Which is your favourite e-mail

The best mail is always hard to delete from the inbox and you try as much as possible to send to as many people as you could so that you could read over and over again.Which is your favourite mail.This is mine

Couldn't stop laughing and thought of how so applicable it is to you

WHAT MAKES U A "BLACK PERSON " or your name must be Coral

1. You unwrap all your gifts carefully, so that you can
reuse the wrapping.

2. You call a person you've never met before uncle or aunt.

3. More than 90% of the music CD's and cassettes in
your home are illegal copies

4. Your garage is always full of stuff because you
never throw anything away, just in case you need it
someday.(a gum boot without a partner and the baby
walker - baby's now 12 and you are 48)

5. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottle
from your stays at hotels. (Gocool, Sweet heart,African pride....)

6. You have almost always carry overweight baggage
when travelling by plane.

7. If a store has a limit on the quantity of a
product, then each member of the family will join separate queues
to purchase the maximum quantity possible. (sugar,soap,rice,
cooking fat etc etc during old good days)


8. All children have annoying nicknames.

9. Nobody in your family informs you that they are
coming over for a visit. ( uncle, wife, sis-in-law,
two nephews and a neighbour) have camped at home

10. You stuff your pockets with, mints and toothpicks
at restaurants. and Tesco M&S receipts (Murray mints, wrappers, and salt
shakers!)

11. Your mother has a minor disagreement with her
sister and does not talk to her for 10 years.



12. You only make telephone calls at a cheaper rate
at night (especially beepers).

13. You never have less than 20 people to meet you at
the airport or see you off even if it is a local
flight or you are only going away for three days.

14. You keep changing your Internet Service Provide
because the first month is free. (I know some people O!.....)

15. Office supplies mysteriously find their way to
your home.(Yes,staple machine, office pins, punch
machine,cellotapes, post-its,sugar, coffee etc.)

16. When you are young, your parents buy you clothes
and shoes at least two sizes too big so that they would last longer.

17. You have knickers that are 10 years old and refuse to throw away,
even if your daughter and family is begging for you to throw them away .
(Applicable to Coral only)

18. You know all the Tube stations in London, and you havent been there yet.

19. You call London Jandon or Jand.

20. When you don't know the source of your friend's wealth, you say he must be shady.

21. You eat Eba in the morning, but when you meet your boyfriend and he asks you
what you will like for breakfast, you say you will like to have
bacon, sausages, ham rolls with toast bread.

For me, it has to be this one:
This has got to be one of the most clever E-mails I've received in a while.

Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at
Scrabble.

(Wait till you see the last one)!


DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
>
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA: When you rearrange
the letters: TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

What a good research.
Do I really have time for this?

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know
where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch
when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room
for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the
channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.
Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do
this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I
paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a
choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then
there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there
must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What they on about?? Life is the
longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumass?

i love mamba and I AM HIGH's stuffs

I hate chain letters...

Yeah, me too. Especially the ones that say my love life won't be good if I don't send it to people. Generally, a chain letter doesn't continue past me...

Hey, Allenpowered! Here's what a missing alphabet can cause...I A[b]I[/b]M HIGH not I AM HIGH!!!

chain letters give me headache. Big one for that matter, especially whe they say i should continue reading and i will laugh, i will be especting then at the long run, i will only see something that made me forget to laugh. Or the one that will say my loved one will die if i don't forward!!!

WesleyanA,you mean you don't do any of those then BRAVO
Great liar

Dang Wes, Refine your post, that ain't right!

.

Oh Crap! Girl you trippping.

I am talking about the tone in your "english language", not that i didn't understand it.  The tone was harsh and it shouldn't be as it is. 

P.S: Were you not taught in your english class that "the first word in every sentence should be capitalized"? Tell me more about your command of the english language, when you can't even command your capitalization.

.

I don't hate you...(why would i hate someone i have never seen?) Anyways Love you too!

babe wahalla...

my tears of joy. why? they made up. who? wesley and hot angel . every one come lets all give ourselves a hug and cry these tears of joy booooo baaaaaaa

I think Olaide made a mistake, she meant to say you are NIGERIAN when you do those things and not BLACK. Especially for Numbers 19, 20 and 21.

IAH, Wes is a Nigerian. Legry, pack your tears.

I can imagine the stress you must have gone through to get that done i give you kudos.

WesleyanA: this isn't an english report. it's an irrelevant post/blog so i really don't have to worry about grammar rules!

WesleyanA, statements like that could get you banned on this forum.

You do have to mind your grammar and spelling when posting on Nairaland and this forum is definitely not irrelevant. Didn't I send you a link to the Internet Writing Guide, and haven't you seen the first draft of our Nairaland Forum Participation Guidelines? Please.

IAH and mamba, those are cool ones i ain't seen before. Olaide's chain letter depicts a Nigerian and of course Africans! The first time i received it, i had to forward it to specific friends who were so guilty.

I once attended a workshop with an African who had his coffee from the milk jug even when tea cups were provided. He also took the laundry bag from the hotel home!!

SATAN'S MEETING: (Read even if you're busy)


Satan called a worldwide convention of demons.

In his opening address he said,

"We can't keep Christians from going to church."

"We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth."

"We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their saviour."

"Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken."

"So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, BUT steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ.."

"This is what I want you to do," said the devil:

"Distract them from gaining hold of their Saviour and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!"

"How shall we do this?" his demons shouted.

"Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds," he answered.

"Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow."

"Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles."

"Keep them from spending time with their children."

"As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work!"

"Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice."

"Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive." To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical music constantly."

"This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ."

"Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers."

"Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day."

"Invade their driving moments with billboards."

"Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes.."

"Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands will believe that outward beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with their wives. "

"Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night."

"Give them headaches too! "

"If they don't give their husbands the love they need, they will begin to look elsewhere."

"That will fragment their families quickly!"

"Give them Santa Claus to distract them from teaching their children the real meaning of Christmas."

"Give them an Easter bunny so they won't talk about his resurrection and power over sin and death."

"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive."

"Have them return from their recreation exhausted."

"Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on God's creation. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies instead."

"Keep them busy, busy, busy!"

"And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences."

"Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Jesus."

"Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause."

"It will work!"

"It will work!"

It was quite a plan!

The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get busier and more rushed, going here and there.

Having little time for their God or their families.

Having no time to tell others about the power of Jesus to change lives.

I guess the question is, has the devil been successful in his schemes?

You be the judge!!!!!

Does "BUSY" mean: B-eing U-nder S-atan's Y-oke?

Please pass this on, if you aren't too BUSY!

I don't think I know 10 people who would admit they love Jesus.

Do You Love Him?

IF YOU LOVE JESUS, PASS THIS ON!!!!!!!

Seun:

WesleyanA: this isn't an english report. it's an irrelevant post/blog so i really don't have to worry about grammar rules!

WesleyanA, statements like that could get you banned on this forum.

You do have to mind your grammar and spelling when posting on Nairaland and this forum is definitely not irrelevant.  Didn't I send you a link to the Internet Writing Guide, and haven't you seen the first draft of our Nairaland Forum Participation Guidelines?  Please.

IAH and mamba, thanks. your posts made my day!

In particular, i give great kudos to the guy who composed the one IAH posted.

@ mamba
that was really cool.