pansophist:


A woman knows a man that is good for her, but a little adventure along the way is not bad, and to women, the adventure is his status, money, and lifestyle. She may have lots of good men on her list, but it's not just the destination (eg, good man + good woman = marriage), but the process (good rich handsome sexy man + woman = dream marriage) that makes the journey worth it for them.

It's like food, eating it cold doesn't reduce its nutrition, but we prefer it at a particular temperature, to make the act of eating worthwhile. I mean, men also know women that are good for them but will turn a lot down if she doesn't look a certain way. I don't know about you, but for me, yansh is important

Because at the end of the day, we are not machines that are programmed for a mission strictly, but we want to enjoy the process, to make the destination (marriage) worthy. I am not justifying, for, or against anything, just laying out the framework of how modern people go into marriage.

But wait o, this idea of expecting a woman to contribute equally should not apply to girls that marry young, so let's say from her early to mid 20ś, because, in the meat of this discourse, it seems like women are lumped into one box, and their individual circumstances are lost in arguments.

Which money do you expect a woman in the above age bracket to have? Most men at that age are even dead broke, especially in Nigeria. Furthermore, women are highly impressionable, and in a time where social media is having more influence on girls than religion, it should not come as a surprise that the fairy tale marriage sold online would be seen as their ideal, instead of how marriage actually is.

cc: LordAdam16

atheistandproud:


Na only ad hominems na we sabi. I don't know if it stems from our inadequacies with the English language or a collective deficit in logical reasoning.

pansophist:


One girl on my contact list shared a post about how a woman will submit to a man that takes her around the world, buy everything she ever wants, and respects her. She is now telling men that submission will come naturally to a woman when a man treats her like that. That man should not force submission.

And I was like, even I will submit to any woman that will give me that treatment. Submission should not be gender specific. I mean, I go wash plates, pound fufu, babysit, and clean the house. I will be a full-time house-husband. I kukuma sabi cook

LordAdam16:


Your points appear valid, but I have objections.

Pregnancy and breast feeding are the only non-transferable responsibilities.

Well, women have fewer kids today than they did in the past. 2-4 which they must have before menopause. Pregnancies do not impede quality of life until the third trimester. Last I checked, all economies are acquiescing to generous maternity leaves.

In fact, I'm fully onboard giving women in the workforce better benefits to make up for the very valuable role of refreshing the labor pool. That can be arranged.

For breastfeeding, it'd interest you to know that we used to have thriving professionals called wet nurses. We need more of them. They'll be sufficiently-paid with pension, vacation, dental plans...

Childcare has already been commoditized. Working class women in the West can attest to that. We need to (and can) apply the same economic realities to accommodate the other two key functions--pregnancy and breast-feeding. It can be done.

If she earns more, she'd have to foot more of the bills. As she would if she were single. Welcome to being an adult.

Men pay for all these things already when they can afford it. From IVF to surrogates to wet nurses to child care to babysitters. Go ask around about the cost of daycare currently. If women are beginning to extract economic value through good salaries, they CANNOT balk at those responsibilities. Someone has been paying for them.

I do not see the OP's writeup as bashing high-earning women. To whom much is given, much is expected. I don't see why you would call a woman paying to give birth to her own kid and raise her own kid "suffering". If she's high-earning, she can afford it. If she can afford it, she should pay for it.

Broke men have it worse than broke women. Cry me a river.

Now, that we've focused on money, you've brought up character. Let them marry the touts and yahoo boys and "mould" them into the type of men they desire. That is what society have been advising men for millennia.

The common theme I see in your writeup is a propensity to allow women to shirk responsibility.

It took men literally tens of thousands of years to begin to like having responsibility. Women should be made to go through that baptism of fire as well.

Early men kept their women and kids in caves and went out to hunt predators that could snap them in two. I'm sure they'd have appreciated the help if women were biologically able to be resourceful in this life-and-death situation. They did not see it as suffering to brave danger for their families. But you want to make the argument that a high-earning woman taking a maternity leave or pay cut (that is a tiny percentage of her lifetime earnings) for her own family is "suffering" in the 21st century.

And the value of men is not only in their ability to foot bills. When SHTF, you want a man in your corner as a woman, whether you are Mackenzie Scott or broke Tina. So footing most bills just to have a man who'd have a vested interest in the safety of you and your kids sounds like a fair trade to me. Her taxes already go to men in the police force and military providing security.

And yes, if she becomes so resentful that she divorces him, he should get spousal support for being part of the marital unit when the going was good. Or my favorite argument, to support the lifestyle that he has become accustomed to.

Women cannot have it good for more than 100,000 years, then when it gets to the turn of men to mill around and be taken care of, you guys start talking about "seeing it from a woman's perspective." Who her perspective epp?

The good thing is the percentage of high-earners who are female will continue to rise. Demography is destiny.

-Lord

emmaodet:




My brother, even me sef go submit give the woman.
You mean my wife will take me round the world for submitting to her? and still respect me join? give me money/upkeep? while trying her best to bang the shit out of me?
What else can a man pray for? bikonu
If na submision be her problem, i get am plenty biko

atheistandproud:


I was referring to working class ladies that have decent paying jobs na. These ladies are usually in the 27 to 40 category. Not the young ones.

As for the second part, men are a lot more realistic when it comes to life. Too many ladies live in la-la land. Make dem dey find Disney princess wedding na.

Konjiboii:



If there are soo keen to take the reins then they better read the terms and conditions well , and there's no take backs. It's not even hard to toast a man, just say hi and he will do the rest.

pansophist:


Na small thing remain, I wan remind the girl say, this is Nigeria, but I just resisted the urge to shalaye. We broke for this country. Less than 7% of men have one million naira in their account, and I'm being generous with that number. Even 1M naira sef na like 1500 usd, can't buy a return ticket to Canada.

All these things about high status male are easy to fantasize, but the realities on ground must not be ignored. Such men exist mostly on social media, and the one in real life have so many options of women to pick from, that you're probably not his first choice.

But I can always trust women to believe they are special, and it's other girls that will marry the Uber driver, and not her. She believes in her own exceptionalism, until reality sets in.

pansophist:


Her standards and tactics increases as she grow older. So it's reasonable for a man to increase his expectations from her we well. Our money is our money.

But honestly, after looking at from different angles, measuring it with tape, surveying and scrutinizing the matter under microscopic conditions, I've come to the conclusion that the best time for a woman to get married is in her early 20's, and the man in his early 30's.

Of course any age have its downsides, but the struggles a young girl will face getting married is better than the one she will face if she gets married older.

HellVictorinho6:
who are u to speak 4 all women?

randymirrors:


I'm a woman and can tell you 100% that she's right.

HellVictorinho6:
so, u cannot be nice to me is it because am hell

randymirrors:


But that's not the issue here. Was only confirming what she said about women.

randymirrors:


But that's not the issue here. Was only confirming what she said about women.

Konjiboii:

Bro the world was built by men to protect women. Women have bird brains and don't have sense and maybe they are just bored of being a carer in a home, I will GLADLY switch places and be a house husband as long as my needs are met, I will do laundry like I already myself,cook like I already do myself and clean the house.this is the barest minimum and they will still have some time to read a good novel and enough breaks to drink red wine and smoke weed in between.. please abeg stop brainwashing this women as if they are all deserving of 247 princess treatment.

pansophist:
To be fair to the women, it's not a good deal to carry both the financial burden of the home, and also her own biological burden that can't be transferred to the man (eg pregnancy, breastfeeding, child care, etc)

And in most cases, when a woman assumes her biological duty (eg being pregnant), then her earning stops, and a man that earns equally or higher will sustain the lifestyle that she is used to.

Bashing high earning women make it seems like it's a punishment for a woman to be successful. And if she is not successful, modern man will see her as a liability. Women are caught between two tight corners. If she makes money, she suffers somehow. If she doesn't makes money she also suffers.

If that's the options you have, then it makes sense to suffer while having her own money, because the last time I checked, broke women are not getting married too. In fact more broke women are unmarried than wealthy women.

Also, wealthy women can marry tomorrow if they downgrade their standards, but a broke woman is like Ukraine, at the mercy of everyone. That's a sad place to be, and it can only get worse.

So please, pity women small. Cut them some slack. Also, many of these women ain't just looking for a man with money. Quite frankly, they have lots of those men. But lots of men thinks having money is enough, and these women wants a husband material as well, not a money material only.

Yahoo boys and lots of touts have money, but these women will pass them. It's not just money. It takes more. Anyways, see it from a woman's perspective. These things are not black and white.

MechanicMike:



Bro .so are u sayin Yor wife have a priiick sir?(no offenscce)

Evolutionlove:
Post Saved.

Welldone OP.

You see most of these modern Nigerians ladies are nothing to write home about. I don't really blame them. As usual, I blame the men who lost their prowess to what's in between their thighs.

But to be honest i am enjoying this show. Evening newspapers both men and women just full everywhere these days😂

kkins25:

Are men any different? The greatest threat to another man is his fellow man.

Johnholt909:
The truth of the matter is; marry a woman who would give you a rest of mind. Avoid drama queens.

pansophist:


Na small thing remain, I wan remind the girl say, this is Nigeria, but I just resisted the urge to shalaye. We broke for this country. Less than 7% of men have one million naira in their account, and I'm being generous with that number. Even 1M naira sef na like 1500 usd, can't buy a return ticket to Canada.

All these things about high status male are easy to fantasize, but the realities on ground must not be ignored. Such men exist mostly on social media, and the one in real life have so many options of women to pick from, that you're probably not his first choice.

But I can always trust women to believe they are special, and it's other girls that will marry the Uber driver, and not her. She believes in her own exceptionalism, until reality sets in.

ItisWell22:
Well written. 🙌

Going by the arguments being put forward on the 1st page of this post, you’ll find out that a lot of us live in delusion, and it hits women the most.

Like a friend of mine would say, hard as it may sound, “the world is rigged against women!”

The ?woke ones may try so hard to argue, but it is what it is.

As we try to become more masculine, losing touch with our femininity, we alter nature; and nature would always fight back.

1 simple instance:
Check out the ladies who married men below.
At 1st they preach and shout “being supportive”
Over time, many of them get frustrated.
They want to be loved and pampered by a man.
It works out for some, no doubt; but what’s the incidence or prevalence?

Persephone1:
When I read posts like this and the previous ones on frontpage, a question always plague me . It is "Them use marriage swear for we Africans"? The truth is it is as if the existence of the average African centers on "copulation" and "reproduction" Hey that's me, removing the sugar coated word you use to beautify the quoted words which is MARRIAGE. Ask an average Nigerian the essence of marriage then you will realize it doesn't go beyond easy and justified access to sex and reproduction. So it baffles me, when people type lengthy posts discussing "prick and toto" matter everytime.

If women are becoming masculine because they earn then men should go farther by offering more than money in their relationship. It's very simple.

kkins25:

Are men any different? The greatest threat to another man is his fellow man.

Gerrard59:


While I understand the angle you criticise OP's post from, the reality is: some of the women's liberation policies are reasons many developed countries have low birth rates. It is a catch-22 situation. The more educated a woman is, the fewer children she bears. For these developed countries, they are caught between reversing the birth rates (many have tried unsuccessfully) and accepting immigrants in large numbers (mainly black Africans and Arabs). I do agree that men have to offer more than just money in society, ditto women (more than sex and procreation). For instance, should Nigeria be as rich as Malaysia, wahlai! Many Nigerian women will not marry Nigerian men, I am sure of that.

In the developed world, marriage rates ditto birth rates are down and fast declining, so while women's liberation was and is good, there are societal consequences to contend with. So, it is a real issue.

With our constant visit to the labour room, yearly naming ceremonies, and kids running around homes in numbers of football team per house. What have we achieved as a nation or continent at large Gerrard? Oh well if overpopulation, degenerated health, education, political and economic system, high mortality rate counts at least we have achieved a lot in that aspect. Our professionals
(these ones are lucky to become professionals after years of hardship, theoretical trainings, strikes, sex for grades, cults victimization, frustrating lectures etc) keep leaving in masses every day to become second class citizens and bumbum washers in "developed" who are wise enough to control their population in accordance with available resources.

Really? What have we gained with our numbers?

Developed countries are wise, do not mistake their open borders for lack of human resources. We both know the following.
1) Most opened labour for immigrants are strenuous and they don't want to do them.
2) Unlike their citizens, immigrants can be sent parking whenever they seem fit.
3) if they want to increase their population by child bearing it's a matter of making non contradictory rules and follow up. But do they want this no. Why? It will take them more years and resources to build the society they want with their own citizen than having immigrants do the job.

Also if this counts as achievement, we have high rate of frauds and international recognition for it . Is it not best to cut our coats according to our clothes?

You are right about one thing though, should Nigeria be rich as Malaysia, Nigerian women won't date Nigerian Men. Which brings the question what really is the drive of Nigerians Relationships?

Persephone1:
With our constant visit to the labour room, yearly naming ceremonies, and kids running around homes in numbers of football team per house. What have we achieved as a nation or continent at large Gerrard? Oh well if overpopulation, degenerated health, education, political and economic system, high mortality rate counts at least we have achieved a lot in that aspect. Our professionals
(these ones are lucky to become professionals after years of hardship, theoretical trainings, strikes, sex for grades, cults victimization, frustrating lectures etc) keep leaving in masses every day to become second class citizens and bumbum washers in "developed" who are wise enough to control their population in accordance with available resources.

Really? What have we gained with our numbers?

Developed countries are wise, do not mistake their open borders for lack of human resources. We both know the following.
1) Most opened labour for immigrants are strenuous and they don't want to do them.
2) Unlike their citizens, immigrants can be sent parking whenever they seem fit.
3) if they want to increase their population by child bearing it's a matter of making non contradictory rules and follow up. But do they want this no. Why? It will take them more years and resources to build the society they want with their own citizen than having immigrants do the job.

Also if this counts as achievement, we have high rate of frauds and international recognition for it . Is it not best to cut our coats according to our clothes?

You are right about one thing though, should Nigeria be rich as Malaysia, Nigerian women won't date Nigerian Men. Which brings the question what really is the drive of Nigerians Relationships?

kkins25:
Such nations also care about marriage,and are equally as interested in it as we are. Atleast, we are even interested in marriage, nd not onlyfans.

The only reason develop countries have low birth rates is not because, they were more sensible controlling their population. Infact, their population blew up so bad, they came to steal our resources, bot just ours but from other continents as well.. So, No, they are not smarter. Also, there is a more complex interplay of economic factors that makes sub Sahara africans disadvantaged..


Infact, the only reason, the west has thrived, iduto geopolitics. Bring all d white men down to africa, deyd become gorilla's in a few centuries 😂

Gerrard59:


While I understand the angle you criticise OP's post from, the reality is: some of the women's liberation policies are reasons many developed countries have low birth rates. It is a catch-22 situation. The more educated a woman is, the fewer children she bears. For these developed countries, they are caught between reversing the birth rates (many have tried unsuccessfully) and accepting immigrants in large numbers (mainly black Africans and Arabs). I do agree that men have to offer more than just money in society, ditto women (more than sex and procreation). For instance, should Nigeria be as rich as Malaysia, wahlai! Many Nigerian women will not marry Nigerian men, I am sure of that.

In the developed world, marriage rates ditto birth rates are down and fast declining, so while women's liberation was and is good, there are societal consequences to contend with. So, it is a real issue.

LordAdam16:


I did not want to bring this up because it's an issue the governments are hellbent on solving, while a good section of the elites seem to prefer a low replacement rate to tackle overpopulation

And what thanks does society get? You don't want kids anymore (so which person's kid should take care of you in your old age?). You want to be exempted from the draft. You don't want to work in physically-intensive jobs. You do not want to marry and be the bread winner of your home with the high salary you get.

So for the love of all things sacred, what is your purpose? Why do you get to enjoy all the perks of a modern civilization built on the backs of so much blood and tears, if a lot of your actions destabilizes and truncates humanity's progress. If a politician starts campaigning to exclude women from the workforce so men can take their place and assume the responsibilities they do not want to shoulder, you'll see them wear pink hats and hyperventilate. He would not drop the mic before he is canceled.

To be honest with you, I'm done coddling that gender. Even if we solve the ectogenesis problem and invent superintelligent AI that makes the low replacement rate a non-issue; I can assure you that they have an excuse ready for why they can't have an artificial womb birth them babies or robots mind the kids.

-Lord

Persephone1:
With our constant visit to the labour room, yearly naming ceremonies, and kids running around homes in numbers of football team per house. What have we achieved as a nation or continent at large Gerrard? Oh well if overpopulation, degenerated health, education, political and economic system, high mortality rate counts at least we have achieved a lot in that aspect. Our professionals
(these ones are lucky to become professionals after years of hardship, theoretical trainings, strikes, sex for grades, cults victimization, frustrating lectures etc) keep leaving in masses every day to become second class citizens and bumbum washers in "developed" who are wise enough to control their population in accordance with available resources.

Really? What have we gained with our numbers?

Developed countries are wise, do not mistake their open borders for lack of human resources. We both know the following.
1) Most opened labour for immigrants are strenuous and they don't want to do them.
2) Unlike their citizens, immigrants can be sent parking whenever they seem fit.
3) if they want to increase their population by child bearing it's a matter of making non contradictory rules and follow up. But do they want this no. Why? It will take them more years and resources to build the society they want with their own citizen than having immigrants do the job.

Also if this counts as achievement, we have high rate of frauds and international recognition for it . Is it not best to cut our coats according to our clothes?

You are right about one thing though, should Nigeria be rich as Malaysia, Nigerian women won't date Nigerian Men. Which brings the question what really is the drive of Nigerians Relationships?