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Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) - Literature (3) - Nairaland

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Smart Lady Gets Perfect Revenge On Yahoo Guy That Wants To Use Her For Rituals / In - Between ( A Fictional Story) / Life Of A Shy Guy (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by ashatoda: 8:29pm On Sep 19, 2021
The real journey begins but it ends up as vanity at the end of the day. What is gotten by force is lost by force

4 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by sulorog(m): 9:35pm On Sep 19, 2021
Thanks for the update
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by sulorog(m): 9:36pm On Sep 19, 2021
More!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Haakeem(m): 9:49pm On Sep 19, 2021
following mhen.....

3 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 11:08pm On Sep 19, 2021
I was led from that room to another room where i changed my clothes into white garments. Before i was led out, after changing clothes i dropped off my personal effects, then that point, his assistant then led me to the back of the house which obviously had another small gate which we exited and obviously that path led to a stream. I did as he instructed, he said when you get in that water, don’t say anything, just go in there in silence and bath as i normally did with my oyinbo made sponge and leather bath soap at home (the only difference was i had a native sponge& black soap in my left and a calabash to scoop water in the other. The soap was looking a little brownish-black in color and i guess it contained things sha. One of the things baba instructed me to do was to after competing my bath in silence, i had to not throw the sponge away but put it in the calabash and and put the calabash in the free flowing stream water so it floats away he then added that as the calabash floats away only then can i break the silence by saying in yoruba “leni mowe ekun iya mi danu, leni moti di atunbi awon aiye. Odabo aiye mi igba kan”

Today, I’ve cleanesed away the tears of my mother, Today, I’ve become reborn. Goodbye to my old life”

Some scary shit i tell you. But then bath was completed and we returned to Baba. This time baba was waiting in the white room (aforementioned) then he asked me to come into the room with my back when we got to the door. I went in alone and his assistant stood by the door. He then opened the the coffin, and in there was my laptop (I brought it because the last time i was here, he listed it) he then asked me to pick it up from inside the coffin, i did. He then asked me to sit inside the coffin then i did he then used something to cover my eyes, like a piece of cloth (the ninja style) so I wouldn’t see what ensued.
Then something filtered into my nostrils but from the smell i knew it was food somehow. Then baba asked me to eat like that blindfolded, inside this coffin So apparently someone or something held it then i obliged because at that point there was no going back. But then, what i ate, I couldn’t tell but whatever it was was wack as Bleep. Some beefy shiit. And as soon as i was done, he removed the blindfold, and asked me to relax on my back inside the coffin, i did, he murmured some yoruba shit and closed it exiting the room. Then inside there, i would wake up in a minute and baba came back telling me “kaboor omo irunmole” seven days had passed but i was in that coffin for only a minute I thought �

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by revived: 1:15am On Sep 20, 2021
dodoatirice:
I was led from that room to another room where i changed my clothes into white garments. Before i was led out, after changing clothes i dropped off my personal effects, then that point, his assistant then led me to the back of the house which obviously had another small gate which we exited and obviously that path led to a stream. I did as he instructed, he said when you get in that water, don’t say anything, just go in there in silence and bath as i normally did with my oyinbo made sponge and leather bath soap at home (the only difference was i had a native sponge& black soap in my left and a calabash to scoop water in the other. The soap was looking a little brownish-black in color and i guess it contained things sha. One of the things baba instructed me to do was to after competing my bath in silence, i had to not throw the sponge away but put it in the calabash and and put the calabash in the free flowing stream water so it floats away he then added that as the calabash floats away only then can i break the silence by saying in yoruba “leni mowe ekun iya mi danu, leni moti di atunbi awon aiye. Odabo aiye mi igba kan”

Today, I’ve cleanesed away the tears of my mother, Today, I’ve become reborn. Goodbye to my old life”

Some scary shit i tell you. But then bath was completed and we returned to Baba. This time baba was waiting in the white room (aforementioned) then he asked me to come into the room with my back when we got to the door. I went in alone and his assistant stood by the door. He then opened the the coffin, and in there was my laptop (I brought it because the last time i was here, he listed it) he then asked me to pick it up from inside the coffin, i did. He then asked me to sit inside the coffin then i did he then used something to cover my eyes, like a piece of cloth (the ninja style) so I wouldn’t see what ensued.
Then something filtered into my nostrils but from the smell i knew it was food somehow. Then baba asked me to eat like that blindfolded, inside this coffin So apparently someone or something held it then i obliged because at that point there was no going back. But then, what i ate, I couldn’t tell but whatever it was was wack as Bleep. Some beefy shiit. And as soon as i was done, he removed the blindfold, and asked me to relax on my back inside the coffin, i did, he murmured some yoruba shit and closed it exiting the room. Then inside there, i would wake up in a minute and baba came back telling me “kaboor omo irunmole” seven days had passed but i was in that coffin for only a minute I thought �



Shit

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by jahson19(m): 7:39am On Sep 20, 2021
Dats some scary shit up there

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 8:00am On Sep 20, 2021
What happened to me in that coffin was the type of effect i had when i took opioids (refnol or swiphnol) personaly, half card of that drug makes a day skip in my life because I’d sleep off like a log (but i only used it when I need to sleep because overtime I rarely slept in the day after hours or days of bombing) and the effect it had on me everytime i did was to sleep till and when I’d wake up, I wouldn’t probably remember the events of the previous day (or at some point, I’d obviously remember all but slowly!) It’d be like a day skipped in my life. But this wasn’t drug, the most i slept of drugs was a day and thereabouts but damn, this felt like Baba closed the damned coffin for a minute, and exited the room, while i was in there, i was scared as hell but in the process i closed my eyes for a minute, then when i opened it again Baba was there, like he’d reappeared the same moment he exited just to open this coffin but then he was welcoming me and asides telling me that I’ve been there for seven days, i realized it because after i exited the white room, but mind you, before i left this room, i ate the same shit i ate on the first day of the enlisted seven days (aforementioned). But this time, it wasn’t wacky, tasted really nice but i still did shit blindfolded.

I completed the last rite, (Baba then led me to a different room entirely but then this time it wasn’t white. but i was scared shot again, there was a {a big party jollof rice type of pot in the middle of this room again} the contents were boiling but I couldn’t see the fire that heated the pot even though it stood on three stones (aro meta) i kid you not, pot was boiling seriously and Baba told me to get in i hesitated at first and he said i should [at that point he was getting really impatient because i was a little bit hesitant] but then if I could sleep in a coff, then this had to be done. I moved closer to this thing, dipped in my right leg [obviously testing the waters] but as i thought it was going to be wasn’t what i found, pot was boiling quite all right but inside this pot it was cold. Then the incantations went on and on and Baba stopped exactly when the boiling stopped, like it had been timed). I got back to the place Baba used as his office and Ceeza was waiting, my guy was grinning from ear to ear. But i was weak. If i was there for seven days like i confirmed, then the only thing i ate was that wacky thing the first day, and the sweet wacky thing the seventh day. In my body, i felt very very different.

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 8:26am On Sep 20, 2021
But then again, i had seen the end of this visitation, i was ready to go, Ceeza was waiting for me in the waiting room, Baba didn’t say anything after that. He handed me my laptop, but from all indications i could see it had been tampered (not the hardware or software) but i could see red oil stains and some shit i had to wipe off from the casing. As i made to leave, Baba then spoke up and asked me to drop a thousand naira note in the floor and that was payment for his troubles then he added, “if e don dey sup, come see me na that time i go collect raba for your hand” But then, Ceeza did the drive home because i was weak as Bleep and like that nothing was said, it was too much an experience for me to narrate to him, i was so sure he wouldn’t want to hear it, now understood why everybody dey code for game if them get sure plug, but was this plug a sure thing?? Well i was going to find out.

We got home, but then again, i slept the whole day, i was locked up in my room, I didn’t even come out to bomb but Ceeza didn’t even disturb me (understanding Nigga). But then the morning after, around 6am Nigerian time, i went to the lounge and Cezza as usual was working away on his laptop, damn, make i check my mail na, i went back to the room, took my laptop, went to the lounge again, hooked my Pc to the blazing Wifi that connected our Apartment and there it was, Joe from Texas had written a bible of messages saying he though he misunderstood me and was sorry he let people get in his personal buisness. Shey this one dey wyn me ni?? Oh well, i checked google voice, sent him a text, Joe replied instantly, oh well we talked back and forth and my guy needed to run around for a Hundred thousand dollars just five minutes into the convo. I had done this alone, i waited for him because he said he’d do some runaround o, 6pm Nigerian time, Ceeza had gone to hangout with one of his chicks, then Joe typed in, “i got it” he said “got what i queried” (because i didn’t believe it even from when he said he was gonna do a run around) “the cash babe” he replied. Then he added, in a minute I’ll hit your btc wallet!!

But no be lie, he did as he said and after 2 confirmation, i had btc in a hundred grand equivalent now do the maths, $100,000 times 450 damn i was that rich ajeh!

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 11:15am On Sep 20, 2021
Ceeza returned and damn, “you never see anything” he said. But then in the course of the new week, i meant the week that followed after, me and my guy let fly off the money for a bit, the splurging no be here, if for anything, i still had the old lex, and the things i bought when Joe first remitted. but then again, this time, things were a bit different. Because from the moment I confirmed the 100kd he sent, i started seeing that my Lex as average because me I’ve rolled around alot with big boys and i knew what the drive felt in their machine and how it felt in my low budget Es330. But then, i kept myself in check and Ceeza didn’t tell me or ask me or advise me on how to spend my money but then i kept driving the Lex sha. Because in my school days in the lodge that i lived i was the only yoruba guy there the rest were igbo peeps who were students as well. But from hanging too much by living in the same lodge and hanging out too much with a host of them, i came to realize that igbo people rated how rich you were by how much businesses you have and how much Real estates you’ve acuired over the year.
Omo ogbon, i always dreamnt of a four bedroom bungalow on 2 plots. Omo na so i go ogun state, buy land start things. Ceeza was impressed and said i took after him because asides all the splurging, i still made moves. But then i had my building project going on and i still drove my lex. Lets just say time rolled by, some details i left out, i went back to baba, understood my taboo and the guidelines (if you follow this piece carefully you’d see the betrayal, the snitching, the attention, the fame, the glitz, everything that happened I’d relay them here piece by piece.)

But then everything was working, I had only Joe, just Joe and no other person just joe. Now il explain how this spirituality thing works, guys its real the connection between Diabolical means and hussle. Now i came to understand that, Ceeza’s own was he’d be able to attract clients and bill them anytime he liked wether he built trust or not. My own was that i had only Joe and Joe it was. But surprisingly if i asked Joe for $300k he’d find it it might probably take a few days or two. but then i asked for his bank details, i already knew what he was worth, how much he earned and all the things he had. Joe lived a simple life but he had a blessed family, they had ranches, had a family business properties in Cyprus and real estates. But nigga didn’t give a shit and would go ahead and live in a low budget caravan house (a Special Vehicle with all the facilities of a house). But everytime i asked for cash he always provided it and the highest i billed him was $300k and he cane forth with it. It only took a day and half know but the scope of this Diabolical means is the moment i ask my client for help, “anjonu ma wonu e” a spirit will overide his thoughts and let him do my bidding. Baba told me

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by lymelyte(m): 3:59pm On Sep 20, 2021
Are you truly comfortable telling the world how you use a diabolical means to mk money?

2 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by airsaylongcome: 4:03pm On Sep 20, 2021
lymelyte:
Are you truly comfortable telling the world how you use a diabolical means to mk money?

Why you wan spoil our trips na

3 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 4:38pm On Sep 20, 2021
Fiction Gee, fiction ooo forget title, na make people come read thanks
lymelyte:
Are you truly comfortable telling the world how you use a diabolical means to mk money?

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Athemisia: 5:04pm On Sep 20, 2021
dodoatirice:
Fiction Gee, fiction ooo forget title, na make people come read thanks
Baba leave that guy, update us some more ATHEMISIA is impressed....

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by ashatoda: 6:48pm On Sep 20, 2021
Please continue I am enjoying the thing well we'll. It reeks of realness and that's what I appreciate so much. For your information you must finish the tori or else, make I no talk wetin I go.do

3 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by ModeEbo(m): 7:23pm On Sep 20, 2021
No b small tin man dey c for hustle. To make money hard brother. Nice content thou

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by nastynic(m): 7:42pm On Sep 20, 2021
Damn
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by sulorog(m): 7:48pm On Sep 20, 2021
Nice one, more!!!;!!!!
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 9:29pm On Sep 20, 2021
Guys, don’t take this piece too serious, just enjoy it. It’s make believe fiction if there’s anything like that and the title was just to get people to come to the thread so nor too reason am.

The delays in updates is due to the fact that i thing sometimes maybe the piece didn’t make some sense. Then I’d abandon thread for a while until someone then gives me a mention. Like i said, I’m not a writer, i just want people to see this as entertainment of some sorts and I guess the more people drop comments the more i want to write. Guys i can keep this going for as long as ever

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 12:11am On Sep 21, 2021
In the space of months, (time lapsed) i had completed the house, just like i had in my head, now it’s reality. House was just there, i didn’t live there. Oh momsy, (i didn’t talk much about her but i wanted this piece to get to this point). In the course of building the house and completing it, briefly i visited the hood, not for show off but just to say Hi but on that day, i gained streets respect, look like i said, I didn’t visit the hood for show offs, i just wanted to see my mum because i left home and didn’t even visit again after that. I didn’t even visit the hood since i left and this one time that i did, i spent money that day ehn, somehow news have been filtering around the hood that i had bought a car but didn’t show up until now so I couldn’t be billed but the news traveled even if i was coding the cashouts, news still traveled.

Going home to my mum, i did it as sneaky as possible, from the island apartment that where me and my Gee lives, i hit the road, but that was around 4am in the morning, (we had to roll like that and if you’re a Gee guy that drove, you’d actually understand why we moved early in the morning or at night) i got to my hood around 7am, (mum was an early riser, and 7am she was already at her store because she’d sell junkies to school kids who either had enough loose change outside their lunch boxes or the kids that won’t activate school mode if their mum didn’t buy them assorted junks, or the ones that still took the junk and still rebel in the contract they signed with their mom through assuring gestures which was “Junior oya stop craaying ahh! Oya momy efun mi ni buiscuit ati Bobo” but junior go collect but no go still wan go school but those kain kids, their mama dey always turn Angelina Jolie if the contract agreement breach ( these were the scenes when i had to stand in for Ma on days she went to the market to restock her shop and i had to stand in for her) but then I’d talk about the boys that bought the leather sized Ball (the white one with Black and white which had “health” imprinted on the skin. These group of boys consisted of boys from the higher primary levels. What amused me was, they always bought new balls. They did like every week and they always brought the cash for a new ball with a frown and when you see the money you’d understand the frown in their face (theyd have gone days of steady contribution before they finally arrived at the amount the ball was). I tell you funny memories that because i was jobless, i made it a point of duty to always go to my mums shoo early before she got there later because i was sad and needed help, i was looking for a job and none was forth coming and these school kids and their funny attitudes made me like Ma’s shop in the morning and before i knew, i had made connections with most of them.

(For the school boys who always had to buy if not one but atleast two in a week, make una no vex, {make i talk this one} one Friday, school closed and this boys walked in their packs again and came to buy ball but i had had enough of it mumsy was making sales from their pain but i knew something wasn’t right, and this time, we were short in ball supply but i sure knew momsy would restock and like I thought, i investigated this boys by asking them why they always bough new balls because it wasn’t normal to me, someone was either stealing their balls or they were collecting it for a project at school but them the boys told me of how they had a witch in a clas teacher who always took their balls because her kid dislocated a joint playing at breaktime. Omo i went to the school, and gave the headmistress a piece of my mind and said asides producing doctors or lawyers, sports is recreation) guess auntie class teacher was later called to order, bits got their freedom to play at breaktime and on Fridays after school because apparently Class teacher stopped collecting balls because the kid said she didn’t even cut the balls, she took them home. Collecting Balls eww.

But this early, i was parked at Mom’s shop, she saw me park and motioned to the other people to hold on while she attended to the car that parked she came towards the direction where i parked because I thought she’d seen me but then i got out of the car before she could get to the door. In disbelief, she froze for a minute, regain composure and used her eyes in a manner that went from my head to my Car and then back at my face. I understood her suprise, (i had added weight from eating so much food and junk food because loud smoke increased my appetite, Swiphnol made me sleep during the day but I’d sweep food after binging in drugs and smoke like a storm swept through the city. And food wasn’t a problem because oh well you could go get whatever you wanted to eat and just eat it because you have the funds and food wasn’t in the list of the problems i had. She might as saw me as looking fresh and very well toned out, but na Air-condition filter, na who know know oo, air conditioning filter dey, just like snapchat of instagram filters, Sha dey dey inside ac brozay, you no need cream. And if you dey use body cream sef e go dey work. But long talks aside, mom was happy to see me, i told her as e dey go except the Spiritual thing, news traveled that i was around, and as omo ope wey i be, i spent money that day because i had it. I gained the respect of the streets, Mom wasn’t actually happy with how i made my money, but what could she do, My mama no be Jesus, and i no be the Rich guy wey dey inside parable for bible wey dey seek Kingdom of God wey dem tell say make e fo sell everything wey hin get abi how the tori take be? I’ve wined and dined with the devil, i knew the consequences which i had been careful to avoid.


(If you get Raba for this life, everywhere wey you go dey go na hin Air-condition go dey dey but then again, this is a factual observation and not a thought!)

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 12:13am On Sep 21, 2021
Dont send me Pms asking for fraud updates, I’m not a writer, not a yahoo boy but I’m typing fiction. But the again I’d like constructive criticism

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 12:15am On Sep 21, 2021
Tonight I’d clock in two more updates before i shut down if i get comments, like i said feedback is needed or is this thread not dry aside updates and the cool people who’ve been urging me to post more

5 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Jaydasilva10: 3:48am On Sep 21, 2021
Enjoying the story, more knowledge baba.

2 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by PraisesPblaze(m): 7:52am On Sep 21, 2021
Funny thing is; people must still say na ritual u do.

3 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by bakesntakes(m): 9:25am On Sep 21, 2021
The tori de go well, de give us d gist de go

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Teddybliss: 11:49am On Sep 21, 2021
Nice story brotherly

More wisdom to you

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by sulorog(m): 1:51pm On Sep 21, 2021
Thanks for the update, more!!!

2 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by kushercain: 2:14pm On Sep 21, 2021
Carry on G we dey your back like tattoo cool

2 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 6:52pm On Sep 21, 2021
Oh, in the course of the then events, I finally changed my car, and here’s how I did; i completed the abk home, didn’t leave in it and my mum was too attached to the old house to come live outchea in my property so it was always locked up until I employed a security for the house who happened to be an aboki but he asked me to stay in the property so ad to monitor it fulltime. (Most abokis especially on the island live in the premises where they worked as securities. But then, as omo ope wey i be, i cut him a deal, he was to secure the property and make sure every night the security lights stayed on and blah blah blah but then, i made a shed for him right outside the gate of my house (the aboki type shack where retail and convenience items were sold) but i made it cool and lent him some money so while he lived in the property, he’d be doing business too. He was really grateful and that was it, if i wasn’t leaving there, atleast someone stayed there. But then i moved out from Ceeza’s apartment and it was done mutually with understanding because yes wed be in touch, he was my boss and wed still be able to do things together but according to how everything be, i moved and we still kept in touch and i still drove my Es330. I moved to a 3 bedroom semi detached duplex in Admiralty way, life that i never dreamt of, butbefore the shenking that made me change my Lex, Admiralty way damn i suddenly felt odd, yes i was a resident but then my car felt odd, but still nobody see me sha because for that way everybody dey mind him business. But then i no too reason am, i had things i wanted to achieve, my type of Gee boy was the investment minded type so i had plans i wanted to work towards and because the Lex still drove nice no issues except occasionally fix this fix that.


A month after i moved to Admiralty way, Ceeza Copped a new Range rover Evougue and A Benz GLk, he apparently bought it the same day. He didn’t tell me, like i said we left on Mutual agreement and understanding, but nigga switched up after that and i only saw his doings on the gram nothing more. Nigga then went ahead and chilled outside with friends celebrating the new ride, i was kuku in my house but i follwed the updates on the gram as they posses photos, made snaps, splurged in the club, the hypeman was singing Ceeza’s praises. (Apparently they drove both cars to the club and everywhere they went that night, but make i no Lie that snap colorful and the cars nice well well and Cezza my boss didn’t tell me he or didn’t ask me to come out and celebrate with him, the first time he’d chenck me especially on his new doings which was actually big but then i was set out to do something even bigger but how or when i was gonna do it I didn’t know but i could it i thought. But nothing was supping. My Lexus still took me everywhere i wanted. But silently or low keyed, at computer village i invested ten million naira on buying and selling of premium phones and laptop, but damn, never trust a family uncle or member with your money or business (story for another day but this my uncle started out nice managing the buisness until he started being dishonest but story for a different episode). I’d later crash the Lexus and wrote it off because i was high on drugs and fell asleep on the steering (STAY OFF DRUGS!!! Drug has been responsible for 70 percent of Gee guys auto crashes and deaths) for instance, a gee guy goes to shrine driving his benz from his home with a sober head. Gets to shrine, eats or binges on Full card tablet of refnol thats ten pills in units and the same dude would still smoke loud or probably colorado laced with cigarettes or loud or the one molled raw. He then scrambles to his car when he’s had enough of the binge and hits the road for home. How him no go jonze for road)

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by akindele91(m): 8:12pm On Sep 21, 2021
[
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by akindele91(m): 8:15pm On Sep 21, 2021
G
dodoatirice:
Oh). I’d later crash the Lexus and wrote it off because i was high on drugs and fell asleep on the steering (STAY OFF DRUGS!!! Drug has been responsible for 70 percent of Gee guys auto crashes and deaths) for instance, a gee guy goes to shrine driving his benz from his home with a sober head. Gets to shrine, eats or binges on Full card tablet of refnol thats ten pills in units and the same dude would still smoke loud or probably colorado laced with cigarettes or loud or the one molled raw. He then scrambles to his car when he’s had enough of the binge and hits the road for home. How him no go jonze for road)
So you finally bashed my dream car.... so painful.... pls come and give us more updates

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Pweetiedude(m): 9:47pm On Sep 21, 2021
Kudos to OP

1 Like

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