pocohantas:


Chineke!!! I was on an foreign relationship page and they asked why women initiate divorce more. I said it is because men do not care about the quality of marriage. Their solution to ordinary headache is to cheat. So they remain in the marriage and keep cheating. Even if they lose their wife or divorce, they are always the fastest to remarry while most women would rather remain single and face their kids.

I wouldn’t advise her to play it cool until he takes her abroad. I am particularly scared of a divorce abroad than a divorce in Nigeria. So if she is playing it cool, she should make sure it is what she can live with for life, except the dynamics of the marriage changes. If she can’t take it, better to remain her as a home-based
wife and enjoy her life.

I hate to say, every man comes with his own skorskor. This one is cheat, the next might be faithful, but something else. Identify your dealbreaker and choose your poison wisely.

Lol. True talk. I think she should just know what she wants & act accordingly. If she's pro japa, she should use the man to migrate. Afterall, it's his child that'll benefit too.

Divorce abroad is a bit more structured sha. No mischievous umunna, aggressive in-laws, forcefully abducting a partner's kids, pastors telling you to keep praying and the usual jati jati...

Simply pay your child support, co-parent in peace & if you misdo, you get a restraining order...

Dshocker:


Unlike the opposite, it is not in the nature of men to go abroad and dump their wife.

To me, i think you should have nothing to worry about.

If I could do a survey in my area here bro! at least I know 15 people working to bring their spouse into Europe, not even spouse sef nah GF, We men are loyal honestly. We just they misbehave small small.

Carefully handle this situation so this doesn't create an issue in your marriage. Obviously your husband is lonely in UK, that's not a justification for his actions though. He is a mini scum. Finish ur NYSC quick go meet am.

Men are scum, you don't need any further evidence. Know this and know peace.

I am sure you wouldn't bring this here if you wanted to leave him. You are dependent on him so your chances of leaving him are slim.

Do what you want. Pray as hard as you can, especially for light and direction.

All will be well

PonziHater

Igiaruwe04:


I'm not Justifying cheating. But the lady should not allow a small issue to scatter her marriage. You know how things can get lonely abroad and you want the man to die of loneliness.

A man cheating is small issue, if it was the wife caught on dating apps? Should we call that a small issue too? It's the way you men normalize immorality amongst yourselves but cry and wail if it's a woman. What you don't know is this life is give and take. You can't go fornicating around and expect women to remain chaste and decent.

Igiaruwe04:


It's better you tell her the truth. She's naive. They've collected her husband simple. And there is no possibility of him choosing her when the man has moved on to white women over there.

Nigeria girls are boring

Nobody has collected her husband, the man dey knack while he was in Nigeria with her and he continues to knack while away in London, he will continue when she joins him. The only new thing now is that because baba is new abroad, it is easier and quicker to find knacks on online dating apps but also easier and quicker to get caught using online dating apps.

Kobojunkie:
1. From what you describe, it is.

2. Your point makes no sense since we ain't discussing celibacy or complete abstinence but Marriage and what it means to be Married to those married.

When you suspect someone is cheating on you, what exactly are you thinking about them? Celibacy was used here in the context of abstinence as far as a man is concerned regardless of their marital status because you attributed my assertion to culture and values of 'Nigerian Men'.... and here you are telling me the meaning of celibacy.

You are trying to show smartness but your shallow reasoning says otherwise.
Stay off my mentions!

no comment, jus to laugh in china

Salewabeau:
I hope I get the right � reasons here than other channel here since this is the dating thread

My husband and I got married in 2021. He got a job in the UK middle of last year as a skilled worker. He was into tech before he left. Since then I've been the only one in the motherland while he consistently sent something home to cater for myself and rent. Plans are underway to join him as soon as I'm done with NYSC.

Last week, one of my friends in the UK hinted me about something that keeps giving me sleepless nights and terrible unrest. She's a student there and we went to secondary school together. She happened to see my hubby on a dating website. She sent me screenshot of his profile and my husband pictures are all there. Everything. She's on the dating app too.

I confronted my husband after several investigation of the geniuty of what I know. He only yield in after I sent him all evidence that I have. Now he tells me dating app is a norm in the UK and everyone is there. He said he's only there to socialize and meet people, especially Nigerian, but not for dating.

This has caused some issues between us as I wasn't really satisfied with this excuse. I'm tired of constantly thinking my husband is cheating on me.

I love my husband and he's the only man I've ever known.

This is my take on this.

While I don't support cheating, I however believe it is on you to decide to either be with your man or listen to reasons to part ways with him. from my point of view I think anyone into distant relationship shld expect infidelity before it happens if it ever does...just to save yourself from unnecessary headache like the one you are having. most times we forget we are human before we begin listen to religious or moral doctrines. no matter how strong we are or appear to be or the society placed us to be, we all, both male and female, are vulnerable to our urges, whereas degree of vulnerability might be different, but it is a fact anyone going into distant relationship shld hold at the corner of their mind for every venturing into it. my conclusion is, if you have the mind to forgive him based on my view, fine . if you however dont, give ur self peace of mind and make your decision

First thing, Tell your friend to mind her business.

Second thing, Allow your husband to concentrate. The young man is out there trying to lift the family out of the unfavorable condition here in the motherland, you are here stressing him.

As long as he love you, he will always come back for you.

Dating app is not the norm in the uk . Your man is looking for the white stuff to experience Jungle fever . Put him in prayer as people like forget why they moved abroad and instead Konji becomes the main focus .

Salewabeau:
I hope I get the right � reasons here than other channel here since this is the dating thread

My husband and I got married in 2021. He got a job in the UK middle of last year as a skilled worker. He was into tech before he left. Since then I've been the only one in the motherland while he consistently sent something home to cater for myself and rent. Plans are underway to join him as soon as I'm done with NYSC.

Last week, one of my friends in the UK hinted me about something that keeps giving me sleepless nights and terrible unrest. She's a student there and we went to secondary school together. She happened to see my hubby on a dating website. She sent me screenshot of his profile and my husband pictures are all there. Everything. She's on the dating app too.

I confronted my husband after several investigation of the geniuty of what I know. He only yield in after I sent him all evidence that I have. Now he tells me dating app is a norm in the UK and everyone is there. He said he's only there to socialize and meet people, especially Nigerian, but not for dating.

This has caused some issues between us as I wasn't really satisfied with this excuse. I'm tired of constantly thinking my husband is cheating on me.

I love my husband and he's the only man I've ever known.

yinkeys:

So long he’s still paying your bills
Better don’t go lose a husband
You will become evening newspaper in the eyes of other men
Best to ignore that woman that doesn’t have husband & be patient until you get to the UK
If you like go breakup
Good luck

How will you feel if she were your own daughter?

Kobicove:
This still does not prove that he is cheating, making friends in a new place is difficult so he could be doing it to socialize

No one goes to dating sites to make friends so stop with the lies

Kaycee54321:


Lol. True talk. I think she should just know what she wants & act accordingly. If she's pro japa, she should use the man to migrate. Afterall, it's his child that'll benefit too.

Divorce abroad is a bit more structured sha. No mischievous umunna, aggressive in-laws, forcefully abducting a partner's kids, pastors telling you to keep praying and the usual jati jati...

Simply pay your child support, co-parent in peace & if you misdo, you get a restraining order...

Yes it is structured, but it is bad enough that the woman would always take the blame even when the man’s misbehaviour is obvious. Add abroad and you would be faced with “she used him to get abroad and divorced him”.

If I am at peace with him, I will migrate. If I see orange flags, I rather remain in Nigeria where I know my way around and have my support system. I would never advise anyone to use another person for papers when they know from the onset that they cannot live with that person for life. If I were her, given that he is a great provider and she hasn’t caught him red-handed, I’ll let this one slide. Weigh the variables which includes his family. Are they people that can caution their son? Does he have anyone he listens to, etc…

This nairaland Sabi mislead person eeh.....

I wonder why people still bring their marital/relationship issues here....

Them go just scatter ur thing.

You're fighting a lost cause. If you follow this path, you'll learn the hard way. Have a nice day

Kobojunkie:
Again, I am not interested in digging through your obviously limited Nigerian form of sense.

pocohantas:


I hate to say, every man comes with his own skorskor. This one is cheat, the next might be faithful, but something else. Identify your dealbreaker and choose your poison wisely.

This woman you are too wise for your age

Persephone1:
Marry a Nigerian man at your own peril.

Nigerian men do not have respect for anything! And that is the genesis of most of their problems.

No respect at all. Just free for all…

GloriousGbola:


This woman you are too wise for your age

I am 45 o, this is Dec 2022.

Which kind jealosy jealosy friend go dey screenshot your husband profile sending it to you ? That friend is your enemy. Most likely your husband bleep her and blocked her, or did not bother to pursue her, or maybe she is in but trying to get you to volunteeily divorce him so she can have him to herself. Omo use your brain ooo.

Flamemignon1:

How will you feel if she were your own daughter?

Men and women are designed by the creator differently
There’s a reason if danger confronts the family do you think the woman will be the 1st shield of the family
Men can still have a wife they take care of & still cheat just to avoid polygamy
For women once she’s sleeping with another guy she no longer respects the husband
So long he’s still taking care of my daughter’s bills & doesn’t disrespect her do you think I will tell her to abandon the marriage
That will be foolish
Don’t know why people think there’s anything like a perfect man
No wonder many white women are single mothers, someone is taking care of his wife’s bills & doesn’t disrespect her she wants to go start fire where it’s non existent. Why didn’t she look for a mechanic or someone living under bridge to marry that will be loyal.

pocohantas:


Yes it is structured, but it is bad enough that the woman would always take the blame even when the man’s misbehaviour is obvious. Add abroad and you would be faced with[b] “she used him to get abroad and divorced him”. [/b]

If I am at peace with him, I will migrate. If I see orange flags, I rather remain in Nigeria where I know my way around and have my support system. I would never advise anyone to use another person for papers when they know from the onset that they cannot live with that person for life. If I were her, given that he is a great provider and she hasn’t caught him red-handed, I’ll let this one slide. Weigh the variables which includes his family. Are they people that can caution their son? Does he have anyone he listens to, etc…

I always tell my loved ones to try hard not to give a f.uck about what people say (except their employers, clients or loved ones) about them.
You're nice to let it slide oh. Anyways, I can be a bit of an extremist, so my opinion was leaning on her repaying evil with greater evil...

I really hope she's ok las las. I dey hate am when person dey take another person niceness for granted. "Lean on me" no be "press me die."

yinkeys:

Men and women are designed by the creator differently
There’s a reason if danger confronts the family do you think the woman will be the 1st shield of the family
Men can still have a wife they take care of & still cheat just to avoid polygamy
For women once she’s sleeping with another guy she no longer respects the husband
So long he’s still taking care of my daughter’s bills & doesn’t disrespect her do you think I will tell her to abandon the marriage
That will be foolish

First and foremost,never use religion as a background to making a point and you rendered your point moot with the bolded especially when you were the one that even brought in religion to the mix. Well, good for you because I will definitely see it as disrespectful especially when he continues lying about it because he obviously doesn't know her worth

Your husband has betrayed you, if he send you money this week, reject the money, file for divorce and pack out of the house he rented in Nigeria, men are useless, you can get a better man in Lagos , Abuja or port harcourt , oil workers are everywhere looking for corpers to marry, return the car he bought for you , he’s not a reliable man, make sure you are pregnant for a Nigerian politician before you inform him, let him cry his eyes out.

Flamemignon1:

First and foremost,never use religion as a background to making a point and you rendered your point moot with the bolded especially when you were the one that even brought in religion to the mix. Well, good for you because I will definitely see it as disrespectful especially when he continues lying about it because he obviously doesn't know her worth

Ok tell her to divorce him and go look for another husband

Soulvein:
When you suspect someone is cheating on you, what exactly are you thinking about them? Celibacy was used here in the context of abstinence as far as a man is concerned regardless of their marital status. You were the first to attribute my assertion to culture and values of Nigerian MEN.... and here you are telling me the meaning of celibacy.

You are trying to show smartness but your shallow reasoning says otherwise.
Stay off my mentions!

Again, your point makes no sense since we ain't discussing celibacy or complete abstinence but Marriage and what it means to be Married to those married.

leisuretym:
Your husband has betrayed you, if he send you money this week, reject the money, file for divorce and pack out of the house he rented in Nigeria, men are useless, you can get a better man in Lagos , Abuja or port harcourt , oil workers are everywhere looking for corpers to marry, return the car he bought for you , he’s not a reliable man.

yinkeys:

Ok tell her to divorce him and go look for another husband

Why must she divorce him? She can also find herself a concubine or sidedick.

Salewabeau:
I hope I get the right � reasons here than other channel here since this is the dating thread

My husband and I got married in 2021. He got a job in the UK middle of last year as a skilled worker. He was into tech before he left. Since then I've been the only one in the motherland while he consistently sent something home to cater for myself and rent. Plans are underway to join him as soon as I'm done with NYSC.

Last week, one of my friends in the UK hinted me about something that keeps giving me sleepless nights and terrible unrest. She's a student there and we went to secondary school together. She happened to see my hubby on a dating website. She sent me screenshot of his profile and my husband pictures are all there. Everything. She's on the dating app too.

I confronted my husband after several investigation of the geniuty of what I know. He only yield in after I sent him all evidence that I have. Now he tells me dating app is a norm in the UK and everyone is there. He said he's only there to socialize and meet people, especially Nigerian, but not for dating.

This has caused some issues between us as I wasn't really satisfied with this excuse. I'm tired of constantly thinking my husband is cheating on me.

I love my husband and he's the only man I've ever known.

I am a man,dating app isn't for socialization but dating, am glad he cave inn to your demand on wanting to be sure he registered on the site by himself, so am not quick to say his pictures were used without his consent

He is looking for friends with benefits, thats common in western world because not everyone is confident enough to tell you in your face they like you but online shit is easier.

Tell him that internet world is a small place and he should stay away from such if he wants his family not to scatter.
Take is easy and stop eavesdropping on everything, your family is too young to bug yourself down with what your man is doing in far away land,if not it won't be long before your blood pressure starts going up.

I have alot to comment but not in the mood this morning I have my own headache.

Persephone1:
Marry a Nigerian man at your own peril.

Nigerian men do not have respect for anything! And that is the genesis of most of their problems.

This happens because most Nigerian men were either molested by an adult female as their 1st sexual experience or had transactional/prostitutional sex as their first real sexual intimate encounter, they are not in control during these times and most often time have to go through this multiple times to be able to know how to perform. It becomes an addiction to either a childhood or ongoing emotional trauma. A new woman or body surrendering her self sexual makes them feel more whole or adequate(they are chasing sexual high and control which men can only get the more older and financially stable they get). If more Nigerian men had their 1st intimate sexual encounters in a loving and honest relationship with a woman or lady, the lesser the number of married cheats when they grow up.

yinkeys:

Wetin I do?