That's her desires. It's really a good thing but she should take it easy on her husband

Jayzx:

What if the business fail

And building a house can't go the other way round? When I suggested 20% per annum, I was talking about bonds or similar assets. You can get up to 15% in today's market in government secutires which can't fail.

If you go into any form of investment with the mindset that it can fail, then business ain't for you.

Have you resolved your issues with your bf?

Maybe your issues with him stems frkm disrespecting him

Karen2024:
She's a foolish lady! All these for a Nigerian man? Useless gender.

Good advice from your fiancee, but the execution is where I have an issue with.

Firstly, If you'll build a house, then build it when you can afford it. On your own timeline, not on someone else timeline.

Secondly, If she can afford to build the house, clap for her and support her. If both of you will build it together, then make the contributions equal or close to equal.

Than for my wife to add 250k to my building project, I'll just build it alone. But that's just me sha. Just in case marriage go south, division will be equal.

LewisHamilton15:
Last week I proposed to my long time girlfriend and fiancee and she accepted me.

We discussed a whole range of topics and we are convenienced that we can live our lives together. But one thing we disagree on is the issue of house: she said we must build a house together before settling down but I suggested we tie the knot and live in a rented apartment before planning to build our personal house but she insisted we must build.

She said we will contribute money to build together, she won't leave me alone in the project. She even suggested withdrawing her savings of #250, 000 so we can buy land. I have the money and apart from my daily hustle I have other side businesses that springs me money occasionally.

I want to settle down as soon as possible but she cited the problems that comes along with living in a rented apartment. I really wish to settle down but this lady won't agree.

I don't want to cause problem between us so how do I go about convincing her?

You're looking for a way to convince her... why aren't you equally looking for how to work with her plan?

As for me I go say make only you build the house make she keep her Money to do other things this life big o

LewisHamilton15:


I want to settle down as soon as possible but she cited the problems that comes along with living in a rented apartment. I really wish to settle down but this lady won't agree.

Don't be in a hurry to get married.

As long as she is contributing no problem

Build it alone with your resources and in your name. Wise and experienced men will tell you why I offer you this advice.

LewisHamilton15:
Last week I proposed to my long time girlfriend and fiancee and she accepted me.

We discussed a whole range of topics and we are convenienced that we can live our lives together. But one thing we disagree on is the issue of house: she said we must build a house together before settling down but I suggested we tie the knot and live in a rented apartment before planning to build our personal house but she insisted we must build.

She said we will contribute money to build together, she won't leave me alone in the project. She even suggested withdrawing her savings of #250, 000 so we can buy land. I have the money and apart from my daily hustle I have other side businesses that springs me money occasionally.

I want to settle down as soon as possible but she cited the problems that comes along with living in a rented apartment. I really wish to settle down but this lady won't agree.

I don't want to cause problem between us so how do I go about convincing her?

If you have the Money Build your house, nothing spoil,But like I said build your house with your money if you have the money.

Nataliace:
If I were you I would build first.
It's hard to find reasonable women like this nowadays.

Lol. Build? So until the house is built and completed that is when OP will get married? So, if the house takes 3 years to complete, OP will wait for 3 years before marriage. If OP starts now and can't complete the House for whatever reason, OP will never get married?

The way some of una dey think for this nairaland.

LewisHamilton15:
Last week I proposed to my long time girlfriend and fiancee and she accepted me.

We discussed a whole range of topics and we are convenienced that we can live our lives together. But one thing we disagree on is the issue of house: she said we must build a house together before settling down but I suggested we tie the knot and live in a rented apartment before planning to build our personal house but she insisted we must build.

She said we will contribute money to build together, she won't leave me alone in the project. She even suggested withdrawing her savings of #250, 000 so we can buy land. I have the money and apart from my daily hustle I have other side businesses that springs me money occasionally.

I want to settle down as soon as possible but she cited the problems that comes along with living in a rented apartment. I really wish to settle down but this lady won't agree.

I don't want to cause problem between us so how do I go about convincing her?

You want to marry somebody that is already giving you conditions before marriage...!! Seems like she's still the hot cake, probably in her early 20's!!

In as much as building a house is a good advice and project (kudos to her), but building under duress is a no no, because housing project are demanding and if care is not taken, you could exhaust your funds halfway into the project, going forward not possible and going backward not possible...!!

You just have to convince her to settle in a rented apartment while you carry out a feasibility studies on the area and location you want to build your house, get the master plan of the environment and build your dream house gradually...

Most importantly, get to know the reasons why she doesn't want a rented house, If Landlord issue is her problem, then rent a house where the landlord doesn't live there...

If Tenants issue is her problem, you can easily rent a house where OYO is your portion...

In all you do, settle down and build a house you will be proud of, and not the one where you will be rushing the engineer to finish up something of 1year under 3months just because you want to settle down...

Trust me, if you can't convince your wife to be of anything before marriage, you definitely cannot convince her of anything after marriage...!!

LewisHamilton15:
Last week I proposed to my long time girlfriend and fiancee and she accepted me.

We discussed a whole range of topics and we are convenienced that we can live our lives together. But one thing we disagree on is the issue of house: she said we must build a house together before settling down but I suggested we tie the knot and live in a rented apartment before planning to build our personal house but she insisted we must build.

She said we will contribute money to build together, she won't leave me alone in the project. She even suggested withdrawing her savings of #250, 000 so we can buy land. I have the money and apart from my daily hustle I have other side businesses that springs me money occasionally.

I want to settle down as soon as possible but she cited the problems that comes along with living in a rented apartment. I really wish to settle down but this lady won't agree.

I don't want to cause problem between us so how do I go about convincing her?

God sent lady.
But this isn't for here for you to be asking us but for you to do diligent consultation on how to execute the plan.
And draw plans with her in achieving this goal.

LewisHamilton15:
Last week I proposed to my long time girlfriend and fiancee and she accepted me.

We discussed a whole range of topics and we are convenienced that we can live our lives together. But one thing we disagree on is the issue of house: she said we must build a house together before settling down but I suggested we tie the knot and live in a rented apartment before planning to build our personal house but she insisted we must build.

She said we will contribute money to build together, she won't leave me alone in the project. She even suggested withdrawing her savings of #250, 000 so we can buy land. I have the money and apart from my daily hustle I have other side businesses that springs me money occasionally.

I want to settle down as soon as possible but she cited the problems that comes along with living in a rented apartment. I really wish to settle down but this lady won't agree.

I don't want to cause problem between us so how do I go about convincing her?

I would have preferred that you the man have built your house before getting married.

A dwelling and not necessarily a mansion in a GRA.

hmmmmmmmmmm

Scrupulous419:


Leave that mumu wen dey talk on a circle, owning a house of your own should comes first.

Investment fit get k-leg.

Atleast ur shelter go help u gather family well

Samantha124:
Sorry..😐😐

Okay no problem.As long as you remain on this forum, we are good.

Cool..😊😊😊

Solofresh2:
Okay no problem.As long as you remain on this forum, we are good.

After marriage, she go kill you,carry house go with the format that she contributed.. And na only 250k o.. Very wise and yahoolic lady

Greattestman:
Run if you are wise... she's there to covet your money. She will deceive and when you begin the project she will leave you alone in it saying she has no money. And after you build the house, she will bring her ex to your matrimonial bed.
Be wise!!!

What if she's a virg......

LewisHamilton15:
Last week I proposed to my long time girlfriend and fiancee and she accepted me.

We discussed a whole range of topics and we are convenienced that we can live our lives together. But one thing we disagree on is the issue of house: she said we must build a house together before settling down but I suggested we tie the knot and live in a rented apartment before planning to build our personal house but she insisted we must build.

She said we will contribute money to build together, she won't leave me alone in the project. She even suggested withdrawing her savings of #250, 000 so we can buy land. I have the money and apart from my daily hustle I have other side businesses that springs me money occasionally.

I want to settle down as soon as possible but she cited the problems that comes along with living in a rented apartment. I really wish to settle down but this lady won't agree.

I don't want to cause problem between us so how do I go about convincing her?

Develop your business before you build a home. Proverbs said this. This connotes that if you develop your business first, building a house won't be a problem. She wants the best for you.

[quote author=Nataliace post=125741289]If I were you I would build first. It's hard to find reasonable women like this nowadays.[if you are inline reader, you would discover that OP is not capable to build a house currently. besides, most of you think house project is a day job.]

Nataliace:
If I were you I would build first.
It's hard to find reasonable women like this nowadays.

op follow this advice [color=#006600][/color]

Ia what i will do we both agree we marry n can be building house bit by bit house projects is not a small thing o or are you guys building hut my advice marry u build house later but if she insists maybe you can go seperate ways don't give your self unnecessary pressure

mbeast:
This whole thing is funny. You sure the guy isn't the one forcing himself on the babe?
like seriously i get it that couples may talk about their plans in their marriage how they would build businesses and bla bla togeda which isnt bad.
However, making it a condition that i must fulfil before i will marry you( which in this case isn't a chicken change condition that one will just open his wallet and pay for)

she has said it in her mind and maybe discussed with her friends that she won't marry until/unless her man is a house owner. To me dats a red flag. 2mao that same lady will say she can't stay in that house cos it doesn't befit her.

Of course the OP said her babe isn't like dat( i laff) just like when someone told u ur babe is/was sleeping with one guy she calls her frnd but you beat ur chest and say naah, not my babe, they r just frnds. until e clear for your eye.

Don't let emotions/luv cloud you sense of logical reasoning.

You have spoken wisely... To me, I'm picturing the lady as someone that wants to live in her fairytales... You know those kind of ladies that have already picture themselves not settling for a man that doesn't own a car or a house at least to start with

The OP just needs to be careful and thread with caution especially when dealing with a woman that is putting you on a condition before settling down with you

Even couples that are already married do not rush into building house because there are still some things in place before considering building a house

Some of you just say anything that comes into your head.
If anyone should be wary in this situation, it’s the girl. Married Nigerian women who contributed to their family wealth aren’t even assured of an even split in the case of a divorce much less a girlfriend/fiancé.

Who’s to say he won’t discard her after they’ve completed the house? And if that happens in what scenario in Nigeria do you see her getting a fair share of the proceeds of that house? When she has no legal connection to him and they are not business partners?

Just open mouth talk senselessly.

In fact that girl herself has some growing up to do so I don’t blame y’all for unleashing your ill thought out responses on her.

Geniemoi01:
I am sorry sir,but you'll be an idiot to follow the words of a woman. She doesn't mean you well at all! If you wanna build do so with your money from start to finish. She wants to contribute chicken change while planning her escape route with the house should you both divorce. She's already eyeing your future property. You better be wise. If she doesn't want to rent with you, let her go.

BItt:
WHATEVER YOU DO, MAKE SURE THE RECEIPT IS IN YOUR NAME ALONE.

Gbam!!

Play along and act like you are broke and build your own house in silent. Collect the 250k buy land and help her with the little you have that's her own house.
Love my babe but i don't disclose everything to her may be things will change once will get marry sha but for now i don't trust the gender in 100%

LewisHamilton15:
Last week I proposed to my long time girlfriend and fiancee and she accepted me.

We discussed a whole range of topics and we are convenienced that we can live our lives together. But one thing we disagree on is the issue of house: she said we must build a house together before settling down but I suggested we tie the knot and live in a rented apartment before planning to build our personal house but she insisted we must build.

She said we will contribute money to build together, she won't leave me alone in the project. She even suggested withdrawing her savings of #250, 000 so we can buy land. I have the money and apart from my daily hustle I have other side businesses that springs me money occasionally.

I want to settle down as soon as possible but she cited the problems that comes along with living in a rented apartment. I really wish to settle down but this lady won't agree.

I don't want to cause problem between us so how do I go about convincing her?

I am still wondering if the 250k is for half plot or full plot

If the 250k if for foundation or omonile settlement

If that same amount is for family receipt or Deed of agreement

Now are we talking about cement that a bag is 5200

Or a block that is 300 for 6" block and 9" block

House is not something you will just wake up one morning and start doing foundation without proper planning

I think both of you should go and search for a land in your choice area, know the cost and how their Omonile operate their charges

Set out plans for how many blocks, sand, cement and granite that you need

Then add the cost of labour

As for architecture, you can sketch what you want and give to an architect to turn it into drawing

When you find the cost of all these with her

Then ask her again wgat she wants

House or wedding

Maybe by then she will give you an answer that will make sense

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I hope she isn't a disguised feminist.

I hope she is not thinking of divorce before wedding, hoping to have a stake on a house so you don't send her out easily.

I hope she has not done something that makes her feel you can send her out later.

I hope you have never given her reason to feel insecure.

The best thing ever is to build gradually together. Getting your own house before wedding is not a must. How many hustling couples have you seen do that?

Start small, build together, grow together, she should earn her place with you.

Don't be set up

If u put 200k per month on a project... You will be putting 2.4 a year... To build a 3bedroom will take you 15m to 35m depending on structure, style and taste.. Do the division and decide

Wodu89:
She's childish. She wants a house with 250k contribution. Is it a batcher she wants to live in. Smh in Chinese. You both first need to plan how to have four years rentage first and see if you can afford to live as a couple before building castles in the air.

Women and their fish net trap, the more you look the less you see