As I said, only the truth can solve the problem.

I know that divorce is not the first option, but the last resort.

The husband should be able to defend his wife for life.

They have their life to live.

If possible, they should relocate to a place where the in-laws cannot come to disturb them.

I have seen horrible and terrible things many in-laws or out-laws have done to matrimonial homes.

The fact is, a man can call the shots and keep the hounds at bay.

If the man is afraid of the family and relations, then it is a pity.

It is always good to investigate the family and relations before marriage.
The Igbos do that before even the introduction.

When you want to marry in Africa, please investigate the family background of your partner.
Check out whether there are lunatic fringe elements among the members of the immediate or extended family.

Everybody deserves peace of mind.

@ Orikinla
I'm sorry oh but I have a question. You keep saying "they should". . . Who, where and What is this they? Don't you see, she is ALONE in this. Is not when two people are on the same wavelength "THEY" can do something together? The only THEY I can see here is her husband and his family.

I'm sorry but my sister getting hypertension, needing surgery all because of a man's family wahala is a no no for me. For what reason? Why are we making this a life or death issue? Must someone die in marriage before we can say they loved? If that is the case, TO HELL with love, marriage and the whole shebang , I say.


@ OP
You are absolutely right, this is not your marriage alone, why should you have to carry the load mean for 2? If he isn't ready, abeg let it be the back of your head he sees from yonder as you go buh-bye. Seriously, He's out there having his fun, enjoying his life and being happy and you are expected to what. . . Sit around in limbo waiting for him to come to his senses. . . that's if there is even any sense to come back to.

[B]I'll repeat, life is too freaking short to keep twisting yourself into a pretzel, trying to please a man who by all account, couldn't care less about you.[/b]

Haba!

eyaaaaaaaaaaaa
we have to follow what d bible tells us. divorce is not biblical and we should not think about it not to talk of doing it.my prayer is that God will help you in time of distress(AMEN)

What you need to do is sit that hubby of yours down and those witches you call your inlaws and maybe a good pastor, lay all the issues on the table and let everyone say what they feel, come to an agreement, if things dont change, Make your move.

sister if you still have trouble solving this problem alone try have some one clse by who can have more personal and closer counselling with you.if you dont mind you can contact me on 08034386765 so that we will have to fight it 2gether in spirit.Bible says if 1 chases 1000, 2 shall chase 10000.maybe you need some one closeby to fight the ba2 together.
SHLOM,
IT IS WELL

tope2000:
I really think you need to sit your husband down and tell him how you feel and stop taking NONSENSE from your husband and inlaws, be confrontational, be bold because i think its time you speak up and say how you feel about the whole thing. The lord will be your strength.

...are u givin her advice or u r repeating her ordeal? So which one has she nt done frm ur write up...mtchewwwww

deejnr:
dont even know what to title this as - i wrote a while back about the issues i have with my inlaws; well things havent changed - the only difference is my sister in laws have become worse in their attitude to me but discreet about it hence only displaying it to me not my husband; and the other aspect is that my mother in law who used to be nice has become ''different'' to put it lightly.
I am a typical christian nigerian lady with strong views on divorce. I believe in making my marriage work and God knows i have tried to the best of my knowledge.
My home is more or less a house to me now, my husband more like a flatmate and as it stands, we have sex rather than make love.
I have prayed, cried, communicated, gone thru counselling and have reached the point where 'm not interested in communicating, nor praying nor crying nor hoping for a change.
My husband still says he loves me, i have not seen any evidence or have course to believe he cheats - but i feel like 'm been treated like a slave, like an outsider by his family and he doesnt see any thing wrong in their actions but rather says i complain too much and that 'm not tolerant.
I can only say he's been disrespectful to me in front of his family just as his family have been disrespectful to me in his front.
I am not a confrontational person; and every issue i have i speak to him on - but i've lost interest in the marriage, i've lost the will to make it work, and i guess 'm just buying time till 'm strong enough to walk and never look back.
I'm not sure what the future holds especially as our son is (only turned 2 yr few wks back) involved in this marriage that'll be 4 yrs by sept.
I dont know why 'm posting here either as 'm pretty sure a divorce is imminent though not sure my husband sees that coming. I guess 'm still seeking advise to be sure that 've tried all options without a solution before making a life changing decision

Play some Jim Revese song, I reckon that will help to relieve some of ur pain