Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? - Culture - Nairaland
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| Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by bebrief(m): 10:54am On Nov 16, 2009 |
What's this with Nigerian women in high places especially from the south-east that they decide to bear their father's name alongside their husband's: Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Ndi Okereke-Onyiuke etc, What for  It's simply unnecessary!!!We have the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel; US Secretary of State (past and present): Condoleezza Rice and Hilary Clinton, to mention a few. They are still who they are bearing their husbands name, I'm sick of all this!!! Someone please help! |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Tcharged: 10:59am On Nov 16, 2009 |
What is in a name??  1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by bebrief(m): 11:04am On Nov 16, 2009 |
A woman has to bear her husband's name as a sign of submission in marriage. Simple. |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Tcharged: 11:12am On Nov 16, 2009 |
bebrief: I am happy you state its 'a sign of submission'. Real submission has nothing to do with names. People have moved on since the time of Adam and Eve, please let the ladies be. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Nobody: 11:19am On Nov 16, 2009 |
hmmm |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by bebrief(m): 11:34am On Nov 16, 2009 |
T-charged: I can assure you, those that have MOVED ON don't do that!!! By the way, where have we (Nigeria) moved to |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Tcharged: 11:44am On Nov 16, 2009 |
bebrief: I do not argue for or against ladies retaining their father's name, please do not get me wrong. My argument is that it does not matter one way or the other. Nigeria has moved on in the terms that so many enlightened people have accepted that it does not matter whose name you bear. Nigeria has also moved in various ways in terms of people and attitude, I am shocked you have not noticed. Ladies are now more expressive, know what they want and go for it unlike what obtained decades ago. I will choose a caring wife who chooses to retain her father's name over an uncaring one who decides to adopt my name. My choice. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by zugoboss(m): 12:02pm On Nov 16, 2009 |
@Op,Condoleeza Rice has never married,Rice is her father's name.The trend is more common in the west than here in Nigeria. |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by lovemoi2(f): 12:04pm On Nov 16, 2009 |
when you marry your village wife she will bear your name and submit to you backward minded  2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by bebrief(m): 12:12pm On Nov 16, 2009 |
zugoboss: True, pardon the mention of 'Condoleezza Rice'. Moreover, I was not talking about unmarried ladies/women. There are a million and one of them, respected and highly placed women who still have the dignity in bearing their husband's name. Who told you the trend is more common in the west? Don't be deceived. |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by bebrief(m): 12:22pm On Nov 16, 2009 |
lovemoi2: Bearing your husband's name or any other name for that matter is not synonymous with submission, loyalty, fidelity or any of these. It's a sign of submission and respect for your husband!!! It's a pity you think bearing your husband's name is backward minded. By the way, are you married? If you are not and maybe you're nursing the idea of bearing your father's name alongside your husband's, good luck! Maybe you can consider bearing your father's name alone. Why add you husband's name? I guess that's more FORWARD!!! Nonsense. |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by hbabe(f): 12:39pm On Nov 16, 2009 |
Submission Dictionary meaning: The act of accepting that somebody has defeated you and that you must obey them.When there is love there is no need for submission. I will love whoever I marry and try to reach the best decisions with him but agreeing sheepishly to all his decisions is not for me. I have a brain that I like to use too. As for names it depends on what my husband's name sounds like, it it is something funny and unpronounceable I will stick with my fathers. I am not into compound names but it is not a big deal. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by bebrief(m): 12:57pm On Nov 16, 2009 |
hbabe: If you are a Christian, turn to Ephesians 5:22 (KJV): "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord'' Don't try divine wisdom with human understanding. |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by hbabe(f): 1:33pm On Nov 16, 2009 |
I am a christian and further down in your quotation it says,'husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church'. How many men are doing that? How many men are even CAPABLE of doing that? This is not religion section I could have argued this out with you. But remember that Christ loves the church even when she is not perfect. Lets stop this digression and return to the topic, OP. I will not pick up any funny sounding and unprounceable names and drop my Dad's sweet sounding and beautiful name.  I also do not like compound names.3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by bebrief(m): 1:46pm On Nov 16, 2009 |
hbabe: Good for you. At least you now know wives should submit to their husbands. By the way, why should a good husband not love his own wife? And why should a good wife not respect and submit to her husband by bearing his name? If you do otherwise, you're abnormal. Simple. |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Obelomo: 5:39pm On Nov 16, 2009 |
Bebrief for long Hilary been known as Hilary Rodam Clinton! Many women want to bring their fadas name up, plus their husbands our not the ones who suffered to send them to school. For example, a lot of women getting divorced and some of their ex- husbands get angry for keeping their surname. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by londoner: 5:49pm On Nov 16, 2009 |
Seems to me they are honoring the two most important men in their lives, whats the big deal? I plan to keep my fathers name and add on my husbands name. Seems to me that it between myself and the man I marry. My father had only girls and was worried that his name would fade away because of that, so I have promised myself that I would keep the name. Even in the Bible, a man's name dying through lack of a male child was a big deal and they went to much greater lengths than I am prepared to to stop that from happening. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by FBS: 1:23pm On Nov 17, 2009 |
It's a matter of choice, innit? 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Ben13: 1:24pm On Nov 17, 2009 |
@topic It's not true. |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Busta(f): 1:25pm On Nov 17, 2009 |
I am not sure but I know in the west . . . it takes a whole lot of hassle to officially change your name. secondly . . . depends of who. Some people just love to stick to their parents name. No harm in that. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Pharoh: 1:26pm On Nov 17, 2009 |
If her reasons are genuine she can take up her fathers name or a compound name but if it is for selfish reasons then she is just laying a foundation for an unhappy marriage in most cases. |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Pharoh: 1:28pm On Nov 17, 2009 |
Busta: If there is no harm in that then what surname will the children bear then? |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by beknown(m): 1:29pm On Nov 17, 2009 |
That is because the man agreed and allowed it. Generally, women bear their husband's name after marriage. However, some men do not mind for their wife to answer any name of her choice. I hope it is not for selfish reason. I think it is better for a uniform name for the whole family - wife, husband and children. If the wife answer a different name from her husband, what name will their children answer? People should use common sense in these things rather than introduce confusion unnecessarily. |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by THEAMAKA3(f): 1:29pm On Nov 17, 2009 |
maybe its a culture thing!!! sheesh, what is your problem? so the west is not doing it, so we must drop it as well? this poster has gone mad if thats the point he is trying to make. |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Raimond(m): 1:31pm On Nov 17, 2009 |
I beleive when a woman leaves her parents,to cleave to a man in marriage,she should be ready let that reflect even in the name,no matter her level of exposure,or even if she`s royalty.I don`t think it`s about being backward in thinking/reasoning.Fine i accept that times have changed,but the truth remains:a woman has no business using her father`s name after marriage,it`s a slap on the husbands face,if she is not ready to drop the name,she might as well stay at home! |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by otukpo(f): 1:31pm On Nov 17, 2009 |
londoner: Cant u see that maintaining ur father's name after marriage has not solved the problem u hav in mind cos the name wld still die one day. Ur children ar not going to bear ur father's name so the the name dies with u. By the way, what's there in name keeping a name, it is never going to taake any dead person to any eternity. Your future generation may decide to change the name. So whats all the fuss abt? |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Pharoh: 1:35pm On Nov 17, 2009 |
otukpo: Some ladies are obviously missing the point really and kudos for you as a lady for saying this. |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by THEAMAKA3(f): 1:35pm On Nov 17, 2009 |
when will people stop comparing everything to the "west" na wa ooooooo everything the west does, now people will then look at their own as being somewhat "wrong" or that it needs to be changed to be "more like the west" well at least that seems like what the poster is saying. THE LAST NAME IS THERE!! THE TWO OF THEM ARE THERE. isnt the last name that comes last the husband's? anyway allow them to keep their names, whats the problem? if they are combining the two and your own is last, ITS TECHNICALLY THERE, so i dont see the wahala. |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Busta(f): 1:35pm On Nov 17, 2009 |
Pharoh: as far as know, if the two are married . . . the kids usually takes the father's name. On rare occasion though u see them take and hyphenate both dad and mum's name like Zahara Jolie-Pitt. |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by agathamari(f): 1:38pm On Nov 17, 2009 |
in the "west" this is fairly common. look at most married movie stars and singers. they kept thier maiden names as do many poloticians. some hypenate the names. some choose names that have nothing to do with either of them. hell one of my cousins gave her first son our grandfathers last name (like an earlier poster he had only girls and both he and his father were only children and didnt want the name to die). who cares about SOMEONE ELSE name? is it your wife? no? then who cares let them be. next are you gonna bitch about what someone else gave thier child as a first name? (oh wait, my bad we already have a few of those topics here) 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by madamL(f): 1:40pm On Nov 17, 2009 |
There is always a genuine reason for keeping the father's name after marriage. A real change of name and notification and adaptation is far more bigger a task than publishing it in the newspapers. Some simply let things be and find a space for both surnames to minimise stress of explanation Again one of the hard things after marriage is you getting used to a brand new surname. It was hard for me in that I worked at a job then where I needed to write my name repeatededly everyday. I will start off with papa's name and then cancel it and write the new name. Strange, but the names don't really fully change. My old school mates and I have never gotten used to the new names and still address each other with good old papa's surname. Does it really bother men? |
| Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by phuckNL: 1:43pm On Nov 17, 2009 |
If you do not want to change your name, then why get married. Abeg it comes with the package. If you want to marry me, you will have to accept my name. What nonsense. If you like your fathers name so much, please stay in your fathers house. |
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