I've had relationships with have been African American. Other than a few arrogant ones undecided I have absolutely no complaints.
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by ektbear: 6:14pm On Dec 19, 2012
Sure. Most of the black women I've dated have been African American. I don't have a problem dating or marrying one, so long as she is "in tune" with African culture (or is willing to learn rapidly).

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Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by Nobody: 8:16pm On Dec 19, 2012
birdman:

what makes you happy at 25 is not the same as at 45. Little wonder divorce rate is 50% and rising. I personally have no issues marrying an AA, as long as we are both open minded enough to embrace each other's cultures willingly.

and that's my main thing. i find foreign guys, being of foreign backgrounds themselves, are more willing to learn about my mother's culture than AA guys (that I have met).
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by Goop: 8:38pm On Dec 19, 2012
I guess I could date a foreign girl seriously(I suppose you all mean non-Afr'am blacks), as long as my cultural background is acknowledged and respected, as I've noticed from speaking to non-Afr'am blacks, that they tend to be just as blissfully ignorant of Afr'am history & culture as they claim Afr'ams are to their's.

In fact many of them will simply assume that Afr'ams don't even have our own distinct culture(music, cusinine, dance, folk tales, ceremonies etc.) or that simply American pop/urban culture = Afr'am culture, which couldn't be further from the truth. American pop/urban culture takes bits and pieces from Afr'am culture(mostly new age) NOT the other way around. But all, not even most, aspects of Afr'am culture are necessarily mainstream, nor is most of it based in "urbacenters", seeing as Afr'am culture is largely rooted in rural traditions of the US south, and fairly recently moved and evolved in big urbacenter(NYC,CHI,L.A., etc etc) with the great migration of Afr'am people to large metropolitan areas.

And that's just the tip of the ice berg, as I could go on for days.. But, I suppose it's easier to just buy into pervasive dogma about Afr'ams and who we are instead. undecided

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Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by MrsChima(f): 10:44pm On Dec 19, 2012
ekt_bear: Sure. Most of the black women I've dated have been African American. I don't have a problem dating or marrying one, so long as she is "in tune" with African culture (or is willing to learn rapidly).

What is African culture? You meant Nigerian culture?
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by MrsChima(f): 10:48pm On Dec 19, 2012
Goop....my friend said she like the shortcut Aframs.

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Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by Goop: 7:58am On Dec 20, 2012
Mrs.Chima:
Goop....my friend said she like the shortcut Aframs.

ahaha....Tell her thanks abunch. I wish I could take credit for it, but the term, as far as I know, is at least as old as the traditional annual Afr'am Fest held in Norfolk, VA which has been going strong for more than 30 years. It is a cool lil' abbreviation, though. It sounds more "ethnic" than typing out the compound noun "African-American" all the time. lol
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by ektbear: 2:20pm On Dec 20, 2012
Mrs.Chima:


What is African culture? You meant Nigerian culture?

Hrm...I guess by "in tune with African culture", I mean understand that I may someday want to return to Nigeria and would be ok with possibly living there. That I'm going to give my kids Yoruba names. That women I date need to be able to put it down in the kitchen.

That I am slightly paternalistic, but more in an old-fashioned sense, not in an offensive and demeaning way.

Things like that.
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by 401kk: 4:11pm On Dec 20, 2012
FlowerPower: Also the way women are treated is apalling (to me).

So because they're not over-pampered cinderellas like american women, they being treated unfairly? Right?
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by MrsChima(f): 8:15pm On Dec 20, 2012
ekt_bear:

Hrm...I guess by "in tune with African culture", I mean understand that I may someday want to return to Nigeria and would be ok with possibly living there. That I'm going to give my kids Yoruba names. That women I date need to be able to put it down in the kitchen.

That I am slightly paternalistic, but more in an old-fashioned sense, not in an offensive and demeaning way.

Things like that.

Cool. My kids has Igbo names. And I wouldn't mind living in African as a retiree. Just get the open mind ones and that don't care. Go for the ethnic kind....you will be okay.
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by MrsChima(f): 8:20pm On Dec 20, 2012
Goop:

ahaha....Tell her thanks abunch. I wish I could take credit for it, but the term, as far as I know, is at least as old as the traditional annual Afr'am Fest held in Norfolk, VA which has been going strong for more than 30 years. It is a cool lil' abbreviation, though. It sounds more "ethnic" than typing out the compound noun "African-American" all the time. lol

Lol. It's cute. Now if I get cussed out saying afram I will come for you! tongue
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by ektbear: 8:28pm On Dec 20, 2012
Mrs.Chima:


Cool. My kids has Igbo names. And I wouldn't mind living in African as a retiree. Just get the open mind ones and that don't care. Go for the ethnic kind....you will be okay.

Yep. It isn't like I am asking for the world. So it usually isn't hard for me to meet AA women I'm compatible with.
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by Goop: 8:41pm On Dec 20, 2012
Mrs.Chima:


Lol. It's cute. Now if I get cussed out saying afram I will come for you! tongue

Don't sweat..... Goop gotcha covered! lol

B'sides, if folks from the continent can shorthand with "Naija ", "9ja", "Zimbo", "Etho" and expect folks to know what they're talkin' about, then I think we Afr'ams are well known enough for people recognized the name and know the game. No need for formal introductions. wink
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by khiaa(f): 1:43pm On Mar 15, 2013
KINGwax: we undstnd. Nigerian men won't stand their wife having a boyfriend and talking to her friends abt their escapades. You knw? We will see it as immoral if u break wit us and consider it normal marryin his friend. Nigerian men won't allow u go all your way and claim rights of a woman. And hey i forgot...divorce! Most popular trend in the US!

Nigerian Men will not stand for their wives having affairs with other men but it is ok for Nigerian men to sexx every LovePeddler in town, come on, you people need to stop being hypocrites. Some of you are so backwards you still believe a woman place is in the kitchen, and a woman should be seen and not heard. Stop treating your women like you treat your children. Women , if your husbands are abusing you and using the bible as an excuse for you not to dump their sorry beninds always remember God loves you and would not want you to be abused and mistreated. Divorce him if that is the only option.
God do not want you suffering and being unloved.
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by MrsChima(f): 3:13pm On Mar 15, 2013
Aaaaameeeeeennnnnn!
Re: Are You Open To Dating Or Marrying An African American Man Or Woman ? by Nobody: 7:40pm On Mar 15, 2013
FlowerPower: I know the questions is for Nigerians, but I'm African American. I would date a Nigerian, but I just don't think I could marry one. The ones who did not grow up in the US or UK, are far different, even when they have been educated abroad. Sometimes I just blink and stare at the things my Nigerian friends say. Also the way women are treated is apalling (to me). There are a few other things, but I don't want to say, because I don't want to make anyone feel insulted.

hey flower power pls say more reasons , I'm really interested in knowing more reasons why an AA girl wouldn't want to marry a Nigerian guy. thanks

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