motymop:
I would advise you mimic her way, the same way she act to your family members is this same way you react to her.

Obviously he can't coz he's not built that way.

@OP you have to man up. You are the head of the family and your decisions are bound. The thought of you wanting to run away ought not to have been conceived in the first instance if you stand your ground. It shows that you let her be in most situations when you ought to have stood your ground just because you don’t want her dramas. She has seen it as a weak point and she’s using it against you because she know you can do nothing.

Women are manipulative and if you know them well, they are predictable and you can use it to your advantage. Atimes, you have to stand your ground on some issues and atimes, you might just let go for your sanity. In other words, do not be predictable.

Kindly take out time to download the book “The Manipulated Man” by Esther Vilar.

You will thank me later.

ikennamadu1:
Bro lemmi give you one advice .. since her mother and brother are in your house presently.. tell them you want to do a little get together between you and her siblings including her...

* Go out , buy small chops
* Buy soft can drinks and red wines
* Buy cake

After you must have done all this , call all of them inside .... Start your speech by saying .. you wan to appreciate God for a good and wonderful year.. despite all that happened this year .. God kept us alive ... That this is just a way to say thank You God ... Then say mama , tell your daughter I'm no longer interested in this marriage .. mama despite everything I did for your daughter , she has successfully showed me how wicked and evil she is
.. mama can you imagine she has successfully thrown all my family members out of my house.... But whenever yall come around she feel happy... How can a good woman be so evil and wicked to her in-laws .. this is a woman I sacrificed my all for ... Mama at this juncture tell your daughter to pack her things and leave my house.. the children is mine ... I will take care of them .. let her leave with the last born .. I'm no longer interested...

Then sit-down and wait for her kneeling down to beg you .. that she will change ..

Baddest. If OP fit run this, he would be fine.

Good evening. I am moved by your story and I knew you wrote in desperation and a cry for help. From indication, you're an easterner but pardon me if I am wrong. It's sad because
1)Your work didn't allow you to know your wife in totality when I mean, being able to accommodate, tolerate and build.
2)its obvious owing to your absence a lot happened and wasn't nipped in the bud in time.
3)Its unfair your wife welcomes her own and yours is not good enough to stay.
4)you gave room for this problem by allowing your brother's son go though I quite understand your time constraints.
5)I know you allowed so many things to happen just for peace to reign. Good
6)My advice is from today, take a stand as the man in the house, the head of the family and be of few words but words that speaks.
"you won't run from your house. But LET her know that you her fighting your family and portraying she gets sick seeing them is something no one that does it wins.
Also she's getting it wrong because if it's her own 'bu nke Di mma', emesia she'll regret.
We can talk more. Keep faith, no mountain is Insurmountable

Heterodox:
If you can't stand on your own ya not a man.


Let that parasitic mentality go.

Abegi.... if you have a health issue that warrants you needing like 20million naira for your life to be saved, can you do it on your own right now? can you donate a kidney for your self? Can you donate blood for yourself? so because you are married to a woman, you will throw all your first family away? The woman is even more sensible than you are, she is busy creating sweet memories with her own family while she denies you of the same... and you are here forming andre the giant.

A man without a sound philosophy which he walks and works on personally and with everyone that comes close to him can never reign supreme in his glory and have inner peace, even if he makes the latter possible for others. Enact a philosophy today and let it be a standard in your world - and say no to expectation because it always leads to depressing disappointment.

The absence of war does not automatically mean peace, and peace obtained and maintained with servility is slavery - unfortunately, only cowards find fulfillment in slavery and revel in it. One of the highest and most fulfilling points of living is reaching the height of not minding losing anyone/anything in principle - stay conscientious.

An undeniable fact, however, is that you gave her an impression from the inception that she could always do anything that pleases her and get away with it scot-free. Servility is as bad as cruelty; say no to both of them.

U r a man who has bn pussy wiped , how can u allow ur wife control ur home to that extent? Guy u ve to reconnect with ur siblings, n give her a dose of her own medicine. Give her people the same attitude she gave urs , then she go come ask y, then u let her know how much pain u ve gone through, cus of her behavior. If she is wise she il change her ways.

You are a good creative script writer.

Dalil8:



Weak man. U no deserve to be man at all.

Ur wife don succeed in isolating you from everyone so when she start dey deal with you. u no fit run to anyone. Na their tactics be dis.

U better send her packing before e bad pass like this.

Na man u be..this is wat the redpill have been saying..her first attack is to cut u off from ur family n friends so that wen she starts dealing u will have no where to run to.you will have no choice than to gp back to her and beg since u no longer have anyone..
Braise up op if things continue this way because the 2nd wave of the attack is incoming..na dat one dem go use finish u...come to think of it, how women go just full my house na..everywhere go just de smell woman.

Richpet85:
Please do not mind my english consider any error as typo but I honestly needed a sincere advice.

My marriage will be 8 years by September 2022. The journey of marriage has not been rosy and sometime I feel I made a very huge mistake by marrying my wife. I met her in April that year, we date for 6 months and we finally got married Sept same year. Prior before we got married I took her to meet with my siblings since my both parents were late specially our 2nd daughter who her husband sponsored my secondary education. She was cool with my family and never raised any concern during this period of courtship.

Suddenly a night of our wedding everything changed. That same woman that took care of my family as hers turned into directly opposite of who she used to be. To cut the story short, she started dispising my family and the thought of their sight irritates her.

She started by complaining about my sister's son living with me before we got married, her mum and other of my siblings to the point that anytime my eldest sister visited she will leave my house with tears.

My wife also ensure she send all my siblings and relations away from me and my house no go area for them. But what confuses me was that she doesn't behave in a similar manner whenever her own siblings or her mum visits our home. Her behaviour towards my family has destroyed the joy we once had as siblings. The marriage has produced 3 kids of which my last child is less than a month old. Anytime she put to bed her mother has always been the one coming for OMUGOO. None of my siblings can come to my house because of her attitude towards them.

I can't tolerate it further am dying silently as am typing this msg her mum, her immediate junior Sister are in my house and every where is very peaceful. If they were my mum or sibling my house would have been burning by now.

I made conscious effort to kill and ignore this feeling but anytime I see her mum and sister. I feel very depressed in my own house. There are other ill behaviour she have which I can tolerate but seeing myself separated from my siblings because of my wife is my greatest Marital night mare.

I am sincerely fade up with her but my kids are my greatest weakness. The thought of leaving my house and go far away from her or rather travel abroad and leave there permanently has recently overcrowded my mind. But I can't stop thinking about my kids, their future and what they will turn into if she is to raise them alone.

Don't forget I have provided her with everything needed to be comfortable in marriage, house, cars, business etc mostly importanly I am not cheating on her, I don't smoke, I don't keep late night and I don't have friends because she has sent everybody close to me away from my life.

I need a mature advice and no insult please.

I am emotionally trumatised and feel so depressed.

Just listen to yourself talk you are loving her family while she hates urs n cuts them off completely.

Now place ur right hand on ur fore head and shout I receive sense now in Jesus name now.

She is ur husband forget about who is providing in a marriage, once there is no strong will in a man, u can't lead a woman.

Imagine complete house wife riding u, what if she was working n earning bigger? U for be her cleaner.

Man up or manage her like dt with ur excuse

Normally, I no dey like to dey read long stuff. But I be wan calm down read all you typed but your notifier " do not mind my English" just killed the whole vibe.

Whatever your situation may be, I wish you good luck.

Richpet85:
Please do not mind my english consider any error as typo but I honestly needed a sincere advice.

My marriage will be 8 years by September 2022. The journey of marriage has not been rosy and sometime I feel I made a very huge mistake by marrying my wife. I met her in April that year, we date for 6 months and we finally got married Sept same year. Prior before we got married I took her to meet with my siblings since my both parents were late specially our 2nd daughter who her husband sponsored my secondary education. She was cool with my family and never raised any concern during this period of courtship.

Suddenly a night of our wedding everything changed. That same woman that took care of my family as hers turned into directly opposite of who she used to be. To cut the story short, she started dispising my family and the thought of their sight irritates her.

She started by complaining about my sister's son living with me before we got married, her mum and other of my siblings to the point that anytime my eldest sister visited she will leave my house with tears.

My wife also ensure she send all my siblings and relations away from me and my house no go area for them. But what confuses me was that she doesn't behave in a similar manner whenever her own siblings or her mum visits our home. Her behaviour towards my family has destroyed the joy we once had as siblings. The marriage has produced 3 kids of which my last child is less than a month old. Anytime she put to bed her mother has always been the one coming for OMUGOO. None of my siblings can come to my house because of her attitude towards them.

I can't tolerate it further am dying silently as am typing this msg her mum, her immediate junior Sister are in my house and every where is very peaceful. If they were my mum or sibling my house would have been burning by now.

I made conscious effort to kill and ignore this feeling but anytime I see her mum and sister. I feel very depressed in my own house. There are other ill behaviour she have which I can tolerate but seeing myself separated from my siblings because of my wife is my greatest Marital night mare.

I am sincerely fade up with her but my kids are my greatest weakness. The thought of leaving my house and go far away from her or rather travel abroad and leave there permanently has recently overcrowded my mind. But I can't stop thinking about my kids, their future and what they will turn into if she is to raise them alone.

Don't forget I have provided her with everything needed to be comfortable in marriage, house, cars, business etc mostly importanly I am not cheating on her, I don't smoke, I don't keep late night and I don't have friends because she has sent everybody close to me away from my life.

I need a mature advice and no insult please.

I am emotionally trumatised and feel so depressed.

You are either a woman or a hermaphrodite but certainly not a man.
You want to blame your choice and desire on your wife?

You are the one that don't want your family around, you are simply typing this to chase clout if not:

1, how can your wife's family be in your house peacefully and your own family has been chased out by your wife?

2. What did she chase them out with, her attitude? You don't have a reciprocal attitude?

Oga, when you are ready to be the man of the house, you will not be typing this non.sense on nairaland.

Go to your wife now and give 24 hour ultimatum that it's either she accepts your family whole heartedly or her own family will not know peace whenever they visit. After 24 hours, go and ask her mom and sibling to leave your house with a big stick or machete.

N.B, don't use any of the weapon, just pretend like you will use it.

Let her know, nobody will be comfortable again until she accepts your family and see changes.

Be a man!!!

Richpet85:
Please do not mind my english consider any error as typo but I honestly needed a sincere advice.

My marriage will be 8 years by September 2022. The journey of marriage has not been rosy and sometime I feel I made a very huge mistake by marrying my wife. I met her in April that year, we date for 6 months and we finally got married Sept same year. Prior before we got married I took her to meet with my siblings since my both parents were late specially our 2nd daughter who her husband sponsored my secondary education. She was cool with my family and never raised any concern during this period of courtship.

Suddenly a night of our wedding everything changed. That same woman that took care of my family as hers turned into directly opposite of who she used to be. To cut the story short, she started dispising my family and the thought of their sight irritates her.

She started by complaining about my sister's son living with me before we got married, her mum and other of my siblings to the point that anytime my eldest sister visited she will leave my house with tears.

My wife also ensure she send all my siblings and relations away from me and my house no go area for them. But what confuses me was that she doesn't behave in a similar manner whenever her own siblings or her mum visits our home. Her behaviour towards my family has destroyed the joy we once had as siblings. The marriage has produced 3 kids of which my last child is less than a month old. Anytime she put to bed her mother has always been the one coming for OMUGOO. None of my siblings can come to my house because of her attitude towards them.

I can't tolerate it further am dying silently as am typing this msg her mum, her immediate junior Sister are in my house and every where is very peaceful. If they were my mum or sibling my house would have been burning by now.

I made conscious effort to kill and ignore this feeling but anytime I see her mum and sister. I feel very depressed in my own house. There are other ill behaviour she have which I can tolerate but seeing myself separated from my siblings because of my wife is my greatest Marital night mare.

I am sincerely fade up with her but my kids are my greatest weakness. The thought of leaving my house and go far away from her or rather travel abroad and leave there permanently has recently overcrowded my mind. But I can't stop thinking about my kids, their future and what they will turn into if she is to raise them alone.

Don't forget I have provided her with everything needed to be comfortable in marriage, house, cars, business etc mostly importanly I am not cheating on her, I don't smoke, I don't keep late night and I don't have friends because she has sent everybody close to me away from my life.

I need a mature advice and no insult please.

I am emotionally trumatised and feel so depressed.

Honestly bro I feel your pain,but aside that does she have anybody you can report her to,I don't mean her parents I mean someone more elderly like a mentor, guardian or even pastor etc. Because in life we need someone like that. Secondly do you have a church you attend? I mean who is the head over this your marriage apart from your biological families?

Bros, u senior me but i wil talk to u like my brother.

See eehn, wen u realized that her family are behind all these den u wil know what to do.

I have already told my wife to be that i don't want family nitemi. I cant kill mysef.


But wait ooh, is it a sin for a man to just leave the house and move far away if the wife is making tins unbearable for him?? Cus me i bn dey tink say sin no dey inside ooh, i cant kill mysef cus of one yeye woman and kids that at d end if years its their mum dey will keep praising upandan.

Na prayer my father dey always pray for me cus he knows that am not totally ok

U show me shege den i show u shegeshege, even my gf knows that i dont love to that extent.

I love and care with all i have but the moment u start treating me like trash, lobatan!! Waagba, me that my father sef know that if tins never spoil a no dey happy.
I like it wen tins spoil so that our eyes go clear..



Bros pls dont follow my advice ooh, a take God beg u ooh.

lomprico:
You are not fed up yet o, give her another 8yrs then if she does not change (which she will not) then u can japa since she has destroyed your relationship with your siblings and friends.
Abeg getat!

As she change on your wedding eve na dat time you for change am for am too, things for balance.

Exactly..

You can't continue living hopelessly in your own house. I won't support you forcing her to accommodate your siblings, so that she doesn't poison them one day. As difficult as this will be, you have to leave the house for your own sanity. Don't die young. Your wife is evil, and since her mother and siblings don't see anything wrong with her actions, then you are in for great misery.

Good luck to you.

My first question is , have you ever had one on one discussion with your wife about this topic? if no . Sit her down discuss with her , tell her that you are not happy with the way things are going in the house . If yes , ban her family members from coming to the house simple , you are the man of the house , not an house boy . Unless you want to remain an house boy for the rest of your life. 8years of marriage is just the begining of the journey . Look for older married couples that has being in the journey for over 30years , discuss with them, then get experience from them before caring out any action , before you will make a life time mistake.

You are a weakling.

Microwhy:

Exactly..

Abi na

I dont know why we men like enduring what that gender can not endure its half.

Noo, not me, i cant, i wil even punish her. Na only her go go for holiday for hin papa house if she taya., After three years she go come back.

She fit even come back to meet another woman, if she can cope she would stay, if she cant i wil rent her apartment for her outside and i wil let her know that am not restraining her from carrying men ooh, but i must not catch her.

I hate nonsense abeg

I struggle to understand why some men are weak. Guy, you no dey in-charge of your house!

Abi

OloshoMan:
You Saw all the signs and still went ahead with her...

I don't know why women do this in every family they enter. But she's cool with her own family coming over and not cool with yours. Very terrible. I can't even imagine any woman giving me such order... You mean my mom(who have been through hell for the family) and sisters (that I've known all my life)... I have to give them up for a stupid slut of a wife? Never.

I'd bury her in the backyard and file a missing person's report.

Yours is still at a state of redemption. My landlady lost her son and valuables to this. Nothing kill a man faster than staying put on his own shit. If she’s hard hearted, withdraw everything you’ve done for her if it’s in your name and make her leave your house and ifs it’s not in your name, gradually take out everything to safe keep till she feels she almost losing it all. Find time aswell go see your siblings, be happy, take them out and find your happiness. Life is full of options and freedom is all that makes a man

If your kins coming around irks her,let jers stop coming too.
Make it a law and stand by it.
Im a wife and dont support it.

Richpet85:
Please do not mind my english consider any error as typo but I honestly needed a sincere advice.

My marriage will be 8 years by September 2022. The journey of marriage has not been rosy and sometime I feel I made a very huge mistake by marrying my wife. I met her in April that year, we date for 6 months and we finally got married Sept same year. Prior before we got married I took her to meet with my siblings since my both parents were late specially our 2nd daughter who her husband sponsored my secondary education. She was cool with my family and never raised any concern during this period of courtship.

Suddenly a night of our wedding everything changed. That same woman that took care of my family as hers turned into directly opposite of who she used to be. To cut the story short, she started dispising my family and the thought of their sight irritates her.

She started by complaining about my sister's son living with me before we got married, her mum and other of my siblings to the point that anytime my eldest sister visited she will leave my house with tears.

My wife also ensure she send all my siblings and relations away from me and my house no go area for them. But what confuses me was that she doesn't behave in a similar manner whenever her own siblings or her mum visits our home. Her behaviour towards my family has destroyed the joy we once had as siblings. The marriage has produced 3 kids of which my last child is less than a month old. Anytime she put to bed her mother has always been the one coming for OMUGOO. None of my siblings can come to my house because of her attitude towards them.

I can't tolerate it further am dying silently as am typing this msg her mum, her immediate junior Sister are in my house and every where is very peaceful. If they were my mum or sibling my house would have been burning by now.

I made conscious effort to kill and ignore this feeling but anytime I see her mum and sister. I feel very depressed in my own house. There are other ill behaviour she have which I can tolerate but seeing myself separated from my siblings because of my wife is my greatest Marital night mare.

I am sincerely fade up with her but my kids are my greatest weakness. The thought of leaving my house and go far away from her or rather travel abroad and leave there permanently has recently overcrowded my mind. But I can't stop thinking about my kids, their future and what they will turn into if she is to raise them alone.

Don't forget I have provided her with everything needed to be comfortable in marriage, house, cars, business etc mostly importanly I am not cheating on her, I don't smoke, I don't keep late night and I don't have friends because she has sent everybody close to me away from my life.

I need a mature advice and no insult please.

I am emotionally trumatised and feel so depressed.

Omo you have carried egun elegun, go for couple’s therapy if you can or talk to her but you are in this already. Then again another option is divorce, it has never killed anyone and it will safe ur mental health. Your kids will be fine too. Na wetin Dey kill man prematurely be this

Richpet85:
Please do not mind my english consider any error as typo but I honestly needed a sincere advice.

My marriage will be 8 years by September 2022. The journey of marriage has not been rosy and sometime I feel I made a very huge mistake by marrying my wife. I met her in April that year, we date for 6 months and we finally got married Sept same year. Prior before we got married I took her to meet with my siblings since my both parents were late specially our 2nd daughter who her husband sponsored my secondary education. She was cool with my family and never raised any concern during this period of courtship.

Suddenly a night of our wedding everything changed. That same woman that took care of my family as hers turned into directly opposite of who she used to be. To cut the story short, she started dispising my family and the thought of their sight irritates her.

She started by complaining about my sister's son living with me before we got married, her mum and other of my siblings to the point that anytime my eldest sister visited she will leave my house with tears.

My wife also ensure she send all my siblings and relations away from me and my house no go area for them. But what confuses me was that she doesn't behave in a similar manner whenever her own siblings or her mum visits our home. Her behaviour towards my family has destroyed the joy we once had as siblings. The marriage has produced 3 kids of which my last child is less than a month old. Anytime she put to bed her mother has always been the one coming for OMUGOO. None of my siblings can come to my house because of her attitude towards them.

I can't tolerate it further am dying silently as am typing this msg her mum, her immediate junior Sister are in my house and every where is very peaceful. If they were my mum or sibling my house would have been burning by now.

I made conscious effort to kill and ignore this feeling but anytime I see her mum and sister. I feel very depressed in my own house. There are other ill behaviour she have which I can tolerate but seeing myself separated from my siblings because of my wife is my greatest Marital night mare.

I am sincerely fade up with her but my kids are my greatest weakness. The thought of leaving my house and go far away from her or rather travel abroad and leave there permanently has recently overcrowded my mind. But I can't stop thinking about my kids, their future and what they will turn into if she is to raise them alone.

Don't forget I have provided her with everything needed to be comfortable in marriage, house, cars, business etc mostly importanly I am not cheating on her, I don't smoke, I don't keep late night and I don't have friends because she has sent everybody close to me away from my life.

I need a mature advice and no insult please.

I am emotionally trumatised and feel so depressed.

When the devil or anything evil or an enemy wants to truly destroy you, they first get to isolate you from everyone that can come to your aid!

sylve11:
I just want to use this opportunity to tell anybody that'll listen to me.

If you sense multiple signs that do not tally with yours in your partner, please let him or her go before it's too late.

Some days ago, I met a guy I once knew in the neighbourhood in stitches. When I inquired what went wrong, the narration wasn't pleasant.

Please make a thread on this.

OP stick to this, you displayed so much weakness in handling of the matter from the first night

ArcSEMPECJ:
Is it really necessary to be a dummy for peace to rein?
And I ask........what kind of peace is that?

OP....marriage is not that time you wore suit and saw all your friends as best man and men on suit....

Marriage starts after the wedding night and a newly married couple always have imbalance for up to 4-6 months depending on what they have argued and allowed to exist....is a natural case not a kind of war ......

And am happy you recognized when your wife changed......
You too should have changed as well immediately, let there be war of balancing until a decision is reached but for you, you chose peace as a meek one which your wife , siblings and her Mum understood as weakness....

Don't be surprised that any day you try to shout to your wife, the younger brother may raise his hands to slap the hell out of you in your own house.....

Atimes , men go wrong, but they keep to their wrongs because of these weakness women understand from men whenever we fall for their decision....
Man up OP...have a meeting with your wife, decide what happens in your home.

whiteroses:
Do you give resources away to your siblings ? Or did they initially had a habit of assaulting or despising her and you turned a blind eye ?
There will be a reason why she loathes your family.
She’s not a house help that you can use her matter to play games. If she sensed that, she will fight back.
From your write up I can see that your family over steps their boundaries. They don’t need to be coming to your house often and act like they want to take over. If they are around your wife is the boss of all of them and cannot be relegated to the background.
She’s your other half. She’s more important to you than your family.
Two should become one and you ca no longer cleave to your sister.
Nonsense…Your wife is fighting for boundaries if you ask me. If your family has your balls in their pockets please free that babe.

Just look at justification.

Richpet85:
I never knew she will change like earlier. She was cool with my family and friends until d wedding night. Secondly, immediately after our marriage she started her Youth Service and my company redeployed me to another state. So we weren't actually together for almost 2years.
If I had saw this redflag initially I wouldnt have end up with such miserable life.

Finally I work with financial institution, I can't follow through such decision that required time aspect during annual leave which sometime is not enough to enable one take care of some challenging family issues.

Have you reported her to her family? If yes and she is still acting like a witch ban all your family from coming to your house and ban her family from coming to visit her, and stop her from going to her family too, let her know anytime she goes to her family, she must not return to your house, either of you can only talk to your respective family members over the phone, stop caring for her too much, but dnt stop taking care of your kids. By the time you make life miserable for her, she will wake up to reality.

When a woman is misbehaving to her in laws , there is a stup1d husband on the equation !

Tales of a thoroughly emasculated and defeated man. Oga, you are a weakling, and stop using children to mask your weakness. Your wife knows exactly what she is doing. In this scenario, designating you as the "wife" is a huge disservice to wifehood.

Heterodox:
If you can't stand on your own ya not a man.


Let that parasitic mentality go.

This is a very foolish talk! You'll still need your family in the long run!