Datope:

Mum, - when she’s angry over an act… …. “You know now, you know me, Emi Idi Amin – If I handle you…. You will remember the day you were born……”

Oya, "where is my doctor do-good" (Cane)

Ha, missing those days!

Busy_body:

@fl ALAGOLO

Are you sure we ain't got the same Mum, lol

Thank God for my Dad though for allowing a bit of his poshness to rub off on me, cos left to my Mum, chei, and because of the words that comes outta her mouth, some people who knows me deeply always wonder if i grew up and was raised in the village by grandmas and ancient people, lol.

aisha2:

Time for family devotion is score settling time for my parents. One day my mother turn to pray?
Dear father, thank you for giving me a lovely son, pls Lord help my son to learn to tell his wife things when he gets married and also to give his wife the exact amount she asked for or more, help him to be sensitive enough to know dat if he wants good things he has to release good money in Jesus name,
And my dad took over, And so Father, help my daughters to realise that no man is a ash machine and to understand with their husbands when the man says there is no money. Even as i have spent money to pay their fees and given them a sound education, let them realise that their husbands may not be as rich as they think and try to support him more.

Now saying amen to any of such prayers is disaster for you as a kid, and beleive me, we heard a lot of such "Prayers" growing up.

my dear, you can say that again. i usually dread those periods after the morning prayers, especially if i know i will be among the issues to be

discussed! my father is the kind of man that whenever he has an issue with you or you do something wrong, he will make sure he tables the matter

before the entire family and it is not usually funny o ! infact, by the time he is tru with you, one will prefer to be flogged instead!!! on the other hand,

we also use that time to discuss important family matters and that, as i have come to learn over the years has made a very strong bond among us

all . Despite the fact that we are all grown and away from home now, we still have those after prayers "discussions" whenever we are all

opportuned to be home say, during festive periods and God help you if you`ve been naughty even while away from home!!!

denzel2009:

Lol, I remember my dad used to come every other day with those canes masquerades use to flog themselves, he would then plant them in every corner of the house like when they plant bombs in war films. We used to wonder if he wasnt a masquerade then

aisha2:

Time for family devotion is score settling time for my parents. One day my mother turn to pray?
Dear father, thank you for giving me a lovely son, pls Lord help my son to learn to tell his wife things when he gets married and also to give his wife the exact amount she asked for or more, help him to be sensitive enough to know dat if he wants good things he has to release good money in Jesus name,
And my dad took over, And so Father, help my daughters to realise that no man is a ash machine and to understand with their husbands when the man says there is no money. Even as i have spent money to pay their fees and given them a sound education, let them realise that their husbands may not be as rich as they think and try to support him more.

Now saying amen to any of such prayers is disaster for you as a kid, and beleive me, we heard a lot of such "Prayers" growing up.

blank:

I have several to tell.

1. My mum always comes up with some funny rules. Once, she said we always bring in dirt into the kitchen from outside (the kitchen was the only part not rugged). She said we should all take off our shoes wheneva we come in from outside or we are about to go out. We all complained but she was adamant. My dad returned from work and then walked as usual with his shoes to his room. As he was about to enter his room, my mum told him of the new rule. He scoffed at it and said he would do no such thing. W[b]e were all happy. Next morning, we saw my dad carrying his shoes in his hands about to go out to work. LOL.

[/b]
4. We were all trying to practice speaking queen's english at home. We decided to have a book where we recorded anyone's grammatical errors. My dad was always an unabashed culprit and couldnt care less but my mum's name never entered the book cos she used to be an English teacher. One day, she made an error and we gleefully wrote her "arrow" in the book. That was the last we saw of the book. I keep wondering where the book is right now.

chaircover:

Hmmmm my dear mama nurse

As kids, we had to wash & dry everything before putting it in the fridge. I can understand bottles of soft drinks & fruits & veg such as tomatoes; mangoes etc but up to this day still cant understand the need to wash things like plantains and tins of peak milk before they are allowed in her fridge.

No matter how many times I’ve shown her she still washes jumpers & delicates at 90 degrees in the washing machine and the dark colours always go with the whites. She also irons socks and bras bless her so when she comes visiting we empty all the clothes in the laundry basket and hide them away

And if you want to be at the receiving end of a tongue lashing, just make the mistake of making her a cup of tea in a teacup instead of her huge 10 litre plastic bowl. The bowl in question doesn’t have any handles and it is a sight to watch her drink the tea as the bowl covers her whole face. The funny thing is she only allows us use one teabag even though she probably has enough water to make 6 cups of tea

ayeesha:

Give my dad hot water for tea in a teacup instead of his very BIG mug and he`ll simply ask you if you are mising the water he sunk a borehole for.

denzel2009:

I knew someone in Ibadan then that could use a teabag like 5 times. After each use, he hangs the teabag on a nail behind his kitchen door.

[/quote]@ poster, once my parents and i stopped at Biggs after church. Mumsi is a slow eater so i and my dad were done before she was. We decided not to wait for her cos she'd take forever. The next thing this woman did shocked us to the marrow. She took the little nylon bag for the meatpie, turned it inside out and poured her remainin fanta inside. After tucking it into her really classy bag(imagine), she looked at us and was like, "What? i owe u??"
[quote]

hackney:

We had this thermometer on top of the tele and Dad said that one day the thread will drop below zero and it would snow. (in Imo state!!)
I and my sister will sneakily go and shake this thermometer like mad, turn it upside to no avail.

After we realised that he told us that so that we can stay indoors watching the thermometer instead of wandering
out of the compound.

blank:


That is the funniest thing i av eva heard. LWKMD!