thank gawd say I get witness.

Dani was trying to to teach his son the evils of alcohol.
He put a worm in a glass of water & another in a glass of
whiskey.

The worm in the water lived while the one in the whiskey
curled up & died.

"All right, son," Said Dani, "what does that show you?"

"Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol you will not
have worms."

u try benard!

Mary goes up to Father Ibotus after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible! Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, " he did, Father, "
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, "He said, "Please, Mary, put down that damn gun, ""

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new holes.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5- days and if it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, it's biology. When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology.

Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
A: Lady: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.

Q: Girl friend & boy friend went for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
A: The boy friend's hand.

Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front".

u try

;d ;d

;d ;d ;d

;d ;d ;d ;d

[size=13pt]A young boy was asked by his Sunday school teacher, why was Jesus crucified?

The boy answered because Jesus went to Egypt without visa!! You know the Egyptians don’t like Jews [/size]

Anne put an advertisement in the 'classifieds' : Husband Wanted.

Next day Anne received hundreds of letters. They all said the same thing : You can have mine.

'God,' inquired Adam, 'Why did you make Eve so beautiful?'

'So you would love her.'

'But why did you make her so dumb?'

'So she would love you.'

A passer-by watched two hausa men in a garden. One was digging holes and the other was immediately filling them in again.

'Tell me, 'said the passer-by, 'What on earth are you doing?' 

'Well, 'said the digger, 'Usually there are three of us. I dig, Musa plants and Adamu fills in the hole.

Today Musa is away unwell, but that doesn't mean Adamu and I have to take the day off, does it?'

:d :d :d :d :d error

A phone rings in the house a little girl picks it up

"Hello" she says

"Hi honey, this is daddy. Is mommy near the phone?" a voice on the other end answers

"No daddy she is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul." The little girl quipped

"After a brief pause daddy says "but honey u haven't got an Uncle Paul!"

"Oh yes I do and he is upstairs in the room with mommy right now."

Brief pause "uh okay then, this is what I want u to do put the phone down on the table, run upstairs knock on the bedroom door and shout to mommy daddy's car just pulled in the driveway."

"Ok daddy just a minute."

A while later the little girl comes back to the phone, "done it daddy."

"What happened honey?"

"Well mommy got scared jumped out of bed naked, ran round the room screaming, tripped over and knocked her head on the dresser now she isn’t moving at all."

"What about Uncle Paul?" asked Dad.

"He jumped out the window into the swimming pool but I guess he didn't know you emptied the water last week. He hit the bottom and I think he's dead." Really long pause this time.

Now confused, Daddy says "What swimming pool? Is this 486- 5731?"

"No this is 486-5713."

Sorry its a wrong number

awww poor adulterer ;d

Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something.

His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir. He asks her what it is. She says, "it's a donut."

Then Little Johnny says, "give me fifty cents."

Johnny gives her the used condom, and his sister gives him 50 cents. He goes to the kitchen with a big smile on his face, and his mom asks him why he's smiling.

He says, "My sister gave me fifty cents for a donut, but I already licked out all the custard!

A house help was working for her boss and madam.
The boss always eye on the house help until one day the madam travelled.

So the boss slept with the girl and says to her after sex  "Nkechi you re so sweet"

The house help replied saying "yes oga i am sweet even the gate man says i am sweet"

lol are you the house hlep?

;d ;d ;d :d

:d

na so e dey happen for all the evil doers

see who dey talk

abeg clear enter gutter all the evil doers no go see me back

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Ada, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Ada," replied the teacher.

She then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!"

Then, the teacher called on little Rommie.

"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, fucking beautiful!'"

;d

na so so error sylve do dey type