Kobojunkie:
Seems this "truth" applies mainly with Nigerian men as men from other cultures elsewhere still have pride and value for themselves in marriage.

Nah, this is not peculiar to Nigerian men and neither does culture or values play any role here. The point is that a lot of married men abroad can't completely abstain from sex because this requires a great deal of self discipline and this is not something everyone is capable of.

Juoflife1:
Simple matter. Pretend you didn't see it, show him more love. When you get there, dump him and find another man.

I was looking for this comment

In Nigeria, a man can decide to marry more than one wife and society accepts it because its cultural and biblical. Women do not have such liberties so arguing reality is not a way to push gender supremacy. Men are men, women are women...not same!

Kobojunkie:
Making what sense? The way you folks define sense, someone would think logical rules are overturned once Nigeria is involved.

Soulvein:
1. Nah, this is not peculiar to Nigerian men and neither does culture or values play any role here.

2. The point is that a lot of married men abroad can't stay celibate or completely abstain from sex because this requires aa great deal of elf discipline and this is not something eeveryone is capable of.

1. From what you describe, it is.

2. Your point makes no sense since we ain't discussing celibacy or complete abstinence but Marriage and what it means to be Married to those married.

palsenator:



Unfortunately for the female folks, it's the man's world. What we get away with as men, they dare not attempt them. It's the unfair part of life

But when women start engaging in paternity frauds, you all will cry fowl. Mtchww

TheGoodAmerican:
Smh. Wake up and smell the coffee - you married a bro-ho. He's already cheating by being on there and messaging women, that is, if he hasn't yet met any to sleep with them. He has no respect for your marriage and definitely none for you. I can't imagine being married to a loser who then joins a dating site. Say what now? Let a nigguh try me. Pfft.

And his brothers here are defending it. Dating app? As in, dating app? A married man and so called professional. The standard is really low for Nigerian men sha. And na them dey use their hand bring am down. How else do you explain their posts here?

Make she just hold am like that. Imagine her joining him and they have issues. People would say it is because he has brought her to the UK. Ignoring the real issue.

DMerciful:
In Nigeria, a man can decide to marry more than one wife and society accepts it because its cultural and biblical. Women do not have such liberties so arguing reality is not a way to push gender supremacy. Men are men, women are women...not same!

At least you admit that this "sense" of yours only holds among Nigerian men who think as you do.

So, in your matured mind, you believe any man without erectile dysfunction/ or for religious celibacy is capable of staying away from sex for over 12months?!
Even Nigerian women are no longer capable of that feat.
If you find yourself in a long distance relationship or marriage you better learn patience and letting go o.
Otherwise end the marriage or abandon everything you are doing now to be with your husband ASAP! Na wetin you leave unattended na hin goat dey carry o!

Jeon:


Wow just wow!

What happened to for better for worse! And why abusing God's vows in union if you knew that you can't stay faithful?



You Men really amaze me..
Then she can't stay celibate over here. She belongs to the man eventually




Stop saying nonsense and flee from extramarital affairs

Can you vouch for her that no man is fuccking her since 2021 that her hubby left? She is even serving..lol..and we all know how married women do in NYSC talk less of the one whose hubby is in another country.

Salewabeau:


This has caused some issues between us as I wasn't really satisfied with this excuse. I'm tired of constantly thinking my husband is cheating on me.

I love my husband and he's the only man I've ever known.

It's a pity that this is happening to you. I'm a bit pessimistic when it comes to marriage/committed unions...simply because, realistically speaking, I don't expect a woman to NEVER have sexual relations with anyone else but me when we tie the knot. To me, it just looks like wishful thinking that I'd marry a 25 year old and she will not have sex with any other man till she's 40, 50, 60...and dies.

I always feel that a lot of things happen/have happened under the hood for any relationship/marriage that lasted for donkey years...

I don't know about you...but my deal breaker in a union is DISRESPECT. No be say if my woman cheat on me, e no go pain me...but sincerely, I don't expect too much in that department.

In your case, what you should do really depends on you. If you were my sister, I will go the nihilistic route and advise you to mentally disconnect from the relationship, continue with your plans to migrate...when you're settled in, depending on the atmosphere of your relationship, you can boot him out of your life or decide to remain with him...

And oh, get yourself on a dating site too while you're at it. You also need to 'socialize'...

Igiaruwe04:


Women don't feel loneliness. And they're comfortable not having sex for donkey years. Men are not wired like that

You must be very naive. Continue to reason this way until your woman starts collecting just after a month away from you.

You must be leaving in a cave

Man must be man & body
no be firewood...


Important thing be say, the
preeek no go finish.☺️☺️☺️


Just finish service go join am,
shikena..✌️�✌️

Otilor.

Salewabeau:
I hope I get the right � reasons here than other channel here since this is the dating thread

My husband and I got married in 2021. He got a job in the UK middle of last year as a skilled worker. He was into tech before he left. Since then I've been the only one in the motherland while he consistently sent something home to cater for myself and rent. Plans are underway to join him as soon as I'm done with NYSC.

Last week, one of my friends in the UK hinted me about something that keeps giving me sleepless nights and terrible unrest. She's a student there and we went to secondary school together. She happened to see my hubby on a dating website. She sent me screenshot of his profile and my husband pictures are all there. Everything. She's on the dating app too.

I confronted my husband after several investigation of the geniuty of what I know. He only yield in after I sent him all evidence that I have. Now he tells me dating app is a norm in the UK and everyone is there. He said he's only there to socialize and meet people, especially Nigerian, but not for dating.

This has caused some issues between us as I wasn't really satisfied with this excuse. I'm tired of constantly thinking my husband is cheating on me.

I love my husband and he's the only man I've ever known.

Men!!. Very confused gender. Most don't even know what they want. See, my sister, don't allow the devil to use you . That man want you to mess up and frustrate him so he can find excuse to dump your sorry ass and continue his wayward life abroad. Tell him how you truly feel about him and don't fight it. Stay awake at night and pray for him.

How u take know

Loving your husband and being the only man you have ever known wouldn't preventing him from seeing other women. You have two real options:

1.) Focus on getting everything that you think he should give you as a husband and a father to your children.
2.) Separate from him (or divorce him)

You will damage your mental health worrying about what he is doing or not doing, or what he has done or hasn't done.

He has freewill, once you understand that, it becomes less painful to deal with the issue.

Salewabeau:
I hope I get the right � reasons here than other channel here since this is the dating thread

My husband and I got married in 2021. He got a job in the UK middle of last year as a skilled worker. He was into tech before he left. Since then I've been the only one in the motherland while he consistently sent something home to cater for myself and rent. Plans are underway to join him as soon as I'm done with NYSC.

Last week, one of my friends in the UK hinted me about something that keeps giving me sleepless nights and terrible unrest. She's a student there and we went to secondary school together. She happened to see my hubby on a dating website. She sent me screenshot of his profile and my husband pictures are all there. Everything. She's on the dating app too.

I confronted my husband after several investigation of the geniuty of what I know. He only yield in after I sent him all evidence that I have. Now he tells me dating app is a norm in the UK and everyone is there. He said he's only there to socialize and meet people, especially Nigerian, but not for dating.

This has caused some issues between us as I wasn't really satisfied with this excuse. I'm tired of constantly thinking my husband is cheating on me.

I love my husband and he's the only man I've ever known.

Fist off, sorry for your troubles. I know there'll be a flurry of advices you'll be getting now. I'd advise you to keep him in your prayers and commit him to God. I know cos I have seen this simple truth work wonders for families. Don't give up. Let your husband know that regardless of his misdeeds, you still love him and will keep yourself for him. See how that works. Stoop to conquer.

The man is lonely. That is the simple and plain truth. We outside get serious depression out of loneliness.
Abroad is such a cruel place that you might not even see or know your next door neighbor.
He should not have lied initially, however, please forgive him. He is there just to mingle, his real love and attention is for you and no one else.

Salewabeau:
I hope I get the right � reasons here than other channel here since this is the dating thread

My husband and I got married in 2021. He got a job in the UK middle of last year as a skilled worker. He was into tech before he left. Since then I've been the only one in the motherland while he consistently sent something home to cater for myself and rent. Plans are underway to join him as soon as I'm done with NYSC.

Last week, one of my friends in the UK hinted me about something that keeps giving me sleepless nights and terrible unrest. She's a student there and we went to secondary school together. She happened to see my hubby on a dating website. She sent me screenshot of his profile and my husband pictures are all there. Everything. She's on the dating app too.

I confronted my husband after several investigation of the geniuty of what I know. He only yield in after I sent him all evidence that I have. Now he tells me dating app is a norm in the UK and everyone is there. He said he's only there to socialize and meet people, especially Nigerian, but not for dating.

This has caused some issues between us as I wasn't really satisfied with this excuse. I'm tired of constantly thinking my husband is cheating on me.

I love my husband and he's the only man I've ever known.

I was specific to say in Nigeria. If you dont wanna marry a Nigerian man, you have over 182 countries to choose from.

Kobojunkie:
At least you admit that this "sense" of yours only holds among Nigerian men who think as you do.

Kaycee54321:
In your case, what you should do really depends on you. If you were my sister, I will go the nihilistic route and advise you to mentally disconnect from the relationship, continue with your plans to migrate...when you're settled in, depending on the atmosphere of your relationship, you can boot him out of your life or decide to remain with him...

And oh, get yourself on a dating site too while you're at it. You also need to 'socialize'...

So, would you be accepting then of a woman whose sole intention is you use you in achieving what are her private and selfish goals in life.. dumping you afterwards ofcourse?

Be strong you husband is save

DMerciful:
I was specific to say in Nigeria. If you dont wanna marry a Nigerian man, you have over 182 countries to choose from.

Again, I am not interested in digging through your obviously limited Nigerian form of sense.

Kaycee54321:


It's a pity that this is happening to you. I'm a bit pessimistic when it comes to marriage/committed unions...simply because, realistically speaking, I don't expect a woman to NEVER have sexual relations with anyone else but me when we tie the knot. To me, it just looks like wishful thinking that I'd marry a 25 year old and she will not have sex with any other man till she's 40, 50, 60...and dies.

I always feel that a lot of things happen/have happened under the hood for any relationship/marriage that lasted for donkey years...

I don't know about you...but my deal breaker in a union is DISRESPECT. No be say if my woman cheat on me, e no go pain me...but sincerely, I don't expect too much in that department.

In your case, what you should do really depends on you. If you were my sister, I will go the nihilistic route and advise you to mentally disconnect from the relationship, continue with your plans to migrate...when you're settled in, depending on the atmosphere of your relationship, you can boot him out of your life or decide to remain with him...

And oh, get yourself on a dating site too while you're at it. You also need to 'socialize'...

Chineke!!! I was on a foreign relationship page and they asked why women initiate divorce more. I said it is because men do not care about the quality of marriage. Their solution to ordinary headache is to cheat. So they remain in the marriage and keep cheating. Even if they lose their wife or divorce, they are always the fastest to remarry while most women would rather remain single and face their kids.

I wouldn’t advise her to play it cool until he takes her abroad. I am particularly scared of a divorce abroad than a divorce in Nigeria. So if she is playing it cool, she should make sure it is what she can live with for life, except the dynamics of the marriage changes. If she can’t take it, better to remain here as a home-based
wife and enjoy her life.

I hate to say, every man comes with his own skorskor. This one is cheat, the next might be faithful, but something else. Identify your dealbreaker and choose your poison wisely.

VeryWickedMan:
OP swear say you never Bleep since your husband left in 2021.

Why are people so toxic on this app, do you people really care about this woman’s mental health at all??

PapaFejiro:
The man is lonely. That is the simple and plain truth. We outside get serious depression out of loneliness.
Abroad is such a cruel place that you might not even see or know your next door neighbor.
He should not have lied initially, however, please forgive him. He is there just to mingle, his real love and attention is for you and no one else.

So the woman he left in Nigeria is not also "lonely"?

Igiaruwe04:


This one has lost her husband to Nigerian woman in the UK who are looking for husband here and there.

On a serious note, body no be firewood and it's cold now, so he needs someone to warm his bed. If you truly love him, let him enjoy before you join him

Not really,if he truly wanted sex, it's an easy thing,he could meet anyone abroad and they could third base but I think he's looking for something new like something much more than sex, he's looking for a relationship,she should break up with him at this point

Igiaruwe04:

Let's be honest. I'm a married man. You can't expect me to be in the UK one week without a woman beside me. Reality.

Facts only.

VeryWickedMan:
OP swear say you never Bleep since your husband left in 2021.

You are very wicked

Kobojunkie:
So, would you be accepting then of a woman whose sole intention is you use you in achieving what are her private and selfish goals in life.. dumping you afterwards ofcourse?

Lol. If I were the husband, then I had it coming.

Also, what one wants & what one gets are very often different. The key is to flow with the tide.

Eg. - I'd never steal another person's phone...my phone has been stolen twice.
- This OP has never been with another man. Yet her man is hawking himself on a dating app.

We get what we get Bro. Surviving is all about handling life's curve balls. Appropriately.

Igiaruwe04:


Wetin be this. Delete this thing. You want him to stay celibate over there? Advise OP to exercise patience. The man belongs to her eventually. She should not let any nonsense news disturb her marriage.

So she can also do the same thing he's doing there right?

dagano:
1. Fist off, sorry for your troubles. I know there'll be a flurry of advices you'll be getting now. I'd advise you to keep him in your prayers and commit him to God. I know cos I have seen this simple truth work wonders for families.

2. Don't give up. Let your husband know that regardless of his misdeeds, you still love him and will keep yourself for him. See how that works. Stoop to conquer.

1. Why do you folks like to drag God's name into what is foolishness?

Is God the reason why the man is cheating on her? Why is she, the victim here, to now subject herself to more inner angst by praying for him when she could instead work on her self esteem and confidence as an individual through this?

2. Let him know of his misdeeds? You mean he, as an adult is not clearly aware of this himself?

Igiaruwe04:


Women don't feel loneliness. And they're comfortable not having sex for donkey years. Men are not wired like that

No buddy,women do feel loneliness,they just don't give up sex easily,she could find a companion that she feels a romantic connection with and then things move on sexually, that's how women roll