Fiscus105:


Ur write up didn't project you as born again sir, going by ur references , arrogancy is one of cananities that must be purged out from who claimed to be born again, arrogancy and self righteous reek all over ur body .

Learn how not to be judgemental as Jesus did during his earthly ministry.

Nobody, I insist, nobody that cannot be tempted sir.

misconception everywhere.

chioma134:
This post was triggered by an earlier post I saw where the poster was having long talks with his friend's wife. I've been in a similar situation. I changed location and had to be separate from my family due to work. I was lonely and needed a friend. I talk with my husband regularly, but his interests are not my interests, so I find that besides household and family matters, we have little else to talk about. I found myself talking to this guy I met when I went for an official assignment. We started as friends, but we became attracted to each other. So when I travelled back to base, we started these long conversations. We're both born-again Christians and both married, so we kept to certain boundaries. I enjoyed conversing with him more than with my spouse. I became consumed with thoughts of him. He also expressed his desire and attraction towards me, but we laughed over it as jokes.

My husband noticed the conversations when I travelled home and became suspicious. He forbade me from speaking with him. He had never seen me have long talks with any friend, talkless of a male one. I informed my friend and he said no problem, he would wait till I travelled back to work base before he would continue. He later travelled to meet his family and conversation became scanty. I realized how much I was addicted to him when I couldn't talk to him as much as I wanted. He returned to base and we continued like before.

I started praying for God to help me overcome these desires. Maybe he also felt the same, because for some reasons I don't know, he reduced the frequency of calls and chats drastically. I didn't try to find out why, just thought the time-off would help me clear out immoral thoughts. But I got hurt when he acted indifferent on one occasion when I felt he should have shown more care. I asked him about it and he pretended not to understand what I was talking about. I read the writing on the wall, and decided to play along. So I said "bye. It was nice meeting you." Part of me was grateful it ended, another part was wishing I could still be with him. I love my husband and children, I cannot come and scatter my home.

He thought I was joking. I was no longer responding to his chats, and when I did, only with monosyllables. He became hurt and accused me of going silent on him. I told him he started it. He wanted me to become defensive, but the Holy Spirit whispered "keep quiet ". So I allowed him rant without saying anything. I thank God I didn't, because I would have exposed how deep my true feelings for him were.

Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine". My feelings have healed and I thank God we didn't continue because I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from an affair if we had eventually had any physical contact. I can categorically say I'm no longer in love with him.

I penned these down for those struggling with similar situations. Just cut off the relationship. Stop conversation, chatting, or physical contact. Then pray for God to help you overcome those lusty feelings.

Woman and man cannot just be casual friends. Eventually, sexual feelings would develop.

chioma134:

He later travelled to meet his family and conversation became scanty. I realized how much I was addicted to him when I couldn't talk to him as much as I wanted. He returned to base and we continued like before.

I started praying for God to help me overcome these desires. Maybe he also felt the same, because for some reasons I don't know, he reduced the frequency of calls and chats drastically. I didn't try to find out why, just thought the time-off would help me clear out immoral thoughts. But I got hurt when he acted indifferent on one occasion when I felt he should have shown more care. I asked him about it and he pretended not to understand what I was talking about. I read the writing on the wall, and decided to play along. So I said "bye. It was nice meeting you." Part of me was grateful it ended, another part was wishing I could still be with him. I love my husband and children, I cannot come and scatter my home.

He thought I was joking. I was no longer responding to his chats, and when I did, only with monosyllables. He became hurt and accused me of going silent on him. I told him he started it. He wanted me to become defensive, but the Holy Spirit whispered "keep quiet ". So I allowed him rant without saying anything. I thank God I didn't, because I would have exposed how deep my true feelings for him were.

Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine". My feelings have healed and I thank God we didn't continue because I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from an affair if we had eventually had any physical contact. I can categorically say I'm no longer in love with him.

Lol and you think all of these doesn't matter? Haha. You've just admitted to cheating on your husband woman. The guy might not have had sex with you physically, but he has already had his way with you emotionally. There's no difference, it carries same weight. Just imagine it was your husband saying how deep his feelings and love is for another woman. And he's hurting because the woman stops giving him attention and chatting sensually with him.

Some people won't tell you the truth here, but the truth is you haven't gotten over the said guy, your write up shows you are still hurting and haven't gotten over the guy, you're just making yourself believe your lies. Reason you come on Nairaland to try and revalidate your lies.

chioma134:
This post was triggered by an earlier post I saw where the poster was having long talks with his friend's wife. I've been in a similar situation. I changed location and had to be separate from my family due to work. I was lonely and needed a friend. I talk with my husband regularly, but his interests are not my interests, so I find that besides household and family matters, we have little else to talk about. I found myself talking to this guy I met when I went for an official assignment. We started as friends, but we became attracted to each other. So when I travelled back to base, we started these long conversations. We're both born-again Christians and both married, so we kept to certain boundaries. I enjoyed conversing with him more than with my spouse. I became consumed with thoughts of him. He also expressed his desire and attraction towards me, but we laughed over it as jokes.

My husband noticed the conversations when I travelled home and became suspicious. He forbade me from speaking with him. He had never seen me have long talks with any friend, talkless of a male one. I informed my friend and he said no problem, he would wait till I travelled back to work base before he would continue. He later travelled to meet his family and conversation became scanty. I realized how much I was addicted to him when I couldn't talk to him as much as I wanted. He returned to base and we continued like before.

I started praying for God to help me overcome these desires. Maybe he also felt the same, because for some reasons I don't know, he reduced the frequency of calls and chats drastically. I didn't try to find out why, just thought the time-off would help me clear out immoral thoughts. But I got hurt when he acted indifferent on one occasion when I felt he should have shown more care. I asked him about it and he pretended not to understand what I was talking about. I read the writing on the wall, and decided to play along. So I said "bye. It was nice meeting you." Part of me was grateful it ended, another part was wishing I could still be with him. I love my husband and children, I cannot come and scatter my home.

He thought I was joking. I was no longer responding to his chats, and when I did, only with monosyllables. He became hurt and accused me of going silent on him. I told him he started it. He wanted me to become defensive, but the Holy Spirit whispered "keep quiet ". So I allowed him rant without saying anything. I thank God I didn't, because I would have exposed how deep my true feelings for him were.

Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine". My feelings have healed and I thank God we didn't continue because I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from an affair if we had eventually had any physical contact. I can categorically say I'm no longer in love with him.

I penned these down for those struggling with similar situations. Just cut off the relationship. Stop conversation, chatting, or physical contact. Then pray for God to help you overcome those lusty feelings.

You demonstrated humanity in your post so I can't vilify you for your imperfections, however, you should severe all ties with him. You demonstrated your vulnerability earlier in your post, hence you should be careful.

As for the issue of being born again, you both should seek God more.

Fiscus105:



If she stops having male bestie, her weakness will remain inactive, no advice or play that opposite sex wants to give u that ur own gender can't offer, let stop pretending and latter blame devil.

Fact, your recommendation is valid but certainly not sustainable. Someone this vulnerable will still fall unless you block them off the cyber space and make them sit at home.

Its not over yet .
Soon you'd go back to work base , he'd say he's in your area by mistake, you'd make effort to see him, after dinning and reconnecting at the bar or restaurant.

He'd probably ask if you could follow him to check up on some stuff in his hotel room, from there, touchy touchy, pls stop stop,we are married , we are christian ,(voice begins to fade, once a finger goes in), from there pant don off , and head don enter.

If you want to cut off, cut off, this one the door is still open for small chat here and there, something go still happen and I hope once it does you can also make a post about it

But she was bold and honest enough to mention her struggles, at least...
Your 'holier-than-thou' attitude can't take you anywhere.

oldienavie:

This was exactly the same thing going through my head, the type of people calling themselves Born again these days is shocking.
This is what Christianity has become, it has been very diluted.
Someone that should bury her head in shame and cry out for forgiveness, someone still keeping in contact with the same person she committed emotional adultery with is still proud to seat on the throne of advise.

I bet she is a "women leader" in church teaching young women.
Such a terrible and sad thing to read, that a wife and a mother can become so loose as to make themselves vulnerable to this point highlights how weak this person is spiritually.

As a born again person, your spiritual antenna ought to be able to spot these kind of things from a yard away.

Reminds me of a particular white girl in my church, I knew she loved me and I always avoided her, we were put in a group together and she eventually got my phone number, that was when the stalking began. But having a pre-knowledge of her intentions I already knew how to handle it.

By the way I am single, so I wonder when married people who claim to be christians and have loving families behave like goats on heat without self control.

It is a shame... spits

chioma134:
This post was triggered by an earlier post I saw where the poster was having long talks with his friend's wife. I've been in a similar situation. I changed location and had to be separate from my family due to work. I was lonely and needed a friend. I talk with my husband regularly, but his interests are not my interests, so I find that besides household and family matters, we have little else to talk about. I found myself talking to this guy I met when I went for an official assignment. We started as friends, but we became attracted to each other. So when I travelled back to base, we started these long conversations. We're both born-again Christians and both married, so we kept to certain boundaries. I enjoyed conversing with him more than with my spouse. I became consumed with thoughts of him. He also expressed his desire and attraction towards me, but we laughed over it as jokes.

My husband noticed the conversations when I travelled home and became suspicious. He forbade me from speaking with him. He had never seen me have long talks with any friend, talkless of a male one. I informed my friend and he said no problem, he would wait till I travelled back to work base before he would continue. He later travelled to meet his family and conversation became scanty. I realized how much I was addicted to him when I couldn't talk to him as much as I wanted. He returned to base and we continued like before.

I started praying for God to help me overcome these desires. Maybe he also felt the same, because for some reasons I don't know, he reduced the frequency of calls and chats drastically. I didn't try to find out why, just thought the time-off would help me clear out immoral thoughts. But I got hurt when he acted indifferent on one occasion when I felt he should have shown more care. I asked him about it and he pretended not to understand what I was talking about. I read the writing on the wall, and decided to play along. So I said "bye. It was nice meeting you." Part of me was grateful it ended, another part was wishing I could still be with him. I love my husband and children, I cannot come and scatter my home.

He thought I was joking. I was no longer responding to his chats, and when I did, only with monosyllables. He became hurt and accused me of going silent on him. I told him he started it. He wanted me to become defensive, but the Holy Spirit whispered "keep quiet ". So I allowed him rant without saying anything. I thank God I didn't, because I would have exposed how deep my true feelings for him were.

Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine". My feelings have healed and I thank God we didn't continue because I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from an affair if we had eventually had any physical contact. I can categorically say I'm no longer in love with him.

I penned these down for those struggling with similar situations. Just cut off the relationship. Stop conversation, chatting, or physical contact. Then pray for God to help you overcome those lusty feelings.

He will sha still knack U in this life

May God help me, that is the situation I am inside now as a single guy at 30

postmann:
In pure undiluted scriptural standard, you've committed adultery with him already. Just so you know that.

But rather more important is your very last paragraph of advice to other women who might be going through similar temptation as you. Here, let me quote you:

"Just cut off the relationship. Stop conversation, chatting, or physical contact. Then pray for God to help you overcome those lusty feelings"

Now, here's the irony buried in the paragraph before last:

"Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine"

While you still keep the door ajar for prospective adultery with this same idiot, (most likely when you and hubby have a fight) you are advising other women going through similar challenge to cut off chats totally. You know the intention of this iniquitous pig and your own abominable longings and vulnerability towards him yet you still entertain his obviously probing "how are you's." You're still an unrepentant adulterer and you need counseling and deliverance before entertaining the idea of climbing that virtual pulpit you just did by preaching this sermon. And may GOD help your husband who's ignorant enough to permit that stupid work of yours that has no respect for matrimony to post you outside his location.

What’s with all the insults and vile name calling? in the name of giving someone undiluted scriptural standard? Is that how your scriptures taught you to speak? Unwholesomely?

You are obviously a self righteous , holier-than-thou type. Remember ,( according to your scriptures) your righteousness is like a filthy rag in Gods sight.

Only love can save you.

Learn how to love.

Christianity today in summary.

Na their way. Anyways, continue since you still say the occasional hello's.

Olosho oliriburiku filthy people.

You people should stop giving advise like a special adviser on social media. Just get on with your life. If you have feelings for these other man, kindly do well to satisfy your urge, but please also do well to let your innocent husband aware of your escapades. That is fair at least. Let the innocent man know that you are in love with another man who is giving you all the attention that you so much desperately crave for.

Your live your life once not twice. Your husband deserve to know so he can appropriately plan his future with or without you there. Marriage is supposed to be enjoyable and not to be endured. It is just a matter of time, this woman will definitely sleep with this man, she is only looking for a genuine excuse to do that. Just a little provocation from the husband is enough to trigger all the feelings for this man and it is only a matter of how many rounds of sex will take.

I just pity the Men who are husbands to these kind of attention seeking desperadoes who would do anything to satisfy their inbriddled list for another married man. At the end of the day, the marriage of these family be broken and their children will pay the price more .

Kobojunkie:
Let me try to break it down for you somehow!

I didn't say mental capacity but instead mental discipline. It doesn't matter who you run into, whether playboy or whatever you tag such individuals, a mentally disciplined individual, would know to prioritize the friendship over anything else, even lustful ideas.

I have myself seen this in many around me. There are friendships between individuals running over 30 - 40 years, some having met back in kindergarten but now married. How do they keep their friendships going strong even while married to other spouses? They prioritize their friendship over things like lust and the lot that will devastate their lives. I have even has one quoting the golden rule as reason why he would never cross that line because he loves his friends too much to want to see them hurt by such meaningless things..

Madam soldiers go , soldiers come Barack remains, friend comes friend goes, ur family remain intact till death, our fore father buttressed it that 20 kids cannot be friends for 20 years, why you want to keep ur friend of kindergarten/ other friends strong as ever?

Don't you you have work than to having different friends?

Madam, thre are some friends which are useful at certain times but harmful wen one advancing in age, even same gender.

Meanwhile, nobody ask u not to be friend with anybody, but it shouldn't be close friends, ur husband is supposed to be ur best friend , you can also have other same gender friend.

Let me tell u raw fact, friendship do more harm than good o, most especially wen one is advancing in age, 30 upward, I pray you will never remember my chat with you and I say hard I know in future.

Kobojunkie:
Like I said on another thread, not everyone has what I refer to as mental maturity to engage in these kinds of relationships for real.

No matter the level of mental maturity, the emotional vulnerability is the most important. That aspect has some spiritual component to it which is intangible. The most brilliant people with emotional intelligence fall prey to this game. Best is to avoid it.

chioma134:
This post was triggered by an earlier post I saw where the poster was having long talks with his friend's wife. I've been in a similar situation. I changed location and had to be separate from my family due to work. I was lonely and needed a friend. I talk with my husband regularly, but his interests are not my interests, so I find that besides household and family matters, we have little else to talk about. I found myself talking to this guy I met when I went for an official assignment. We started as friends, but we became attracted to each other. So when I travelled back to base, we started these long conversations. We're both born-again Christians and both married, so we kept to certain boundaries. I enjoyed conversing with him more than with my spouse. I became consumed with thoughts of him. He also expressed his desire and attraction towards me, but we laughed over it as jokes.

My husband noticed the conversations when I travelled home and became suspicious. He forbade me from speaking with him. He had never seen me have long talks with any friend, talkless of a male one. I informed my friend and he said no problem, he would wait till I travelled back to work base before he would continue. He later travelled to meet his family and conversation became scanty. I realized how much I was addicted to him when I couldn't talk to him as much as I wanted. He returned to base and we continued like before.

I started praying for God to help me overcome these desires. Maybe he also felt the same, because for some reasons I don't know, he reduced the frequency of calls and chats drastically. I didn't try to find out why, just thought the time-off would help me clear out immoral thoughts. But I got hurt when he acted indifferent on one occasion when I felt he should have shown more care. I asked him about it and he pretended not to understand what I was talking about. I read the writing on the wall, and decided to play along. So I said "bye. It was nice meeting you." Part of me was grateful it ended, another part was wishing I could still be with him. I love my husband and children, I cannot come and scatter my home.

He thought I was joking. I was no longer responding to his chats, and when I did, only with monosyllables. He became hurt and accused me of going silent on him. I told him he started it. He wanted me to become defensive, but the Holy Spirit whispered "keep quiet ". So I allowed him rant without saying anything. I thank God I didn't, because I would have exposed how deep my true feelings for him were.

Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine". My feelings have healed and I thank God we didn't continue because I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from an affair if we had eventually had any physical contact. I can categorically say I'm no longer in love with him.

I penned these down for those struggling with similar situations. Just cut off the relationship. Stop conversation, chatting, or physical contact. Then pray for God to help you overcome those lusty feelings.

Interesting....You must be a beautiful woman tho.

Mryacks:
The question I always poised to people is, how would you geneuinely feel if your partner does or is doing same thing that you are doing in secret? The answer will help one to think deep over the consequey of their actions...

Selfish interest blinds sense of upright reasoning.

Op can never admit crossing borders, i am tempted to believe she did the unimaginable but can not admit it here.

Born again ko, born twice ni!

gracealonev:
But she was bold and honest enough to mention her struggles, at least...
Your 'holier-than-thou' attitude can't take you anywhere.

Her struggles or her fantasies?

chioma134:


Well, I suppose you're a Christian too. You should be conversant with Jesus' words when he told the crowd that came to stone the adulterous woman that "he that is without sin should cast the first stone." I'm no angel, I admit my faults. However, those lustful feelings I talked about are much more common than you think. You cannot prevent a bird from perching, but you can prevent it from building a nest on your head. Even you are not exempted if you are honest enough to admit it, except you're a eunuch.

Also, I have received forgiveness and there is now no condemnation for me in Christ Jesus. Therefore, I refuse to allow your "stone" to hit me. And I hope you have removed the log in your own eyes before coming to remove the speck in mine.

All the same, I kept his contact because we still work for the same organisation, and communication lines should be kept open.

Shalom

"I'm no angel, I admit my faults. However, those lustful feelings I talked about are much more common than you think."

The bolded is so true.

ireneidiva:

I don't think you are okay. She realized her errors and turned a new leaf and you are still criticizing her. How are you okay?

The goal, though unconscious is never to be certified OK by your type.

God bless you for this confession.
Fake and pretenders and those trying to deceive or mislead others will say its okay to be close to the opposite sex or bestie with the opposite sex. I look them and laff. The devil don die?
You as a matried woman and him too married see where it was going to.
Keep a platonic relationship with the opposite sex and avoid any communication that is not professional.

Thank God for the holy spirit that directed your actions and steered you away from destruction.

Antimaraige:
I feel some missing parts in the story

The parts where they mistakenly went out on a date and kissed by mistake... Then they were together alone in a room and he accidentally tripped over and fell on her leading to penetration by mistake?

Kobojunkie:
Like I said on another thread, not everyone have what I refer to as mental maturity to engage in these kinds of relationships for real.

Mental maturity, just like psychosanity and other form of aptitudinal elements are subject to absolute psychological rationality, a dimension existing in discrete states of xteristic energy level between individuals hence some other individuals may have handled the situation differently to also possibly a calamitous end reason why we have uncountable threads being posted here about how men and women who caught their partners cheating has out of provocation committed murder or even the reverse, emotion outweighing other elements and rendering a particular state of the mind as relates to absolute psychological rationality. If we can't think right, we can't right. Let our actions be guided by proper rationality

See crowd na....

anonimi:


Where did she use the word-totally, misitah pious sanctimonious not-idiot

You must be an anencephalic dweeb if that was actually a question.

She said "STOP" all chats, physical contact and conversation. That means cease, desist from, erase, bring to an end, totally. She didn't say "LIMIT" all chat.

oldienavie:

This was exactly the same thing going through my head, the type of people calling themselves Born again these days is shocking.
This is what Christianity has become, it has been very diluted.
Someone that should bury her head in shame and cry out for forgiveness, someone still keeping in contact with the same person she committed emotional adultery with is still proud to seat on the throne of advise.

I bet she is a "women leader" in church teaching young women.
Such a terrible and sad thing to read, that a wife and a mother can become so loose as to make themselves vulnerable to this point highlights how weak this person is spiritually.

As a born again person, your spiritual antenna ought to be able to spot these kind of things from a yard away.

Reminds me of a particular white girl in my church, I knew she loved me and I always avoided her, we were put in a group together and she eventually got my phone number, that was when the stalking began. But having a pre-knowledge of her intentions I already knew how to handle it.

By the way I am single, so I wonder when married people who claim to be christians and have loving families behave like goats on heat without self control.
It is a shame... spits

I scoff at this sanctimonious posture. She's only human, living in a city full of sin. She got tempted and I'll score her high in the way she managed the temptation. Someone is even suggesting the husband shouldn't allow her continue with the employment that takes her out of her home. What's the meaning of that? What do you know about the family's finances? What if that job is central to their survival as a family? And who says a husband has the sole right to pick and choose the type of work the wife does? Those trying to apply the undiluted biblical standards would tell me how comfortable they would feel if their wife offers them their housemaid to sleep with (as Sarah did to Abraham) or when they suddenly lose all contact with their spouse only for them to turn up three days after to tell them they were swallowed by a fish for all of those three days and taken to another city for evangelism( as we were told about Jonah). I'm sure even the most faithful pastors among them would struggle with these scenarios .

I repeat, the woman is only human. I'm impressed with the way she managed the situation. These times are very different from biblical times. Even the bible has the old and new testament...

I have said it times without number that married women are very vulnerable , all they really need is attention and care and if they are not getting it from their husband then it becomes a problem. Just imagine if the other married man had made a move on OP , am 95% sure she'd have succumbed lol. Op am happy for you though

I have slept with married women and some confided in me that their husbands abandoned them , it's too bad. Husbands in the house please let us try to show care to our wives, talk with them , etc.

chioma134:
This post was triggered by an earlier post I saw where the poster was having long talks with his friend's wife. I've been in a similar situation. I changed location and had to be separate from my family due to work. I was lonely and needed a friend. I talk with my husband regularly, but his interests are not my interests, so I find that besides household and family matters, we have little else to talk about. I found myself talking to this guy I met when I went for an official assignment. We started as friends, but we became attracted to each other. So when I travelled back to base, we started these long conversations. We're both born-again Christians and both married, so we kept to certain boundaries. I enjoyed conversing with him more than with my spouse. I became consumed with thoughts of him. He also expressed his desire and attraction towards me, but we laughed over it as jokes.

My husband noticed the conversations when I travelled home and became suspicious. He forbade me from speaking with him. He had never seen me have long talks with any friend, talkless of a male one. I informed my friend and he said no problem, he would wait till I travelled back to work base before he would continue. He later travelled to meet his family and conversation became scanty. I realized how much I was addicted to him when I couldn't talk to him as much as I wanted. He returned to base and we continued like before.

I started praying for God to help me overcome these desires. Maybe he also felt the same, because for some reasons I don't know, he reduced the frequency of calls and chats drastically. I didn't try to find out why, just thought the time-off would help me clear out immoral thoughts. But I got hurt when he acted indifferent on one occasion when I felt he should have shown more care. I asked him about it and he pretended not to understand what I was talking about. I read the writing on the wall, and decided to play along. So I said "bye. It was nice meeting you." Part of me was grateful it ended, another part was wishing I could still be with him. I love my husband and children, I cannot come and scatter my home.

He thought I was joking. I was no longer responding to his chats, and when I did, only with monosyllables. He became hurt and accused me of going silent on him. I told him he started it. He wanted me to become defensive, but the Holy Spirit whispered "keep quiet ". So I allowed him rant without saying anything. I thank God I didn't, because I would have exposed how deep my true feelings for him were.

Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine". My feelings have healed and I thank God we didn't continue because I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from an affair if we had eventually had any physical contact. I can categorically say I'm no longer in love with him.

I penned these down for those struggling with similar situations. Just cut off the relationship. Stop conversation, chatting, or physical contact. Then pray for God to help you overcome those lusty feelings.

what a positive and victorious outcome. You did well.

chioma134:
This post was triggered by an earlier post I saw where the poster was having long talks with his friend's wife. I've been in a similar situation. I changed location and had to be separate from my family due to work. I was lonely and needed a friend. I talk with my husband regularly, but his interests are not my interests, so I find that besides household and family matters, we have little else to talk about. I found myself talking to this guy I met when I went for an official assignment. We started as friends, but we became attracted to each other. So when I travelled back to base, we started these long conversations. We're both born-again Christians and both married, so we kept to certain boundaries. I enjoyed conversing with him more than with my spouse. I became consumed with thoughts of him. He also expressed his desire and attraction towards me, but we laughed over it as jokes.

My husband noticed the conversations when I travelled home and became suspicious. He forbade me from speaking with him. He had never seen me have long talks with any friend, talkless of a male one. I informed my friend and he said no problem, he would wait till I travelled back to work base before he would continue. He later travelled to meet his family and conversation became scanty. I realized how much I was addicted to him when I couldn't talk to him as much as I wanted. He returned to base and we continued like before.

I started praying for God to help me overcome these desires. Maybe he also felt the same, because for some reasons I don't know, he reduced the frequency of calls and chats drastically. I didn't try to find out why, just thought the time-off would help me clear out immoral thoughts. But I got hurt when he acted indifferent on one occasion when I felt he should have shown more care. I asked him about it and he pretended not to understand what I was talking about. I read the writing on the wall, and decided to play along. So I said "bye. It was nice meeting you." Part of me was grateful it ended, another part was wishing I could still be with him. I love my husband and children, I cannot come and scatter my home.

He thought I was joking. I was no longer responding to his chats, and when I did, only with monosyllables. He became hurt and accused me of going silent on him. I told him he started it. He wanted me to become defensive, but the Holy Spirit whispered "keep quiet ". So I allowed him rant without saying anything. I thank God I didn't, because I would have exposed how deep my true feelings for him were.

Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine". My feelings have healed and I thank God we didn't continue because I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from an affair if we had eventually had any physical contact. I can categorically say I'm no longer in love with him.

I penned these down for those struggling with similar situations. Just cut off the relationship. Stop conversation, chatting, or physical contact. Then pray for God to help you overcome those lusty feelings.

The only saving grace in this your story was that you guys didnt see physically cause i dont see you resisting a hot nacking with him. People should stop sacrificing their marriages for a feel good moment. You dont play with molten rock and expect not to get burnt!

Thank God you did the right thing
Is good to always invite the Holy spirit for guidance or direction when you are facing a difficulty

Sekoni003:
I have a rule; regardless of the bond or memories we used to share as friends of the opposite sex, once you get married, I tone down communication between us to the barest minimum. It's a hard choice but I'd rather not see myself as the man who ruined another man's home.

About about being close friends with already married women, that's another big NO for me. We are humans with feelings and emotions, not pre-programmed robots. Women especially tend to fall for someone who's always there to listen and be a shoulder to lean on and all that stuff. I've had several instances where I've had to subtly and politely decline a close friendship with married women. Your husband's shoulders should be more than enough for you to lean on. If you have problems, get a therapist. Muchísimas gracias

Dude u are a soldier , God bless u . I share the same idea with u .