AntiWailer:
You get angry easily because you expect a lot from people.

You expect a particular response, treatment etc.


Once u get anything contrary, it pisses u off no matter how insignificant the deviation is.



1. Lower expectations from people and learn to give room for mistakes.



As for malice, you are still expecting a kind of remorse and response from the people who offended you.


2. Apply STEP 1 and Learn to let go and just continue talking as if nothing happened earlier.

Dopest reply.

U need urgent deliverance!

Rosarie:
First take time and go out and breath fresh air.browse Bible verses on anger.tell God to help u.make conscious effort to help urself.if it comes say I am calm.i am calm.it will not be so easy but if u put effort u will see u will triumph the devil.

Sdker! I sight you o

merahki:


What a beautiful heart!
I like you already! Thank you for the gesture, and many blessings to you
Dear OP, see the kind of girl I told you about

thanks for the compliment .always try to be happy no matter what.try watching comedy skit whenever you are angry,always try reconcile with whoever you quarrel with even if it means asking them for what you don't need e.g please do you have salt.good luck .

TemiGod:


Sdker! I sight you o

yes ooo.i love SDK blog well a.

OP, a lot of people have said it all. Your condition could be spiritually influenced, therefore u should overcome it spiritually. Tell everything to God at a very quiet time of the night/day, just pour out your heart to him, He always listens. Then pray & rebuke the evil spirit behind such condition, just rebuke it vehemently & cast it into the bottomless pit. Then ask God to also forgive you for all your wrong /malicious ways & ask Him to put a clean, peaceful & forgiving spirit in u. And don't forget to invite the Holy Spirit to dwell in you & that is after surrendering your life to Jesus. I wish u all the best.

Meet your pastor for prayers, just don't underrate prayers.

Prakash247:


You are stupid my brother.You haven't spoken to your mom and sister for over 3 years and you are comfortable with it?...Infact,you are very stupid,add me to that list now.Dont ever talk to me in your life again.what nonsense!!

What a Cvnt.

Prakash247:


You are stupid my brother.You haven't spoken to your mom and sister for over 3 years and you are comfortable with it?...Infact,you are very stupid,add me to that list now.Dont ever talk to me in your life again.what nonsense!!

Question you should have asked is...what have they done to warrant such a reaction..
Add to me your list too, Fvck right off and don't ever chat shiit to me again. Cvnt.

Shikena:
It is not going to be easy but it is a complex that could be tamed. You need to go easy on yourself. You think everything is all about you and you scrutinize everything you do or that was done against you. Your first major challenge is to start trivializing everything, they are not that important and life is too short to keep holding on to every moment in the past - you simply don't have enough time on earth for that. Do not live for the past, live for the future. Let go! It's not easy, but always remind yourself and be your own number 1 clown. Laugh at your own mistakes and tell yourself 'I cannot come and go and kill myself jo!'. Make excuses for people whether they apologize or not. Be their invisible lawyer and defend them in your mind. It will free you. You will master it in no time and become totally relaxed - then you start enjoying life.

After reading this I couldn't hold myself from saying you are good.

I have serious anger issues, so much that she's complaining about it everyday.

I will read this post of yours everyday until it becomes a part of me.

The Best Remedy and Permanant Solution is to Confront an Army Man with Such An Anger, You will thank me Later, as for the Malice Matter,Just ask all this dem Tonto dike,Ini Edo,Oge Okoye,All those Gossipers for Nollywood Sha dem go Help you

Alpha001:
Happy new year NL.
I am posting this here because i really need help and i know a lot of people visit this section. Please i need urgent help as i don't want to continue like this in this 2019. Don't come and start insulting me please.

My problem is that i easily get angry and my anger doesn't go away easily. Very little things make me angry. Things that are not supposed to make me angry.
I can live in a room with a person for one year or even more without saying a word to the person just because he/she angered or did something bad to me.

I'm a quiet guy. People say i'm an introvert. I always try my best to avoid trouble. I am in my mid twenties buy have never been in a relationship.

This my problem of easily getting angry and keeping malice has been troubling me. I don't like it but still can't stop it. It is affecting my relationship with my family and close friends. And how can i even go into a relationship with this issue i'm having.
I find it very difficult to completely forgive.
I always envy those who are sociable and who don't easily get angry. I always wish to be like them.

Please i need your help/advice. Please this is not a spiritual problem, so don't start telling me about deliverance.
I would appreciate if this can be moved to the front page.
Thanks.

May I say that I actually experienced this and still exhibit some of these attributes at times because it's actually inherent.

I've also discovered that those times I take things too personal are when I don't get enough sleep. That's why I strive as much as possible to get enough sleep so as to improve my relationship with people on a daily basis.

We're almost the same. The only difference I can spot here is:

* I forgive and forget

I enjoy being alone and I don't see it as a problem. However, the people around me do. I can be in a room with you for a month and we will not talk aside greetings. It's not because I'm keeping malice with you, I just don't want to talk all the time. I'm not a shy person anyway. I talk when I wish to.

*The only thing is, I don't seem to have much of that thing called "tolerance". I hardly take shit from people - hence, the anger.

*I hate cheating and you can't take me for a fool.

*I don't know how to deceive people, hence, I don't want to be deceived. This is one of the reasons I don't have a girlfriend till date. I just don't know how to lie to a girl in the name of sex. If I don't dig you, I don't dig you!

There are so many things to say on this but my fingers hurt. The best pieces of advice you would ever get have actually come from the people here which I actually have learnt from.

I just want to let you know that there is nothing wrong with you. Practise some of those tips you've been given and you will see the changes.

Every personality types have their own weaknesses and strengths. My boss seems to understand me. Some people love to work with people who have dignity and would protect their reputation at all cost. That is one of strengths of people like you and me.

That's new men keep malice?

sexymoma:
Bros as u dey do so u go dey dey miss opportunities o...u be from ekiti ?
na dem dey do yeye like that...
before you quote me ma papa na from there..so i sabi wetin i dey type

Bia, I'm from Ekiti State o. I understand that some of our people exhibit some form of stubbornness and rigidity but what has that got to do with the missing of opportunities? That one fear me small o.

YorubaEmir:
Op believe me. You just described me. To worsen my case, I stammer
Let me describe you better:

You spend so much time on your phone/computer.
You're afraid to approach a girl.
Sometimes you forget what to say- memory loss
You believe you're talented
You don't like crowd
You find it hard to initiate a conversation
You always like to impose your opinions on others.
You hate being corrected or criticised
You hate hurting other people and can do anything to prevent it including being alone.
You have different opinions at different times about a subject matter
You always seek validation or want to know what people think about you.
You find it difficult to say NO.
You like to impress.
You're don't have a girlfriend.
You don't look people in the eye while talking.
Few things excite you.
98 percent of your pictures are selfies
It's like a deformity. Everyone has a deformity but letting it hurt people or letting it get to your head is a bigger deformity.


When I'm very angry, I literally lose my voice and composure. When I mean I lose my voice, I become dumb. At that point, the silliest thing to do is try to defend myself even when I'm right .So what I do is take a super deep breath, let out the hot air, then talk. I developed a special defense mechanism... A special type of smile I use to disarm people and make them look stupid. That way it puts me on the advantage when it comes to argument .

Always accomodate people's opinions. It helps to reduce the strain your brain undergoes trying to impose your opinion. If you want to make your opinion more impacting without trying to sound autocratic, always begin by saying..."I agree with you", "you are making a lot of sense", "yea... that's true". Then you add... "But then I still think it would have been better if ...." or, " But the point is, even if....

When I enter a gathering and I want to join the discussion/argument, I first start by smiling and agreeing with everyone's opinion. Saying things like, "That's true, yes yes, Are you serious? Wow, Hahahaha, you don't mean it, " just agree with everyone while still smiling. This I trick is very effective that everyone will actually be looking at you for validation that it would seem that all attention is on you. This is when everyone will be dying to hear your opinion. Then you start by finding a tiny hole in someone's opinion and diplomatically pointing it out... like... "But don't you think if you did it this way that this will happen?" Then he tries to explain himself while yoy keep an interested face, looking at him in the eyes and nodding your head...


I will have to stop here

Next time I will update how to geta strong self. Esteem

This is so me; I mean the description above. I must surely overcome this. I'm deeply introverted even though I detest being with any person in that category because I'm not proud of it at all

You are just like my girlfriend, she's beautiful, elegant but she can keep malice and cause wahala for Africa..

Let me see, she fights me like 4 times a week..

I was with her yesterday and she's fighting me for chatting with a girl I once know when I saw your post and decide to show and read the content to her....

She doesn't admit she's wrong and expect me to apologize for everything else there will be trouble..

No friends, and loves the me and my husband attitude, I can't even talk to any of my neighbors when she's around..

please try and heed the advices given to you so far.. it is well..

op change your environment if possible, take up a new job if possible the one that involve meeting people, or getting to mange people, by the time you relate with people with different characters outside your family and associates, your attitudes and emotions will improve for the better. your advancement will manifest with improved social life.

PRAY LIKE THIS,"EVERY ROOT OF ANGER IN MY LIFE, WHAT ARE U WAITING FOR? DIEEEEEEEEEEE... THEN U REPEAT DIE DIE DIE BY FIRE, DIE BY FORCE

Alpha001:
Happy new year NL.
I am posting this here because i really need help and i know a lot of people visit this section. Please i need urgent help as i don't want to continue like this in this 2019. Don't come and start insulting me please.

My problem is that i easily get angry and my anger doesn't go away easily. Very little things make me angry. Things that are not supposed to make me angry.
I can live in a room with a person for one year or even more without saying a word to the person just because he/she angered or did something bad to me.

I'm a quiet guy. People say i'm an introvert. I always try my best to avoid trouble. I am in my mid twenties buy have never been in a relationship.

This my problem of easily getting angry and keeping malice has been troubling me. I don't like it but still can't stop it. It is affecting my relationship with my family and close friends. And how can i even go into a relationship with this issue i'm having.
I find it very difficult to completely forgive.
I always envy those who are sociable and who don't easily get angry. I always wish to be like them.

Please i need your help/advice. Please this is not a spiritual problem, so don't start telling me about deliverance.
I would appreciate if this can be moved to the front page.
Thanks.

Are You On Any Medication? Try Read The Leaflet! I Was An Asthmatic For Years, And My Medications Were Taking Me To The Dark Places Of Anger & Bitterness! Till One Day I Subconsciously Read The Leaflet of My Medication, The Medication I have taken for more than 25 years, and the side effects were horrible. And A lot of people have confirmed this. Thank GOD! He has healed me. If you are not on any medication, try exercises. Thank You! https://www.bummyla..com

Bidobado1:


Question you should have asked is...what have they done to warrant such a reaction..
Add to me your list too, Fvck right off and don't ever chat shiit to me again. Cvnt.

Oh shut up!!!

TheWalkingMind:
I know Christians suffering from things like this sir. While the power of regeneration in Christ can't be underscored, I must tell you regeneration is something to be embrased in knowledge which given someone's life to Christ doesn't address. I doubt if OP has not given his life to Christ already. In constrast, there are people who have gone through these stages and have seen people through these stages, let them render their help to him. There is a reason we are social beings, it's so we can lend helping hands to one another in practical ways.

Your initial one liner was totally dismissive
I recommended what I know has worked
There are many strategies to every problem don't dismiss things by a wave of hand.

Alpha001:
Happy new year NL.
I am posting this here because i really need help and i know a lot of people visit this section. Please i need urgent help as i don't want to continue like this in this 2019. Don't come and start insulting me please.

My problem is that i easily get angry and my anger doesn't go away easily. Very little things make me angry. Things that are not supposed to make me angry.
I can live in a room with a person for one year or even more without saying a word to the person just because he/she angered or did something bad to me.

I'm a quiet guy. People say i'm an introvert. I always try my best to avoid trouble. I am in my mid twenties buy have never been in a relationship.

This my problem of easily getting angry and keeping malice has been troubling me. I don't like it but still can't stop it. It is affecting my relationship with my family and close friends. And how can i even go into a relationship with this issue i'm having.
I find it very difficult to completely forgive.
I always envy those who are sociable and who don't easily get angry. I always wish to be like them.

Please i need your help/advice. Please this is not a spiritual problem, so don't start telling me about deliverance.
I would appreciate if this can be moved to the front page.
Thanks.

Your issue is solved already, since u could identify this by yourself.
My advice...
1. Reduce your expectation from others
2. When you wake up every morning, do some face exercise - open your mouth wide and close, severally
3. Decide to get a close associate (Girl or a guy) that u can always talk to, even help u monitor ur rate of annoyance and remind u to either say sorry to whoever or cleanse whatever hurt and move on
4. You need to seek for help, either spiritual or medical (I am not talking about deliverance, but allowing the word of God rule ur life
5. Snapping out of such moment (mode) whenever u find yourself in such mode
6. Build patient and learn to say SORRY at all times (even when they wrong u) this is my charge, just be HUMBLE for your good
7. When u have people around u, trust just one person and tell that person to help u while they are around u, express yourself to the person
8. Learn to PRAY more, talk to yourself more, reminding yourself that this evil must pass
9. Go out more, beach, outing with friends, movies and the likes
10. Be more analytical with yourself and tell yourself the truth at all times - Do you really need this help... make frantic effort to get the help u desire

God will help

islandmoon:


please how did you make your signature color green? pls

Click on reply.
On the comments box, click change color.
Select your chosen color.
Copy and paste the code that is displayed to you into your signature.
And write in between the lines.

Were you sexually abused as a child? Don't you think you are going through Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a mental situation characterized by intense anxiety, fear and worthlessness? Why not try meeting a clinical psychologist doctor and a psychiatric doctor who would help you with therapy and antidepressants serotonin builders. Go to a federal medical center or any neuropsychological hospital for help. You need to reveal things about your growing up, from where you would become conscious of why you behave the way you do.

Regards.

Abcruz:

Click on reply. On the comments box, click change color. Select your chosen color. Copy and paste the code that is displayed to you into your signature. And write in between the lines.

thank you.

On a,lighter note i think you need to get laid.
it doesnt matter wether you have a qirl or not just pay for the damn thing and get laid it releases ''feel good hormone''
I use to feel the same way too and up to now i can forgive but i dont forget because i hav a good retentive memory.

One of my secrets 2hen i am very angry i chant silently ''THIS TOO SHALL PASS, THIS TOO SHALL PASS ,THIS TOO SHALL PASS''

this quotes under understands you so well

ayesco202:
May I say that I actually experienced this and still exhibit some of these attributes at times because it's actually inherent.

I've also discovered that those times I take things too personal are when I don't get enough sleep. That's why I strive as much as possible to get enough sleep so as to improve my relationship with people on a daily basis.

We're almost the same. The only difference I can spot here is:

* I forgive and forget

I enjoy being alone and I don't see it as a problem. However, the people around me do. I can be in a room with you for a month and we will not talk aside greetings. It's not because I'm keeping malice with you, I just don't want to talk all the time. I'm not a shy person anyway. I talk when I wish to.

*The only thing is, I don't seem to have much of that thing called "tolerance". I hardly take shit from people - hence, the anger.

*I hate cheating and you can't take me for a fool.

*I don't know how to deceive people, hence, I don't want to be deceived. This is one of the reasons I don't have a girlfriend till date. I just don't know how to lie to a girl in the name of sex. If I don't dig you, I don't dig you!

There are so many things to say on this but my fingers hurt. The best pieces of advice you would ever get have actually come from the people here which I actually have learnt from.

I just want to let you know that there is nothing wrong with you. Practise some of those tips you've been given and you will see the changes.

Every personality types have their own weaknesses and strengths. My boss seems to understand me. Some people love to work with people who have dignity and would protect their reputation at all cost. That is one of strengths of people like you and me.

also YorubaEmir capture your behaviour succintly

Op believe me. You just described me. To worsen my case, I stammer grin
Let me describe you better:

You spend so much time on your phone/computer.
You're afraid to approach a girl.
Sometimes you forget what to say- memory loss
You believe you're talented
You don't like crowd
You find it hard to initiate a conversation
You always like to impose your opinions on others.
You hate being corrected or criticised
You hate hurting other people and can do anything to prevent it including being alone.
You have different opinions at different times about a subject matter
You always seek validation or want to know what people think about you.
You find it difficult to say NO.
You like to impress.
You're don't have a girlfriend.
You don't look people in the eye while talking.
Few things excite you.
98 percent of your pictures are selfies
It's like a deformity. Everyone has a deformity but letting it hurt people or letting it get to your head is a bigger deformity.


When I'm very angry, I literally lose my voice and composure. When I mean I lose my voice, I become dumb. At that point, the silliest thing to do is try to defend myself even when I'm right .So what I do is take a super deep breath, let out the hot air, then talk. I developed a special defense mechanism... A special type of smile I use to disarm people and make them look stupid. That way it puts me on the advantage when it comes to argument .

Always accomodate people's opinions. It helps to reduce the strain your brain undergoes trying to impose your opinion. If you want to make your opinion more impacting without trying to sound autocratic, always begin by saying..."I agree with you", "you are making a lot of sense", "yea... that's true". Then you add... "But then I still think it would have been better if ...." or, " But the point is, even if....

When I enter a gathering and I want to join the discussion/argument, I first start by smiling and agreeing with everyone's opinion. Saying things like, "That's true, yes yes, Are you serious? Wow, Hahahaha, you don't mean it, " just agree with everyone while still smiling. This I trick is very effective that everyone will actually be looking at you for validation that it would seem that all attention is on you. This is when everyone will be dying to hear your opinion. Then you start by finding a tiny hole in someone's opinion and diplomatically pointing it out... like... "But don't you think if you did it this way that this will happen?" Then he tries to explain himself while yoy keep an interested face, looking at him in the eyes and nodding your head...


I will have to stop here grin

Next time I will update how to geta strong self. Esteem

AntiWailer:
You get angry easily because you expect a lot from people.

You expect a particular response, treatment etc.


Once u get anything contrary, it pisses u off no matter how insignificant the deviation is.



1. Lower expectations from people and learn to give room for mistakes.



As for malice, you are still expecting a kind of remorse and response from the people who offended you.


2. Apply STEP 1 and Learn to let go and just continue talking as if nothing happened earlier.

This is good advice.

Most advice I read here are good.. You are not alone in this situation...most people are though to certain extent. I myself have decided to stop being angry at people no matter who is wrong or right this year,its emotional exhausting for me....its not easy to follow but I hope to go through with it.
I discover also a trigger to my anger issue is expecting someone to treat me good the way I would treat them. So it really pisses me to find out one could hurt me this way when I can't even think of hurting you that way....then l lash out to the person but the funny thing about pouring out my hurt angrily is being remorse after I'm calm no matter who was right or wrong,I would always tell myself I should have told this person about my grievance calmly.

People would always hurt you thats for sure,no one is perfect so stop expecting everyone would treat you good. I've had serious issues with my mum n siblings but do I cut them off? no ! lol. A friend once told me when I had issue with my sister that quarrels with family is like placing something in the armpit it will eventually fall off when u move or raise your hand.
Again have friends you can talk/chat with,when ever you are in a fix talk or chat them up,they will be able to tell u want to do before u use anger to ruin something.

If you keep malice this way ,you won't be able to relate to any human! you would still need people even those that may have hurt one day in life.

There are some wounds that are difficult to heal ,there are some issues you just forgive the person and move on with your life .

Get trusted friends to talk to when you about loosing it. We all need that in our lives.

When people do something to make you angry, in return you should also do something to piss then off, it actually works and it makes you feel better too.

Prakash247:

Oh shut up!!!

OH Fvck off!!!

The fact that you are conscious and detest this habit makes the problem half solve. I also fancy your willingness to solve the problem. Believe me I used to be like you when I was also about your age (maybe less). I once kept malice with a close friend for 2 years. We will be in the same gathering of friends and still manage to avoid each other. But as time went by and as someone who goes in deep thought about this life, I realise life is a circle and we won't be here for long. some of my personal findings through my meditations, which I believe will help you overcome your present situation are:
1. Like I mentioned earlier, know that we are not going to be here forever.
2. Train your mind not to expect anything (both material and non-materials) from any body (including your family members) at any point in time. This is the best way to guide against disappointment.
3. Lower your ego. Never think you are above all things.
4. Anticipate and forgive in advance, people's mistakes. This actually help alot trust me.
5. Know that you are not perfect and do other people around you.