This is common where a girl from a known family marries into a less popular family.
@Poster you are soo wrong to have said it is more common with Igbos, you really need to research properly before making a public statement like this. what is the percentage of Igbos to other ethnic groups that change their names completely after marriage? What is the source of your statistical data?
Please be informed that this thread comprise people from different walks of life and may consequently be better informed in such issues than you.

Of people, change and customs. Both sides of the divide have their respective merits I must say; while we have the trend common with celebrities and the noveau rich we hardly hear of public declaration by wives who being married from poor homes demand for a side-by-side father's name existence with their husbands,b] It begs the question: Is father's name rentention solely 4 a class, considering we are in the 21st century! Or we have folks from the other divide who do it but for whom public relevance of their right to father name allegiance is but a wish?

Besides with modern trends I fear that some men would for their convenience create similar scenario to fall in line with modernity. [b]who is saying we wouldn't have men who'd rather decide against wearing symbolically their marriage ring as a sign of the times[sub]in their desire to froilick with mamacitas?. [b]My fear is where the middleground will be in the near future. Women marrying and remaining in their father's house apparently is not very distant, who would say marriage as a tradition we have come to know would be what it is today. Something tells me the stake will get higher and people will continually define 'it' as they see convenient. Perhaps very societal, more evolve than we know today. To each his own.

Some times it's for a reason, now take a look at this.
Recently in my paternal family there was complete darkness at noon, what happened? My uncle had two children, a girl 23yrs. and a boy 22yrs (these were his only children). Just two weeks ago he lost this his only son at just 22yrs and a final year electrical engineering student in the University to a very brief illness of 3days. R.I.P Joe, and may perpetual light forever shine on you.
Now he is left with and only child and a female. If she and her husband now decides that as an only child she should bear a compound name, being her surname and her husbands name, that to me is perfectly OK.

lexandra:

Some times it's for a reason, now take a look at this.
Recently in my paternal family there was complete darkness at noon, what happened? My uncle had two children, a girl 23yrs. and a boy 22yrs (these were his only children). Just two weeks ago he lost this his only son at just 22yrs and a final year electrical engineering student in the University to a very brief illness of 3days. R.I.P Joe, and may perpetual light forever shine on you.
Now he is left with and only child and a female. If she and her husband now decides that as an only child she should bear a compound name, being her surname and her husbands name, that to me is perfectly OK.

That is what i have been trying to say that if reasons like this are put to the table i don't think any sane man will reject such a proposition. What ever you want to do discuss it with your husband for approval and not insisting that it is a must for you to keep.

@Maxidoe has done a great service to this issue and i hope people should read that.

perhaps if we look at it critically, sometimes it isnt for the sake of keeping the name but a wish from parents, but like wat pharoh said, discuss with your husband and if he's o.k with it fine. the decision to keep/retain ur father's name should be the woman's alone to make cause she is now married. My take?

atleast they should play with pride and try their best

I no fit laugh!!!

I dont want to sound religious but i think such women are just trying to change what they are not capable of. It is written in the scriptures that in marriage man becomes united with his wife and the two are no longer two but one flesh. So, they should be united in everything they do including last name. The scripture also says wife should be submissive to the husband and husband should love his wife.

Remember, the word of God is God. He says, heaven & earth will pass away but no word of His will pass without been fulfilled. NEVER question GOD on his rules & principles

So, after marriage, the woman does not belong to her family again but to her husbands'

This has nothing to do with submission or religion.
Women should have the freedom to chose their names, whether Nigerian or not.
Using your father's name is just a way of holding on to your family.

Afterall, there are still rich women-Cecilia Ibru, for example that is using her husbands name and not confoined with her fathers.

@tanimz, If it has nothing to do with submission then, she should marry her father and bear his name.

kennyaribs:

@tanimz, If it has nothing to do with submission then, she should marry her father and bear his name.

who made that rule?

Abeg.

When she dies they can put 'nee blah blah' on the obituary. She should bear my name!

Everything is an individual choice. I didnt change my name for about 3 years afetr I got married and when I did, i just added my husbands name. Since he didnt mind and I like it, we are both okay. The two names are too long so I didnt double barrel them just kept my fathers name as my middle name. It works for us, we both have similar views on may things and I guess thats why we married each other. Do what works for you, Marry whom you both have similar views and outlook to life with and Stop taking panadol for other peoples headaches.
Some women even retain thier husbands name when divorced fro the man even if they hate him and everything he stands for so bearing a name or not doesnt make any difference.

Some men have impressed me on this thread. As for me i intend to keep my father's name and it has nothing to do with selfishness, submission or the like. Each to their own.

bawomolo:


who made that rule?

Thank you jare, bamowolo, Just because a woman wants to keep her father's name doesnt mean she has to marry him.
We are in the 21st century, and women have equal rights as men. So if they decide to keep their father's name so be it.

Young ladies, try to get married (if you can). Pray for a good husband who'll love and take care of you, and you'll get one. Get wedded and live with him and possibly bear him children (if you both desire). Respect and submit to your husband in everything (including bearing his name), he's what you've got. Build a family and leave your father's alone. And when you have kids, devote a good chunk of your time in their upbringing. Teach them to know what is right and wrong. And when they grow up, they'll honor and care for you as long as you live. A woman get's fulfillment in being a woman.

My last name is a part who I AM. So I apologies for not eliminating it.

lesbians and gays! That's why the world is going crazy!

Those women that do it have perceived gains from those names e.g O, o-Bello.

bebrief:

Young ladies, try to get married (if you can). Pray for a good husband who'll love and take care of you, and you'll get one. Get wedded and live with him and possibly bear him children (if you both desire). Respect and submit to your husband in everything (including bearing his name), he's what you've got. Build a family and leave your father's alone. And when you have kids, devote a good chunk of your time in their upbringing. Teach them to know what is right and wrong. And when they grow up, they'll honor and care for you as long as you live. A woman get's fulfillment in being a woman.

ROTFALMAO

@ lovemoi

You must really laugh harder. So is that what being a woman is all about? Marriage and children?

^^^^^

THAT IS HOW MUCH SOME AFRICAN MEN HOW DOWNGRADED WOMEN, THINKING WE ARE JUST BUNCH OF TOOLS THEY BUY AND LOCK UP IN THE HOUSE FOR BREEDING OF CHILDREN and taking care of the home, its actually funny to me how some men even have the nerves to say it, in this present world

rollllllll eyezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

lovemoi2:

^^^^^

THAT IS HOW MUCH SOME AFRICAN MEN HOW DOWNGRADED WOMEN, THINKING WE ARE JUST BUNCH OF TOOLS THEY BUY AND LOCK UP IN THE HOUSE FOR BREEDING OF CHILDREN and taking care of the home, its actually funny to me how some men even have the nerves to say it, in this present world

rollllllll eyezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I salute the heroes and villains of this thread. Let the truth be said, let's help stem this ugly tide and restore some sanity to our world.

bebrief:

I salute the heroes and villains of this thread. Let the truth be said, let's help stem this ugly tide and restore some sanity to our world.

Find something better to do.

FKseun:

lesbians and gays! That's why the world is going crazy!

It's so unfortunate! May God save us.

i love how some people say a woman should drop her fathers name when she moves out of his home. when she moves in with her husband she should take his name. what happens inbetween. the girl moves out at 18 doesnt get married till 25, what is her name durring those 7 years? its up to the couple to decide what to do with the name, noone elses.

michelin89:

@ lovemoi

You must really laugh harder. So is that what being a woman is all about? Marriage and children?

Pls tell me more. No one is saying that a woman must be confined to the home and child upbringing, moreover, it's a joint responsibility between husband and wife. But you just can't neglect a primary responsibility. Try to get your priorities right!

some have been in the type of work that made thier names to be popular before they got married. Even after marriage, they need to attach it to their husband's 4 recogntn.

Lol, I just dont get some people's logic. You are busy trying to ensure your own fathers name lives on, but you want a hand in killing off the name of another man. Who told you your fathers name is more important than my own fathers name?

It's such tripe, they do all this because they have very fragile egos, how many of them stop their own sisters who are themselves married and bear another mans name from meddling in their own family's affairs? How many woman who bear the husbands name are in the same breath and by that same "tradition" disenfranchised or dis inherited along with the children of the marraige whenever it suits the husband or those who are related to the husband by blood, even those who no longer share the last name?

African men, when will you stop changing the goal posts to suit whatever situation you find yourselves in?

Many Nigerian men, respect their own bloodline above anyone who bears their name through marriage, lets be honest. They want you to bear their name because of the bible (which by the way makes no mention of taking the name), but have no intention of leaving father and mother and cleaving to the wife, which the bible clearly states in black and white, for that though they come up with all kind of "modern day" excuses.

The bible puts the onus on leaving your own parents in order to marry  on YOU.

londoner:

Lol, I just dont get some people's logic. You are busy trying to ensure your own fathers name lives on, but you want a hand in killing off the name of another man. Who told you your fathers name is more important than my own fathers name?

It's such tripe, they do all this because they have very fragile egos, how many of them stop their own sisters who are themselves married and bear another mans name from meddling in their own family's affairs? How many woman who bear the husbands name are in the same breath and by that same "tradition" disenfranchised or dis inherited along with the children of the marraige whenever it suits the husband or those who are related to the husband by blood, even those who no longer share the last name?

African men, when will you stop changing the goal posts to suit whatever situation you find yourselves in?

Many Nigerian men, respect their own bloodline above anyone who bears their name through marriage, lets be honest. They want you to bear their name because of the bible (which by the way makes no mention of taking the name), but have no intention of leaving father and mother and cleaving to the wife, which the bible clearly states in black and white, for that though they come up with all kind of "modern day" excuses.

The bible puts the onus on leaving your own parents in order to marry  on YOU.

Your mum wasn't wrong bearing her husband's name, was she? What makes you thing you know better?

It's not your perogative to choose any primary responsibilities for anyone.

Yes. However, it differs when it comes to marriage (asp Africans). NO?