Hey, my first time of writing something on here, and I would love other Nigerians opinions especially the ones outside Nigeria.
I have been dating white men most of my life, and I have been with one for a while now. I have always been attracted to white men, and I'm a Nigerian girl. I just wonder what you people think of this?My family are not very supportive of this though, and i wonder why this is more of a problem for them than seeing me being happy.
Shouldn't they be happy for me regardless of who I fall in love with?
Does the skin color matter so much? To me it doesn't really matter because I believe we re all the same inside.

Whats your opinion on black/white relationships, if anyone has gone through that road and just your general thoughts. Thanks

a couple of years ago i would have called you a 'sell out'. not anymore.
i guess i know better now.

its even hard for parents to support  interethnic marriage talk more of black/white mariage.  to me personally, i wont end up with the white. if ur parent aint supportive of the union well u may forget about the marriage or continue on your own without their consent. its ur life n not theirs.

It is your choice. Nothing wrong with that. I know some white girls who would do anything to get a black man for keeps not just a fuckbuddy

a reverse case of jungle fever or what?

@ topic some people  still frown at ur kind of situation and some don't really care

its a free world ( haaaaaaaa the beauty of free-will) you are allowed to love, date and marry whomever jare!

even amongst people  from the same tribe in Nigeria , some parents still discriminate ,don't mind your parents by the time you start giving them fine! fine! grandbabies they will come around!.

@ ikamefa, Your post is funny and nice. Thanks for that. I reckon they will eventually come around if they realise how happy he makes me

I have always been attracted to white men, and I'm a Nigerian girl

for any specific reason?

ive always been sympathetic to people living outside the cities in foreign countries they have very little options  

nothing wrong as long as it's for the right reason

Sasha009:

@ ikamefa, Your post is funny and nice. Thanks for that. I reckon they will eventually come around if they realise how happy he makes me

@ dis guy,

No don't feel sympathy for me , I live in the city, There re a few africans around, im just more into "the white" I guess. Its not my fault

ikamefa:

a reverse case of jungle fever or what?

@ topic some people still frown at ur kind of situation and some don't really care

its a free world ( haaaaaaaa the beauty of free-will) you are allowed to love, date and marry whomever jare!

even amongst people from the same tribe in Nigeria , some parents still discriminate ,don't mind your parents by the time you start giving them fine! fine! grandbabies they will come around!.

Well said, couldn't have said it any better, all the best sha,

Sasha009:

@ dis guy,

No don't feel sympathy for me , I live in the city, There re a few africans around, im just more into "the white" I guess. Its not my fault

not ur fault, na ur fifth, guess its nature's fault abi

Hey Sasha,
There is nothing wrong with dating ppl from different races(i've done it myself), The real issue is with the motives.

Some Naija women date white guys b'cos they are less stressful, more compliant, and generally take more bullshit (my observation based on mixed race couples i know). Hell, i even know one chick whose white BF carries her handbag and follows her around like a puppy.

Other Naija babes date white guys due to frustration with black dudes after being messed around so many times, and believe a white dud will generally treat u better.

Some Naija guys date white chicks b'cos they are less stressful and less argumentative than Naija chicks and they generally take more nonsense b'cos of their compliant nature (again, my observation based on experience).

The question is: Why do you find White dudes attractive enough to date?
It is important to know why you do anything. It may be based on the exposure you had when young (school,or first boyfriend, or your upbringing, or just your location growing up).

You say the skin colour does not matter, but you have always been attracted to white dudes, so it obviously does matter to you.
It MUST matter - as its a big, obvious, unchangeable part of the person, and therefore cannot be inconsequential in the decision you always seem to take.
Also we are not the same inside, due to upbringing, values, exposure, principles, culture etc. It may be that you find the "White" culture more appealing than the African culture (nothing really wrong with this)

You should endeavour to find out why you find white guys attractive, and when you know why, then you can start the journey to convince your family about the integrity of your decisions and why they should accept it.

@sasha
Have u ever been attracted to a black man before? If not then you are just like a person who prefers slim men to chubby men, it's a choice thing so it's not your fault, it's your taste, nature and environment that's dictating for u, With or without your parents, you're the only person who's going to live the rest of your life with whoever you feel attracted to, so go on with your choice.

I just wonder what you people think of this?

I dont really see why people's opinions matter in this instance?

@ blacky, don't be mean, be nice. I only asked for opinions , not backslapping. Anyone can choose to date whoever they want or like.

I dont really see why people's opinions matter in this instance? Huh
@typiah

Havent i said it all? You need to read my post again, its just something you are interested in others about. Isnt that why they created these kinds of forums??
Naija people, be nice

@honeric 01

Yes my first boyfriend was nigerian, and i dated another after that. But since then, I have been more into white. Maybe the environment sorts of dictates, I really dont know, but THANKS for your advice

Sasha009:

I dont really see why people's opinions matter in this instance? Huh
@typiah

Havent i said it all? You need to read my post again, its just something you are interested in others about. Isnt that why they created these kinds of forums??
Naija people, be nice

well, you know the majority will bash both you and your partner.

Well since u've dated 2 black men before, I guess it has to do with what you get from the whites that the black men aren't giving that's dictating here and also maybe the limited availability of black men in your environment is responsible to the trend. Or am I wrong?

@ romeo4real, wow, your answer has been so far the most impressive. You put it all together very well. Thanks for that. I understand the reasons behind why some blacks date white, but this is not my motive at all. I have been treated well with my ex nigerian boyfriend, and we didnt really have any issue, but i just find that I seem to get very well along with the white a lot when we date. Not that I use them for my own selfish purpose, no.

why do i find white dudes attractive enough to date? Not all of them are attractive enough to date, its not because of the looks. a lot of nigerian guys re very cute too, it has nothing to do with looks. being attracted to something is not because you think they re the most attractive person? you understand. Its just something you prefer or like

skin color dont matter to me because im black, and I date white. im not against black skin color, cause im black, lol. so obviously im not against my black brothers. does that answer your question?

to be honest I dont know why I find myself more into white, but thats just the way it is, and I cant change that. I just wish my family wil be more accepting

@ honeric,

I dont think its the scarcity of the black guys around here thats causing it. If i think of an ex now, if i go back to nigeria tomorrow and stay for a couple of weeks, I dont think id feel the urge to cheat, or the need to want to leave my white bf. I see blacks around, maybe not a lot, but I still have strong feelings for my white bf, so maybe its not an issue of scarcity of whites

@sasha009

I understand the way you feel, do whatever makes you happy and try to find all means to convince your parents about the way you feel about each other and please try not to lay emphasis on the fact that you are always attracted to white man, that statement can complicate issues for you, black or white we are all human and if your parents keep on refusing then probe further so as to know the real reason for their refusal.

@sasha
You skipped my other question, anyways I still think the environment dictates to you too, if you live in a black environment, I don't think you'll feel that white urge like you feel it now, All the same, it's fate and your nature that's involved now,
Conclusively I would like you to iron out what you get or enjoy from white men that your 2 black men couldn't offer you, that's a start to how to convince your parents in accepting your choice of Man.

honeric01:

@sasha
You skipped my other question, anyways I still think the environment dictates to you too, if you live in a black environment, I don't think you'll feel that white urge like you feel it now, All the same, it's fate and your nature that's involved now,
Conclusively I would like you to iron out what you get or enjoy from white men that your 2 black men couldn't offer you, that's a start to how to convince your parents in accepting your choice of Man.

good idea n suggestion

@ Sasha - Glad to be of help.

skin color dont matter to me because im black, and I date white. im not against black skin color, cause im black, lol. so obviously im not against my black brothers. does that answer your question

I didnt mean to infer you were against dating ur black brothers. As you have pointed out, you have dated 2 Naija dudes b4. What i meant was there IS a reason you find white men attractive - even if u dont know it.
I dont think its b'cos they are white not. It is rather something that is associated with the the color of their skin (culture, demeanour and attitude, perhaps), or something that YOU have associated with the color of their skin(I hope u understand what i mean)

I live in the city, There re a few Africans around, im just more into "the white" I guess.

I infer from this that though there are "few Africans around", that is not the real reason - I'm sure you will agree with that.

You also say "Its just something you prefer or like" and "that's just the way it is, and I cant change that"
No one is asking you to change it - at least i believe that's the general consensus so far.
But it is important for you to know why. Nothing is "just" the way it is, and there is a reason for everything - even if you dont know it yet, it may be buried deep within your subconsciousness.

Either way, it does not change the overall picture.
You should be with whoever you choose to be with, irrespective of colour, race or creed, subject to them treating you as you deserve. The challenge is to get ur family to accept your decisions on this issue, as that seems important to you. If u dont understand why, then how can you explain it to them( they will be sure to ask why)

To be honest, methinks thou dost protest too much - When you bring the right man home, and they see how he treats you, they will come around. Just give them some time.

@Didi-t
Don't blame the parents. They come from a different time and era, when ignorance was king.
Eventually, their daughters happiness will supercede all prejudices. They just need to see the evidence that her choice is good for her.

@romeo4real.

Growing up, I was reading a lot of mills and boons. I have to admit however maybe this is a reason underlying the fact that I have grown to be more attracted to white men. Not all white men re nice, there re the good and the bad ones as well. This is the only reason I could think of. I have always been, since i was little attracted to white men. I used to tell my sister that I could one day marry a white but they would laugh at me thinking I was just joking

@ honeric01,
you re funny
I don't know anything that I enjoy from white men that my black bro's haven't given me. lol

This is my first time replying to a post.@ poster I believe that if you are happy with someone, that is where you belong. Nevertheless I find it strange that, given what you said, if you have both a black and a white man that treat you equally nice you would still prefer the white. In other words, it means that a black man should do more to get your attention and that is usually the sign that you are not totally fair.

When I was just a kid (around 10), I used to dream about women with long flowing hair (not necessarily white but with distinct traits) but, having an African mother I noticed in my teen years that I always went after African women with traditional values and that has never changed. I now realise that even unconsciously (TV, peer groups) we seem to interiorize certain ideas/concepts. I wish you the very best anyway and hope that I could be of a little help.

@humbleboy. Thanks for your help

If i see a black man and a white guy who treat me equally nice, I would honestly go for the one I'm more attracted to, regardless of the skin color. There would be something that strikes me more in one of them to make me choose them.
No, a black man doesnt have to do more or make more efforts to get my attention. I guess growing up, I have always found myself more into white men. So maybe this is the reason, it gew intensely as I got older and moved overseas

Personally I got no problem with having a white partner. . .And yes I can date a white guy if I'm attracted to him.

I personally dont have a problem if a black woman have a white partner however i HATE to see a black man with a white woman especially when he acts as if she is his greatest achievement