Skmoda360:

He should dump his feelings into the trash.....dude will forever keep remembering what he saw even if he marries her....

Lamanii22:



He should just do whatever would make him sane....

Jaqenhghar:

LOL. This bit reminds me of this girl I dated. There was this guy who kept popping up all the time. She said they were friends but some things didnt add up. So while "discussing this situation " I suggested that since he was single , I had a female friend ( real pretty) who had just broken up and wouldnt mind meeting new people. Maybe its a good idea to link them up. Her reponse told me everything I needed to know.

Skmoda360:

Now you talking....he will never listen to the advise anyways and will eventually marry her jawre...dude can't think straight...

Skmoda360:

Now you talking....he will never listen to the advise anyways and will eventually marry her jawre...dude can't think straight...

XhosaNostra:



Looooool. She got jealous?

IDK, maybe I'm crazy but I don't want any person from the past sniffing around my mate & if someone I'm with can't get rid of exes, I throw the whole relationship away. I don't like stress.

Jaqenhghar:


Exactly. She became very jealous and miserable at that suggestion. This guys wasnt evem an ex. He was supposed to be a friend they met. True@ the bolded A line in a movie says "if you dont understand it, get rid of it".

Newdawn30:
Everything was fine BTW us till late last year when she started changing. Our sex life was great till late last year, whenever I make a move to touch her she always say she was tired or not in the mood. It was strange cos she has a large appetite for sex. Then every weekend she hardly spend time with me, it either she had to for her a week training or she had to go home to see her parents which was odd . Even when I told her to stay she refused, it was always one excuse or the other.Then we began having fights even over the silliest things. I was away for a month and I came back early because of the lowdown. I decided to check her message, that's how I learnt that she had been having affairs with other men(3) Including married man she introduced to me as a friend. Same girl that hated ladies that sleep with married men was doing same.
I feel so broken cos I never expected such a thing From her . We are supposed to get married by 3rd quarter this year... I still have feelings for her cos she has been begging and saying she regrets her action begging me not to tell her mom. Her mom is the only person I can trust to knock some sense into her. I'm scared that if I forgive her she might do it again.
Nairalanders I need your advice. I had built my world around her

kokaneprodigy:

He will get burned badly

Newdawn30:


You have a point, I think it's just the fear of starting all over again, she has her good part , I never new she was this loose... I think it's the courage to do the needful I'm lacking right now, deep now I know what needs to be done... Thought she's prepared to go to the alter to swear she's never cheat again

XhosaNostra:



LMAO. Wow. So did she end up with him after you ended things with her?

Good one. I'll make that one a motto. Most of this shìt is not worth half the stress if we all knew when to walk. I don't know how many times I've been accused of "having fake emotions" because I refuse to endure BS & emotional abuse. Yes, I can be fickle but what else are you supposed to be when people try to hurt you when they start seeing signs you're into them? That rubbish doesn't work on me, I'll switch on you without even trying, to keep the fairy land of rainbows & lollipops intact, in my head. People...ugh.

Newdawn30:
Everything was fine BTW us till late last year when she started changing. Our sex life was great till late last year, whenever I make a move to touch her she always say she was tired or not in the mood. It was strange cos she has a large appetite for sex. Then every weekend she hardly spend time with me, it either she had to for her a week training or she had to go home to see her parents which was odd . Even when I told her to stay she refused, it was always one excuse or the other.Then we began having fights even over the silliest things. I was away for a month and I came back early because of the lowdown. I decided to check her message, that's how I learnt that she had been having affairs with other men(3) Including married man she introduced to me as a friend. Same girl that hated ladies that sleep with married men was doing same.
I feel so broken cos I never expected such a thing From her . We are supposed to get married by 3rd quarter this year... I still have feelings for her cos she has been begging and saying she regrets her action begging me not to tell her mom. Her mom is the only person I can trust to knock some sense into her. I'm scared that if I forgive her she might do it again.
Nairalanders I need your advice. I had built my world around her

Michelle55:
3 men at a time ? It's no longer a relationship but a community project
All this advice y'all are dishing out is a waste because I don't think Op will adhere to any of it.. He needs to have a firsthand experience of real pains before he would realize that he's nothing but just a labourer in the community project scheme

Jaqenhghar:

I have no proof but I suspect she did and it didnt work out because after about 11 months she came sniffing around telling my friends and my sister how I totally misjudged her relationship with that guy, and I was unfair , etc. My friend advised her to just move on and that its been a long time .. everyine has moved on.

Newdawn30:


Lol, you guys are the best , I haven't laughed for days now.... I know what to do, I'm still in a state of disbelief I guess.

Newdawn30:
Everything was fine BTW us till late last year when she started changing. Our sex life was great till late last year, whenever I make a move to touch her she always say she was tired or not in the mood. It was strange cos she has a large appetite for sex. Then every weekend she hardly spend time with me, it either she had to for her a week training or she had to go home to see her parents which was odd . Even when I told her to stay she refused, it was always one excuse or the other.Then we began having fights even over the silliest things. I was away for a month and I came back early because of the lowdown. I decided to check her message, that's how I learnt that she had been having affairs with other men(3) Including married man she introduced to me as a friend. Same girl that hated ladies that sleep with married men was doing same.
I feel so broken cos I never expected such a thing From her . We are supposed to get married by 3rd quarter this year... I still have feelings for her cos she has been begging and saying she regrets her action begging me not to tell her mom. Her mom is the only person I can trust to knock some sense into her. I'm scared that if I forgive her she might do it again.
Nairalanders I need your advice. I had built my world around her

Newdawn30:
She has been begging I shouldn't tell her mom cos of her dad heart condition, that they will be so disappointed in her , it can lead to other things

Newdawn30:


The alter idea was suggested by her as an alternative to telling her folks

Lamanii22:



OP, look at me, just do whatever is best for you, do whatever would make your mind be at rest...

XhosaNostra:



You have a sister?

She probably wanted to make you her safety net guy/option Z for when all else fails. Smh.

Belafonte:


You are dishonest and manipulative

Newdawn30:

I have always told her cheating was a deal breaker, my real worry is she might do it again in the future

Newdawn30:

I have always told her cheating was a deal breaker, my real worry is she might do it again in the future

Jaqenhghar:

I have 2
Exactly. I felt the same way too. It was just ridiculous the way she went about it. I wouldnt wabt to go into details on this forum but it is what it is. I jave leanrt that in relationships ypu take care of your feelings.

Newdawn30:


The alter idea was suggested by her as an alternative to telling her folks