tossie101:


Ignore them u know u cant say anything that wil make then reason with u..
Thats how yorubas are.
Spitting igbos is their hubby..
Has made me grown some kind of dislike for them its a pity

I can't believe your last statement its absolutely shocking I must say....SMH

She is wrong.you infuence your family to speak on your behalf.If they dont want.you follow your husband and go home.moreso ,a man shoukdnt spend more than he can afford in the name of marriage.suxh man is very stupid.


When i did mine,i spoke with my mum who intimated my father's bro and everyone of them stood their ground on that day.suffice to say that my husband was told to give what he has and everybody went home happy except the kindred secretary ,whose daughters were being pregnanted and married off secretly while he brought throat cutting lists for other families.

He has stopped talking to us since that 3 yrs ago and we are so happy.

gloria34:
captain abeg take it easy. d stress of marriage sometimes tell on d parties involved, when 1 of my elder sisters got married, her husband spent more than what he budgeted but life goes on. she shouldn't have dragged her father to social media, its their tradition

Pretty girl. ... yea i got u.
Ok the girl is stupid.
How u doing swwt

Waiting to hear the Igbo father's side of the bargain

Honestly you're delusional. Except your comment was meant to be sarcastic.

CaptainG00D:
Hmm ok so Ur hubby paid dowry and became broke.? Rubbish!!!.
Any man that cant pay for his woman bride price is not ready for marriage n parenthood..
By the way its not by force to marry an igbo woman... look elsewhere where women are cheap.

As for ur friends who has "VOWED" not to marry igbo women pls tell them to vow with amadioha and ogun so that the vow will strong well well.
Becoz im loving that vow let them keep away from our women pls and stick to their own who "dont sell" their kids.

Pls pls all igbo parents should increase the brideprice more let them leave our gals alone becoz its getting too much pls.

NUFF SAID!!

macof:


Sir, I am a traditionalist not a christian. priests, parishioners and all that means nothing before the ethnic identity of a people, it is their pride, the source of their Nationalism and Patriotism, without this you cannot have true development and peace amongst one another
. it might be selfishness for some hypocrites (especially Christians who do not follow or defend culture when it matters), but the true purpose of any cultural practice of this scale goes beyond personal gains, they have stuck for the social and moral benefit of the society.

OooooK, I get your drift then and I'm quite at peace with it.

The only other premises will remain the rights of the individuals to their personal self-determination, freedom of expression and association. And I mean the exclusive rights of individuals to molding their "personal" lives and programming their destinies according to their own objectives tastes, designs and experiences not necessarily the desires of some geriatric, dowdy old-timers who've had their time and still retain some sadistic, insane desire to live the lives of the coming generations as part of their own fading days and ways.

If we don't believe in the rights of the individual in Africa but we, instead, maintain that "Culture must be upheld at the expense of the individual"; we will still keep finding excuses for unfair, outdated, outdone, unsafe and non-progressive mindsets and practices like Female Genital Mutilation, Child Marriages, Child Labor etc. And, isn't it funny how most of the cultural norms that we are often so parochial about are the ones so well-twisted out of suitability for contemporary day living by our patrilineally controlled ancestries so that it's often the women-folk are on the receiving end?

When these women now wanna redefine the concepts of what womanhood should mean through Women Liberation, Feminism even #Slayism, we men start feeling outdone but we forget most of these near dysfunctional socio-cultural frameworks were erected by our forefathers. The fact they did so does not make it right for all time, it might not even have been right for their times too if were to have been able to interview they, themselves.

And once people, as individuals start kicking against certain ancestral practices, the word "Referendum" & "Restructuring" starts coming to mind. The Alternative to that will be the other 'R' Word = Revolution!

NB
Funny, ur siggy says you are yoruba, am clearly S/South! Why would you be here postulating theories on S/E marriage customs? What brings you this far to "our side" after all you would gladly group us together as dismissively as possible if for instance we were discussing derivation sharing formulas, resource control, self-determination, restructuring, referendum or the other word your folks dread so much "Biafra"?! Am just curious o, not trying to antagonize you in anyway pls.

LoJ:

Oya clap for yasef.

Culture does evolve. No culture is static, and destructive elements of a culture must be removed, else the society will face a disadvantage, that will threaten its sustainability. Almost every culture in the world had cannibalism, but most did away with. So culture is not static.

Moreover, inflating dowry is not for culture purposes. Culture does not force anyone to set a particular price. Whether 10k or 10 million, dowry can be paid and culture preserved. So higher price does not mean higher regard for tradition.

Only the greed of some families explains the rise in dowry.

Making sense, onPoint but I wonder why people find this so hard a pill to swallow?

It shows majority of the backwardness evident in our society stems from the inherent subhuman propensities we still carry and celebrate here. It's part of the reasons that the worst of the populace end up leading and abusing the polity as leaders because deep down in our collective psyches as communities we still lie to ourselves on many levels. We believe, cherish and uphold mediocre worldviews and celebrate being masters of it! And we wonder why Nigeria is not able to take her place in the community of developed nations, when majority of the polity reason like afflicted plebeians?

what would be so hard about rebuking greed as it is being displayed in plain sight. The culture is colorful, laudable and quite cool but the excesses are a bit off, don't you think?

grandstar:


God has given me his blessing to marry from where I want. As long as the persons fears and loves Him, He is cool with that (Acts 10:34-35).

Jesus even commanded us to call such God fearing ones my brothers and sister.

Our father in heaven makes the sun rise on good people and bad people and he makes the rain fall on good people and those who are not good.

He alone truly is good. Are we even fit to be his children?

The Jews felt they were better than everyone because they were custodians of the holy writings and Jesus told the touching story of the good Samaritan to drive to everyone, including you and I today, who a neighbor is.

Nice one, stay liberated sir, stay free of the culture-pharisees!

If Bob Marley could admonish folks to "emancipate yourselves from Mental Slavery" how much more the Scriptures in Col 2:8, it'd blow your mind:
(Col 2: Beware lest any man make a prey of you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.

whoever wants to stand on culture will definitely be at odds with Christ at some point:
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man loveth the world, the love of the Father is not in him. (1Jn 2:15)
For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. (1Jn 2:16)
And the world passeth away, and the lust of it: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever. (1Jn 2:17)

tytunji29:

Am nt suporting ha cos she spread her dirty lineage outside.....Bt ur response to dat coment dos it make sense to u?

...and u fools are so obsessed with the "dirty lineage".
U see, u hate us but u can't let us be.

wtfcoded:

What's wrong with ur own women?

God has given me his blessing to marry from where I want. As long as the persons fears and loves Him, He is cool with that (Acts 10:34-35).

Jesus even commanded us to call such God fearing ones my brothers and sister.

Our father in heaven makes the sun rise on good people and bad people and he makes the rain fall on good people and those who are not good.

He alone truly is good. Are we even fit to be his children?

The Jews felt they were better than everyone because they were custodians of the holy writings and Jesus told the touching story of the good Samaritan to drive to everyone, including you and I today, who a neighbour is.

PearlStreet:


Yes na. Female children are investments for poor Igbos.

That's why you'll never see an Igbo man who has plenty children sitting in his shop. He'll always be tying wrapper at home like a trainee cripple and be chasing people away from his herd of daughters.

If you know Igbo people you'll know that they value male child than females


You reason like prophet Muhammad the child rapist

CaptainG00D:
Hmm ok so Ur hubby paid dowry and became broke.? Rubbish!!!.
Any man that cant pay for his woman bride price is not ready for marriage n parenthood..
By the way its not by force to marry an igbo woman... look elsewhere where women are cheap.

As for ur friends who has "VOWED" not to marry igbo women pls tell them to vow with amadioha and ogun so that the vow will strong well well.
Becoz im loving that vow let them keep away from our women pls and stick to their own who "dont sell" their kids.

Pls pls all igbo parents should increase the brideprice more let them leave our gals alone becoz its getting too much pls.

NUFF SAID!!

you pulled the words out of my mouth. Did they force the man to pay? She for just elope with the guy since they are too broke to pay common bride price

desreek9:
And she had to call out her father on facebook, see what social media has caused, everything must be said online, smh

Didnt she see the list before it was given to her inlaws, she should have gone for court marriage then if she wasnt comfortable with the arrangements

Tell her jare. Imagine her. She for go print am for newspaper join.

grandstar:


God has given me his blessing to marry from where I want. As long as the persons fears and loves Him, He is cool with that (Acts 10:34-35).

Jesus even commanded us to call such God fearing ones my brothers and sister.

Our father in heaven makes the sun rise on good people and bad people and he makes the rain fall on good people and those who are not good.

He alone truly is good. Are we even fit to be his children?

The Jews felt they were better than everyone because they were custodians of the holy writings and Jesus told the touching story of the good Samaritan to drive to everyone, including you and I today, who a neighbour is.

Lol
But u haven't answered my question yet.

safarigirl:
She should shut up or take her useless rant to her father's compound.

So, she could not say this trash to her father's face when they were draining the husband, but she has the gall to carry the matter to FB and disgrace her entire family compound? I hope they disown her if someone from her place comes across this post. Let us see who she will run to when her own suffering begins since she assumes Igbo women are suffering in their marriages


Useless child, they should have dashed her free to the unfortunate husband of an uncultured wife

Well said, in fact, If I were the father or her brother, I will refund the bloody bride price. She obviously ain't worth it

humilitypays:
no wonder lol. You really need to visit Igbo land during Xmas to witness things yourself.

If not for our collective efforts, with the way Hausa-Yoruba dominated Nigerian government abandon Igbo land, Igbo land would have been a dumping site but we Igbos on our own collective effort make our respective villages small paradise.

Forget what people say online, visit Igbo communities during Xmas and see the wonders and developmental projects being executed by Igbo guys in their villages.

It usually gives me joy and I pray to soon join them in developing my community to a modern one soon by Gods grace.

Stop making a fool of yourself.

Have I denied this? How does it concern the topic on ground? It is very good that igbo boys develop their zone, and I encourage it. So what now? Can we talk about the topic now?

You look like a man with a complex of poverty. We are talking about dowry price being unnecessary high, you are talking about developing igboland. I join in prayer with you, may you alone develop all igboland and the whole of nigeria sef, it does not change the fact that, high dowry is a reflection of greed and not preservation of culture.

safarigirl:
you have never been to Nigeria, so, how do you know of the Igbo culture? Apart from listening to tales from people with little knowledge

Do you mind proving them wrong?

CaptainG00D:
Hmm ok so Ur hubby paid dowry and became broke.? Rubbish!!!.
Any man that cant pay for his woman bride price is not ready for marriage n parenthood..
By the way its not by force to marry an igbo woman... look elsewhere where women are cheap.

As for ur friends who has "VOWED" not to marry igbo women pls tell them to vow with amadioha and ogun so that the vow will strong well well.
Becoz im loving that vow let them keep away from our women pls and stick to their own who "dont sell" their kids.

Pls pls all igbo parents should increase the brideprice more let them leave our gals alone becoz its getting too much pls.

NUFF SAID!!

Bride price should be abolished.https://lm.?u=http://simplybami..co.ke/2017/12/bride-price-in-africanthe-old-norm-and.html?m=1&h=ATP4Bs7EvyDldfUow0EGfeBGUGOJ-h-mRyJ1maiCSGIg1saY6kQMzykEVV2DyygJQ5uYG3VmvAsY8Uf5Tluqfh-6KMThmkvykxRRZnK_D2ipzpqUjzMTe2gQanMMZQR5qv0r9-gKZc4C3h7IPE9h&enc=AZMDj_KKlPqhDmKfUbq2AnwHMTYyxyd8KjBYQWg68qCPTDig4lvC9Mqql5RSP2F2jF41-clEpSodXdyGL-e69_qVrV-OPWJemThWUcP-K_wal6rxNJCSsGfVSnq8TF965zrHV5b0ZhxvzUfSZm9oh75YkCr5UombgUdKDRMRofJ4C5Zl4wbTDtxt2EAopSvRKjO4aRrxEDOXy1i-qdq6ISreriYCkr_ESQ9MyKAi9MgAxmApDqPAaFcBpTKJPJ6OhuDw3al5kTooZJ3Nog01iKab_inTEQJE47wYggmmsoG_S7eJmgCqpp-BC91mGGVHMYcLqrmbj-zlkEIy3YfnpWRc&s=1

you are wrong for doing this, you lifted this story from a closed group and now you ridicule her here again. This is wrong of you, i hope your contact is discovered and deleted from the closed group. Bleep you.

Yungkid101:
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desire222:
It seems you are a regular caller there. My friend this is 2018, stop patronising oloshos. I've said my own !

Yes na, I'm a regular caller and I regularly see you there.

Oh please!!!

LoJ:

we will not leave you. We will keep forking you, and enjoying your assets.

By the time that list will come, we will run our way out, and look for another lady with less greedy parents. Is there a shortage of women?

Who is the looser? Keep entertaining the foolish greed of some parents, in the name of culture. Inflating dowry is greed, not culture. If it was only culture, 100 to 500k would be enough. Anything beyond that, is called greed in plain english.

Well, do as please you, but we are not leaving you anytime soon, kwanu.

#beWise

Don't kill me with Laughter this morning kwanu!


Leave me ooooo

[quote autahor=CaptainG00D post=63904075]Hmm ok so Ur hubby paid dowry and became broke.? Rubbish!!!.
Any man that cant pay for his woman bride price is not ready for marriage n parenthood..
By the way its not by force to marry an igbo woman... look elsewhere where women are cheap.

As for ur friends who has "VOWED" not to marry igbo women pls tell them to vow with amadioha and ogun so that the vow will strong well well.
Becoz im loving that vow let them keep away from our women pls and stick to their own who "dont sell" their kids.

Pls pls all igbo parents should increase the brideprice more let them leave our gals alone becoz its getting too much pls.

NUFF SAID!! [/quote]

I hope u realise, that for every 5call-girls u see in Nigeria n west africa, 2.5 are Igbos?

I'm based in Abj, n I'm truly tired of meeting above 30s single igbo ladies, desperate for marriage! They accept any kind of crazy assed package u proffer, just to be in a relationship!

CaptainG00D:
Hmm ok so Ur hubby paid dowry and became broke.? Rubbish!!!.
Any man that cant pay for his woman bride price is not ready for marriage n parenthood..
By the way its not by force to marry an igbo woman... look elsewhere where women are cheap.

As for ur friends who has "VOWED" not to marry igbo women pls tell them to vow with amadioha and ogun so that the vow will strong well well.
Becoz im loving that vow let them keep away from our women pls and stick to their own who "dont sell" their kids.

Pls pls all igbo parents should increase the brideprice more let them leave our gals alone becoz its getting too much pls.

NUFF SAID!!

what sense did u make now. Why re u being sarcastic to serious issue

ashjay001:


I hope u realise, that for every 5call-girls u see in Nigeria n west africa, 2.5 are Igbos?

I'm based in Abj, n I'm truly tired of meeting above 30s single igbo ladies, desperate for marriage! They accept any kind of crazy assed package u proffer, just to be in a relationship!

Crazy assed package like what exactly?


I think u are being delusional bcoz there are single ladies everywhere.
And there is no particular place u will say they have them more.. if u reason sensibly.

madone:
what sense did u make now. Why re u being sarcastic to serious issue

Im being very serios..
Leave igbo women alone if u think they are expensive..
Is that not common sense?

So up coming man can't Marry

Result is late marriages

Getting married to an old man.

Having first kid at age of 39

Adultery

Princedapace:



My dear, don't mind nairaland and her tribal bigots. No body forced anyone from marrying any body. She saw the list, she could av rejected it.

She could av opted to run with her husband. This nonsense rant online is useless. I doubt of the girl is even igbo. It may even be a fake account.

As for billing during marriage.. I just laugh at most Niaralanders.. Their hatred for anything igbo is top class..

Even in the north, some families give husband to be an expensive list. U keep buying expensive things till u get tired.. I av witnessed this live. Very expensive items the family of the lady requested.

Some families in the west does same too. There are many igbo families without expensive lists. It all depends on the family and has nothing to do with culture.. In my village, marriage is very cheap. It depends on the family bikooo..

I also see some useless people here calling igbo girls ashawo and all that.. I don't know what this platform is turning into.

I sincerely hate this platform. I may consider leaving it. The tribal insult is too much. All these Yoruba, Hausa, benue, idoma, ashawo wey dey enugu, Ibadan, Jos, kano etc are they not Nigerians? So why should a reasonable human come here and insult igbos and call their girls ashawo?

The type of country we are building is scary. nairaland has become a platform to insult entire ethnic group. I am disappointed..

The earlier you leave, the better for you. You're an inconsequential nobody.

humilitypays:
there is no rise in dowry, people just come online to rant when they knew ahead they weren't prepared to settle down.

How many Igbo men do you see complaining about paying whether Igbo woman o, Yoruba woman o, Hausa woman o, Fulani woman or Oyimbo woman dowry

In fact, Igbo guys are known for paying more than the usual bride price of their bride, why Because we so much value our bride and are happy to have her in our life.

Some tribe collect penny for bride price, but other expenditures will make you scream.

President Buhari collected 10naira or so as bride price for Zhara Buhari, but did u hear that the groom bought expensive jewelries, clothes, etc for the family which is how Fulani's does their own, why not go and tell them to reduce it

Yorubas collect penny for bride price, but the money they spend on the wedding party alone can build an estate. In fact, they spend a fortune on the wedding party which makes their own wedding higher in expense, yet Igbos don't scream and complain Yorubas change their party way.

Yorubas should learn to respect Igbos pls

LOL!


U GET IT WRONG.


BUHARI COLLECTED 12 GOLD COINS, WORTH #250,000 AS ZAHRA BRIDE PRICE.


http://www.todaynaija.com/2016/12/president-buhari-collected-12-gold.html


THIS IS FOR BUHARI POCKETS NOT EVEN COMMUNITY, BUT YET WEN EVER THESE NON-IGBOS ARRIVE IGBO LAND AND DEY ARE PROVIDED WITH MATERIALS FOR THE COMMUNITY CELEBRATION THEY START COMPLAINING.


Y CANT DEY JUST MARRY THEIR OWN WOMEN? WAT IS PURSUINING THEM?

MizMyColi:
Oh please!!!



Don't kill me with Laughter this morning kwanu!


Leave me ooooo

Just allow me. I was idle, I wanted to troll a bit. But I really mean it, greed should not make people go into debts to get married.

safarigirl:
100k for just the bride price?

Bride price is not fixed,it is negotiable. The list of things to buy(palmwine,yam,etc)sum up to 100k.

You should never go into debt to marry someone. Budget the price of the wedding and put your foot down. That's what being a man is about.

humilitypays:
gerrarrahia mhen! If this will make Africa remain backward, let it be you hear!! Broke people hiding under civilisation to run away from their manly responsibility. We need technological and scientific growth in Africa yes but our culture, our identity will remain, Oyimbo should change their own culture and adopt ours or let them gooru hell

The fact that something has been done from the olden days does not mean its correct. In calabar, twins were seen as devilish back in the day and were supposed to be killed. Did that make it the right thing? Abeg think this through and be objective. This is human greed hiding itself under the clothing of 'tradition.'

newyorks:
keep watch if u kant sleep..he married u becos u worth the spending so save urself the stress of shouting.universities fees varies based on standard.

Wrong! In some advanced countries, some of the best universities are usually cheaper than the super expensive ones but that's just besides the point. The point of this is her family 'pimping' her out for money. This is extortion at its worst.