I have been dating a guy for about 3yrs now and about a month ago,someone in PH where my guy is living claimed 2 have been seeing me coming to visit my guy and at the same time going to visit other guys.All this while my guy didnt tell me cos according to him,the guy in question told his own sister and the sister told my guy's elder sister.When my guy's elder sister called my guy,he explained everything to her that am not that type of person,she agreed and two of them(my guy n his sister) agreed to let the matter die.Last week my guy travelled his home town for the elder brother's marriage,behold,the sister of the who brought up this story had gone to report to my guy's parents that the girl their son wants to get married to is dating other men and even before my guy got home they had concluded that they were not going to let him get married to me.My problem now is that,the text msg I sent to my guy's younger brother is being misinterpreted.When I went for the marriage,though my guy warned me not to go,but I felt he just fabricated the story cos he told the whole thing just a day before the brother's marriage,I noticed the brothers were not happy with me so I sent one of them a txt msg,that they should knw am not desperate ro get married to their brother and that I've never cheated on him rather,he's the one that has done that to me.I also said in the txt msg that my hrt is bitter cos I didn't do it and that it won't b well 4 d guy who cooked up this story.Now,my guy's pple are saying I insulted them,my guy has never ceased to blame me,they're all on one side while am alone,I even asked him yesterday if he's going to leave me but he couldn't reply cos from what I see,their parents control them.What do I do?Am so bitter,my hrt hasn't known peace since this started,I can't eat,I can't sleep cos am always crying,Hw can someone spoil my name this way?Nw they've diverted their attention to the txt msg I sent.Please I need serious advice here cos my hrt is broken.

Just leave the mofo and move on with your life. Other guys will come along. Did you say he cheated on you?

my guy,the guy,my guy,the guy,my guy, haba!u wan confuse person??
In short,someone lied against you and your guy and his family have chosen to believe it shey??
For having had a three year relationship with this guy and he still chooses to believe stuff he hears frome third parties about you,it tells me there's no TRUST involved in the relationship and without it,many things will go wrong.
If you've proved your innocence and they still dont belive you especially in a case of infidelity like this,they'll always have reasons to DOUBT u.move it fast!!

I feel the pains in your heart, i think you shouldn't have sent that text but as it stands now, relax cos God is judge and He will judge this case in Jesus Christ name

@afam4eva,it's not dat easy to start dating sm1 else.He cheated on me bt dat was last yr n we moved on bt I av neva cheated on him
@slimyem,If I made u confused wit 'my guy' 'the guy',the guy is d person dat forged d story n if u saw errors in d msg,pls bear wit me cos am confused right nw.My guy didn't blieve,he's only mad at for going to their place after he warned me not to go and for also sending d txt msg.
@meanman404,That's d only way am going to get out of this situation,AMEN to that

Am with you in prayers. Your accusers will not go free. I beg you to pls relax

@Meanman404,Thanks,am grateful.Trying 2 relax seems 2 be d hardest thing for me 2 do now bt am stil trying my best.

The joy of the Lord is your strenght

Take it easy its going to be alrite.Your guy told you not to go to the wedding but you didnt trust his judgement about his own family and now look where you are i hope next time both of you will come to an agreement about what to do and not to do. I believe you can resolve this, but you need a lot of patience hopefully with time he will come around.

Amen

@adromida,Sincerely,I felt he only brought up d story 2 stop me from going cos he neva told me abt it even b4 it got 2 d parents.I was wit him in Ph last wk n I noticed he didn't wnt me 2 go 4 d wedding,dat was y I stubbornly went,nw am regretting evrything.

Well whats done is done. Talk to him and try to resolve all the issues troubling you guys, seems that easy to me.

@adromida,That's not d issue,d family nw assume I sent the txt msg 2 insult n curse all of them whereas I sent d txt 2 the brother,explaining 2 him I didn't do anytin like that n that the person that said it will neva knw peace.I was cursing the guy who forged the story,bt evrybody in his family is claiming I sent the msg 2 insult them.Talking 2 my guy isn't the problem,my problem is the family n that's y is furious wit me that I didn't listen 2 him in the first place,if I had not gone 4 d wedding all these won't happen,that's d reason he's very angry wit me bt deep inside me n Wit God as my witness,I didn't insult any of them,I only wnted them 2 knw,am nt what that guy said I am.

slimyem:


For having had a three year relationship with this guy and he still chooses to believe stuff he hears from third parties about you,it tells me there's no TRUST involved in the relationship and without it,many things will go wrong.
If you've proved your innocence and they still dont believe you especially in a case of infidelity like this,they'll always have reasons to DOUBT u.

I think that makes sense. Its good to guard a relationship from intruders. But ouch family issues.Its starting on a wrong note.
But to encourage you sweetheart, Don't cry yourself to sleep. Lemmie tell you something.Some fights are best won in silence.
Not defence.
When you have done everything you know is right you rest and let God fight some battles on your behalf cz the more you react and try to defend yourself the more guilty you sound and you wear out very fast.
Take heart, if your guy is not on your defense I doubt theres anything you can do for now. Let conscience deal with him and he may soon come back to his senses. But for the sake of your heart,keep yourself busy with work,hobby,sorround yourself with positive friends and your heart will slowly heal as your mind thinks less and less of him.
All will be well.

Thanks pendo89,am trying all that but the more I think of it,d more am getting drained wit tears,I'll try harder,I knw definitely,God will vindicate me just dat my patience is worn out bt again,If I don't trust in Him,who will vindicate me,man?Thanx once again

anthoniaz:

Thanks pendo89,am trying all that but the more I think of it,d more am getting drained wit tears,I'll try harder,I knw definitely,God will vindicate me just dat my patience is worn out bt again,If I don't trust in Him,who will vindicate me,man?Thanx once again

No man is worth your tears and when you find the good man he will not make you cry like you are doing now.
Listen dear,when somebody breaks your heart,cry a river,build a bridge and walk over it.
Build a bridge now not a wall and stop trying too hard to make his family believe you cz family bonds are very strong.
Be your usual self and be the good girl you have always been.The girl he fell in love with.
Get out there and spend time doing stuff you love. Go shopping,jog,dance,sing,just keep busy.You will notice other people if you do so and you will discover how nice and warm they are.
Time is the best healer. You will discover that.
cheers.

I can only imagine what u are going through.
It's not easy when the issue involves the future in-law
my sister just let things lie for now
if that guy is truely urs, he'll sort things out with his family and come
back to you and eventually marry you.
But if he can't convince his family u are not that type of person and make them
regard you with respect, then i would advice you to stop struggling to make things alright
coz u will not have peace in that family as a wife.

@Pendo89,thanks so much
@tessybaby,u're right,thanks too

Wat d heck r u doing with a MaMONNa aka Mama's Boy. I knw it hurts so bad, ur guy do dis ur guy do dat bt u shud knw dat wat will b will always b. If both of u r meant 2 b 2geda his parents cant come in btw.
If u love sumtn set it free if it comes back 2 u den it is urs bt if it doesnt it was neva urs. Kpelle ma dear sisi dont mind dose in-'laws from hell bad belles
after all wen a door closes two windiows open

Apologise to your man again, he will do the rest with his family.Pls stop crying and depressing yourself. you cant force the family to believe in you and next time dont be quick to send txt mssgs to the brother telling them you are not desperate to marry their brother people interprete things differently and sincerely that txt mssg was in bad taste, there are other ways to get ur pt across.

@beka911,thanks.
@andromida,I sent a msg yesterday apologising 2 the brother.I told him I didn't refer 2 them cos it's normal 4 them 2 protect their brother,I told him,I was referring 2 the guy who has succeeded in spoiling my name.I later sent another msg 2 d brother telling him 2 help me tell d two elder sisters I wasn't referring 2 them and I knw I went 2 far cursing the guy.Thanks 2 all of u

U've done your best, leave the rest.

Hi Anthonia . . . Ur story is quite pathetic but if u r prayerful, take that situation as a sign that u r not meant to be with that dude. . . . ragardless of the number of years uv spent together. Remember that God works in mysterious ways. Pray about it. If it persists, leave him and thank God for saving u from that family marriage. If ur man does not trust u, he cannot defend u b4 his family. Hoping in him will always be disastrous.

Goodluck!

@andromida,Thanks so much.Are u on 2go or facebook?Guess I need pple like u 2 talk to,am lacking friends

Thanks creamish,God is the only helper and defender I av.I blieve there's nothing He can't do and I've learnt from this 2 be more prayerful instead of being relaxed,I thank Him 4 evrything.Thanx once more.

@OP why break your head for someone who isn't worth the stress?  

I have a friend who hasn't talked to his family for 7 months just because they accused his gf of being a "bad girl" and "a bad influence to him". According to him, "no one has any right to yarn s.hit about his girlfriend except him". He knows what his gf is capable of and so doesn't listen to petty gossips.

If someone really loves you, why in the world will the person not trust you? Unless the person has caught you in the alleged act or has seen you misbehaving in ways that may point that the accusations are true. If not, stop living in denial and walk . . . . If he would choose his family over you, what if you guys should end up getting married, don't you think the situation is going to be worse then? Now he believes his family, tomorrow maybe he'll believe his friends, another day he might believe his gate man and yet another other day, he might believe a dog barking at you means something is up your sleeves and so and so fort.

Why will you want to stay with someone who both himself and the rest of his family are bound to connive against you at any time and then in the end, they leave you bitter, shattered and heart broken or do you enjoy living in dismay? One thing I've learnt in life is never to kill oneself over someone who isn't worth it as You will only make yourself look petty, needy and pathetic at the end of it all. . . . .  

Thanks Lindabon

anthoniaz:

@beka911,thanks

ur welcome ma dear u deserve d best dont settle for less. God will always make a way 4 u and he is ur refuge. Just chanel ur energy into sumtin positive rather dan drowning in tears and regretting

next time do not send any sms and please be an obedient servant.

@safo,if u have a sister dat is an ashawo am not like dat,who asked u 2 blieve me anyway?What is wrong with u,if am guilty,why wuld I brood over it?Pls pls pls,I neva asked 4 ur comment,I have an issue on my hand dat is giving me headache here.Read d story very well,I never said my accused me of being guilty,he knows hw he met,he's only angry dat I didnt listen 2 him.Next time when u wnt 2 post ur silly comment,take it elsewhere u fool.It's ur generation dat is ashawo