frozen70:
Once such a situation has been established, fight alone, don't even give him the chance to go further, face him aloneyamd continue your solo protest with him

Even if he tells the family that you are giving him headache, they won't believe him because you a dealing with him alone, let him alone feel the heat of choosing his family over you and then concentrate on the children.
The children will always be in the mother's side so draw your children closer

But if no kids in the marriage yet, just keep quiet and play the fool

Na wa for u O
What kind of mindset is this?
Fight everywhere?
I think u ladies are selfish, i fear that is d plain truth!

armyofone:
I will marry someone who loves me and someone I strongly love too so that my kids won't make me the center of their universe when they are old enough to be independent. Thank Goodness for the beautiful individualistic/independent climes here. Carry on bro

Lols
You are still young
U won't understand until your sons become adults

It is very important to note that mother's love is unconditional & pure.

Rubbiish:

Na wa for u O
What kind of mindset is this?
Fight everywhere?
I think u ladies are selfish, i fear that is d plain truth!

The word fight doesn't mean physical combat

If you don't want to experience it, protect her before your family

frozen70:


The word fight doesn't mean physical combat

If you don't want to experience it, protect her before your family

When u can protect both and everyone is happy

freecocoa:
Odiegwu o! The thing no tire you?

Is it that the men aren’t listening or that the mothers just won’t let go? Cos quite frankly, thinking about it, I begin to wonder, why do these mothers even allow such nonsense continue? Why want to play the role of a wife to your son? Are you well at all?

Then the man, you can’t man up to your mum to tell her what’s real, yet you want someone else’s daughter to worship, adore and treat you like the lord of the whole world, yet simple “mama please stop” you can’t say, you are a very stupid and weak man that shouldn’t be taken seriously.

The men never really grow up.
Still trapped in their childhood mentality thanks to bad father figures.
The circle continues.

For u to get a really good man who thinks out of the box, u have to use ur sixth sense.

Rubbiish:

When u can protect both and everyone is happy

You think it's easy
As a man, you won't have issues with the woman family unless you are maltreating their daughter

But as a woman she will face some challenges from your family especially from you sister's

So prevent it by protecting her

frozen70:


You think it's easy
As a man, you won't have issues with the woman family unless you are maltreating their daughter

But as a woman she will face some challenges from your family especially from you sister's

So prevent it by protecting her

We are saying d same thing
Loving your mother as a man doesn't stop u from protecting your wife nau

freecocoa:
What makes you think my perspective is biased? I’m a woman who hopes to have a son someoday and also be a MIL, so how exactly am I biased?

Nonetheless, your reactions to people's comment suggest you have an unwritten position.

Rubbiish:

We are saying d same thing
Loving your mother as a man doesn't stop u from protecting your wife nau

You will understand and explain better when you marry

frozen70:


You will understand and explain better when you marry

Lol

GboyegaD:


Nonetheless, your reactions to people's comment suggest you have an unwritten position.

Thank u!

Now you are sounding all sanctimonious and wiping up sentiments to make it look like wives are always the victims in this matter. We know how things usually pan out between married ladies, their husbands and In-laws in typical Nigerian homes!

A man whom you knew nothing about his birth, childhood (including childhood sicknesses and co), upbringing etc. A man who passed through thick and thin with his family; endured hard times together with his family, laughed and cried together with them etc. And then through the support of his family, he rises above all odds, makes the money and then comes to marry you. And then you expect him to discard all the love and experiences he shared with his family and put you above them Why?? Because you have a vagina Pls be honest to yourself!

And the truth is that, a critical look into what you termed as his mum being mean to you would actually reveal the opposite of your claim I.e you being the mean one instead!
Most times, married Nigerian ladies will feel very comfortable with their own families being around but would kick against anyone from the man's family! That is how selfish some of you are!

I have always said that any lady who wants to enjoy marriage with me must be ready to accept my family and never interfere with the way I relate with them... the only thing is that my kind of person cannot stand and watch any member of my family abuse my wife. But there must be a justifiable reason for me to defend her and trust me, in most cases, wives are the offenders and not the man's family!

Its really better for some of you to remain unmaried.

Jman06:
Now you are sounding all sanctimonious and wiping up sentiments to make it look like wives are always the victims in this matter.

You really dislike women don't you.

Not saying you shouldn't feel that way, no one but yourself knows what women might have put you through.

We know how things usually pan out between married ladies, their husbands and In-laws in typical Nigerian homes!

A man whom you knew nothing about his birth, childhood (including childhood sicknesses and co), upbringing etc. A man who passed through thick and thin with his family; endured hard times together with his family, laughed and cried together with them etc. And then through the support of his family, he rises above all odds, makes the money and then comes to marry you. And then you expect him to discard all the love and experiences he shared with his family and put you above them Why?? Because you have a vagina Pls be honest to yourself!

You're still juvenile.

And who is we?

And the truth is that, a critical look into what you termed as his mum being mean to you would actually reveal the opposite of your claim I.e you being the mean one instead!

Does any of this improve the situation of Nigeria? Maybe if you used some effort trying to improve the country, Nigerians would be more amiable.

Most times, married Nigerian ladies will feel very comfortable with their own families being around but would kick against anyone from the man's family! That is how selfish some of you are!

Selfishness is when you're ok with a lady dying before her time due to stress which you don't care about because it's not you, and after all you can always remarry, no sweat.

I have always said that any lady who wants to enjoy marriage with me must be ready to accept my family and never interfere with the way I relate with them... the only thing is that my kind of person cannot stand and watch any member of my family abuse my wife. But there must be a justifiable reason for me to defend her and trust me, in most cases, wives are the offenders and not the man's family!

You believe any marriage of yours would be enjoyed by your partners?

nairalandposter:


You really dislike women don't you.

Not saying you shouldn't feel that way, no one but yourself knows what women might have put you through.




You're still juvenile.

And who is we?






Does any of this improve the situation of Nigeria? Maybe if you used some effort trying to improve the country, Nigerians would be more amiable.




Selfishness is when you're ok with a lady dying before her time due to stress which you don't care about because it's not you, and after all you can always remarry, no sweat.



You believe any marriage of yours would be enjoyed by your partners?

I don't really care what you think about my post.

You can continue searching for a woman wrapper to pit against his family! It's none of my business!

No one can pit you against your family unless you're foolish.

You don't need to portray yourself as saintly simply because someone agreed to marry you. It doesn't make anybody a demon except when you're one also.


Btw, if you don't consider your spouse and kids as your "family" then you should never marry.

If its girlfriend pitting you against the aforementioned, you have no problem with it.

Skewed.

why stopping a family feud starts with you


https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2016/12/avoiding-family-tension/

sassysure:

The men never really grow up.
Still trapped in their childhood mentality thanks to bad father figures.
The circle continues.

For u to get a really good man who thinks out of the box, u have to use ur sixth sense.

When I hear all these my mother, my mother,

I automatically know that it was not a happy home or the father is late.

Abi which husband in a loving home would his son kolobi his wife?

Which wife who is lovingly enjoying the second round honeymoon with her husband will have time to compete for her son's love?

Has she finished enjoying her husband?

Unfortunately, they don't learn from their mothers and treat their wives right.

bukatyne:


When I hear all these my mother, my mother,

I automatically know that it was not a happy home or the father is late.

Abi which husband in a loving home would his son kolobi his wife?

Which wife who is lovingly enjoying the second round honeymoon with her husband will have time to compete for her son's love?

Has she finished enjoying her husband?

Unfortunately, they don't learn from their mothers and treat their wives right.

I wouldn't use late fathers cos we were practically brought up by our mum as dad died very early but we don't exhibit this madness.

Look for that thread where boys were lamenting about their fathers. It was an eye opener.
So sad to say but more than 70% of Nigerian men/husbands are not fathers. They don't know how to love.
The absence is felt. We call that tough love yet it has eroded us of what love means actually.

That's why if u post here that ur husband cooks, dishes out food and do houseworks as much as u do, they will start calling him woman wrapper. But look at them, the child in them crying out so much to be loved and recognised.
I thought me and my husband are trying until I start seeing married couple where we live display affections outside. Very old couples.
Many of them live alone. Doing their things.
Some live with their grand children( bc of school)partially, the parents pick the kids during weekend. No interference from anybody.
Families get together at the right time.
When I compare that with what we have at home, I can see why Nigeria is so messed up.
No country will ever do well if it has dysfunctional family system and we have that.
Good family upbringing and system breeds good society and representatives.