Funny situation,it's a win win situation for you,keep the child as yours cos you might not be able to father any children till you die,at least that way you got a cover up and test yourself outside marriage to see if your treatment works and if it does get another woman pregnant secretly, make children with her but still keep your wife and the lie,life goes on bro.

Romangalactic:
I'll try to keep my predicament short. I registered a new account for this purpose but I'm sure many of you will understand that sterility is not something to be announced which is exactly how I got myself in this situation. I am 35 and engaged to a beautiful woman who completes me in every way. As much as it hurts me to say this, I have not been totally honest with her about everything.
Just yesterday while we were home together, she told me that she is pregnant . I asked her how sure she is, she said she had done the pee test and that she knows how she is feeling. The issue here is that I am sterile but I have not told her this before so it is impossible that I am responsible.

Please before anyone tells me I deserve this for not opening up to her, I have been undergoing treatment secretly and they say I will be able to father children when it's done so of course, I am hopeful and have not bothered to inform her about any of this. I can't stand losing her for any reason. My issue right now is that I asked my endocrinologist this morning if it's possible that the treatment is already working and he said we have not gone far enough to see any results yet. This means I am definitely not the father of the child she is carrying.

Only one other person in this world knows about my health challenge and that is my cousin. I told him and he told me to break up with my fiancée, someone I have already done introduction with and families are involved. I told him I cannot and that he must take the secret to the grave, he thinks I am making the biggest mistake of my life.
Well I told him my plan is to accept the pregnancy and continue to make her think I don't know she cheated on me. I am doing this with the hope that after we get married, my treatment will be completed and everything will be back to normal. But at the same time, I still can't shake the feeling that I am about to marry someone who cheated and is passing off another man's child as mine, I feel cheated and it hurts.

Can anyone else please tell me what to do about this situation I have found myself? Please I just need to hear from other people besides my cousin. Another thing, he has never really liked my fiancée so I feel that also may be his motivation.
I need neutral opinions please

how would feel seeing this child everyday and knowing ure raising a bastard? It'll deprive u of ur joy and, inner peace.. Uve made a mistake before by not telling her initially, don't make the second one... She should f**k off

About to be a father? The worst form of lie is the one we lie to console our stupidity.

Something tells me you have been eating the forbidden fruit with her.
So, wait until after delivery, go for paternity test.
Before you finally conclude that she cheated on you, do the paternity text after delivery.
Miracles happens. You could have been healed.
Your body could have tolerated the treatment faster than anticipated.
Be wise, and only conclude with evidence.

adontcare:
Oga open up to the Lady and tell her the truth. Tell her how far u v gone with treatment. If possible take her to see ur doctor. She know who d real father is. If it is u, then God be praised ur kini is working

[b][/b]

Romangalactic:
I'll try to keep my predicament short. I registered a new account for this purpose but I'm sure many of you will understand that sterility is not something to be announced which is exactly how I got myself in this situation. I am 35 and engaged to a beautiful woman who completes me in every way. As much as it hurts me to say this, I have not been totally honest with her about everything.
Just yesterday while we were home together, she told me that she is pregnant . I asked her how sure she is, she said she had done the pee test and that she knows how she is feeling. The issue here is that I am sterile but I have not told her this before so it is impossible that I am responsible.

Please before anyone tells me I deserve this for not opening up to her, I have been undergoing treatment secretly and they say I will be able to father children when it's done so of course, I am hopeful and have not bothered to inform her about any of this. I can't stand losing her for any reason. My issue right now is that I asked my endocrinologist this morning if it's possible that the treatment is already working and he said we have not gone far enough to see any results yet. This means I am definitely not the father of the child she is carrying.

Only one other person in this world knows about my health challenge and that is my cousin. I told him and he told me to break up with my fiancée, someone I have already done introduction with and families are involved. I told him I cannot and that he must take the secret to the grave, he thinks I am making the biggest mistake of my life.
Well I told him my plan is to accept the pregnancy and continue to make her think I don't know she cheated on me. I am doing this with the hope that after we get married, my treatment will be completed and everything will be back to normal. But at the same time, I still can't shake the feeling that I am about to marry someone who cheated and is passing off another man's child as mine, I feel cheated and it hurts.

Can anyone else please tell me what to do about this situation I have found myself? Please I just need to hear from other people besides my cousin. Another thing, he has never really liked my fiancée so I feel that also may be his motivation.
I need neutral opinions please

u might b d father once happened to my broda he was told he can't father a child he tried his luck boom his girlfriend became pregnant he didn't hesitate to ask her to keep it.they got married he tried again another child.so don't b in a haste to conclude.once ur child is born go for dna just act like a husband to her till she puts to bed.pls don't forget to update us later in 9 mths time

There are two things involved, it's either you're the father or she cheated on you. A DNA test will unleash the truth probably after four months but that's gonna be difficult since she doesn't know your predicament. So, i guess you'll have to wait until after the kid is born. Everybody will be alright las las. Cheers

You say you love this woman. You know there is that 5% chance that the baby is yours? If you accuse her of infidelity and the child is yours you might lose her forever. You might still be together but the dynamics of your relationship might change.

Also what makes you think she doesn't know that you are sterile?

Has she ever given you cause to doubt? And something you said, that I found interesting. This baby will stop families asking why you haven't had children. That it will save face for both of you.

Your secret might not be so secret after all

Guy u don't need to tell me that u r not leaving a peaceful and happy life... Just say the truth... There is peace in truth.

@wackyj1

NICOGRAVITY:
Simple, just hold on, don't Wed yet. Wait until baby is born. Do paternity text.
Then make your decision.
It's possible you are the Father.

Most sensible advice is above...

Either that or threaten her in a hilarious stylish fashion as described much earlier

If she knows your predicament, she go bring child from the next door mallam/ gateman.. Next tomorrow she fit put your cousin join, so your family people no go dey talk say the different pickin no look like their broda.... .

You dare to talk.. She go threaten to release your secrets!!!!



For those singing Self preservation......He he and so wetin.... For dis Lagos where girls dey harsh!!

Leave trash for LAWNA jare

Mcccheeeewwwwws.



.

keepingmum:
you both suit each other......both liars, pretenders and deceitful individuals. If you are not willing to share your health challenges but rather fraudulently decieve someone into marriage with you, you deserve EVERY kind of deceit /fraud perpetrated by any partner of yours

He did not deceive her into marriage. He just never spoke of the sterility. They are two different things.

What happens when, after the marriage, she brings another pregnancy to you? Darling, she will say, we have another on the way..... Few years later, another on the way.... How will you feel? You both are not good for ur selves. Honesty and transparency, zero.... Well, except this baby is really yours.this is an unfortunate position you are in.

OP, it's better to set things right now, because imagine after this one, if she gets pregnant again would you believe it yours? . Their are things someone can keep quiet about certainly no this.

It beats my Imagination , why a sterile /Woman insist on getting married.

Just remain Single and be Happy

Sanchez01:
Whatever your reasons are for not telling her holds no water. You established the relationship on a lie and deceit and it is somewhat hilarious that you are not sure whether or not you are getting the same treatment right now.

While I don't want to authoritatively assert that she cheated, I feel your best chance right now is to wait after nine months and run a DNA test on the child, albeit secretly (for your sake and hers).

On a lighter note, you probably should get sewing threads of different colours, say five, tie them simultaneously around a long broom or a long nail. Rub it against the dirt or sand to make it look dirty a bit and cook up a story about some practice in your parent's lineage. Ask her to confirm you own the pregnancy over the jargon you made, but not without warning her of the grave consequences. Your truth will come out.

Last, last, you both are truly meant for each other.

First and formost, go to another endocrinologist and confirm you sperm is still and really sterile. There are lots of quack doctors and equipments out there so you need confirmation for another hospital/doctor. If this is confirmed them she cheated.

Secondly, Just tell her you have some information that she had sex with another guy and that you do not trust the baby to be yours. That the wedding must proceed after she has given birth and a paternity test is done. She will confess. But then again she might deny because she doesn't know if you or the other guy fathered the child so she might want to take the gamble that it is yours. Just tell her you are very sure because the information came from a reliable source and that if she doesn't say the truth you will quit the marriage and tell her family. Just act like you really really know she cheated.

Thirdly, Do whatever makes you happy. You lied to her and she is a cheat. Can you marry a cheat? If you love her to a fault then marry her and keep the child.

Scary.

unbetreeable.... abeg una goodnite... may God deliver u and ur soulmate! unbetreeable.... abeg una goodnite... may God deliver u and ur soulmate!

Nnemuka:

He is a scriptwriter, he is gathering your opinions on a story he intends selling to Emem Isong.

OP, look into this question and add to what you already wrote.

Mad oooo!

Hisincrease:
My brother this Lie and cheat journey you call union will end in tears soonest. You can endure one child but can you endure 4-5 kids from this same woman knowing well that your engine is not grinding.
Break up and start this process again or move on with break and quench union.

Lol. She's his messiah. A sterile man who can't bear children should be grateful that the wife is keeping societal shame away from their home.

He should break up huh? So another unfortunate lady deserves a sterile man ba?

Discombulator:
Funny situation,it's a win win situation for you,keep the child as yours cos you might not be able to father any children till you die,at least that way you got a cover up and test yourself outside marriage to see if your treatment works and if it does get another woman pregnant secretly, make children with her but still keep your wife and the lie,life goes on bro.

Creating unnecessary hassles..

The days where childlessness was seen as a total pariah is slowly coming to an end!!

Couples are choosing to delay childbearing, have sperm/egg donation or simply adopt..

It's all about having an open frank discussion about your wants and expectations.

If the pickin isn't mine, the corner eye wey I go give am and the mama will last a lifetime..
To me that child is physical evidence of an indiscretion! That she's not even owned up to or apologised...
Tufiakwa..

That pesin fit kill




.

QuiverBox:
It beats my Imagination , why a sterile /Woman insist on getting married.

Just remain Single and be Happy

Hope Nigerians knows marriage is not just about having kids. There are couples who decide not to bear children, to them they love their companionship without kids coming in between

Romangalactic:

It's not everytime the truth sets people free. I thought about this as well but there too may things at play.
I have always felt the treatment may not have positive results fast enough and will take many trials, so accepting responsibility for this child is a good way to save us the embarrassment of our families wondering why we have not had a child after marriage and it also ensures she won't be trying to get pregnant for the next three to four years, which gives me more time to sort myself out.

I know this is selfish of me,. thanks a lot for your suggestions.

you will end up regretting. it is not compulsory to give birth

what do you think you would reap while you were sewing wind of distrust and deceit?

Whirlwind of course.
Take your L in peace jare.
You both deserve one another.


Bye bye.

���give, it shall be given unto you good measure shaken together and running over ���

grafixdon:
Accept the pregnancy and relocate, so she won't have access to her baby daddy. You might not be able to father a child, this's your opportunity.

Is that not like kidnapping on d man's part? If she's an angel as he paints her to be, he should tell her. True love knows no bounds like d saying goes.

Steve jobs was sterile too before the wife got pregnant for their daughter which made Steve jobs hated the girl because he wasnt sure she was his kid.

Talk to your lady and if she comes out clean, accept the pregnancy and you both get married and take the secret to the grave.

No woman will stay with a sterile ma, just know she will abscond, but if she decides to stay, that means you may actually the father or she want to save her face.

Kai I feel for you ooh BUT you really need to come out clean. If she stays, she stays. if she decides to leave, it will hurt but you would have saved yourself a lot of troubles.

Do this and every other thing you are battling to find out will fall in place.

My prayers are with you. [/quote]

Kai this one na complete fool

Try another woman... If she get pregnant go for another test

Tell her the truth ... if she insists that the baby is your then so be it ...