Alpha001:
Happy new year NL.
I am posting this here because i really need help and i know a lot of people visit this section. Please i need urgent help as i don't want to continue like this in this 2019. Don't come and start insulting me please.

My problem is that i easily get angry and my anger doesn't go away easily. Very little things make me angry. Things that are not supposed to make me angry.
I can live in a room with a person for one year or even more without saying a word to the person just because he/she angered or did something bad to me.

I'm a quiet guy. People say i'm an introvert. I always try my best to avoid trouble. I am in my mid twenties buy have never been in a relationship.

This my problem of easily getting angry and keeping malice has been troubling me. I don't like it but still can't stop it. It is affecting my relationship with my family and close friends. And how can i even go into a relationship with this issue i'm having.
I find it very difficult to completely forgive.
I always envy those who are sociable and who don't easily get angry. I always wish to be like them.

Please i need your help/advice. Please this is not a spiritual problem, so don't start telling me about deliverance.
I would appreciate if this can be moved to the front page.
Thanks.

Half the problem is solved because you acknowledge it and have decided to seek help.
Give your life to Christ
Look for bible verses on forgiveness love,joy ,peace and meditate on them
If you realize how much christ has forgiven you ,you will be easy on others
As you feed on the word of God it changes you from the inside out
You can overcome this,don't give up
You may never be a social butterfly but can be the best you ,happy with yourself

Alpha001:
Happy new year NL.
I am posting this here because i really need help and i know a lot of people visit this section. Please i need urgent help as i don't want to continue like this in this 2019. Don't come and start insulting me please.

My problem is that i easily get angry and my anger doesn't go away easily. Very little things make me angry. Things that are not supposed to make me angry.
I can live in a room with a person for one year or even more without saying a word to the person just because he/she angered or did something bad to me.

I'm a quiet guy. People say i'm an introvert. I always try my best to avoid trouble. I am in my mid twenties buy have never been in a relationship.

This my problem of easily getting angry and keeping malice has been troubling me. I don't like it but still can't stop it. It is affecting my relationship with my family and close friends. And how can i even go into a relationship with this issue i'm having.
I find it very difficult to completely forgive.
I always envy those who are sociable and who don't easily get angry. I always wish to be like them.

Please i need your help/advice. Please this is not a spiritual problem, so don't start telling me about deliverance.
I would appreciate if this can be moved to the front page.
Thanks.

I think I know what your problems could be. You got to loosen up. From your post, it's Obvious you grew up being stubborn, which isn't a bad trait rather it could have been Channelled to the right direction.
Secondly, I perceive your parents could have been Strict on you while growing up for being stubborn hence your state of mind. I think you need love but most importantly you need to open up, Smile more, be jovial

elyte89:
Get a girlfriend first


If u can cope with her for 6months wout having same issue,den u re already getting out of ur problems


Cos women can be so annoying

OP this is a very bad idea.......

Start smoking weed
#my advice

You are an introverted melancholic.
U are very sensitive and very proud.
U can break this down by using Google.

What are your strong points?
Concentrate on them.

As per sensitivity, introverts are usually attracted to extroverts so get a good guy friend who is sassy. A sassy guy friend will always make you mad but he knows how to diffuse your anger.
Why I said guy is because you can fight with him today and drink with him the next day. As long as he understands your temperament, there are times he will give you gap cos u function well when alone.
He will help bring out the hidden you. U are actually a very good combination and sought after by all who understands what lay beneath that sensitivity.
Forget girls and work on yourself first.
Ranting to urself might help ease anger and tension.
Whenever your head is full, u can enter your room and rant, it helps a lot.
U are very normal. Just a little exposure and willingness to get hurt is what u need

Strive to control your mind and look at life from less threating perspective...
Never allow yourself to be intimidated easily, and always believe in you.
last but not the least, strive to be emotionally intelligent..





You got nothing wrong with you, I've been through that lane before but with the help of God and great people I was able to scaled through.

am very happy for u. your own your way to solving your problem cos u have been able to identify ur problem and accept it. a lot of ppl like u do not accept this fact and could be very annoying

GODPUNISHUNA:


You need medical help. Seriously jokes aside, you are not normal.

You display signs of schizophrenia. It's a mental illness

If you don't get treated you will find it hard keeping friendships or relationships. You are a perfect example of a loner and it's not a good thing

Dr Ben Carson weh done sah

Alpha001:
Happy new year NL.
I am posting this here because i really need help and i know a lot of people visit this section. Please i need urgent help as i don't want to continue like this in this 2019. Don't come and start insulting me please.

My problem is that i easily get angry and my anger doesn't go away easily. Very little things make me angry. Things that are not supposed to make me angry.
I can live in a room with a person for one year or even more without saying a word to the person just because he/she angered or did something bad to me.

I'm a quiet guy. People say i'm an introvert. I always try my best to avoid trouble. I am in my mid twenties buy have never been in a relationship.

This my problem of easily getting angry and keeping malice has been troubling me. I don't like it but still can't stop it. It is affecting my relationship with my family and close friends. And how can i even go into a relationship with this issue i'm having.
I find it very difficult to completely forgive.
I always envy those who are sociable and who don't easily get angry. I always wish to be like them.

Please i need your help/advice. Please this is not a spiritual problem, so don't start telling me about deliverance.
I would appreciate if this can be moved to the front page.
Thanks.

You can not change who you are, if this character has crystalized over the decades, because doing so, will fragment your mind, and you might start smoking weed to help deprogram yourself and that itself will take you on a journey that will really make people think you are crazy.

The only way out for you, to be realistic is to become another person. I want to repeat that again, you MUST become someone else totally and never be who you are now, because change is tough, let no one lie to you.

There is a laid down memo on how to become a different person, sometimes involving a change of name and location if possible, so the old neighborhood will not see you as losing your mind.

The issue is that you guys spend too much time on nairaland and local blogs that are filled with useless people that no one is sincerely sharing life-changing information that can challenge the programmed mindset which landed you where you are.

Should you want to remain who you are and not turn to a new person, then you need to begin to reprogram your nervous system, your psychology and your physiologically which has been molded to the character you now embody as ego.

Good luck.

Learn how not to read too much meaning into what has happened.
Read books on improving your self esteem
A must read book"things I wished I had known before we got married" by CHAPMAN.
Finally ask God to give u a heart to let go easily...for with God all things are possible!

You simply need love.

In addition to what this blessed man said, walk away from poisonous people or anything that will make you go irascible for no reason, team up with good vibing people, socialise more, talk more to people when you need to, open your mind, and understand that people are made differently. Your core beliefs are way different than others, hence, if they do things differently than the way you would, you might become angry. Smile always, love yourself more and keep reassuring yourself that you are better than who you used to be. View things from other people's perspectives too.


I have been there OP, I was worst but now I am free. I occupied my mind with positivities and love. Till this day before I left Naiija and now where I am, people have been asking how I manage to stay afloat against all odds. I made peace with my person. INNER PEACE BRO.

Smile more
Laugh more
Listen more
Love more.

They cost nothing!

EbukaHades10:
Anytime u start to feel angry,take a very deep long breath and ask urself if what u are getting angry over is worth it.

Alpha001:

Sir, i don't believe I will get better with age. It's even getting worse. It's not just with opposite sex but with everybody including my family.
I can be with my family for days and the only words they hear from me is greetings. This is killing me inside.

I have same problem. I believe it is a medical condition. You are not far from getting depression. especially the suicidal type.
It is medical condition. If you are in Lagos, go to LUTH at Ikeja. They will handle your case at the behavioral department. (mental disorder department)

Alpha001:
Happy new year NL.
I am posting this here because i really need help and i know a lot of people visit this section. Please i need urgent help as i don't want to continue like this in this 2019. Don't come and start insulting me please.

My problem is that i easily get angry and my anger doesn't go away easily. Very little things make me angry. Things that are not supposed to make me angry.
I can live in a room with a person for one year or even more without saying a word to the person just because he/she angered or did something bad to me.

I'm a quiet guy. People say i'm an introvert. I always try my best to avoid trouble. I am in my mid twenties buy have never been in a relationship.

This my problem of easily getting angry and keeping malice has been troubling me. I don't like it but still can't stop it. It is affecting my relationship with my family and close friends. And how can i even go into a relationship with this issue i'm having.
I find it very difficult to completely forgive.
I always envy those who are sociable and who don't easily get angry. I always wish to be like them.

Please i need your help/advice. Please this is not a spiritual problem, so don't start telling me about deliverance.
I would appreciate if this can be moved to the front page.
Thanks.

To start with, ignore the idiot who said you're a schizophrenic, you do not meet a single DSM-V criteria for schizophrenia diagnosis. What you do have is more likely a personality trait (which a decent percentage of the population have) or at worst a personality disorder. The most encouraging thing about your case is you do acknowledge you have a problem and you have a desire to solve it, that's the single hardest thing in cases like this. Most people with personality disorders are egosyntonic and will not accept that their behaviors are unreasonable or inappropriate.
With all that been said, what you need is a behavioral therapy, it's especially difficult to get help on this issue in Nigeria but I know many people that have resolved this problem in the country by themselves without psychiatric consult. When you need is to write down things that trigger all these negative emotions as you experience them everyday and write down how they negatively affect you. Remind yourself what you want and how those triggers and ensuing negative emotions are in conflict with your mind and wellbeing. Each time you find yourself in the moment of anger and malice, ask yourself what is the goal and if it's rewarding or draining. It's easier said than done trust me but remember it's a work in progress. Also important to note that, you should NOT shield yourself from these triggers by avoiding relationships. You need to embrace these triggers and flood yourself with emotions, overtime you learn how to cope and resist those negative emotions. It's mental process that you have to trust, it might take months, years but always remember your goal is to improve your life and relationships. That will keep you in perspective and help you in the long run. This is coming from someone who has firsthand experience and knowledge with people who have dealt with (and are still dealing with) issues such as yours. You are not alone and you have gone through the hardest stage of treatment which is knowing you have a problem and a desire to seek help. I wish you best.

Alpha001:
Happy new year NL.
I am posting this here because i really need help and i know a lot of people visit this section. Please i need urgent help as i don't want to continue like this in this 2019. Don't come and start insulting me please.

My problem is that i easily get angry and my anger doesn't go away easily. Very little things make me angry. Things that are not supposed to make me angry.
I can live in a room with a person for one year or even more without saying a word to the person just because he/she angered or did something bad to me.

I'm a quiet guy. People say i'm an introvert. I always try my best to avoid trouble. I am in my mid twenties buy have never been in a relationship.

This my problem of easily getting angry and keeping malice has been troubling me. I don't like it but still can't stop it. It is affecting my relationship with my family and close friends. And how can i even go into a relationship with this issue i'm having.
I find it very difficult to completely forgive.
I always envy those who are sociable and who don't easily get angry. I always wish to be like them.

Please i need your help/advice. Please this is not a spiritual problem, so don't start telling me about deliverance.
I would appreciate if this can be moved to the front page.
Thanks.

All you need is LOVE. Meanwhile you should not be taking issue too personal.

You just describe me op, my own is I let go of anger easily within 10-15 mins I would have forgotten about it but it will come back, if you deliberately offend me and expect me to forgive you well just have it in mind I'll do my own some day.


As you begin to reason with yourself, you will try to find solution to the problem by yourself.
I have learn to always think about my decision before taking action.

That's always my saving grace, will it affect me on the long run? What will I benefit from it?
If the answer is not good, then I'll refrain from it.

I'll advise you to read what I'll post below, it is helping me a lot, I try to read it everyday. I believe it will help you too.



Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.
― Mitch Albom


*Anger, resentment and jealousy doesn't change the heart of others-- it only changes yours.*
― Shannon Alder



*Never respond to an angry person with a fiery comeback, even if he deserves it...Don't allow his anger to become your anger.*
― Bohdi Sanders

Read this book "emotional intelligence by Daniel Goleman"
Trust me, you'll see why you are like this and how to change

You have all the advice you need here


Wait if you're a father and you have a child that behave like you to both the family members and friends how will you feel or react to the child's behavior?

You don't just hurt yourself alone but also people who loves you. I'm sure so many people have tried to talk to you about it and you don't want to change.

I know you're an introvert from your post but being an introvert is not a dead sentence.

You must get a Life !

Try to be friendly even if the people around you seems to be annoying maybe they choose to avoid you because by now everyone knows that you can't control your temperament.

Don't let that little voice in you destroy the man in you, deep down inside of you, l know you're a nice person so don't kill it with anger but surprised everyone with the new you.

Go out and make some friends, don't wait for the good, better or best, friends. Let them insult, laugh with you and help you to grow


Try and be close to your family members, get close to your mum, discuss with her, gist with your dad, relax with your siblings if the are too young to hangout with you but if they are adults try and enjoy some outing with them


This is 2019, please help yourself, going to hospital and taking medication Will not help you if you're not ready to accept the truth that no one is perfect and you must be ready to understand them and control your temper.


Finally when you are angry take a few mins to breathe and pray


The power of healing is in you


Make sure you heal yourself


May God help you

I WAS ONES IN YOUR SHOES,
I GET ANGRY SO QUICK
THATS THE REASON I AVOID PEOPLE.
GIRLS SAY I ALWAYS IGNORE THEM, IT'S NOT THAT I IGNORE PEOPLE, MY ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT I HAVE TRUST ISSUES.

BUT WITH PRAYERS EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT.

Alpha001:

Sir, i don't believe I will get better with age. It's even getting worse. It's not just with opposite sex but with everybody including my family.
I can be with my family for days and the only words they hear from me is greetings. This is killing me inside.

You and I have something in similar. Malice! But my malice is always towards my elder sister, she annoys anytime I see her but I try as much as possible to stop having that anger feeling towards her.

pDudd:


You have no idea what Schizophrenia is.

I swear. It's not even close. I think the guy is suffering from Paranoid Personality disorder given his unforgiven nature, and a bit of Schizoid affective disorder given his unusual quietness...which I believe is a form of defensive mechanism.


@Op, there is not much you can do about it. What you need is not fighting it, you can't. But someone else can for you. Get yourself a girlfriend, or friends whichever you are cool with. Now what to do is put yourself in the open. Let them know who you really are. You don't have to hide any longer. That's what has been killing you. You are bearing the burden of not hurting someone with your lifestyle forgetting it becomes impossible to do so when those people know what you are capable. I have someone close that exhibits this traits, and to be sincere was causing a lot of friction and strain. No one understood why. I took it upon myself to research certain things because for all it's worth no one wants to be deliberately cause other pains, a reality I have learned about humans. Either circumstances make them so, or they are so by nature. So after my research I educate others about what's going on, and trust me everyone has been living happy thereafter because of understanding. What you need is people that understand you. It's the only solution. But there is no way they can understand if you keep hiding yourself. Tell you what I told a girl I made a friend of?

"Hi, uhm... I had like us to be friends, but I'm afraid I may at the end hurt your feelings. So I had like to tell you about myself so you can make your own decision."

We are still friends till today, and that was three years ago.

Alpha001:
Happy new year NL.
I am posting this here because i really need help and i know a lot of people visit this section. Please i need urgent help as i don't want to continue like this in this 2019. Don't come and start insulting me please.

My problem is that i easily get angry and my anger doesn't go away easily. Very little things make me angry. Things that are not supposed to make me angry.
I can live in a room with a person for one year or even more without saying a word to the person just because he/she angered or did something bad to me.

I'm a quiet guy. People say i'm an introvert. I always try my best to avoid trouble. I am in my mid twenties buy have never been in a relationship.

This my problem of easily getting angry and keeping malice has been troubling me. I don't like it but still can't stop it. It is affecting my relationship with my family and close friends. And how can i even go into a relationship with this issue i'm having.
I find it very difficult to completely forgive.
I always envy those who are sociable and who don't easily get angry. I always wish to be like them.

Please i need your help/advice. Please this is not a spiritual problem, so don't start telling me about deliverance.
I would appreciate if this can be moved to the front page.
Thanks.

For admitting your problem, it's half way solved. God for you.
Anger, malice, and hatred are like acid solutions. They eat up their containers over time. Try to empty them occasionally by talking to people about it, and you'll see how good you feel afterwards.

babeosisi:


Half the problem is solved because you acknowledge it and have decided to seek help.
Give your life to Christ
Look for bible verses on forgiveness love,joy ,peace and meditate on them
If you realize how much christ has forgiven you ,you will be easy on others
As you feed on the word of God it changes you from the inside out
You can overcome this,don't give up
You may never be a social butterfly but can be the best you ,happy with yourself

Sorry to burst your bubble. Those things don't work.

Bros, get yourself a good girlfriend

OP don't listen to anyone trying to diagnose and label you on nairaland
Some of them have bigger issues than you

sexymoma:
Bros as u dey do so u go dey dey miss opportunities o...u be from ekiti ?
na dem dey do yeye like that...
before you quote me ma papa na from there..so i sabi wetin i dey type

Haha, funny

Being an introvert myself, i discovered that introverts tend to find meaning to everything and we have enough time to ponder on littlebthings tgatbhas happened coa we would never say them out .
The best way to stop thia habit is by:
1) Love and believe in urself: It is only when u dont believe in urself that everything people say would get to u
2) Voice it out whenever u are angered : Make sure the person knows u are not happy with him/her cos some people say things that hurt and they dont even know.
3) someone said u should take a deep breath and re evaluate whether u are overreacting. That would help too
3) Learn to relate more.
The most inportant way to achieve this is by believing in urself. If u believe and live ur looks, No one can make u feel inferior cos no matter what they say, u would see it as a joke cos u know that u are ok.
Stay blessed.

TheWalkingMind:
Sorry to burst your bubble. Those things don't work.

You tried it and it didn't help you

landmark86:


You're bless

No, he's Alpa001

This is very wrong. What kind of rubbish is this?
Armchair psychiatrists, diagnosing rubbish for people.
Alpha001
Please ignore this post and any other person trying to diagnose trash for you.


[s]

GODPUNISHUNA:


You need medical help. Seriously jokes aside, you are not normal.

You display signs of schizophrenia. It's a mental illness

If you don't get treated you will find it hard keeping friendships or relationships. You are a perfect example of a loner and it's not a good thing

[/s]

Get help fast! You need to enroll in some anger management therapy program. I know someone close that anger is destroying her marriage. She is still grandstanding, not taking advise from even family members. She is withdrawn to herself, she doesn't want friends and families around her. She is killing herself, getting sick easily, always sad. She wouldn't share anything with anybody, she takes the anger on her husband and actually now asking for divorce.

It isn't your fault bro, I understand totally.

I used to be like that, you know how to overcome the issue? Don't take anything anybody does to you personally.

Anybody's behavior or actions towards you is not about you, it's about them.