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Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) - Literature (4) - Nairaland

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Smart Lady Gets Perfect Revenge On Yahoo Guy That Wants To Use Her For Rituals / In - Between ( A Fictional Story) / Life Of A Shy Guy (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 9:56pm On Sep 21, 2021
Then the other guys in the room too had cars individually and from what i saw later, they had Benz Cars too individually. But then, i actually wanted to attend this wedding because i was friends with the Groom in the Hussle kingdom gor a while and asides Ceeza, he showed me one or two tips and tricks and he even sent me an Iv I had no choice. But it didn’t take long for me to discover that the guys i met in the apartment with Ceeza apparently lived with him and on very very close observation which was later confirmed, they were his siblings, he apparently brought them to live with him and bought them cars (over splurging) but no too reason am, yahoo money mad gan oo. In the evening of the same day, Ceeza took us out and we hanged out at a club. Now Ceeza had two rides, and ever since he bought the two at once, he always loved to drive both out on a cruise, he’d drive his Range and have someone drive the Benz and he’d do this with his other friends who had cars too. But damn, why would anyone want to put 2 rides on the road, but yes na, brag rights and show off. But this particular Friday, he asked me to drive the benz while he drove his range as he wanted both of his cars on convoy. Normally I’d have told him it didn’t make sense driving both cars to cruise at the same time, but this was someone who did things his own way and never cared what your opinion points at but then, i could use a drive, i haven’t driven since i crashed the Lex and looking at the fact that i wanted a new ride and even though i told myself that for whatever it was, I’d buy an upgrade to the Es330 that i crashed probably a Es350 Lex or the Normal Rx350 that didn’t look sexy at all (the 2006 type).

But then, here was a Glk Benz that Ceeza asked me to drive so we could convoy along. i took the keys, got in when we were all set and ready to go, and as soon as the gate to the apart opened, ome by one, the cats left the compound. I let my hand sit on the Gear for just a bit, them finally pushed the gear to “D” and then slowly i made it out of the compound into the streets like the others did, drove till we stopped infront of an hotel. But Boy this car was a beast, in my Lexus, i always drove it, in this cool as Benz Glk, it was the car that drove me, all i needed to do was to throttle it and it responded breezing down the way to our destination and the way the Car did everytime i got in my head and decided to be “Paul walker” on the road for a tad second, this Sweet ass ride responded to every pressure my foot put on the throttle like it was on a revenge mission for all the times it sat bored in the sun idle and bored.

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 1:01am On Sep 22, 2021
I feel like to sleep because the alcohol content i downed was of controlled quantity. Ceeza on his part like i said havent really been talking to me like we used to since i moved out to live in my own which I thought he actually understood and was fine with, well if he did understand like claimed, why was he being cold or distant towards me? The Benz i drove to the Hotel we went to, when he bought it, he didn’t tell me, i only knew through social media. But we thrashed that out when we bumped into each other at the mall.

I updated joe back and forth, and that night he said they sold one of the Cyprus houses and between himself and his sister they had to share the proceeds from the property sales and they already did and Joe said he’d probably be able to send me $10k. Just $10k?? Then obviously no he said, then he explained that he was getting the payment in bits and he had over a million dollar in his bank account as at when he spoke but he still needed to head to his sister’s Home in Utah so apparently he’d need to fly to Utah and sort this and that then he’d be ready to pay me more when he got back but then $10k was for deposits.


Oya i trust Baba, this Baba guy, if you rang him up at 1am midnight, he’d pick his call and talk. Shey him self dey bomb ni i always thought hehe, but this night, client tell me say one million dollar dey him aza and him wan gimmie 10k$ wetin make i take am do?? Baba, sure gee, Yahoo ni Babalawo, like he’d stood guard by his phone and picked my call from the first ring, i doubt it rang self, because from my EarPods, i was waiting on the network to connect my call command to his phone so i was waiting to hear that good for nothing beep tone but no Baba’s voice came alive on the other end and without waisting time i explained my ordeal and he laughed from the other end and asked me to no worry and rather accept what he offered he said it would multiply and i was going to see it, but that i didn’t understand. But the wise one has spoken lol, i did as he said, accepted the 10k$ my client offered, told him to send it to my wallet, at that point Joe said he’d binged on vodka and would send it in a moment, but then, Joe went and hit my wallet with not 10k$ that he offered, but with $100,000.00 worth of btc in 5 seperate transactions. After I confirmed it, i texted him like i was expecting him to come at me saying he made errors in the transfer, (even if be did make errors i wouldn’t send the money back). So $500k was in the bag. Baba said accept what he offered, it will multiply and so it did. So overnight, it had happened again, some people would call it grace, but i knew this was no grace and that sooner or later, the plot might twist and the ebora that through Diabolical means made Joe from texas do my bidding would one day call for my head. I knew it, i didn’t want to see it coming, but i knew it would come but i just had to live my life and enjoy it as much as i could.

But then Saturday Morning, at first it started slow, we were going to this wedding and we set a time to leave the house. After a while, everyone was ready to go and like that last night that Ceeza asked me to drive his car to the Hotel well we hungout, I thought, I’d drive out in his Benz like i did the previous night. But then ahead, i for the keys to his Benz so i could drive to the wedding venue too. (I didn’t tell him about what supped overnight tho) but then he said not a problem and he’d let me have keys when we about to go. An hour before we left the house, i saw Ceeza hop in his Range with his babe and left the house, guy act like I wasn’t even there, i still didn’t male much sense of it when he left because I thought he’d probably have dropped the Benz key somewhere or probably left it with one of his brothers (siblings). But then, i watched as they drove out of the house in their Muscle Camry Sport, all three of them, the car Ceeza had bought for them.

So i was left in the house, and no be say i broke oo, Ceeza? because i asked for his Benz? Ah oga o. I was going to go to this wedding by the way. So i got dressed, hailed a ride online, fed the driver my destination and we moved. So i sat close to the driver and then the savageness in me activated, as the driver of my ride was carefully navigating the roads, then a sharp though crossed my mind. “Why not play around with a few thousands i said to myself” shit shouldn’t hurt at all I asserted. I told my Uber guy about my change of plan. So that meant i had to hit the dealer real quick. Uber guy stopped at a car lot, i walked in, then i went in and paid for an Acura ZDX 8million or naija naira. I got to the reception a bit later, it took a long while to process this and that and then by the time i finally drove the snow white Beast of the lot, it was getting to midday. Now from the moment i hit the road and made for the wedding because not that i wanted to show off, i just wanted to make a statement. But then, i got to the venue, (an Events hall somewhere in lag) i found a park space, i hit the engine stop button, car shut off, I grabbed the keys, opened the door, I turned around to make for the entrances of the hall so i could make an appearance in the midst of the merriment, but then I didn’t get to the Entrance. Apparently, when i drove in through the event Center gate after being ushered in by a security who from inside the cold ass coven of the white beast i could see his over excessive multitasking of hailing me and trying to safely direct the car to a park space. Cezza and his guys (who I didn’t see because I didn’t look around much) had seen me exit the vehicle and they new from all indications, this was a new purchase, a purchase that made a statement for me.

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by PraisesPblaze(m): 6:45am On Sep 22, 2021
I still dy wait for Ceeza reasons sha.

But na show off be this one sha, the benz pain u.

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Athemisia: 7:18am On Sep 22, 2021
Nice buying a car but on his wedding day...

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 10:33am On Sep 23, 2021
But then, car was fresh, even though it cane with the tag (tokunbo) who cared, in Nigeria, its an achievement if you buy a tokunbo vehicle (especially when you’re from the slum or the hood) then going to the venue in that sweet ride made me understand that level pass level. Yes, people had bigger rides and all of that, but what I drove in was big atleast, people knew what i drove before and what happened and how I didn’t drive for a while because normally from my experiences with Ceeza, if you drove a car that crashed, you’d have to replace it immediately (replacing it immediately wasn’t a thing anyway, but my yahoo friends and connections saw it as a big thing, an OG doing but I didn’t ply that route.
Like the popular (I’ve bought a car or i have a car ritual) i mean the hanging of car keys through the {belt track that made it easy for your belt to travel around your waist so your trouser would sit in place} by letting it dangle freely at every point so when people saw you, they notice your car key. I let dem keys have a field day there while i went into the hall. Ceeza and his siblings saw me quite
alright because like i said, they were outside the venue in the space where cars could park and they did so in a way that people would notice them. (Some show off tactics). But then i knew he saw me and even made to signal for me to join them after i parked. But then just like when you switch a dslr camera to manual mode, Input Ceeza and his boys in the background, and my focus was on the entrance to the hall that held those big bouncers that bounced people at the club. In a moment i was inside but then from where i sat and still trying to figure out how to swim through the barrage of people who barricaded my guy and his bride in the name of merriment, i looked through the large ass window frame that showed what was happening outside, one by one i saw Ceeza and his boys leave the venue. Probably because i snubbed them, but they did first because i asked for his ride oo.

But then again, i wanted moore, i just felt like after the car purchase and the respect that came with it got into my head, i gained alot of respect and in my circle, i could fit in. Because most boys had Benzes and so on. But then after the wedding and shi. I mean ti say the week that followed, i followed my Acura ZDX with A Benz Glk and a Toyota Highlander. (Highlander belonged to my mum i felt she’d need the space since she went to the market alot). If only Ceeza knew we were two different people and both had different lucks and according to what we’d done spiritually, we’d pay the price separately and differently. I came to understand he avoided me because he started seeing me as competition and getting too big for his liking.

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Lakesc: 10:46am On Sep 23, 2021
Thanks for the update...
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 11:25am On Sep 23, 2021
But then again, who cared? I still had respect for Ceeza anyday all day. How about we switch things up and talk about other things. I was cashing out, Joe was getting broke, i was making moves both wastefully and sensibly because truth be told when you make money from fraud, no matter how coded and money smart you are, you’d make wasteful decisions too. So in the space of a year, i had achieved alot. I wouldn’t say i was smart or invested my money wisely, if i had fifty million, I’d build something and still have change in millions and somewhere else, I’d have double that amount idling as mere figures in a bank account in my name. So we made investments because we couldn’t stock pile the money in a bank account. So you had to buy something. But at this point i was getting bored.

It was a new year, and as Baba ad required, i had slept in the coffin again for seven days and like the last time when I thought i had been in there for a minute, it happens exactly like that again. and Baba had said that year would be different and I should expect to make more money than i did last year. Money wey don dey tire me. But then that January crawled by slowly until i hanged out at an hotel with one babe for company, it was hot outside and i sat in the Air conditioned Bar area i was typing away on my phone sipping my drink when the waitress approached the table where i sat with a bottle of Cognac I didn’t order. She said a supposed Alhaji Dauda was in the hotel and had sent it to me and he asked her to tell me if I didn’t mind, i could join him in the area where he sat. Apparently it was the same alhaji that campaigned and got elected as Local Government Chairman in my locality but then what did he want with me?? I knew him or saw him only through posters and posters it was. But for the crazy curiosity, i joined him and discovered i was the one that knew him and not the other way round. He wanted to apparently divert local government funds and needed a picker (azaman) or (hushpuppi).


“If you fit do am successfully i go give you plenti link my son”

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Jaydasilva10: 11:27am On Sep 23, 2021
Thanks for the update... More updates

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by PraisesPblaze(m): 12:25pm On Sep 23, 2021
Azaman for local govt fund.?
I no expect this one oh.... Lol.

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by ashatoda: 1:15pm On Sep 23, 2021
See upgrading!!! Chai. You know with Ceeza this is expected. It's inevitable he would take you as his boy in as much as you are not making up to him but when you start progressing more then he will believe you are growing wings and will seek to clip you. That's human nature only few people don't think like this. Thanks op for the update and more please

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 3:07pm On Sep 23, 2021
Alhaji had converted funds from Naira to dollars through a bureau de change all he needed was an Azaman to recieve the funds in a Us Bank account, cash it out then cashmail it to an address he provided. Why he needed to go through this route i dunno but who cares, i was going to do it anyway but then again i doubted it was local government funds. Probably some stolen funds he’d tried to clean through an azaman. But then i wrote Joe up and before i knew it, after handling the first transaction the way Dauda wanted, he then threw me in the midst. Link he promised, as long as i delivered, i was picking money for alhaji’s too, i worked with Hausa’s alot codedly i was laundering money for them, through Joe who would stop at nothing until this cash got sent or that one got mailed etc. in the course of these, i bought my First Magodo property, then added another one, but then again another. This year Baba said i was going to make money, as predicted, i did. Money was pilling, all my dreams had come true and through, I didn’t know what to do with money again that I thought i was gonna loose my mind.


That year, things dragged on and on, i was financially buoyant, things were going fine until Baba left me several missed calls. When i got back to him, he told me it was time, time? What time? Then i went to see him. For what i did, this year i had to throw a party for no reason and after that, I’d sleep in the coffin again, it was earlier than I expected because sleeping in the coffin should have been a once in a year thing. This year i did it twice. But the events after the party i threw would unfold.

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Horlardorjah(m): 4:26pm On Sep 23, 2021
Nice one. Kudos
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Lakesc: 4:54pm On Sep 23, 2021
Waiting to read what will happen after the party. Thanks for the update...
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by kushercain: 5:25pm On Sep 23, 2021
Fire on bruh
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 6:48pm On Sep 23, 2021
First i buried six cows alive, first i acquired a plot of land and that night, we buried all six cows alive, each one took close to a week or thereabouts but we did it. Baba then asked me again to acquire another six cows for the party. But then so people won’t suspect anything and I’d look legit some bit and to get people to come out to attend. I ran the whole event through my mum who by the thought of six cows and how she buried her Dad silently without any fanfare and couple with the new found fame she had among her peers through the things that i did for her, the new 3 bedroom flat crib i built for her in the hood, the Highlander Suv, and her big ass shop, jumped outrightly at the idea i pitched to her. I mainly told her I’d love for us to remember my grandpa who was her dad and she went with the idea of throwing a party and buying six cows. Momsy wanted this because apparently, in the hood, they now reffered to her as Alhaja and that was after that Mecca visit i bankrolled and couple with her new circle of friends anything mediocre was short of her standards. Mumsy had her plans to invite lots and lots of people, i had plans for the lots and lots of people anyway so traffic to the party was needed and I’d need to generate or create enough awareness.


But then if you like, buy a hundred cows for a party, beef go finish ajeh. We threw this party, people attended, people ate, drank etc because i made everything available or in surplus. But still meat finish oo. I went back to Baba, slept in the coff again and then that was it. So twice that year i slept in the coff bit the last time was different, i threw a party that people attended to go with. Baba had said that one bu one, everyone that attended, their luck would be transferred to me and they’d still live The only people that was saved were the ones that had strong heads or the ones that had fortified themselves against such attacks but 80% was sure to become empty heads spiritually. But no be lie, na so i jam 3 mew clients one night some weeks after the party. They were like zombies.

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Athemisia: 11:08pm On Sep 23, 2021
Hmmm....
The quest for more money can drive a man to the extreme and he won't see anything odd in it anymore...

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by ashatoda: 6:59am On Sep 24, 2021
This is why most times it's so dangerous to attend these owambes because many of the people doing these parties have ulterior motives. The worst thing is that many of those drained will be experiencing hardships and blame the country it's only those who can pray hard that will escape. May God save us amen. Thanks op for the update

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Born2winKingOG: 9:25am On Sep 24, 2021
ashatoda:
This is why most times it's so dangerous to attend these owambes because many of the people doing these parties have ulterior motives. The worst thing is that many of those drained will be experiencing hardships and blame the country it's only those who can pray hard that will escape. May God save us amen. Thanks op for the update

Shut up with your analysis, just fem and enjoy the " fictional" story.

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Athemisia: 9:45am On Sep 24, 2021
Born2winKingOG:

[s]
Shut up with your analysis, just fem and enjoy the " fictional" story. [/s]
It's a free world and we all have freedom of speech so stop behaving like a tyrant.

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Born2winKingOG: 9:50am On Sep 24, 2021
Athemisia:

It's a free world and we all have freedom of speech so stop behaving like a tyrant.
Shut up the analysis, and let op continue with the story.

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Athemisia: 10:20am On Sep 24, 2021
Born2winKingOG:

Shut up the analysis, and let op continue with the story.
@Myd44 @seun @lalasticlala @Dominique
Please ban this teenage boy.

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by sulorog(m): 11:27am On Sep 24, 2021
More!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Haakeem(m): 11:58am On Sep 24, 2021
Op continue jhoor....
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 4:03pm On Sep 25, 2021
But then out of the blue, Baba’s demand became excessive, bring this, bring that, do this or do that. 12am (midnight) I’d hit my bathroom and bath seven different black soaps with seven different sponges. Bit then one thing that really shook me was, for everytime i slept, I’d always dream that someone came to me and handed me a bag. And before i got the chance to see what the bag contains, I’d wake up. But then that day, no matter how slowni was or how lazy or even if I didn’t want to hussle I’d always cashout. (One of my clients was sure to remit money for no reason) it was why i said my clients were zombies). But then i was making all these monies, i was lowkey paying the price. But then in my hood, my fans were divided, i had the loyal ones who had benefited from my generousity (the boy is good typo thing). Then i had the ones who through hate believed i did something more that the ordinary (you see this group of people, they are right actually but i was at an advantage because their observations was merely based in assumptions, assumptions that was valid. But you see the other ones who hailed me, sold their goodlucks to me for cheap but they’d think i was being nice thats why i gave them this amount or that for whatever purpose the occasion was.

Then one Saturday, i got a call that momsy was critically ill and had to be rushed that morning to the hospital. I was frantic then made to go when baba hit me up through my cellphone. (I was behind the wheels about to fire up the car’s engine when baba said or I’d say he already knew what was happening at my home because he want straight to the point the moment i said ‘hello’ from my end. He instructed me not to go and see my mum for whatever reason and if i dared go, four people from my family would end up being buried the next morning including my mom. He even instructed me not to help or try to save my mum financially as doing that would ruin me and that would be the beginning of the end for me.
He said all of that and ended the call adding if i flouted any of the things he said, I won’t even find or remember the way to his compound. As soon as he dropped the call, my aunt call came in and I didn’t know what to do!

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Athemisia: 4:39pm On Sep 25, 2021
Tout a bien sûr un prix.
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by PraisesPblaze(m): 7:12pm On Sep 25, 2021
Wow...
Excessive demands that has to be met so as to secure d bag.

Satans ways sha... He no dy help with better mind.

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Haakeem(m): 7:32pm On Sep 25, 2021
Op kwantynew pls....
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by ashatoda: 8:20pm On Sep 25, 2021
See serious gobe. This is why it's not good to be desperate and seek help from satan. He will destroy one's life entirely. Imagine, having money and compelled not to help one's sick mother. That's why many of those who seek for Satan's help are usually callous. Thanks op for the update and more please

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by kushercain: 8:35pm On Sep 25, 2021
Op come drop one more tonight embarassed

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 10:31am On Sep 26, 2021
All these while, bit surprisingly, Ceeza had calmed down a little (somehow we’d settle our differences) but them i bumped to him at a store one time and we sat in his car for awhile then we spoke about the different things we both had gone through in the money chase journey. (He’s been in the game way longer than i did and had faced lots of things spiritually but then, how he made it through the endless list of endless demands from baba was something i pondered over and over). Only God knows how many times he’d slept in the coffin, or how many times he’d buried cows or how many times he’d thrown a party lavishly. Or at some point was his mother sick and he couldn’t see her or help her. But then we spoke at length and I’d come to understand that we had to face things differently. I ended up telling him how baba instructed me not to see her and help with finances as long as it had to do with anything regarding Mom’s sickness. But the nigga shocked me, nigga said at some point, baba required he slept with a mad woman, but then he said sleeping with the mad woman wasn’t the crazy thing but after he did, some months after the act, the said mad woman started growing a bump, a bump that soon became obvious that she was pregnant and with child. He’d shrug it off because he’d thought he logged in only once and probably other people were logging in too. Then fast forward he added, she born pikin, pikin resemble me pa.

The child is two,
The Mother is Insane
The Father is sane

An unwanted child he said, then he spoke of how some woman in the community fostered the child (because the community took the child of the mom so they put it in local foster care) and how i needed to see how cute the child was. A child he couldn’t claim. But then he finished relating the even then i could finally put it all together.

That popular werey in our area
The pregnancy
The birth


So it was Ceeza that that but damn...........

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 10:57am On Sep 26, 2021
But then, nigga then told me, all this while we hanged together, he did things inly himself could explain because at some point he was broke as shit and thought he’d private not get mended until he found a way and Baba was the way, but the way like he said was what he thought would swim him out of brokenness, and like he imagined it, so it happened but he kept paying the price and the demands wouldn’t stop. He then made me understand that he could only tell me all of these because now i was in the same shoes as him and that for the both of us, there’s no going back from this neck deep shit we put ourselves in. We’d then go our seperate ways after that meeting in the mall and it was the last i heard of Ceeza. What happened to him, i didn’t know or couldn’t tell. But then, niggas had a way of laying low at some point and so I thought!

But then, my mummy was was dying, infact she was literally vanishing, in my hood the side talks began, my family even the extended ones started believing the naysayers, well yes mum was priceless but the dire consequence of helping or going to see her was what i was afraid of. It went on and on but then I’d have lost her but somehow, they took her to our village, they nurtured her back to full fitness and made her to understand that someone in her family was spending unclean money and she needed to stay away from whoever it was or avoid or cut contacts with whoever it was. I wasn’t mentioned but in my family, i was the only person that was splurging, the only person that did big things etc. so on this money chasing shit, i lost my mom not to death but because she found out what i was involved in even though no fingers were pointed, she already knew what brought about her sickness and coupled with my Missing in Action attitude towards her, it became obvious. Momsy would then pick her old clothes and some of her stuff then headed to live in her hometown because people in the hood were talking alot. (She left the 3 bed and everything i bough for her behind and didn’t pick a pin.

If from the onset, i was told to use my mom for rituals, I’d have bolted, but it happened in a way that I believed the spirits were undecided and whenever they got hungry, they’d pounce on whatever they choose whether you consented or not, you go sha chop am!

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