360Prince- make una shift for my guy oo, welcome son

SexySaphire- i don explain am oo, na my school fees wey i no gree pay.

Boll2010-Lol at following like twitter.

Danpeirse-Yeah do keep my share oo, send it tru 2go that mad man is really wise oo, he rarely gets dirty sef

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just waitin and observing

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just waitin and observing

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I don shovv, @Rock abeg i need seat.

Uduak.........i dey ur like the rock

I go gym so dat I go get more abs...I want make e reach 12pack

No b every madman dey carry dirty,sm are even wiser dan sane ppl

y ur sis no check ur bag na,kids sef

Clemzy16: i hear say calabar girl dey sweet to nyansh wella, no other tribe fit try them. Na true??

Me I don't know what you know o. In MS voice "there is only one way to find out"

started Frm d bottom nap I'm here....season 1-2. thumb up man

Rock555.... no vex na etisalat wan dull me...bt m bk 4 real.......Na ur URSHER!....oya let's go there

D.Ella.luv:
No b every madman dey carry dirty,sm are even wiser dan sane ppl

y ur sis no check ur bag na,kids sef

if i hear say she no check am na rock de too proud to ask

[color=#770077][/colo]
lol all ur money don go be dat. Why u no tell ur popc nw

The rock5555:

Hehehe no problem sha, una dey try, dats y i wan finish this story b4 my own skul starts. But tha Miss rock dey my black book already. I go deal with her, Priceless love, Faith-chubby and Sexitee.

Bouncer Winnie pass me ur ganja

Pls U don't ve 2 deal wit me,am begging u o.
am sorry 4 nt bn available,gt a lot of issues 2 iron out bt am bk nw.nice write up,keep it rolling in...

I go swear 4 dis dis ROCK 555.......u wan kill person wit suspence ni?....Zain chi buro uban ka fa!!!

Waoh, i have miss alot.
Let me start reading,

ride on my dear

Wallahi uduak i don vex o. @lekinz: go check my profile and u will see my abs. Heheheheheheheheheheheehheheehehehehehehehehehehe

HOME ALONE
***********
Mehn house no sweet jare, i thought i was just fun all through but it was more complicated than i thought. I had given Husiani back his money but not after we had an argument, he thought i stole Kiliwi's money, maybe he heard or saw my drama with the mad man, i promised him not to come to his shop again.

Now i was sitting bankrupt, all my little cash had gone down the drain and one thing i hate in this life is lacking money(i wonder how my body go do me when i become student cus me and managing no be friends). My sister had burnt my last cash, i had to borrow money from my mother to pay tithe i did not eat.

Since i was home alone i had to sweep the house, wash, and cook then coupled with Aunty Charity's disturbance and Mama Otusha bringing her daughter to the house, it was so depressing.

I sat down to reminiscense about my Makurdi life, then girls gave me money in bulk, i was feeling good and wealthy but now make i catch myself ask my papa for money, i would explain all what i want it for.

Then an idea banged into my head...GO SEARCH PEOPLE ROOMS.

I love the idea like mad, most of our neigbours drop their keys with me before going out to avoid stories that touch. And there i was dulling myself. I knew it was not right so i never dared entering any of their rooms but as its said, an Idle Mind is the Devil's workshop, the temptation increased till i could hold it no more.

I grabbed the lecturer key and ran to his room when Aunty Charity went out one day, i stood at the door for long before i summoned courage and opened it. I had just finished reading a novel where Bobby traps were set for unsuspecting visitors so i quickly poke my head in and out, nothing happened, i used Jet Li move and dived into the room, gun no shoot me.

"Chai i be mumu oo" i commented and looked round the room, it was a single room apartment so it was not hard to search, i looked at his Cds collection and picked two correct action films then quickly locked the door and sprinted to my house rejoicing. My mission was succesful.

That day was sweet, i became addicted to that behaivour, when ever Aunty Charity went out i would grab any of the keys i want and go in search for movies.

Baby Otusha was also cooperating, she would keep shut like she enjoyed the film also, i pampered her alot, since na my wife, how man go do.

"Oduwaaa" Aunty Charity shouted my name, i was feeling irritated cus she refused going out that day and time was fast spent, my siblings would still be home and they would love to watch cartoons.

"Maaa" i screamed and ran to her room.

She wanted me to rub cream on her back again, i was glad that she was atleast going out so i would have free chance to go movie hunting.

"Shebe you be big boy abi?"

"Wetin my big boyness come do you again?" i fired her back.

"Oya siddon make i wire you for Ludo" she said happily and brought on the Ludo board, she bought a new one, the news would have been sweeting my belly if it was before but now it was bad news cus i was more interested in watching films than playing but how my big boyness and Ludo were related bafulled me.

"Aunty i no dey play, i wan cook" i replied.

"ODUWA, you den vex with me because i no dey call you to play ludo again?" she asked me.

"No be like that but i wan cook now, you know say na me be Cook of the house" i replied.

"Yeah Uduak you cook? If no be all those burnt food and water soup, abeg siddon jare, time still dey, you go cook before your people come back, make we just play two rounds" she pleaded.

"Aunty, them go quarrel me oo" i replied and made to go when she quickly shut the door with her leg and dragged my elastic trouser, i had to stay put before she pull am to see wetin pass her power

"Aunty leave me na..." i pleaded but she wanted only one game since two was too much for me, i agreed and settled down. That moment her phone rang, when she answered her face change to red, she sprang up and ran into the room, coming out a minute later already dressed(a behaivour alien to ladies).

"Aunty wetin happen na?" i asked even though i was rejoicing in my heart that i was gonna be alone.

"My mother dey hospital, oya comot, i wan travel" she said and removed her sim from her C3 nokia then placed it inside one apkaco Nokia 3310 phone, she no want thief to hijack her precious phone.

As soon as i waved her goodbye i ran happily inside and got the Lecturer's room key and went inside to search for films, all the ones i saw there were already old to me so i expand my search to his bag, there i found a dvd x-rated movie collection, i grinned happily and took it.

Then i jumped outside only to face the red eyes of the lecturer, he had came home early and i was caught red handed, his eyes went to the film i was holding.

Na this moment Naija film go do Gan Gan, thief don meet owner of house, i was doomed.

To Be Continued....

Winnie1950: Wallahi uduak i don vex o. @lekinz: go check my profile and u will see my abs. Heheheheheheheheheheheehheheehehehehehehehehehehe

Winnie u no fit kill me with laf,D so u go even write bouncer winnie for d pix, i been dey think say u go pose with AK99

abeg no vex with me oo, u be sexy bouncer sha

U don jam

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gannn gannn gannnnnnnn

Uduak(Trouble) in trouble. But i still dey wonder why person go decide early in life to always be in trouble.
I swear u nid deliverance 4rm ur papa 2 bind all troublesome spirits in you.
None of ur children must take afta you.
Btw nice story.

Oga Money Soldier-abeg come siddon near me, u na VVIp; ALREADY

Uthman-make the 12pack big like winnie own oo

D.Ella.Luv-na so, some mad men get sense wella, my sister nai finish me, i tire oo.

Fonydear-no mind that boy

Pappikay-welcome sire, u 2much

Buoye-u beta dont try rubbish again oo, u come make me de do ur work, oya show my big bosses their various seats.

Kingphilip-how i go do na, pride na my weakness

Ebukav-make my popc come ask me different jamb questions, mehn i no fit talk

Faith chubby-toor no p, u are welcome miss

Miss Rock-welcome babe, i missed u

I don jam wahala oo, sorry for the inconsitiences today, work wan kill me and my ba3 dey low.

Sai gobe , i mean goodnite

Na real ghen ghen... Uduak i bin try call you today ur number no go

U go fear suspense nah. Ghen Ghen, hope sa¥ slap go de¥?

I swear wahala na ur twins brother Mr.rock........MS baba I sight you!!

@uduak no worry I knw say na ur twin broher(+roubl€) dey cux u all dis

@winnie I dey feel ur abs but e no strong well come my houz make I add more for u
JUMIZIE DEY FIND HER TEDDy bear oo

U go explain to the man.

Winnie1950: Wallahi uduak i don vex o. @lekinz: go check my profile and u will see my abs. Heheheheheheheheheheheehheheehehehehehehehehehehe

So this is the flat abs u ve been referring to ....##disappointed##......If I had known its dis flat ...I would have change ur post ...bt anyway I think I still have abs expansion at home....****searching***where is dis thing now****Thank God...ave seen it***U can come to my hauz nd have it

U don enter one chance!!! O'boy see Gobe.... The rock i dey feel you ooo, regards to mrs rock and the three bouncers and all fans.
#TeamUduak

You don enter one chance. I can only imagine what I would have done to you if I was the lecturer.

Kai!!!

The rock5555:

Front seat dey oo, but first say hello to the man of the year... welcome dude

Salute to the Main Man of the year....tank u for front roll seat...

Clemzy16: Uduak i bin try call you today ur number no go

u sure say him neva kpia

MR LECTURER
***********
"You are Uduak abi?"The Lecturer said coolly, i was expecting him to shout and land me a refreshing slap like Money Soldier said but he was calm, my mind told me to lie which i did.

"Sir noo, na me be Ini" i replied incase he wants to come report to my dad he would call the wrong name.

"So Ini what are you doing from my room" he asked calmly again, i blamed the person that collects all our blame in this world.

"Sir na devil cause am(Of cus if no be him, who go fit cause am )" i replied while still expecting a slap but his reactions shocked me.

"So you are a bad guy, you want to watch this kind of films eh" he joked to my releif, i managed a fake smile and looked at him.

"Toor go watch am fast then bring it back, but abeg help me with one bucket of water, my own don finish" he finally said and went inside.

I could not belive my good luck, i quickly dashed to our drum and fetch him four solid buckets incase he wants to go back on his words. I was beaming happily.

This lecturer was a good womaniser, he almost made me change my decision to be a lecturer cus the number of girls coming to his house on daily basis was three much, they would bring food for him, wash his clothes and fetch him water not to talk of the night sex, all because of high marks and cancelation of C.Os. But the lecturer had a syndrome which i called talking syndrome, whenever he is alone he would just start talking like he was arguing with someone, sometimes doing hand gestures, we usually watch him silently when he starts it.

To watch the film again was impossible, fear had killed my appetite i just waited about 30minutes and then took it back to his house. A fresh fair babe was lieing on his unclad chest. I swallowed saliva at the sight of the beauty, Lecturer things on my mind. That was the tenth girl i was seeing in 4days. Lecturers dey try ooooo. He never reported me sha.

"Uduak you don watch am finish jus now?" he asked me.

"Sir i don finish oo, e sweet sef" i sugar coated my lie.

"You want another one?"

"No i no dey watch again" i replied and ran out to the mixture of laughter from him and his numerous babes.

"Baby please put that film this boy just brought lets watch" the lecturer said as i heard the girl getting up. I tiptoed away smiling, make dem watch the film finish na, na she go be the next actress, i thought.

**********TWO DAYS LATER
"Aunty Wassup na, welcome oo,
why your face come fat like this? Na so vilage people dey enjoy?" i asked Aunty Charity as she came back from her journey, i was the only one at home but i did not dare touch any ones room keys again, i had learnt my lesson.

"Oduwaaa, you dey crase ba? Na so my face been dey when i travel abi na only one side dey fat?" She replied angrily and went inside.

I first went inside and laughed to my heart content cus one side of her face had gained popularity, it was reddish brown and swollen, maybe Bee teach her nonsense or so i thought.

I crept to her room and knocked ill she let me in then i faced her with a strong face, i wanted to hear the full gist from her mouth.

"Aunty sorry oo, wetin happen na?" i asked with a fake remoresful face.

"Na armed robbers oo" she explianed.

"Chineke, armed robbers keh, i hope them no thief your wrapper" i told only myself before she would make my face same as hers.

"So wetin dem do you?" i asked with a feign suprise.

"I be wan enter motor nai some men say make i enter their motor cus e remain one chairand i be wan hurry come Akwanga cus night don de reach. Na so i enter oo, them come show me knife say make i give them my purse, they were armed robbers. Na so i give them my purse they come open come ask me one yeye question.

"Na your purse be this?" the one sitting with me said.

"Yes na, wetin happen" answered back.

"So madam, as you big reach na only N100 and this yeye phone wey dem use rubber ring tight nai you get or your body" he quarried me.

Na so them carry the purse stone me for face then drop me sharperly from the motor, i thank God say i be don near Akwanga so i just climb bike come back" she finished explaining before i released the laughter that was killing me within since.

"Aunty you three much, no wonder you dey always carry this phone, sowtey armed robbers reget am, chai, you ten much" i screamed and ran out to continue my laughter, i could her cursing.

"Oduwaa,so na to come laugh me abi, no ever enter my room again, nonsense boy" she cursed as i kept on laughing at her and her rubber ring phone.

All the smile dissapeared from my face when Racheal came in with two fat text books, she was smiling.

"Uduak i get five maths assignment oo"

I gave up and sat on the ground, now i don follow one chance, this girl must get 2/50 tomorow, she no go ever near me again but i never knew that other better plans than maths were to come up or so i thought.

***********************
#See una later. Work mood activated#

kingphilip:
u sure say him neva kpia

i go wound u oo. Na etisalat i been dey use.

Una good morning oo.

@Money soldier i sight uu, abeg go begin prepare ur ebook asap