When you said your husband came in yelling, I thought he was yelling because you had the gut to entertain his friend in his absence. Any man with blood running in his veins will be green with envy and suspicion. Rather, he was angry about not satisfying the wishes of his friend. What kind of man is that? A responsible man will set boundaries between his wife and his friends and relatives. Otherwise, what stops that friend from asking his wife to come to bed with him? What can devil not do with a man and woman in seclusion? If the wife starts cheating with his friends, who will he blame? Obviously not himself, he will blame everybody except himself.

If I may advice, you should call his parents and elders to intervene. He must be made aware that if anything amorous relationship develops between his wife and his friends, he must have himself to blame. Don't apologise to his friend, but call those elders he respects to talk to his coconut head.

He wanted to send you away from the house to go and buy recharge card so that he will see chance plant juju in your house.
If you value your marriage you may need to apologize and tidy his Bleep up later.

Stand your ground and let him do what he wants to do.
DON'T BEG.
If u dont put ur feet on the ground a bigger one will happen.
A man who can not defend his wife or prefers outsiders words to his spouse is no ready for marriage

Hopefully you are saying it the way you said it to the given friend-- many ladies of today do not have respect...

But I give you benefit of the doubt that you are being truthful.

Solemn advice.

Madam, kindly use your knees in prayers.

That's one bad friend who is going to do your husband real harm someday.

Xaos:
I think you should apologize.

You have to do this not because you are fault but because you are a wise woman who priorities her families happiness over her own ego.

Make peace while it is in your power to make peace.

apologise to who? the Olodo friend? what rubbish advice are you giving? she married a wussy gay ass sissy. she should stand her ground. when divorce time reach, we would see the reasons her stupid husband will give that promted the divorce. what nonsense?

You got married to a boy not a man who does not know the difference between friendship and marriage. No adult will sacrifice his marriage on the alter of friendship.

Madam,this is not the best place to get advise to solve your problem, i suggest you confide in your pastor or an elder in your family or your husband's family to interject on the issue. But as for my own advise, sorry to say your husband failed you on this one, nothing should make a couple to side an outsider except where the couple is deficient in the ingredients of a good and compatible relationship, that said you have 2 options,either to continue with the marriage and apologized like your husband decreed or to ignore it, save your dignity and face the outcome. i dont know your husband side of the story,but if what you narrated is what happened then even your apology will not save your union,you may still be staying with the man after these problem but the real ingredients of happy marriage will ebb away cos where a man can take such a stand over such a minor issue, i fear for your marriage. i wish you luck, get to your pastor or family elders.

Your husband is a caveman.

Have a male child for him you will see his attitude would change.

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

Your husband is gay

IamD18:
If this story is true.

Then,I'm sorry, you married a man who cannot respect and protect you before his friends.

A man who's not worthy to be called a good husband or father.

You did nothing wrong, but my advice is; If the happiness and unity of your home is so important to you, do as he has insisted by apologising to his friend.

After doing that, make sure you avoid and stay clear from that his friend. He's not happy with your family and can do anything possible to get rid of you by breaking your home. A loyal friend will be sensible enough to know that it's somehow disrespectful to send his friend's wife on such an errand.

Be careful!

Wrong Advice, very very wrong Advice, what will take out of her if she apologizes to her husband's friend and if that is the only way peace can reign. Madam remove pride and go and do what your husband asked you to do if you what peace and your marriage to remain.

You married a boy

IamD18:
If this story is true.

Then,I'm sorry, you married a man who cannot respect and protect you before his friends.

A man who's not worthy to be called a good husband or father.

You did nothing wrong, but my advice is; If the happiness and unity of your home is so important to you, do as he has insisted by apologising to his friend.

After doing that, make sure you avoid and stay clear from that his friend. He's not happy with your family and can do anything possible to get rid of you by breaking your home. A loyal friend will be sensible enough to know that it's somehow disrespectful to send his friend's wife on such an errand.

Be careful!

To what level would she continue such servitude?


Expect many more insults after this once she bows. I honestly don't understand the Dynamics of her house or family. But apologizing for doing nothing wrong would only worsen issues not solve them. You are just trying to avoid conflict not sort the main issue on ground.


Also one can't give advice based on only one side of the story. There are ways you present cases that maybe alot insulting than the act itself.

I would want to give the benefit of doubt to such friend that she did insult him but nonetheless reporting the wife to the husband over such thing seems like what an immature person would do because there's never going to be a positive outcome out of it.

If I were to be insulted in such scenario. Highest I would do is just avoid visiting again and not go talking about it to the husband.

Madam I haven't really heard d other side of the story but if what you said is tru, then this is my advice,

apologies, not becus of your husband friend but because of who u married and your daughter, and my candid advice, u are already a married lady, stop acting like u are a single lady, the friend who came to ask after ur husband is ur husband friend and not actually your friend even if he is a family friend, next time wen such person come looking for your husband just give them a reply that wouldn't make them sit or better still give them a reply that shows u are busy or about to leave the hux,
I have a neighbor dat wen even d husband leaves the hux she stay by the window to reply any of the husband friends dat comes around, most times she doesn't even open d door, becus u should have called my husband b4 coming and my husband definitely will notify me of your coming,.

mama start acting like a married woman not as a lady


I have a

Apologise on conditions:

1.
You will never attend to any of his friends, whenever he's not home, again.

2.
That particular guy should never be made welcomed, in your home, again.

3.
Tell him never to threaten you with divorce, again.

4.
Explore and implore spirituality of your husband, the more.

5.
Start to save to build a small 2 or 3 bedroom, for yourself, codedly. A man that raise such a threat ant be trusted.

God bless.

Sorry to say ma but if your story is even 80% correct you married a very "mumustic" man.

To begin with, in this age of mobile phone, why can the friend not control to arrive your when hubby is at home? He arrived so early to have enough time to eat and turn you into a messenger. Did he not pass where they sell recharge cards on his way there?

Your hubby can send you on an errand in the same way you can politely send your hubby. NOT his friends.

Aside your FIL and MIL, who before the law and tradition are also your parents, nobody else can do that.
What nonsense. A friend you cooked for got angry over a recharge that you did not even refuse but offered an alternative way to recharge it.

Your hubby should know where loyalty to his friends ends.
Try to explain to him calmly again what happened. No apology to the friend. Your hubby can sweet talk his friend however he likes.

Madam, beware of that so called friend. He does not mean well for your family. He wants to sow discord. But loyalty won't allow your hubby to see it.

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

if what you wrote down here is true then relax ur heart cos you don't have a problem nor offended anyone, but to be on the safe side apologies to that fake friend of his since that the only sacrifice you must make to keep ur home and leave the matter for God to judge

The man is a coward...even if she even called him poor (which she didnt) first of all as a guy...he suppose attack him friend for trying to send his 'wife' an errand..! E no make sense na

But sincerely why would your husbands friend even stay when he clearly knows your husband is not around and still you still manage to attend to him with your situation .its better to be wise and it’s simple.simply go and apologize to buy more time for your self cos this kind of situation will still occur in another manner but buying time means gettting what ever you think it’s good for you to stay on top which means money.

That the friend deliberately wanted to send you out of the house meant he had other ulterior motives.

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

there's something you ain't telling us, no man threatens his legally wedded wife with divorce over a friend ,


you can't play the fool to keep your marriage ?

I suspect he has complained about your pride before.

probably your husband's friend is the breadwinner of your family?


simple apologize to him and let all the troubles go away, there is more to this story

Sorry my dear. U are just worthless to ur husband if not he won't dare try that.
How did u guys get married?. Did u tie him down with pregnancy or he married u willingly? Check how the relationship started cos it might be a contributory factor to this whole mess.
Another thing is that, that his friend might be the reason why he's feeding his family.

U don't have to be scared because nothing will happen to ur marriage IJN, amen.
Just for peace to reign btw u & ur husband, pls apologise to is friend but trust me, after now that friend will never repeat what he did by trying to send u on an errand again especially when ur husband isn't around.
God is seal ur home with peace, pls relax ur mind for u have nothing to fear about ok.

Nairaland30:

Puxxyasslicker.

Friends over bitches mehn!!

Not in this regard, bro you can't even send my current gf unnecessary stuff like "buy me card" when you are not in sambisa or sick. Baba recharge from ur phone...
You can't even try this with my wife, who doubles as the mother of my children

Nairaland30:

Puxxyasslicker.

Friends over bitches mehn!!

she's a wife nt a bitch friend .... a good woman. please do wat he wants it will hurt ur ego buh won't change u. ur child needs a home and a family do it for her

IamD18:
Who's the bitch? Someone's wife?

Are you MAD? What right has he to even send her on an errand in the first place? Is he her boss at work, husband, father or elder brother?

Are you FOOLISH? Why will he even visit and stay with her when the husband isn't around? I'm asking you!

Are you that DUMB? Don't you know what it means to set boundaries and mode in which you should relate to a married friend?

According to OP, she politely suggested another alternative but he turned it down, proving he had something in mind.

And here you are, typing about bitches!

Should I blame your father for this statement you made on someone's wife or should I blame your dusty brain?

It's so pitiful and shocking that after all the promises you made to your parents to be responsible, reasonable and sensible, you ended up as a shallow minded BOY who is ready to suck the scrotum balls of his friends than to protect his wife in cases like this.

C'mon! Will you take your pathetic self out of here!

Nonsense and turninoninown!

lolxxxxxx I swear to ancestors u r wicked and heartless with dis thunderous words of urs to this monkey. bro u really made my day today with this brutal statement to this mosquito. more money to ur phone

There are things that you didn't tell us here, i witnessed many of this kind case but actually the woman are the cause of it. Your husband friend is not your enemy, there must be another thing that you didn't tell us, not that you didn't go to his message.

OkaNaUbe:


You don marry?

I am.and no she should not apologize.
U know why
A bigger one will happen.
What u know u can not finish pls do not start it.
Love ni.
Love ko
If reverse is the case will u tell him to apologize

The solution to your problem starts when you learn to tell the truth.

Your husband na better mumu ,how many women will behave the way you just did , rubbish

EVILFOREST:

Don’t RUSH to believe LADIES.
Remember they also CRY when LYING

Exactly my point. Women have innate power of destruction. They can manipulate to have their ways. Let me narrate a story here :


A friend of mine just get back to naija from the UK. He visited our best friend in his crib. The friend introduced her wife to our UK friend and everything ends there. The guy went home. A weeks later, the wife told her husband that the guy he brought home last week is making pass on her and wanna sleep with her. She even falsified whatsapp message ( She bought a new sim, give it to her friend and made her chat her pretending to be her husband's UK friend...........They made a plan together).She told her husband not to believe anything his friend say about her, because his friend is a destroyer who want to see their end. You can guess why?. This is what happened. The UK guy met our friend's wife in another man's house who is equally a friend. That friend also introduced her as her wife to be, but fortunately for her, the guy couldn't recognise her as the girl she once met in his friend's crib. Had it been the woman knew this, she would'nt have disturb herself about finding alternative way of covering her misdeeds. Inorder to cover this up, she resort to tarnishing the guy's image.Had it been the husband too is a woman wrapper like most guys on nairaland, he wont even attempt to verify his wife's claim. he will neglect the said friend in a jiffy. But no he never did that and the truth later resurfaced.