Bidobado1:


Bro you are not alone.. God knows i would have killed many people or even die earlier if I had a gun. That's how bad my own anger is.. And as for forgiveness, if you offend me, I just believe that it's God's ordained judgement that I hurt you back in the nastiest way thinkable. I ha
We are still work in progress and may God help us.

P. S. I haven't spoken to my mother and sister for over 3 years and I will not until they fvcking apologise for what they did.

oh sweetheart, why are u living as if this Earth is ur permanent home? Heaven is ur home therefore live like someone going somewhere by
1. don't let any of those hurt to stay in ur heart and fetter
2. grow up ba matured and show it by sending Dem texts and calling them

Bidobado1:


OH Fvck off!!!

Say that to your mirror.!

Prakash247:

Say that to your mirror.!

Say that to your generation.

Alpha001:
Happy new year NL.
I am posting this here because i really need help and i know a lot of people visit this section. Please i need urgent help as i don't want to continue like this in this 2019. Don't come and start insulting me please.

My problem is that i easily get angry and my anger doesn't go away easily. Very little things make me angry. Things that are not supposed to make me angry.
I can live in a room with a person for one year or even more without saying a word to the person just because he/she angered or did something bad to me.

I'm a quiet guy. People say i'm an introvert. I always try my best to avoid trouble. I am in my mid twenties buy have never been in a relationship.

This my problem of easily getting angry and keeping malice has been troubling me. I don't like it but still can't stop it. It is affecting my relationship with my family and close friends. And how can i even go into a relationship with this issue i'm having.
I find it very difficult to completely forgive.
I always envy those who are sociable and who don't easily get angry. I always wish to be like them.

Please i need your help/advice. Please this is not a spiritual problem, so don't start telling me about deliverance.
I would appreciate if this can be moved to the front page.
Thanks.

Meet a competent Psychologist n mental health doctor in a federal hospital. U will improve by over 70% if u work with them

GODPUNISHUNA:


You need medical help. Seriously jokes aside, you are not normal.

You display signs of schizophrenia. It's a mental illness

If you don't get treated you will find it hard keeping friendships or relationships. You are a perfect example of a loner and it's not a good thing

I suspect Anxiety Disorder

emmabest2000:
Drink kerosene any time the urge to become angry surface

Thank me later

haaa

Alpha001:
Happy new year NL.
I am posting this here because i really need help and i know a lot of people visit this section. Please i need urgent help as i don't want to continue like this in this 2019. Don't come and start insulting me please.

My problem is that i easily get angry and my anger doesn't go away easily. Very little things make me angry. Things that are not supposed to make me angry.
I can live in a room with a person for one year or even more without saying a word to the person just because he/she angered or did something bad to me.

I'm a quiet guy. People say i'm an introvert. I always try my best to avoid trouble. I am in my mid twenties buy have never been in a relationship.

This my problem of easily getting angry and keeping malice has been troubling me. I don't like it but still can't stop it. It is affecting my relationship with my family and close friends. And how can i even go into a relationship with this issue i'm having.
I find it very difficult to completely forgive.
I always envy those who are sociable and who don't easily get angry. I always wish to be like them.

Please i need your help/advice. Please this is not a spiritual problem, so don't start telling me about deliverance.
I would appreciate if this can be moved to the front page.
Thanks.

Find a way to communicate with her at all cost. Beg her, pet her and agree with her that you are wrong. Let her know such useless demand will not repeat itself again. Then find a way to augment your income with small business. A man must strife to provide enough for his family.

Scetrocom:


Find a way to communicate with her at all cost. Beg her, pet her and agree with her that you are wrong. Let her know such useless demand will not repeat itself again. Then find a way to augment your income with small business. A man must strife to provide enough for his family.

You are obviously commenting on the wrong post. Read the Op's story again and see if there's any correlation with what you typed.

i am seeing this question in October 2022, so i don't know how relevant it'd be for you if you at all see it. however, i am drawn to your plight having been in the same situation myself and i think i can help you.

Let , me congratulate you on recognising your problem. the first part of solving a problem is knowing it. many don't know their problems, so they think they're without any and don't grow up to their highest potential.

first of, you have to know, understand and accept yourself as you are. i want to believe you know about personality types and temperaments. if you do, you would know that your mood and more precisely that anger is a function of one's temperament. with the little knowledge i have, i can confidently tell you that you are a choleric. check that up on the internet. you also have melancholic tendencies. i know this due to having the same tendencies like you and by broadly studying about myself. choleric are hot/short tempered, ambitious, goal-oriented impatient, prone to hostility and strife, driven, purposeful, effective and reliable. you are also an introvert by personality. this is not the same thing as temperament, they're not to be confused.
having said this, i want you to know that being a choleric is not a bad temperament. there is no bad temperament. all temperaments have their strengths and weaknesses. sanguines are social and friendly but can also be lazy, disorganised and can lead fake lives. phlegmatics are calm and relaxed but also stubborn and unambitious and maybe selfish too. melancholics are thinkers, loyal and alert and they're also sad, shy, easily embarrassed, unforgiving and can overthink. you can read more on these temperaments on the internet or any resources you can lay hands on.
my advice is two fold:
the first part, is that you accept yourself just as you. you are not any less better than any other person. you are wired for a purpose and your temperament is the perfect requirement to fulfil that purpose. society has a way of making us feel like theyre acceptable personality traits and anything short of those standards are unacceptable. dont be conformist, accept yourself and be proud of yourself. you are unique and special, nobody has your talents and skill set mix, and you shouldn't think what others have is much better than what you have to offer. love yourself.
to the second part of my advice, these are practical actions that would help you cope with your struggle and possibly eventually overcome it.
first practice gratitude. take a sheet of paper and write down at least 10 things you are grateful for. life, health, freedom, sanity, peace, love etc. from that list, recite three things you are grateful for everyday for 21 days. when you practice gratitude, you take your focus from the things that don't match your blueprint or that you're unhappy about and transferring that focus to what is working. everybody has something about their life to be grateful for. we just focus too much on our struggles. the more you're grateful, the happier you'll get over time. it wont be easy at first, but with time, say 3 to 7 days, you'll get used to it. you'll even find yourself reciting gratitude every moment it crosses your mind, be it a 100 times.

Another thing you should do, is write down 20 things you know you are good at. "I am hardworking", "i am responsible", "I am disciplined", "I am..." this way, you are recognising and appreciating what you are good at. do it every time you feel down. i don't know you, but i can tell that you are likely to have the qualities i mentioned above.

for anger, try to read about the downsides and dangers of anger and malice. read on it, listen to people talk, meditate and talk to yourself about it. this way, you are taking in contrary information that you want to dislodge or at least, calming the anger down. it wont work immediately, but over time, you will start to small changes. our weaknesses weren't formed in one day, so they won't be dislodged in one either. it takes time. the earlier you start the better.

You should practice acceptance. acceptance is agreeing or accepting that something is the reality and allowing it to be that way. "oh, you are an angry person, OK, that's fine. i have it under check, so i am in control here and so i wont be loosing my mind". acceptance is a powerful therapy. you will find yourself changing as the anger will get dormant due to not finding expression and becoming redundant.

Again, regarding anger, force yourself to talk to or reconnect with someone who you cut off from. your ego will try to oppose you, but that is why you should do it, you want to be charge in of your ego. if you refuse to do it, then your ego is controlling you, hence your ego in charge, you have to understand that ego is the enemy. make peace or reconnect with someone who you fell out with starting with those who hurt you the least. tell yourself that, i have to make peace now because "i don't know tomorrow. this person could be my destiny helper tomorrow or one of us might be no more tomorrow. life is not guaranteed".make peace with one or two persons for a start. but don't force it if they wont reciprocate.

You should also learn and practice detachment. Detachment is the opposite of attachment. Attachment is connectedness to things we "own". "my house", "my car", "my money", "my pride" which is the major cause of anger and strife. Detachment will lessen your proneness to anger.

finally, pray. prayer works. pray when you are working and/or walking, in your heart, pray when you are happy, and when you are bathing. Prayer need not be a religious ritual.

forget all the advice telling you to take to drinking to forget about your anger. it might work for a time, but its not a conclusive solution. you are only trying to drown a feeling you should actively responded to and you also risk becoming an addict, which i think is worse than anger. I doubt you even drink, I might be wrong but, i could also be right.

I should add this last part, you should be patient with yourself and just grow. As you grow, you'll find out that you didn't consciously pay attention to your former struggles and you didn't know they left. Growth, is a builder.

I hope this helps.

you can still reach me if you need more help

I have this exact condition too. No matter what I do to improve and let go, I will aways see the images of the hurt and offence play out in my eyes, gbam, the malice that I've thrown away creeps back into me again. It is a cycle.


Hard and intensive exercise is helping me though.