Migines:

What should you give a man who has everything?

A woman to show him how to work it.

I love that one

Migines:

man i,ve been around o but bizzy. work load is preventing me from dropping in as often as i use to but been great!
so did i till I realized i was way more than just a genius.
hwdy girl?
ur posts a'int going up any faster than mine wats up u dont visit often as well?

Mahn, I got things going for me outside here so i step in to catch some fun when free. . plus connectivity problem and one jara has been added, i lost my privilege of posting with my real id.

u aint doing badly at all. . keep ur flag flying high bro.

tnks dear

busybody

how does that affect ur sleep?

If u know what busybody really is, then u'd know the effect it has on everyone. .busybody.

the effect i presume is mind blowing. do give urself a break b4 u leave ur house naked.

clemcykul:

tnks dear

damn girl! over 20,000 posts you's da real deal. but wats the rumour bout'tu leaving NL never really got to read the postg well cuz the picture didnt load. but girl, a knw you gat to stay. . . . . . innit?

sexyLeamon:

I love that one

anything dat hits back at dem brovaz ryte?

lysaa2:

Mahn, I got things going for me outside here so i step in to catch some fun when free. . plus connectivity problem and one jara has been added, i lost my privilege of posting with my real id.

u aint doing badly at all. . keep ur flag flying high bro.

thanks lysaa. . .

An English professor wrote the words,
"woman without her man is a savage"
on the blackboard and directed his
students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote:
"Woman, without her man, is a savage."

The women wrote:
"Woman: Without her, man is a savage."

What did the blonde do when she went to the
movies and saw the "NC-17 (under 17 not
admitted)" sign.

she went home and got 16 friends.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as
long as you live.

W.C. Fields

Jesus loves you!
(everyone else thinks you're a jerk!)

Graffiti Wisdom


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You can learn a lot from reading the graffiti in a bathroom, library or other public area,

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
* Women's rest room, Murphy's, Champaign, Ill.

If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington.
* Men's rest room, Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Wash.

Beauty is only a light switch away.
* Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, N.C.

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.
* Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.

Remember, it's not "How high are you?", it's "Hi, how are you?"
* Rest stop off Route 81, W. VA.

God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
* The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
* The Bayou, Baton Rouge, La.

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
* Men's rest room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, N.C.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
* Written in the dust on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg, Ariz.

A woman's rule of thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
* Women's rest room, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Tex.

Watch out for gay limbo dancers.
* Inside toilet stall door, men's rest room?

Express Lane: Five beers or less.
* Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's,
Phoenix, Ariz.

You're too good for him.
* Sign over mirror in women's rest room, Ed
Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

No wonder you always go home alone.
* Sign over mirror in men's rest room, Ed Debevic's,
Beverly Hills, CA

What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
* Men's rest room, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men
* Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Stupid Questions


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As far as stupid questions go, these are the stupidest,

1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you UnCloth?

2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

3. Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
"hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?

5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?

6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a use by date?

9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?

10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

11. What do people in China call their good plates?

12. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs.

14. What do you call male ballerinas?

15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner?

17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?

18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?

21. Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

22. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

bravoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

late comer. . are u just seeing them?

yes i am, uve been blocking my view all day with that b******g head of urs

whoa! someone's tripping. i love this. .

for real i am

of course u are. . u've locked it up for too long and now its exploding. .

so what? beat it gurl and stop being a brat

leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidiz!

A man is out for his morning jog on the beach,
he's jogging along when off in the distance he
hears what sounds like a lady crying. He
follows the sound and sure enough he comes across
a woman with no arms and no legs. She's lying on
the beach crying.

"What's the matter, why are you crying?" he asks.

She says, "Well, you see kind sir, I have no arms
and no legs, and nobody loves me. I've never
even been hugged before!" she says through her
sobbing.

So the kind man says "Don't worry, ma'am, I'll
hug you," as he lays down next to her and gives
her a hug. She stops crying and he gets up to
finish his jog.

Next day, same man is jogging down the beach
again, and off in the distance he hears the same
crying sound coming from afar. So he jogs on
over to locate the sobbing sounds, and sure
enough it's the same woman with no arms and no
legs.

"What's the matter now, " he asks. "Yesterday
you said you were crying because you have never
been hugged, and I hugged you. So why are you
still crying?"

"Well, " she says, " You see, because of my
condition I've never been kissed before either."

The man bends down and plants one square on her
lips and they kiss. He gets back up to continue
his jog and leaves the woman with a smile on her
face.

Two days later, the same man is jogging on the
beach again, and sure enough he hears the same
crying sound off in the distance. "This is
getting ridiculous," he says to himself as he
tries to find her once again.

When he locates the woman, he asks her yet again
why she's crying. He reiminds her that he hugged
her as she asked, and also kissed her as she
wanted. "So what's the matter now?", he asks.

"Well you see kind sir," she says, "Not only have
I never been hugged or kissed before, because of
my condition I've never been bleeped before
either!"

The man bends over and scoops up this woman with
no arms and no legs, and brings her towards the
water's edge, and throws her in the water.

"Now you're bleeped!"

A guy receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl
from his company. Unfortunately, when he arrives
at the stadium, he realizes the seat is in the
upper corner of the stadium; he's closer to the
Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway
through the first quarter he sees through his
binoculars an empty seat 10 rows off the field,
right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a
chance and makes his way through the stadium and
around the security guards to the empty seat.

As he sits down he ask the gentleman sitting next
to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The
man says no. Now, very excited to be in such a
great seat for the game, he again inquires of the
man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their
right mind would have a seat like this at the
Super Bowl and not use it?!"

The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat
belongs to me. I was suppose to come with my wife,
but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl
we haven't been together at, since we got married.

Well, "Thats really sad, but still, you couldn't
find anyone to take the seat? A friend or close
relative?'

"No," the man replies, "They're all at the
funeral."

clemcykul:

so what? beat it gurl and stop being a brat

nope, its ur problem, deal with it!

Three gay athletes, a baseball player, a
basketball player, and a football player were
sitting together in a hot tub discussing their
professions and everything they liked about the
sport that they play. The football player said,
"I just love football because I get hit and rub
up against all those big sweaty guy's and it just
turns me on. That’s what I like about football."

The gay basketball player said, " Oh, that's the
same thing with me, I just love all those big
sweaty guy's rubbing up against me too, that's
what I like about basketball."

The gay baseball player said, " Well I like it
when I'm in a game and it's the 9th inning,
there's 2 out's, the score is tied, and I'm up to
bat and the pitcher has a full count on me and
winds up and throws his best fast-ball at me and
I hit it hard and the crowd yells GOOOO! GOOOO!,
and I'm rounding 1st,the crowd yells GOOOO!
GOOOO!, and I'm rounding 2nd, the crowd yells
GOOOO! GOOOO!, and I'm rounding 3rd, the crowd
yells GOOOO! GOOOO!, but the 3rd base coach says
NO! NO!, but I go anyway all the way to home and
slide head first, and when the dust clears the
umpire yells "YOUR OUT!" Then the crowd yells,
"COCKSUCKERRRRR!" Then he says to his friends,
"It's that recognition that I like."

If it's green and moving, it's biology
If it's smoky and stinks, it's chemistry
If it doesn't work no matter what, it's physics.

yup. . how are u?

am fyn,u?

fine

ehen so how ya ma n pa?