joyandfaith:


That is what i am trying to say. Woman and man cannot just be casual friends. Eventually, sexual feelings would develop from one or both parties.

Well. I've had at least seven to ten female companions and never had sex with any or even fantasize about sex with them.


The spirit of a man is subject to a man.


My.rule when it comes to sex is that I must desire it and it must be deliberate and intentional otherwise I'm not taking. It has kept me up and running for years

Kobojunkie:
I know many people here who are still friends with those of the opposite sex from even kindergarten days that have not cheated even after more than 3 decades of friendship.

Cheating has little to do with marriage but more to do with mental maturity.

Friendship with the opposite sex from childhood is different.
They grow up to have siblings kind of affection for one another.

DoctorOlasDesk:



Well. I've had at least seven to ten female companions and never had sex with any or even fantasize about sex with them.


The spirit of a man is subject to a man.


My.rule when it comes to sex is that I must desire it and it must be deliberate and intentional otherwise I'm not taking. It has kept me up and running for years

It is not about you but others. Never trust your heart. Take precautions.

This threads reeks of bad bloods and prostitutes. They're smelling here, I'm out

The ones that leave their spouse and go abroad?
Are they leaving their spouse of their own free will, or their company is sending them abroad for work?

nenyewrites:


Lol, the ones that leave their spouse and go abroad nko?

the one that got away.

CSTRR:
If that man was not born again, he would have slept with you because he would have never let go that easily.

Na him go even dey pour fuel to your fire of affections for him.
You are lucky.

The man is actually the one that saved the day.

She is here getting praises as if she was strong enough to zipp up..when it was the man that ignored her first which allowed the burning feelings to wane.

The women we have today are extra cheap to lay. Its just in the hands of the men. Once the man decides not to Bleep...she is saved. But if the man wants it, its ABC.

The man in the story would have slept with the OP severally if he wanted to. The OP is just like other women - weak and cheap. The man freed her..and she dey form born again. No true born again nurtures fornication in her mind talk less adultery. She is probably one of these christ embassy members or new generation churches that throws "born again" about thinking its by mouth. Meanwhile they dress scantily to church.

AjiBussu:


Don't worry your husband will also find a BORN-AGAIN woman that share similar interests with him. Hope you'd get to understand when you find out. Whats good for the gosse should be good for the gander

I want to belive you did not read her story ..

MeghaneMorgane:
Once you stop the communication, the feelings will leave. It is only normal. What fuels feelings is communication.

Feelings has no place when there is no communication.

That is why I cut constant communication with all my male friend when they get married. If we are constantly communicating, just know that the phone is on speaker and his wife is mostly in the conversation.

I’m glad you overcame

When married couples stop communicating, just know that divorce is on the way.

You cut communication with all male friends once they're married but not when they're courting or in a relationship/dating? What are you trying to achieve?


You communicate with your crush, yes??

Emaprince:
The man is actually the one that saved the day.

She is here getting praises as if she was strong enough to zipp up..when it was the man that ignored her first which allowed the burning feelings to wane.

The women we have today are extra cheap to lay. Its just in the hands of the men. Once the man decides not to Bleep...she is saved. But if the man wants it, its ABC.

The man in the story would have slept with the OP severally if he wanted to. The OP is just like other women - weak and cheap. The man freed her..and she dey form born again. No true born again nurtures fornication in her mind talk less adultery. She is probably one of these christ embassy members or new generation churches that throws "born again" about thinking its by mouth. Meanwhile they dress scantily to church.

brother calm down ,, even as Christians we are prone to temptation ,, yours may be greed and selfishness, any one can Bleep up ,, she was battling with her conscience and some how she overcame . E dey happen , take gender out of this ..

joyandfaith:


It is not about you but others. Never trust your heart. Take precautions.

Yes. Thanks. I don't meet females one on one in private by any means


You're right sha. This sex thing. God will help us

I can't believe a 'born again' will write this.
You must be young both physically and spiritually to have this mindset.
This is the type of mindset that make idol worshippers appear more loving than 'christians'.
Have you heard of wounded soldiers before?
Even when Jesus was tempted at Gethsemane, angels had to minister to Him.
He that think he is standing should take heed less he falls.
Shallom

oldienavie:

This was exactly the same thing going through my head, the type of people calling themselves Born again these days is shocking.
This is what Christianity has become, it has been very diluted.
Someone that should bury her head in shame and cry out for forgiveness, someone still keeping in contact with the same person she committed emotional adultery with is still proud to seat on the throne of advise.

I bet she is a "women leader" in church teaching young women.
Such a terrible and sad thing to read, that a wife and a mother can become so loose as to make themselves vulnerable to this point highlights how weak this person is spiritually.

As a born again person, your spiritual antenna ought to be able to spot these kind of things from a yard away.

Reminds me of a particular white girl in my church, I knew she loved me and I always avoided her, we were put in a group together and she eventually got my phone number, that was when the stalking began. But having a pre-knowledge of her intentions I already knew how to handle it.

By the way I am single, so I wonder when married people who claim to be christians and have loving families behave like goats on heat without self control.

It is a shame... spits

postmann:
You must be an anencephalic dweeb if that was actually a question.

She said "STOP" all chats, physical contact and conversation. That means cease, desist from, erase, bring to an end, totally. She didn't say "LIMIT" all chat.

Again, where did she use the word, all?
If she did not use that word, what does that make you? A liar? A chronic liar desperate to push his pointless point

unscripted:
brother calm down ,, even as Christians we are prone to temptation ,, yours may be greed and selfishness, any one can Bleep up ,, she was battling with her conscience and some how she overcame . E dey happen , take gender out of this ..

Exactly.
Does the Lord's Prayer, addressed to disciples not include:

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

princeeze1:
Where married couples are involved, there should be boundaries! I used to have a bestie who was like a sister from work place when we were both unmarried. After I got married, she continued to be free around my place and with my family, and this caused huge tensions between myself and wifey. Mind you, there was never a thing between us, no feelings, no lust. God so kind, she found someone and got married and I consciously tried to tone down and avoid her altogether. When she enquiries why, I was blunt and told her that she was married and I did not want her hubby to feel awkward and she understood.
Then the devil struck one night she had a disagreement with her hubby and since we lived in same city, she angrily left and landed in my house. I noticed it was marital issues and requested her hubby’s number so I could speak with him, at least let him know she was in my place that night, she refused, all the while , her hubby was calling and she refused picking up. As God would have it my phone rang and I never knew her hubby had my number as I did not have his. The moment he introduced himself, I informed him his wife was in my place, he did not allow me land, he was like “no problem, the two of you can enjoy yourself and have a nice life”. It took God, the presence of my wife in the house to finally convince her hubby about my own version of events.
Would I blame him? No! Was it his insecurities as some would want to frame it? No also! Now I understood clearly how my wife felt at the initial stage in marriage when she frequently featured in our home, I juxtaposed it with how her hubby felt. I also imagined how I would feel if a male bestie featured regularly in my wife’s life. No definition would be good enough, opposite sex bestie is a sign of absolute disrespect to your spouse!!!

You are absolutely correct.

Our prayers is that the Holy Spirirt will help us to flee all appearances of evil.

Let us all pray to have a sweet home and be contented. The OP was not contented enough with her husband not chatting along her mindset as she wish triggered the whole journey.

That was the avenue the devil used to lucnh the attack. Many of us have passed this way but God saved us too.

Would anyone want his/her spouse also taste this,No.

So keep to your spouse and find way to be compatible.

Madam OP pls tell us the honest truth and we'll not kill you. You fvcked with this man and somehow along the lines, the relationship got broken and he left (after collecting his own share of your kpekus) and you regretted it and inquired why, he gave you cold answer and you decided to keep cool. Not because you didn't wish to continue but because you've counted your loses and decided to lay low and maintain the "co-worker" status with him.
These are what I deduced from your write-up, no offense.

joyandfaith:


Woman and man cannot just be casual friends. Eventually, sexual feelings would develop.

except if one of them is very ugly or deformed.

Female nature
My only problem is you making a mockery of "born again"
I mean you're "born again" and you don't know you've committed adultery? And [/i]Peruzzing[i] through your write-up you didn't even follow the biblical write-up to "flee"
Bible wasn't wrong to say resist the devil
Whole devil bible say RESIST but you see fornication/adultery it said RUN


Did you run?
Well, you just making light of the born again word and your marriage

chioma134:
Well, I suppose you're a Christian too. You should be conversant with Jesus' words when he told the crowd that came to stone the adulterous woman that "he that is without sin should cast the first stone." I'm no angel, I admit my faults. However, those lustful feelings I talked about are much more common than you think. You cannot prevent a bird from perching, but you can prevent it from building a nest on your head. Even you are not exempted if you are honest enough to admit it, except you're a eunuch.

Also, I have received forgiveness and there is now no condemnation for me in Christ Jesus. Therefore, I refuse to allow your "stone" to hit me. And I hope you have removed the log in your own eyes before coming to remove the speck in mine.

All the same, I kept his contact because we still work for the same organisation, and communication lines should be kept open.

Shalom

Just seeing your response to sanctimonious postmann.
Well written.

Hmmm

This is a very serious issue

chioma134:
This post was triggered by an earlier post I saw where the poster was having long talks with his friend's wife. I've been in a similar situation. I changed location and had to be separate from my family due to work. I was lonely and needed a friend. I talk with my husband regularly, but his interests are not my interests, so I find that besides household and family matters, we have little else to talk about. I found myself talking to this guy I met when I went for an official assignment. We started as friends, but we became attracted to each other. So when I travelled back to base, we started these long conversations. We're both born-again Christians and both married, so we kept to certain boundaries. I enjoyed conversing with him more than with my spouse. I became consumed with thoughts of him. He also expressed his desire and attraction towards me, but we laughed over it as jokes.

My husband noticed the conversations when I travelled home and became suspicious. He forbade me from speaking with him. He had never seen me have long talks with any friend, talkless of a male one. I informed my friend and he said no problem, he would wait till I travelled back to work base before he would continue. He later travelled to meet his family and conversation became scanty. I realized how much I was addicted to him when I couldn't talk to him as much as I wanted. He returned to base and we continued like before.

I started praying for God to help me overcome these desires. Maybe he also felt the same, because for some reasons I don't know, he reduced the frequency of calls and chats drastically. I didn't try to find out why, just thought the time-off would help me clear out immoral thoughts. But I got hurt when he acted indifferent on one occasion when I felt he should have shown more care. I asked him about it and he pretended not to understand what I was talking about. I read the writing on the wall, and decided to play along. So I said "bye. It was nice meeting you." Part of me was grateful it ended, another part was wishing I could still be with him. I love my husband and children, I cannot come and scatter my home.

He thought I was joking. I was no longer responding to his chats, and when I did, only with monosyllables. He became hurt and accused me of going silent on him. I told him he started it. He wanted me to become defensive, but the Holy Spirit whispered "keep quiet ". So I allowed him rant without saying anything. I thank God I didn't, because I would have exposed how deep my true feelings for him were.

Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine". My feelings have healed and I thank God we didn't continue because I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from an affair if we had eventually had any physical contact. I can categorically say I'm no longer in love with him.

I penned these down for those struggling with similar situations. Just cut off the relationship. Stop conversation, chatting, or physical contact. Then pray for God to help you overcome those lusty feelings.

I hope people learn from this. Being religious doesn't make you any less or more human. You are still human and don't have any special power that will make you less susceptible to the vagaries of life.

anonimi:


Again, where did she use the word, all?
If she did not use that word, what does that make you? A liar? A chronic liar desperate to push his pointless point

Now, I had to do a cursory glance at your previous posts to determine your gender, given that there's no gender indicator attached to your sobriquet. It wasn't a coincidence the lack thereof. It reflects your views and general outlook.

You epicene, analphabetic degenerate.

Emaprince:
The man is actually the one that saved the day.

She is here getting praises as if she was strong enough to zipp up..when it was the man that ignored her first which allowed the burning feelings to wane.

The women we have today are extra cheap to lay. Its just in the hands of the men. Once the man decides not to Bleep...she is saved. But if the man wants it, its ABC.

The man in the story would have slept with the OP severally if he wanted to. The OP is just like other women - weak and cheap. The man freed her..and she dey form born again. No true born again nurtures fornication in her mind talk less adultery. She is probably one of these christ embassy members or new generation churches that throws "born again" about thinking its by mouth. Meanwhile they dress scantily to church.

God bless you my bro
Live long and prosper!

Acidosis:


You cut communication with all male friends once they're married but not when they're courting or in a relationship/dating? What are you trying to achieve?


You communicate with your crush, yes??

I’m trying to make them concentrate on their marriage. Once they tell me they are seeing someone who they intend to eventually marry, I keep my distance.

oldienavie:

This was exactly the same thing going through my head, the type of people calling themselves Born again these days is shocking.
This is what Christianity has become, it has been very diluted.
Someone that should bury her head in shame and cry out for forgiveness, someone still keeping in contact with the same person she committed emotional adultery with is still proud to seat on the throne of advise.

I bet she is a "women leader" in church teaching young women.
Such a terrible and sad thing to read, that a wife and a mother can become so loose as to make themselves vulnerable to this point highlights how weak this person is spiritually.

As a born again person, your spiritual antenna ought to be able to spot these kind of things from a yard away.

Reminds me of a particular white girl in my church, I knew she loved me and I always avoided her, we were put in a group together and she eventually got my phone number, that was when the stalking began. But having a pre-knowledge of her intentions I already knew how to handle it.

By the way I am single, so I wonder when married people who claim to be christians and have loving families behave like goats on heat without self control.

It is a shame... spits

A sister just narrated her struggle and how God came to her aid. You could have advised her to flee and permanently cut all ties, but no, instead you spat on her and we are supposed to believe you are the real born again.

Jesus line of "whoever is sinless should cast the first stone" will forever remain a classic.

Nobody can judge you, and nobody is a saint. You probably handled the situation better than most people. You're strong!!

But, don't forget that the deed had already been done. Logically, this sin has already been committed by you.

The man probably recoiled the first time because he perceived you as a temptation and weakness to his righteousness (bonragainness).

But, the little indepth fear of God in you and your mental strength forced you to act like the born again you are and ended the immoral affair.

Being the typical man, your lover felt belittled by your ability to get over his charm (This charm is his pride and your failure to fell for it forced him to reach out to you again to taunt your emotional judgement of the matter.)

If you were not mentally strong, you'd have fallen for his last minute attempt, which was to check if he was still that special man in your life.

Conclusion

If your lover had not decreased velocity in the initial phase, he would have been able to lay with you over and over and over again. And yet, don't forget that it's not over!! He will keep coming back and one day you'll fell for it and have an experience of that lust that you shut down for morality sake.

Kobojunkie:
No clue what that means..

My bad; I quoted the wrong moniker.

That's why I snub.

It's the only way for me to send the signal to a female

Hi chioma123. Glad you were able to overcome the temptation.

Doesn't really make sense to be closer to any opposite-sex than your spouse.

You are strong and came out victorious.

It's not a sin to be tempted but it's a sin to fall into the temptation.
Even Jesus Christ was tempted.
Even though your strength was aided by distance.

No one can have it alllll in marriage.

You may have a husband that's boring or uptight, not interesting.

But please, what you guys produced and are building together is a million times more valuable than
*friendship*,
*shoulder to cry on*,
*Interesting catch up on social media trending issues*
*Flings*


You guys are nuturing lives of your children,
Building a home
Building finances for projects


Choose which is more valuable, even if it comes with boredom or lack of sexual-chemistry.

Sekoni003:
I have a rule; regardless of the bond or memories we used to share as friends of the opposite sex, once you get married, I tone down communication between us to the barest minimum. It's a hard choice but I'd rather not see myself as the man who ruined another man's home.

About about being close friends with already married women, that's another big NO for me. We are humans with feelings and emotions, not pre-programmed robots. Women especially tend to fall for someone who's always there to listen and be a shoulder to lean on and all that stuff. I've had several instances where I've had to subtly and politely decline a close friendship with married women. Your husband's shoulders should be more than enough for you to lean on. If you have problems, get a therapist. Muchísimas gracias

You're a rare gem.
Keep it up in your belief