Steep:
Christian assembly is not a cultural/political assembly, why will you say Paul is telling Corinthian Christians to obey cultural or political law?



Note Paul was instructing Timothy on the qualification of pastors, deacons etc

1 Timothy 2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

The woman should not teach nor usurp authority over a man.
Meaning the authority to teach and lead primarily is a male one which a woman should not take for herself.

Mind you this admonition is for church gathering not private interactions.

"Except there is not a qualified male" is just my opinion which is borne out of the word usurp.
Meaning if there is a qualified man then the mantle fall on the man not the woman.

So take out the qualified part. meaning if there is no man to teach a congregation, there should be no church service that day?

Take a look at the scripture you gave. A lot lot of words there show that this is a scripture between a man and his wife.
But a suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man. the word "the" is a particular man (her husband)
You do not have authority over another man's wife so there is not way Paul will advise another man's wife not to usurp your authority.
You do not have authority over the daughter of another man until you marry her, there is not way Paul will advise another man's daughter not to usurp your authority .You both are not even related
So that the reader is not confused Paul gives example with a married couple in the next verse.
Paul goes on to talk about child-bearing which is a result of a marriage.
So clearly Paul is not talking about church here but about the marriage.
And yes I agree that women should listen to their husbands and not usurp authority over the man.
And here Paul was inspired of God but he clearly stated that he was the one who was not permitting women to speak, he said it. Probably James or Peter may have been allowing women to speak and Paul say "Not I". That scripture is still inspired of God but that is Paul saying "I want it this way..."
Go to 1 Cor 7:10, you'll see Paul say "Not I, but the Lord says this ......" "Not the Lord, but I say this...." All scripture is inspired of God, however Paul is letting us know before hand that this is his decision

Steep:
Christian assembly is not a cultural/political assembly, why will you say Paul is telling Corinthian Christians to obey cultural or political law?



Note Paul was instructing Timothy on the qualification of pastors, deacons etc

1 Timothy 2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

The woman should not teach nor usurp authority over a man.
Meaning the authority to teach and lead primarily is a male one which a woman should not take for herself.

Mind you this admonition is for church gathering not private interactions.

"Except there is not a qualified male" is just my opinion which is borne out of the word usurp.
Meaning if there is a qualified man then the mantle fall on the man not the woman.

Titus 2:3-5
The older women will
1; Teach what is good and after teaching what is good
2: Urge younger women to love husbands and children.

Shokoloko:


So take out the qualified part. meaning if there is no man to teach a congregation, there should be no church service that day?

Take a look at the scripture you gave. A lot lot of words there show that this is a scripture between a man and his wife.
But a suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man. the word "the" is a particular man (her husband)
You do not have authority over another man's wife.
You do not have authority over the daughter of another man until you marry her.
So that the reader is not confused Paul gives example with a married couple in the next verse.
Paul goes on to talk about child-bearing which is a result of a marriage.
So clearly Paul is not talking about church here but about the marriage.
And yes I agree that women should listen to their husbands and not usurp authority over the man.

You don't take out the qualified part.
The word "the man" is absolutely talking of a male who is qualified to teach and lead.

Paul is not talking about marriage but the church. In church the woman should not teach nor usurp authority the man.
1 Timothy 2:8 I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.

2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

No Paul was not talking about marriage but the church.

Shokoloko:


Titus 2:3-5
The older women will
1; Teach what is good and after teaching what is good
2: Urge younger women to love husbands and children.

Older women are to teach younger women not the whole church.

I am 55 years old and my advice to you will be to not leave for abroad without your family especially your wife. If you are a Christian, remember the story and the uncommon patience of Hosea and Job and pray for God to give you their mindsets. It might get worse when you get abroad where she knows you cannot lay hand on her, but do not let this deter you from being good to her. I have been in a similar situation and I can emphatise with the way you feel. God bless!

SeriouslySense:
I looked at my comment again, and its clear i am a bit biased there, and to correct myself, i admit, the husband also has issues.

They both have issues, the husband has problem with flirting, and the wife has problem with her temperament.

This is something they can talk about, and try to hold themselves accountable.

Very true my brother, the wife must work on anger issue and the husband on the other hand is to work on his flirting habit. Like you said this is what both parties can sit down and talk about for peace to reign considering that there is a kid already in the picture and it won't be nice for a little kid to grow in a hostile environment/ family settings seeing Mon and dad arguing every now and then due to issues that be well handled by both parents

Lasunray01:



Though, this has happened before too. In all, everyone's comment is appreciated. Will work on all options as suggested

OP, I think you got all the advice you need already. But my own is that it's a complete NO taking her abroad for now. Don't even think about it. It will certainly end in tears.

Steep:

Older women are to teach younger women not the whole church.

Its not said who they are to teach. Lets not add

1Tim 2 talks about marriage. You are free to pretend it does not, but know this you have no authority over any woman that is not your wife.
If you have no authority over any woman that is not your wife, then she cannot usurp authority from a man who never had authority over her in the first place.

CaveAdullam:
1. Depending on the agreement both of you had before marriage, if you both choose to be exclusively monogamous and she's still keeping to that oath, maintaining fidelity, I think you should just reduce your flirting tendency.

A. Though you flirt, but women love men that other women want to be with. This is the dread game. It improves her desire towards you and make her invest better so that the relationship can last. (Know this: no investment from a woman can surpass that of a man in a sexual relationship whether long or short or filled with manipulations. By the way, he is still the one that losses more regardless of his high investments).

She's mateguarding you, but her jealousy is over the roof. There are better ways to handle this matter from her angle rather than going haywire.

B. Your flirting tendency can also make her break her oath of fidelity in order to counter her jealousy and come back on you. However, infidelity from both sexes are different and will be weighed differently because both sexes are different. (Simply can't go into that details now).

But if she's true to her oath of fidelity, that is, you know very well that she's not cheating behind but come open to disagree with you, then, forget flirting and concentrate on your family.

2. Stop engaging with women and other people in verbal attacks. Besides, women are good at it and will always beat you hands down. So, just avoid any verbal altercation.

A woman must learn how to control her tongue though. Because men's power are tired to their ego and once that ego is insulted or threatened it is an attack on their power, hence, will always retaliate with physical force.

Your wife always abusing you indicates a high level of disrespect! And that disrespect is as a result of you always engaging with her in her emotional tantrums. You must start learning to punish her psychologically, because I'm not in support of domestic violence. Start from here: Become dominant. Withdraw attention. Withdraw resources.

3. Truth be spoken, for her to always destroy your home appliances in her emotional hystericity, indicates that you've lost dominance. Such behavior implies disrespect...two agressive people can't stay under one roof. She's behaving like a parody of a man, and that you don't need.

4. Take yourself and kid oversea. You'll still continue to flirt and her with her agressive nature; couple that in a country that the family/divorce laws rips the man/husband into pieces, you'll regret your life!

(However, for the sake of your kid because they are the ones that suffers the aftermath of parental separation, both of you must resolve your differences and grow above it). This will fail 99% of the time, just start preparing on how you can raise your kid into a quality adult in the absence of the mother.

This is an evolutionary game in vogue.

Let her go!

Thanks.

Your second point that women love men who other women want to be with is incomplete. No woman with a healthy self esteem will tolerate a man who flirts around.

In fact, the man is probably flirting because he likes validation from other women to soothe his low self esteem

Men and women with healthy self esteem want partners who will be loyal and faithful and not be flirting around with other women and men

If a partner dare tries to flirt, I will just walk away. I have no time for such rubbish and immature behaviour

Shokoloko:

Its not said who they are to teach. Lets not add

1Tim 2 talks about marriage. You are free to pretend it does not, but know this you have no authority over any woman that is not your wife.
If you have no authority over any woman that is not your wife, then she cannot usurp authority from a man who never had authority over her in the first place.

you are going emotional, this is God's word not mine or any man.
It is not a woman having "authority over a man" but usurping the authority to lead and teach in the church.

Paul never said in marriage, but obviously a place of Christian worship.

1. Where All men should pray and lift up holy hands
2. In such a gathering A woman should learn in silence.
3. They should not usurp the authority to preach or lead over a man meaning in place of a man. But however not every man is qualified to teach or lead the church.


1 Timothy 2:8 I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.

2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

2:10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

Again your theory of Paul only speaking in terms of marriage is thrashed.


Paul description of the qualities of a bishop or a pastor or a church leader.

1.You even agree that he must be an husband of one wife, which is true.
2 Amongst other qualities he must rule over his own house.
A woman cannot rule over her house which include her husband.
If a woman cannot rule over her house then she cannot lead the church.


1 Timothy 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

3:5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

Lasunray01:



She's still in her early 20's and the marriage is less than 2yrs, leaving her behind not really cool with me...kindly explain the 'church rat' part

Why are you avoiding the main point that was made in that comment ? What has her age got to do with this?
Oga, face the issue which is you and your unnecessary flirting ways. Your wife isn't the primary cause of this problem. YOU are!

@op, you know the problem and you know what to do, if you truly love that lady stop flirting with other women. As for carrying her abroad with this character you might land in trouble.

bepositive11:
Your second point that women love men who other women want to be with is incomplete. No woman with a healthy self esteem will tolerate a man who flirts around.

In fact, the man is probably flirting because he likes validation from other women to soothe his low self esteem
Men and women with healthy self esteem want partners who will be loyal and faithful and not be flirting around with other women and men

If a partner dare tries to flirt, I will just walk away. I have no time for such rubbish and immature behaviour

!

There are somethings that grinds one's gears and that happens to be one of them for me.

Good day nairalanders. My first time post in 5yrs.

Will try to summarize the issues and seek sincere advise please.

I’ve been married before but got divorced within a year due to genotype issues(it’s a long story). So I remarried 2yrs after and with a child now, and that’s where my issues started from.

I know I have some bad sides too which I’m trying to change, which is flirting with single ladies, and this has caused multiple fight with my wife.

Whenever we have this fights, not physical, just verbal, but in her anger she breaks virtually anything around, cups, laptop, speakers etc. she can be madly angry. I’ve warned, petted her severally to desist from this act especially infront of our kid...but she won’t. It’s getting worse by the day. Now she reports me with blackmail to her parents and friends making me feel I’m the worst husband in the universe, calling me unprintable names. Calling me weak cos I don’t beat.

Now the advice I seek, we are planning to relocate as a family abroad this year, but I’m really scared. I can actually go alone, but would prefer we all go together since I have the means. But I’m scared if I won’t regret my actions to take her along with this her character. What if I get jailed or lose custody of our child abroad, because she’s a master in blackmail. She can turn simple issue overboard.


Sorry for the long epistle. Just had to pour out my mind. Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Thank you

It’s a case of beating a child and expecting him not to cry.
You’re cheating and expecting her not to react, try and stop the cheating/flirting and watch her reactions.