Wait ooo, between lizard and igbo smokers, who like uncompleted bulding pass?

Which one be; shebi na toothpaste marry animal calling, this question took me two weeks to understand the meaning say na: shebi na Tuface marry Annie macauley, all this aboki ehn, God forbid.

Only in nigeria, goat will be eating and be looking at you, expecting you greet.

My wedding will be on a low key.... Just 20 invitees, i might not even attend, things hard these days.

Nollywood self, una own too much.... How will you be doing flashback of 1965 and a there is billboard of Davido holding infinix note 12.

Only in Nigeria football league, you will see a commentator laying curse on a player because he didn't pass the ball. You hear something like; Tunde ko ni da fun iya e, meaning Tunde it shall not be well with your mother. You also see a refree tie charm around waist because of player.

Nawa for uniben ooo, person apply for medecine and surgery them give forestry.

Fear naija girls ooo, i was with one girl phone the other day then fidelity bank message her; i'm at home, you can come.

Only Nigerian will come home and meet no light and he will ask; when dem take the light, so that he will do mathematics to know when next they are bringing the light.

Nollywood sef, 30 years later and the family fowl still dey alive.

Sprinklepee:
Wait ooo, between lizard and igbo smokers, who like uncompleted bulding pass?

Na igbo smokers.

Sprinklepee:
Only in nigeria, goat will be eating and be looking at you, expecting you greet.

Chaii na stone go greet that goat for head.

Sprinklepee:
Nollywood self, una own too much.... How will you be doing flashback of 1965 and a there is billboard of Davido holding infinix note 12.

Sprinklepee:
Only in Nigeria football league, you will see a commentator laying curse on a player because he didn't pass the ball. You hear something like; Tunde ko ni da fun iya e, meaning Tunde it shall not be well with your mother. You also see a refree tie charm around waist because of player.

Chaii Naija no dey carry last.

The rate of which egg is cost in this country ehn, e con be like say the fowl dey use operation dey born.

Them carry plumber con fix our kitchen pipe, now three meat dey miss for pot.

Things are getting costlier in this country day by day… Imagine a kilo of “I love you” that used to cost “I love you too”, is now sold at “send me money/credit or please sub for me”.

Guys am taking a break from WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and all social media platforms, this shit is addictive ooo. See y’all in five minutes. 😂😂

At my wedding Ceremony
Priest: you may now kiss the bride
Me: we’ve already fvcked, can we just pass to the lunch 😂😂

In 21st century; understand that the M in man stands for money 💰 while the W in woman stands for withdraw 💰

What will you do if you see your biological mother beating the woman that gave birth to you because of your parents? 😂😂

FROM DPO TO GOVERNOR: The new Divisional Police Officer of Trans Ekulu Police Station in Enugu decided to go incognito into the town to sample the population on the use of drugs. He asked a young man where he can find weed to buy. The young man dashed in and out of his house and brings him a package, he tells the DPO, “Na the original and good one be this”. The DPO smells the weed and asked him; “Do you know who I am?”. The young man answered, “No, why? The DPO said: “I am the Divisional Police Officer!”. The young man exclaimed; “Only smell you smell am, and you don become DPO, wetin go happen when you smoke am?, you go become the Enugu Governor na… 😂😂

Bill who Dey Eat you. Latest update from Single Boys Association (SBA)

No Android user will come to my Wedding, you can’t come and spoil my beauty

Four People That Can Easily Fnck Your Girlfriend
i. Her Boss
ii. Her Bestie
iii. Her Ex
iv. He’s just a friend
Don’t Trust These People 😂😂😂

Jamb released their results via mobile text messages. That’s how I overheard a mother asking her son what he scored and the boy said he was supposed to score 250 unfortunately he owes MTN 100 naira and they deducted it from his jamb score making it remaining 150. I don’t understand the students of nowadays anymore. 😂😂😂

Impregnating a girl in Europe is so nice that her parents will even buy you a car 😅 But in Nigeria, the curse alone will change your destiny 😅😂😂😂

This one that I’m seeing wedding ceremony everywhere, nobody should mistakenly marry my future wife ooh 😂

Love can make you see your boyfriend as the most handsome guy on earth 😅😷 Break up and see how ugly the idiot is 😂😂😂

Never trust a girl with a broken phone! If she can break her phone, then what is special in your heart?

When I started Facebook last year I sent a friend request to Nicky Minaj and she accepted! I was happy until she asked me to send her MTN credit 😂