Winnie1950: i dey come with my sexy pink bikini but if i see any funny looking shape like carrot or cucumber for ur trouser i go shoot am. *evil grin*

na pencil u go see 4 my trousers ooo, make i go buy enlarger so that u go see yam tuber or cassava

ritababe: @rock
no verse for me oh, i have not be commenting, no b my fault at least ur miss rock go understand as she be year 1 student for private too

Hehehe no problem sha, una dey try, dats y i wan finish this story b4 my own skul starts. But tha Miss rock dey my black book already. I go deal with her, Priceless love, Faith-chubby and Sexitee.

Bouncer Winnie pass me ur ganja

Pls who has seen my yet to be officially announced asst secretary? Haven't heard frm him since ysterday.

Keep rocking Rock.

FOUR BIG WAHALA
****************
"Where my food money?" Racheal asked.

"Where are you coming from?" My dad asked.

"Uduak i hope you cook ba? Our belly dey sing oo" My siblings chorused.

I stood still like i was struck by lightening, suddenly Uduak the scope master had turned to Uduak the deaf and dumb, it was as bad as that.

"Am i not talking to you" My dad shouted at me which brought me back to my senses.

"Ehm abeg Racheal go i dey come, Oya Ini come collect key, make una fetch Garri dey drink i dey come" my dismised my two little problems now it was remaining the greatest problem, i sigh and turn to face my dad.

"Daddy see as you don make me pour the food i buy for their Ini" i stupidly said.

"Does that answer my question, why where you singing happy birthday?" He asked so many questions.

"I just wanted to suprise all of you, today was mummy birthday" i quickly said.

"Uhmmm, so why did you not cook?" he said again.

"Ehmmm na Governor been dey pass so i go look am, the man trowey money ehh, na the money i use buy food sef" i gave a thunder bolt lie, my lieing facilities were being upgraded.

"Wow, he said excitedly, so how much did you manage to get" he said intrestedly.

"Mehn Daddy i get 3thousand oo, some people even get reach ten thousand" I upgraded my lies.

"Ok next time make sure you prepare food for your younger ones before doing any other thing" he advisd and allowed me go.

I was reveling in my good fortune when another gobe entered again, he called me back.

"Yesss dadddyyy" i said with a beating heart.

"How much do you say the money was again?"

"3000"i replied coldly, what if he said i should bring the money, how was i going to get that moeny that i bragged about, chai Lie no good oo.

"Have you removed your tithe?" he asked me.

"Ehhmmmm nooo" i said and gently lay my hands on my head, he would think its tiredness but truly it was because of the extra money i would pay just for a lie.

"And you know your tithe is one-tenth abi? Make sure you remove the 300 naira one side and put it in church on sunday" He instructed me and bade me farewell but atleast he did one good thing, he gave me 300 naira for the food poured on the ground.

So in my business mind i had gained N90 after converting N70 to N100, wow, atleast my transport money to Hussaini's shop was taken care of.

But now i had to waste N1500 and extra N300 that i never bargained for, Chai Residence Evil 4 na bastard, am glad Miss Terious hate zombies.

I went inside and cooked one yeye cooking for my siblings, if them no wan chop make dem go sleep na. All their complaints on my saltless food fell on deaf ears, i was calculating how to deal with Peter.

When i was through i told my father i wanted visiting a friend and skip outside before he asks of the friend's name like he knew the person.

When i went to Mama Otusha's restaraunt i still met Racheal there but she was now smiling like a plaster smiling cream on my face.

"I don bring your money ooo" I said coldly.

"I no want money again" she replied while still smiling.

"Eh, after harrasing and insulting me, now she no wan collect money again, was it another prank of hers?" I thought.

"Why you wan collect money na?" i queried.

"Because e get something wey i want make you do for me" she replied.

"Something as in how? I no get your time oo" i threatened.

"Haba Uduak, na just small thing na, oya make we enter inside first" she urged me.

"Toor i dey come, if i come in the evening i go branch here" i said and smiled at her, she smiled also.

I began running joyfully to get a bike, atleast i had extra N300 with me, things were working perfectly, what ever she had to tell me cant hurt me, i thought happily.

If only i knew how much more wahala was waiting for me that day i would have repented since...

Make una manage dis make i reach house abeg, i go continue soon.

Uduak i swear one day i go beat you regardless of ur bodyguards.
The next time u put me for this kind suspense we go fight o.
Oya come gimme my dose 4 d night asap. Btw u ar doin a great job.

Abeg where this guy naa? U know dey knw say eye dey shook sumtymz?

Nkpume Iko: Nkpume Iko is here now.

Welcome sir. Have a front seat with VIP treatment from Jumizie.

Typing....

D9ty7: Uduak i swear one day i go beat you regardless of ur bodyguards.
The next time u put me for this kind suspense we go fight o.
Oya come gimme my dose 4 d night asap. Btw u ar doin a great job.

Thanks ooo. Abeg no beat me, i dey come ur thread next

Boll2010: Abeg where this guy naa? U know dey knw say eye dey shook sumtymz?

If e dey shook make e no shook me oo

Oduwaa!! U beta come nd finish wat u started oo or else i'l sieze ur fone

[color=#990000][/color]@rock
Y u live us the hang na atleast the update twice anyway more ink to ur pencil. @rock
Y u live us the hang na atleast the update twice anyway more ink to ur pencil.

MAD MAN WAHALA
****************
"Your father..." I shouted at the first bike i saw, i said it in a twisted way that made it seem like i was saying 'Okada', if say them catch me my beatings no for get part two.

We bargained the price and then set forth, in my mind i was telling myself that i would just pay the money and then turn back to avoid further embarrasment but i knew i was lieing to myself.

When began trekking to Hussiani's show i passed a mad man who was holding a big fat stick. He is the most popular mad man in Akwanga, we call him Kiwili, he was usually dressed well but always walks around with his stick and he usually stays at the round about with seven bottles of Coke every morning.

He would line them up in a straight line then bore a hole untop each of them without taking off the cap then he would start gulping it dwn little by little while shaking his head and smacking his lips till all the bottles were cleared, he still does it till date.

I passed him and went away, i heard me shouting 'I don hammer oo, chai, i don hammar' i ook it as one of his mad antics.

When i entered the game house, the spirit of one more game came upon me, i immediately signalled Hussaini that i wanted to play again, i ended up wasting two hundred naira again. When i put my hands in my pocket to pay all the smile that was on my face erased away.

MY TROUSER POCKET HAD DEVELOPED EXTRA SPACES, IT WAS TORN

"Oya Peter where my N1700 na" Hussani shouted as he noticed my sour face.

"Ehmm i dey come oo, make i call person" i said and ran outside. One thing ran on my mind, Kiliwi don kinap my money, something he would have told me he just left me high and dry.

I ran back to the place only to see him showing my 3 five hundred naira notes to everyone.

"Who get money oo" Kiliwi shouted.

My heart melted in gladness, atleast a mad man was this considerate, i walked majestically to go and collect my money.

"Oga na my money oo" i said desperatly, a whole me was begging a mad man cus of desperation.

He made to give me the money then held it back like a little toddler then he bean talking.

"Uhn, you dey smell oo"he teased.

"How i go even know say na u get am?" he asked.

"Oga na me been dey waka wey e come fall, abeg na my money" I confessed.

"Uhnn your lie dey smell, i no believe you, oya wetin be the serial number of the money?" he asked the question that Jamb Oga would not be able to answer.

"I dont know ooo"i admitted defeat.

"Toor, na u sabi oo, better comot from my front before i break your mouth" he threatened.

I quietly walked to one corner with my eyes filled wth tears, Now i had gaind N390 but lost N1500, Karma was a real bi:tch with me.

"I be rich man oo" the mad man kept on shouting. I walked to one corner and sat down to think of the latest scope to give to Hussaini, my nose would surely bleed with one of his blows. Suddenly i noticed Kilili lieing down and nodding his head.

Soon enough he fell asleep and the most funny thing was that he stuck the N1500 into the waist band of his shorts, he would suddenly jerk uop and hold that side to see if the money was still there. That was my chance, i crept to his side and sa next to him, then shifted his big stick one side toprevent him from stoning me when i flee.

In one quick move i swept the money off his shorts and took off in the speed of light, the man chased me with all his might but you know na, i ebi master of short routes. I dogded him till he was lost and i escaped.

I heaved a sign of relief. I had escaped a death penalty on my head, uhm that day was the msot craziest of my life.

Bad things no good oo, and una think say my trouble ended, NOT AT ALL

Una good nite ooo

nice update Rock..u nd trouble na twin ni?

ritababe:

chaii see as una don put me for hotsit......abeg i nor go fit start now

this is my first year in school and i have to settle down, i even still dey look for apartment to stay and lecturer no want make we rest at all...........8 to 6 everyday plus assignment abi una want make i start am and dey update every weekend?

so wetin be ur sch name

abt the tory 4get am for now pending when u get some free tym because ur gp is more important to me

The rock555,well done bro,nice story.
*following*

One day, one trouble.

Following

Yes ooo,una well done,i can see u oga rock,nd can see dat ur ministry is moving to d camp,it is no more in d parmanent site

Yes ooo,una well done,i can see u oga rock,nd can see dat ur ministry is moving to d camp,it is no more in d parmanent site....ride on bro

I'm so following this...
Nice one bro!
Btw, you guys can like to read and comment on my new story https://www.nairaland.com/1524017/moment-atm
I'll be waiting for y'all
Thanks!

For the very first time in this month....Mehn....u re trying nigga .....More power to ur elbow

Just like MERLIN ,one episode,one problem(trouble).

*in Phyno's voice*...now am finally here...abeg se space still dey front seat?...I get 2 bowls of popcorn o!

Philcz-Me and trouble na twins oo, i still love trouble till 2morow

KingPhilip-Nsao, make she relax till she get time b4 she go say na NL make her get 10C.O

Numero uuuno-Welcome sir, grba front seat

s3nn2x-Na one hour 5 trouble

Madawaki-Welcome sir, i hope u no go run leave me like b4

Skykid-Thanks man, d minis3 is moving.

Dhourtun-Thanks for following man, i dey come check ur story soon.

Lekinz- so b4 i no dey try, hehehe, where ur bouncer Uthman

Brozules-Na so, me and Merlin our ear dey the same we no dey hear.

Goodmorning y'all. Make i type one short episode, time no dey

honorbule: *in Phyno's voice*...now am finally here...abeg se space still dey front seat?...I get 2 bowls of popcorn o!

Front seat dey oo, but first say hello to the man of the year... welcome dude

Good morning THE ROCK.
Me de here the follow you like bumber to bumber lik wandi coal.

Tell this ppl to shift make i seat the wait for the next up date

Mr Uduak aka trouble, abeg wia u get 1500 frm sotey madman steal am? I cud remember dat u didn't even av money to pay for the food with. Or is ur governor story true?

Nawa ooo......make trouble dey follow person lyk twitter

HOUSE WAHALA
*************
After escaping the mad dude i sat down some where to rest, it was a shady environment so the sun had mercy on me. I bought two pure water and gulped it down like i was doing a drinking competition. I heaved a sign of relief and began thinking of how i got to that point, all because of my strong head and love for playstation, infact i was becoming addicted and burning cash like it was irrelavant.

I strolled to Husiani's shop and peeped round the corner only to see Kiliwi standing infront of the door and hitting his stick, his eyes were bloodshot, he was wiling to track me down i wondered how he knew that it was my favourite game shop.

Now there was noway to pay the money to Husiani, i was stuck, the man would surely murder me if he catches me again, so i withdrew to one corner and waited for about 30minutes but he was still there mumuring some words and speaking to himself.

"If Husiani like make him kill me, i don get enough trouble from him shop, i dey go my papa house" i thought and walked away.

When i got home i ran to Mama Otusha shop to see how far with Racheal, she was relieved that i finally came, i went inside and sat down, all of a sudden she dropped one plate of rice for me.

" ehm i no wan chop food oo, i no get money to pay oo" i confessed.

"Dont worry just eat, na me give you" she said and went to the kitchen.

As per Man Must Wack i no send o, Kiliwi don finish my energy so i gats to chop the food before me to avoid any stories that touch. When i finished in a record time of 90seconds i stretched my legs and waited for Racheal.

"Ehh, you don finish now now" she said suprised.

"Na small thing na, oya wetin you wan talk?" i went straight to the point.

"Ehm i dey come", she replied and ran inside then came back 5minutes later with a large bag. My eyes opened wide, i was confused.

"Wetin be this one? Na bush meat" i joked.

"No, na my school bag, i be wan tell you to dey help me for science subjects, i no sabi Maths, Chemistry, Biology and Physics and i hear say you be science student so i want make you dey teach me" she said.

"Ehhh, only me four subjects, this babe think say i be Albert Einstein abi, i for go carry my result show her make she see Chemistry-D7, Physics-E8, Maths-F9, Biology na i manage C-4, chai if i show her my carreer don spoil"

"E beta make i just keep quiet teach her nonsense so that she go dey feed me more food and her respect for me go high, maybe if i get luck i go fit bleep her" my evil mind told me.

After taking a deep breath, i looked at her who was watching me all this while, she was smiling.

"Ok you know say wetin you do me that time no good ba?" i reminded her.

"Ehya sorry na,na one man wey chop food no gree pay, na him vex me, but i think i no collect money again, you go forgive me na?" i pleaded.

"Ok no Problem, i go dey teach you inside our compound every 4-5pm, how you see am"

" E good oo, thanks alot" she said beaming with smiles, she was glad that she had caught one lesson teacher.

I walked inside with a full tummy only to see my parents in the palour, i smelt trouble.

"Uduak whose birthday did you say it is today?" my dad asked.

"Ehmmm, na Mummy na" i said.

"Me, did we discus anything about Birthday?" my mother said.

"Ok na mistake, o no know na, you know say your birthday dey sweet my belly" i covered up my leaking lie.

"My friend go and sit down" my father drove me to my room, i sat down and heaved a sign of relief, i was feeling good and scanning the room with my eyes when it stopped on one empty spot.

I bolted up like i got shock and ran to the paloir, the veins on my forehead was bulging hard, i was angry.

"Who carry my bag?" i shouted.

"Na me" my kid sister said with a frightened voice.

"Where e dey?" i screamed again.

"Daddy say e don scatter finish, so him say make i go burn am with other dirty" she replied.

"Whhhhaaattt" i shouted and ran outside to where they burn dirts.

My heart was pounding and it almost stood still when i saw the bag burnt to ashes, my whole life earnings was gone, ehm sorry i mean all the money i don hustle cus i no pay my last term school fees before WAEC, as per bad guy i no send cus the result no good sef so i had no plans to go and collect it. So all the money had just been burnt away, cusi dropped all my valuables in that bag, i was so angry that i felt like backwarding time to go back again.

I laid my hands on my head and went inside, indeed that day had been a crazy long day, now my last cash remaining in my life was N1500. I went inside and went straight to bed. My day was too crazy enough to eat food, no body even came near me cus they would have recieved slap as their night meal.

Chai Uduak don suffer ooo

Make i go work ooo

uduak are u sure dat mad man is rili mad?cos he seems 2 b wisey afta blowing off ur scope.abeg update i dey go bank again 2day,yestaday d manager say money neva reach 4me 2 rob.bt say make i come 2day say e go ready,dats y i am goin 2 rob d bank nw.i go keep ur share even if they catch me o